Revelations

Clarke:

I woke up pressed against Bellamy's side, my face buried in the crook of his neck his soft stubble itching against my face. Bellamy had his arm carefully placed underneath my head, his breathing was heavy. I remained in place making sure I don't wake him up, it's clear he was still in pain some of his wounds looked inflamed. If we were living in peace with the grounders how could this happen?

It was odd to think that I had a daughter now, that it had been 6 years since Mount Weather. I had forgotten such a large portion of my life. No one's told me much yet, but that's because everyone's working to get things ready for winter. Where was Finn? Where were Lincoln and Jasper? Where are we? This place doesn't look like anything we had on the Ark. There's actually fully functional machines, medicine, beds. It was nice, but where did this all come from? How did we get all of this? There's a lot of missing dots that needed to be drawn back together.

Bellamy began to stir beneath me, his breathing slowly becoming normal. I shifted my weight away from him, but his arm tightened around me. He began to roll out his neck, pressing his nose into my hair. Once he was completely awake he backed away, pulling his arms out from underneath me. "I'm sorry. I just..."

I awkwardly shifted my body over, the pain shooting throughout my body. "It's okay. I was the one on your side." Bellamy's eyes run along the curves of my face, his eyes narrowed down at me, a dimple forming at the corner of his mouth when he smiled. He felt safe. A part of me didn't want to pull away, but like before this isn't the time. Knowing Bellamy, he's probably got a line of girls waiting for him to recover, just like before.

There was an awkwardness between us, something we'd never had before. But it was quickly broken when the door to our room opened and Madi came in holding a basket of food. Bellamy and I shifted apart. I could feel my cheeks growing red from the embarrassment, but what was I embarrassed about? I mean Bellamy is my fiancé. Is it so wrong to feel something for him? Madi set the basket down between us, kicking her boots off before she climbed in between us crossing her legs beneath her.

"We wanted to have lunch with you guys. It's not the same being down there without you." Bellamy shifted up leaning his back against the wall, I quickly followed suit sitting up beside him. It was hard to focus on the physical pain when there was so much going on that I was completely unaware about.

Immediately the door opened again. Now Murphy, Raven, Monty, Harper, and Miller walked in followed by a woman about our age. She had a square jaw with high cheekbones, a large tattoo running from the left side of her face and cutting through the middle of her nose. She was clearly a grounder. She had honey brown eyes, emphasizing her caramel skin tone. Beside her stood another woman who appeared to be a grounder. She had pale skin and long brown hair. Her face was round with prominent cheekbones and full lips.

The woman with the tattoo on her face stood beside Murphy her arm carefully laced around his. The tall woman stood beside Bellamy, her hand placed carefully at the edge of the bed. Her eyes ran up and down Bellamy's body every few seconds. Occasionally her eyes would meet mine, but they immediately dropped down to the floor. Maybe she was Bellamy's new conquest. Maybe that was what Bellamy was into now. But that's none of my business, he was just my co-leader and now that Octavia is in charge I guess we're just friends.

Madi shifted closer handing me some well-cooked meat. Everyone else sat on the edges of some cots. Raven sat in the corner of the room, her hand mindlessly massaging her leg. "How's the work going out there?" I broke the silence that was consuming the room. Everyone's eyes shifting up to look at me as they ate in silence.

Madi smiled widely as she took a bite of some meat. "We've almost got enough trees ready to start putting together our first cabin." She placed her hand on Bellamy's leg giving it a soft squeeze. "Maybe you can come out and tell us what to do?"

"Maybe." Bellamy looked over to me, a hopeful look in his eyes. He nudged Madi's side with his foot softly smiling down at her. "You've taken over for me for one day and you've already got these kids whipped into shape better than me?"

Murphy scoffed from the foot of our bed, he stood up pulling a stool at Bellamy's side. "You have no idea." He patted Madi's shoulder, earning a light laugh from Madi. I was taken back by the depth of Madi and Murphy's relationship. It seemed genuine like Murphy actually cared for someone other than himself.

"If she's going to be the commander one day it's good to start practicing now," Octavia mumbled as she pushed herself up. Raven quickly stood up, grabbing her arms and helping her lean up against the wall. "Has anyone given you any trouble?" Raven grabbed some meat and bread for Octavia setting it in a basket and handing it to her before sitting back down at the edge of a cot. Her elbows leaned forward onto her knees.

Madi looked over to Murphy, a tight smirk on her face. The famous Blake smirk, she was a spitting image of Bellamy. Long dark hair, fairly light freckles across her nose, dirt all over her face, and some bruised knuckles. But she had the most beautiful green eyes and a round face almost like mine. "You really need to have a conversation with Glass," Murphy mumbled lowly. Low enough so you could barely put together the words coming out of his mouth.

Glass was one of the girls from the Ark. She came down with the rest of our people. She's what Bellamy would call one of the privileged. Her mom and dad were both engineers working alongside my dad. But unlike her parents, Glass was superficial, rude. Bellamy may have called me a princess, but I think he just had me confused with Glass.

Bellamy's body tensed as he stared down at Madi, an infuriated look on his face. "What did she do now?" Miller belted out a laugh, nearly choking on the bread in his mouth. Harper threw a bottle of water at him, but Miller couldn't stop laughing. Bellamy rolled his eyes, unfazed by anything. I felt like an outsider not knowing anything that had been going on or had gone on. It was weird to feel like the outcast when I had been so involved in everything else, but I guess that's just my life now.

"Nothing," Madi mumbled under her breath. Bellamy's eyes narrowed down at her, he folded his arms in front of his chest. She huffed out some air before looking back up at Bellamy. "She said that she was Octavia's second and that she should be leading instead of me." Murphy nudged her side, urging her to continue but her face fell back down to the food in her lap. "And she said the only reason I'm in charge is because I'm Clarke's daughter." She angrily bit off a piece of her bread staring down. Me? Why would her being my daughter mean anything? I'd only been the leader of the hundred, but once my mom came down I was nothing. If anything, I had to have been a doctor, but that's it.

Bellamy leaned forward tilting her chin up so her eyes met his. "You know that's not true." She looked back down at her food her eyebrows tightly crinkling together. A warm feeling tingled in my heart as I watched Bellamy. Obviously, he was good with kids, he practically raised Octavia and he had been good with Charlotte too before she died. But to see him actively interacting with Madi was nice. Madi had to be at least 13 or 14. I mean being that young and being a leader, she had to be amazing.

I shifted closer to her placing my hand on hers. She immediately looked up at me, a disappointed look in her eyes. "Yes, you are my daughter, but I can see you're so much more than that. When we came to the ground I'd be a terrible leader without Bellamy. The fact that everyone trusts you to do this on your own already proves you're better than I ever was." The gleam returned in her eyes as she stared at me, a tight smile on her face. She squeezed my hand. It's true. The way everyone looked at her was clear that she played a large part in everyone's lives.

"She's right. Clarke thinks with her head, but not with her heart. Bellamy thinks with his heart, but not with his head. I use my aggression. You do all three." Octavia tilted her head towards us, a soft smile on her face. "You've learned from our mistakes and that makes you better than any of us."

I never thought about it like that. I guess I am one to think things through from my head and Bellamy has always been the one to think things through with his heart, but that's why we kept each other centered.

"She's right. You have earned everyone's respect. Clarke has nothing to do with it." Madi smiled handing Bellamy some more bread and meat. I would give anything to just remember everything, remember Madi, remember all the good and bad things that had happened in the past few years.

Raven sat back down in the corner of the room, a blank expression on her face as she was deep in thought. "Raven." Her eyes shot up to look up at me, a sad look in her eyes. I held up some meat and bread in my hands nodding my head in the direction of the stool at the edge of my bed. "You haven't eaten anything. If you're going to be working I think it's important to build your strength."

Everyone else quietly continued their conversations. Raven took a seat beside me, taking the bread from my hands. Bellamy and Madi were deep into a conversation with Octavia. "Are you okay?"

She looked up from her bread, a light gleam in her eyes. She shook her head. "This is my fault. You can't remember anything because of me. I'm sorry." Raven's head hung low as she stared back down at the bread in her hands. How was this her fault? "I was the one who did your surgery, I didn't see the clots."

"You? Why would you do my surgery?" She didn't look up. The room fell silent, everyone carefully watching me. I placed my hand on her wrist pulling her attention back up to me. "Raven. Tell me."

"Jackson was doing surgery on Bellamy. You were in terrible shape and Abby was still doing surgery on Octavia." Her voice was breaking, but her face was tense. "Bishop tortured you and nearly killed you. I was all we had left to help you. I'm sorry I let you down." Who was Bishop? Why was he torturing me if Octavia was in charge? I'm not even the best doctor, what significance would I have? But all of that was beside the point Raven shouldn't feel guilty for saving my life.

Shifting my hand from her wrist to her hand I gave her a soft squeeze. "I lost my memory, but at least I'm alive." A tear slipped down her cheek as she shook her head. "Thank you for saving my life, again." She wiped the stray tear, sniffling softly. There was a relieved look on her face followed by a weak smile. Before I knew it, I was wrapped up in a hug. Raven's hair tickled my nose as she tightened her arms around my neck. Once she pulled away I handed her the rest of the basket of food. "Now eat." She laughed taking the basket and placing it in her lap. Bellamy placed his hand on mine gently squeezing. I turned to see him softly smiling at me. He handed me some more bread.

Raven didn't deserve to feel guilty for this, she's not a doctor. She could be, but that doesn't matter. Some things can't be controlled. It's the hardest part about the job, it's unpredictable. We don't have the resources to foresee such issues. At least not any that I know of yet.

Jackson burst through the door scanning the room that had now fallen back into place with indistinct conversations and laughter, a soothing feeling amongst everyone. "Everyone's gotten back to work, so should all of you." He nodded towards the door, his arms crossed. "Emori I need your help with managing the medical inventory." He was facing the petite grounder woman with a large tattoo across her face. Emori. She pressed a kiss to Murphy's cheek before standing up and making her way towards Jackson. "Echo, Kane and Indra need your help with training." The other grounder woman nodded quickly standing up and making her way out the door. "Raven, they need you upstairs to check the systems. Security is down in the prison cells." Raven immediately jumped up, her eyes wide as she made her way past Jackson.

Soon everyone made their way out of the room and it felt empty again. Octavia had fallen back asleep. Everyone had changed so much, they looked happier. But how could anyone be happy if we had lost so much? We lost so many people. We lost our home. It makes me wonder what I've missed in the past few years. How did we come to join in with the grounders?

Bellamy slowly pulled his body back down lying on his side. "How are you feeling?" He shifted his weight onto his side, holding his head up with the palm of his hand.

"I feel like there's a lot that I don't know." His nostrils flared as he shifted a little more, settling into his side to get comfortable. I lifted my hand up to brush my hair out of my face when I caught a glimpse of something shining on my finger. I stopped examining my hand carefully, I felt the blood rush to my face. This is my mom's ring.

I looked back up at Bellamy. He tilted his head to the side, a soft look in his eyes. He opened his mouth slightly, almost ready to say something but he couldn't. I continue to stare down at the ring on my finger. Bellamy grabbed my hand, running his thumb along the knuckles of my hand. His eyes focused on my hand. "I wouldn't even know where to start."

I squeezed his hand, placing my free hand on top of his. "Start by telling me how everyone is." His eyes shifted up towards me. I felt my heart clench as he stared at me. His chocolate brown eyes made me feel transparent, something I'd never understand why. His eyebrows knit closer together forming a soft wrinkle above his nose.

He shook his head, his dark curls dancing across his forehead. "Your mom, Kane, Octavia, Raven, Monty, Murphy, Miller, Harper, Jackson, and about 100 of our people survived." There was a sad look on his face, his lips curling into a frown. "After we freed everyone from Mount Weather there were a lot of issues with the grounders. Jaha brought back a psychotic computer chip that controlled everyone's minds created by the program to cause the nuclear war. The only good thing to come from that was her telling us that there was another radiation wave that was going to kill us all off, making Earth uninhabitable for five years." He stopped taking in my expression, an almost frantic look on his face. "We found a bunker to hold one hundred people from each clan. Most of us stayed there, but some of us had to go back to the Ark ring."

I couldn't even process all of this. Only 100 of our people were left. How did we free everyone from Mount Weather? What was this computer program? A part of me felt like my whole world was being turned around. Bellamy began to rub circles into the back of my hand with his thumb still carefully watching me. And that's all it took to snap me back into reality. "What happened to everyone else? Finn, Jasper, Lincoln?"

His eyes dropped down again, his breathing a little heavier than before. He let out a deep breath before shifting his attention back to me. "Finn was killed." He shook his head, dropping my hand as he leaned back onto his back. I felt my head start spinning and my blurry grow blurry, but I focused my attention back on Bellamy. "Jasper was killed by the radiation wave, Praimfaya. Lincoln was executed by Chancellor Pike. Every clan was allowed 100 of their people, so whoever didn't make it on that list was left out in the radiation."

A tear ran down my cheek, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. "How? How did Finn die? Why wasn't Jasper in the bunker? Why was Lincoln executed? Why was Pike, our old Earth skills teacher, the chancellor? Who let this happen? Where was I?" I felt my body heat up. I felt more angry than sad. This wasn't fair, how could I have let this happen? How could anyone let this happen?

Bellamy turned his head towards me a hard look on his face as he watched me. "Finn was killed when he turned himself in." He looked over his shoulder towards Octavia, but she was still sleeping. "Lincoln. He was executed...he was executed because of me." A few tears built up in his eyes, but he looked up at the ceiling blinking them away.

I grabbed his hand tightly, now it was my turn to comfort him. "I'm sure that's not true." He looked up at me through his lashes. The Bellamy I know may do a lot of questionable things, but he was no killer. He would never do that to Octavia. I rubbed some hair out of his eyes, my fingers lingering along his forehead. This was clearly a conversation we'd need to have when we were actually alone, just the two of us. I held my hand out, wiggling my ring finger in front of his face. "So, are you going to tell me why I'm wearing this?"

He weakly smiled at me, his mood a little lighter but I could still see the pain in his eyes. A subject change was just what he needs right now. Clearly, the past few years were, emotional to say the least. Something that may be hard to think about. He grabbed my hand holding it out in front of him. "Well, most people wear it when they're engaged or married." His mouth tugged into a tight smirk. Goosebumps grew across my body, a wave of happiness hitting me. It's a relief to see the smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes, giving him a half-smile for his half-joke. "Which am I?" Bellamy shifted a little closer, the heat from his body beaming off of him. I could feel my cheeks grow pink. Was it wrong that a part of me hoped that this ring was his? He's my friend. My co-leader. My partner. That's all we've ever been. That's all we'll ever be. But with Finn dead, I don't know who else it could belong to. Had I fallen in love with a grounder?

Bellamy cupped my cheek in the palm of his hand. My face felt tiny alongside his hand. Another waved of joy jolted through my body. It was almost embarrassing at the way I reacted to him touching me. I quickly shook off the feeling focusing my attention back on him. "You're engaged." He looked down, cracking a soft smile. His eyes slowly shifted up to meet mine. "You're engaged to me." He pressed his lips together, two dimples forming at the corners of both sides of his mouth. A sad look touched his eyes as he stared at me. "But you don't have to be. I know this all might be a lot for you and you don't remember any of this, but..."

I quickly wrapped my arms around him, burying my head into the crook of his neck. It took him a few seconds to realize what I had done before he wrapped his arms around me too. A sigh of relief slipping from his lips. It was nice, it was safe, it was home. Something I had always felt with him but was always too scared to ever admit to myself let alone anyone else. "I trust you." He tightened his grip around my waist. It's true, he may be an asshole most of the time, but I trust him. He's been one of the few people I've come to care for, he'd always been there for me. "Maybe I'll remember everything or maybe I won't, but I know whatever has happened or will happen you'll always be by my side."

"How can you be so sure? I'm not the person I was when we first landed on the ground." There was a sad look on his face as he pulled away, but I kept my hands above his keeping him in place.

"I hope not," I laughed, earning a laugh out of him too. "You may have been reckless, completely insane, and big headed but every stupid thing you did was to protect your sister and to protect everyone else." The smile on his face grew, he tilted his head to the side almost embarrassed by it all. "But if it's any consolation I've loved that side of you even then."

Without any hesitation Bellamy pressed his lips against mine, sending a wave through my body. But this feeling was different, it felt like everything was falling back into place. A revelation, no an epiphany. Everything hit me almost instantly. Everything I had been missing was back. I quickly pulled away holding Bellamy's face in my hands. His face dropped, but once he caught a glimpse of the smile on my face he looked at me completely confused. It was all back. All the memories of Mount Weather, Allie, and Praimfaya. Finn, Lexa, Roan, Luna, Jasper. I couldn't contain my feelings any longer. Warm tears poured down my cheeks, uncontrollable sobs slipping from my mouth.

Bellamy pulled me into her arms, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, his chin carefully placed on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just...I don't know. I'm sorry," he mumbled into my ear. His tears ran down my shoulder.

I quickly pulled away holding his face in my hands again, the tears still uncontrollably falling down my face. I pressed another kiss to his lips, this one was deeper full of desperation. The relief of knowing he was alive and well, that everyone was. I couldn't stop crying as I kissed Bellamy. Savoring every second of our kiss, my hands slipping into his hair and his hands tightening around my waist pulling me closer to him. The feeling of having his lips on mine was heavenly like there was nothing that could ever break us apart.

Once I found the courage to break away I stared at him, the tears had now stopped. His lips were swollen, hair completely disheveled from the way my fingers twisted through it. We were both panting, trying to regain our strength before making any further movements. "I didn't think you would make it." That's when it hit him, the realization of knowing it was all back. That I remembered. A single tear slipped down his cheek as a large smile grew on his face. He couldn't contain his happiness, once again pulling me into a tight embrace this time he buried his face into the base of my neck. He placed gentle kisses up my neck right to the back of my ear.

He pulled away once he reached the soft spot behind my ear. "I should have kissed you earlier," he laughed. A stray tear running down his face. I wiped it off his cheek. He pressed his forehead into mine, letting out a deep sigh. He leaned forward fixing the pillows elevating my leg before lying back, pulling my head against his chest.

This was what home felt like. We'd been through hell together, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Maybe at one point, I'd wanted to start all over, just forget everything and reset but now I know that's not true. I'd give anything to have all of this. Everything we'd been through only made us who we were.

Bellamy pressed a kiss to my temple before falling back asleep. I stayed awake watching his chest rise and fall, the image of Bishop cutting a knife through his side engraved into my brain. The tears were endless once I took a look at the stitches across his stomach, his bruised face, and the inflammation around all his wounds. My heart hurt for all the pain he had to have gone through. But it doesn't matter now. Now we will get better, grow stronger, and we'll make sure that Bishop gets what he deserves.

Yikes I don't know how I feel about this chapter if I'm being completely honest, but hopefully you guys like it. I'm a little skeptical, but it was breaking my heart to have Clarke lose her memory. Some of the best Bellarke moments happened after Finn died, so you know I couldn't do that to them. Sorry if this feels rushed. Still hope you all enjoy it. xx