Splatoon: The Bate Bros
Sinking Feeling
Sharq was prowling through a jungle filled with trees, occasional vines with yellow fruits hanging down, sneaking through the underbrush of grass and sticks. Sharq, instead of his Takoroka Mesh cap, had on an olive green bandanna wrapped around his forehead, wearing an Olive Drab uniform on his entire body, black boots and gloves, a radio and multiple belts strapped to him, a satchel full of ammunition at his side. In his hands, he had equipped an assault rifle of sorts, a black suppressor worn on the gun muzzle, made to silence enemies… Silently.
He looked forward, noticing a group of enemy squids, wearing balaclavas over their heads and faces, green camouflaged uniforms worn, some with extra pouches strapped to their chests, others with small radio devices of some kind worn by their arm.
Sharq smirked, carefully aiming down the sights of his rifle. He slowly pulled on the trigger, then completely slammed his finger down on it, sending a barrage of ink propelled bullets through the air, nearly invisible blue trails following behind the bullets. The sounds of projectiles whizzing by grabbed the attention of his enemies, turning around, only to face the bullets head on, getting eliminated quickly. Sharq felt pretty proud of himself for a moment, until the sound rang out.
"OH MY GOD!" Someone shrieked.
Sharq gulped, and all the enemies anywhere close to the area Sharq was arrived, blasting Sharq, filling him full of holes. Sharq clenched his abdomen, and fell on the ground, dying.
"Sharq, what's wrong, respond." A British voice came from Sharq's radio. "Sharq? Sharq? SHARQ!"
Sharq woke up with a yelp, quickly silenced by Splin clamping a hand over his mouth.
"Shh! Do you hear that?" Splin asked, looking around.
"Nph." Sharq took his brother's hand off his mouth. "You mean the scream? Yeah, I did, it alerted everyone!"
Splin stared at Sharq oddly, until a moment of clarity came to him. "...Stealth dream?"
Sharq's eyes widened somewhat. "How'd you know?"
"Must just be a coincidence." Splin told him. "Listen."
The two trained their ears on the source of the noise. They could faintly hear Maria's voice speaking.
"...at a certain age, certain varieties of Inklings undergo something called 'reaching maturity.'" Maria paused, continuing shortly. "Our family is mainly Giant Squids and Northern Shortfin Squids. Judging by your changes…"
"Whoa, wait what?" Sharq blinked rapidly, clearing his eyes. "Did I hear that right? I didn't know we changed more as we grew!"
"That's a basic process of life, Sharq." Splin told him.
The two went silent again, hearing Rem's voice. "...may want to keep your voice down."
Splin and Sharq turned to each other nervously.
"You don't think that might happen to us, do you?" Sharq asked, glancing over where the other voices came from.
Splin shrugged. "Only if the voice says so."
And I say, go to sleep, don't worry about it!
Splin and Sharq, peering up at the shattered ceiling for a last glimpse of the stars, tucked themselves under the covers of their beds, drifting off to sleep.
Sharq lifted the sheets off his bed sleepily, rubbing the sand out of his eyes. He reached for the dresser, taking his Takoroka Mesh and placing it on his head, adjusting the cap. Slowly hopping out of his bed, he made his way towards the room Rem was sleeping in, passing by a snoozing Ix. He stopped suddenly, turning to his right, noticing that Rem was sitting by her sleeping mother. He swiftly flicked the lights on via lightswitch on wall, the room filling with a white light.
Rem sat on her mattress, though she looked much different from before. Instead of a few tentacles draped from her head, they appeared to have multiplied, thousands of thin, long tentacles falling from her head, reaching the floor.
Sharq was awestruck, staring at Rem with a shocked expression, blinking to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "...So that's what happened."
"You heard it, huh?" Rem said, leaning back by the mattress, making sure not to land on Maria. Sharq nodded in response. "I knew my screaming would wake you all up. Sorry about that."
"I-It's okay. Nothing major. Do you… Want anything for breakfast?" Sharq asked, keeping an eye on Rem as he went.
Rem stood up, an apparel consisting of a Zekko Hoodie, gray (grey if someone among the audience doesn't like American English) trousers, and Punk White Boots revealed clearly on her person, Rem sighing in relief for some reason. "Oh thank god they still fit. Uh, do you have any waffles?"
Sharq thought back to earlier breakfasts. "Yeah, we have waffles." He replied nonchalantly, walking over to the fridge. "...Of course we still would."
"I'll have some of them, please." Rem told Sharq, standing up and walking over to her brother. She stared at him silently, swiftly kicking him after a moment, yelling, "Wake up!"
Ix woke with a start, hopping off his comfortable couch slightly. "OH MY GOD SIS! The hell is wrong with you!?"
"Stop shouting!" Maria screamed, glaring with a single, unflinching eye. "I'm trying to sleep!"
Splin rustled underneath the covers of his bed, sliding out slowly and stealthily. He sneaked past the three restless squids, reverting to humanoid form next to his brother, behind the counters.
"This is a family argument?" Splin asked, tilting his head. "Nothing like in the movies, I expected more shattered objects."
"Yeah." Sharq remarked, staring at the scene.
Splin and Sharq gazed at the three older squids, snapping back into reality quickly.
"Oh right, what are you doing behind the counters?" Splin questioned.
"Rem asked if we had any waffles." Sharq told him.
"Hmm." Splin hummed, reaching for the handle on the side of the refrigerator, opening the door. He looked inside, a large bowl of batter still inside. "Jackpot."
"I'll get started on the bacon!" Sharq said.
Splin stared at Sharq with a blank, unamused face. Salty rolled from his bed, staring at Sharq with the same expression. Tele-Cube joined them, a certain sadistic smirk from a certain sunflower on its screens. The Tele-Cube's screens shifted to a more appropriate face within seconds as if to correct its mistake.
"Come on! Just once?" Sharq asked.
The three others looked at each other quickly, nodded, and gave Sharq a hopeful thumbs up. At least, Splin did, the others sort of hopped in place. Salty and Tele-Cube rested on the counter, keeping an eye on Sharq, Splin quickly moving to a waffle maker on an opposite counter. Taking the bowl full of waffle mixture, he poured a spoonful into the machine. Rem, Ix, and Maria had stopped their minor scuffle, watching the brothers cook, a light hunger on their minds. After a few minutes, the waffle maker let out a tiny chime, signifying that the waffles inside were finished. Splin opened the waffle maker, a small batch of waffles conveniently stacked inside. He placed the stack on a plate, taking some of the waffles and placing them on separate plates, leaving the plates on the other counter.
Splin turned around for a few seconds, hearing the sound of munching at a breakneck pace. He swiveled back around, noticing all that was left on Rem and Ix's plates were a handful of crumbs. Sharq turned around as well, freezing in place. The bacon he was cooking in the pan froze up as well for bad joke reasons.
"Wow, I forgot how fast you two eat." Maria commented, Splin and Sharq still staring speechless.
"Guess we better be off to Saltspray. Should be back at lunch." Rem put, she and Ix running out of the door.
The younger brothers stared at the doors they left through, turning to Maria for a possible explanation.
Maria just smiled. "They train a lot, I guess." She went back to eating her waffles.
"...Hey Sharq, your bacon." Splin pointed behind Sharq, where a bit of smoke was rising from the pan.
"...oh. Oh!" Sharq lifted the pan up, grabbed a plate, and emptied the bacon onto the plate, the strips of meat looking a little charred.
"What are you two planning on doing today?" Maria asked.
"...I dunno, I'm actually at a loss for once." Splin said, staring blankly.
"For once?" Sharq asked sarcastically, Splin lightly pushing him playfully in return.
"Wait, I forgot, the new Burgers vs. Pizza Splatfest is on!" Splin said. "They have the new Museum d'Alfonsino in the rotation I've always wanted to visit!"
"Museum?" Maria questioned.
"Museum d'Alfonsino is an art museum, some of the greatest works of art in Inkopolis and beyond are there. It's a great opportunity…"
"To practice on the new map!" Sharq added. "It was just released as part of the rotation!"
"Strange that they would risk paint being thrown on the artworks if you ask me." Splin said.
"It's not permanent! Come on Splin, if we get down there quickly enough, we can probably still make it to the other new map, something, something, resort…?"
"Mahi Mahi." Splin corrected.
"There it is! Wanna come Maria?" Sharq asked, Maria politely declining.
"No thank you, I think I'll just stay here for a little longer, maybe I'll visit the plaza later. Have fun." Maria waved.
"Thanks, you too Maria! Let's go bro!" Sharq shouted, leaping out the still shattered window.
Splin and Maria stared at the still broken glass pane.
"I need to leave notes for myself, seriously." Splin remarked. "Bye Maria."
Splin contemplated leaping out the window for a moment, deciding against the ridiculous notion. He waved to goodbye to Maria, joining his brother outside. The two switched to squids, ready for takeoff, propelling themselves off into the big blue.
The two ever unlucky landers crashed into the sides of two trucks set up in the plaza, folks nearby who watched the scene were either startled by the brothers' surprise entrance or slightly used to the brothers' collision with the truck.
"Oh boy."
The Squid Sisters themselves, talking amongst a crew setting up for the Splatfest, noticed the brothers sticking to the side of the truck, taking it upon themselves to walk over.
"I'm pretty sure we never had pancakes as a Splatfest choice." Marie snarked with a mild chuckle, prying Splin off the truck. Callie did the same with Sharq, the two brothers floating to the ground almost like flat sheets of paper.
The two picked themselves up, shaking their heads.
"Are you okay A- I mean, um…" Callie stammered.
"Sharq!" Sharq introduced himself. "My brother's name is Splin, just to let you know!"
"Ah!" Callie nodded. "Nice bumping into you guys, or at least you bumping into the trucks… But we gotta set up for Splatfest! See you!"
Callie and Marie performed their signature "Stay Fresh" pose, then walked away, speaking idly with Inklings wearing earpieces and Splatfest Tees. Splin and Sharq waved adieu to the idols of Inkopolis, leaving the plaza, entering the Inkopolis Tower, the Great Zapfish's whiskers buzzing in anticipation of the night's activities. Splin and Sharq quickly entered the loadout room, the screens rotating around them glowing with images of Turf Wars. The two, having already been ready, were teleported off to the next available lobby.
Splin and Sharq rose from a spawnpoint, their blue tentacles remaining the same. The two looked around, finding that the area they spawned in was suspended in a pool of sorts.
The brothers stood on the stage officially named Mahi Mahi Resort. The entire battle stage was built in a large, squid-shaped pool filled to the brim with water, the pool surrounded by a large hotel, windows on the buildings for whatever reason glowing. A variety of platforms built in the pool rose out of the underwater floor, some with posters plastered on them. A second series of platforms was already submerged, presumably to be used in some sort of stage mechanic.
"Wow place looks pretty." Sharq commented, looking around. "Hey Splin, wanna take a dip?"
"After you." Splin joked, gesturing to the water, Sharq chuckling in response. Splin looked around for a moment, a confused look on his face. "...Again?"
"What?"
"See any other Inklings Sharq?" Splin asked.
Sharq looked around the area, only spotting a few jellyfish floating by on inner tubes, though some looked at Splin and Sharq puzzlingly.
"No one's here… Weird, did we pick Recon by mistake?" Sharq wondered aloud.
"I don't like this, the only other time Inklings didn't show up to a battle was… When the… Ranked Battle tower was malfunctioning…" Splin began to put two and two together.
A symphony of steel drums was heard, the windows on the resort all flashing in sync, forming an arrow pointing down. As soon as the arrow was seen, the stage began to descend into the water, much to the brothers' discontent.
"...Yep." Splin gulped, stepping off the spawn point.
"Darn new stages!" Sharq yelled, backing up to a corner of the spawn, water rising onto the stage.
The water began covering the entire stage, all platforms except the highest ones and the spawns submerged. Splin and Sharq were prepared for the worst, backing up against walls, the blue liquid reaching their feet, rising up to their ankles, the platform and spawnpoint underwater. They closed their eyes, waiting for the pain to begin, hoping for a respawn. The pain, in fact, was much tamer than they expected.
The two opened their eyes. The platform hadn't completely submerged, some walls still towered above the water. Looking down at their ankles, Splin and Sharq noticed that while the water stung somewhat, their legs remained intact.
"...Phew!" Sharq wiped his brow, attempting to take a seat.
"No wait!" Splin said, reaching for Sharq.
Sharq sat in the water, then began thrashing about, the water levels nearly suffocating him. Splin pulled Sharq back up, the other brother coughing and spitting out water.
"What!? But our legs are perfectly fine!" Sharq protested, gesturing both of his hands towards his legs.
"It appears that we still have some immunity to unfiltered water." Splin observed. "Just enough for our ankles to remain fine, but as for our entire body…"
Splin took an experimental dive, nearly sinking to the bottom, his body almost fading away in the water, until Sharq pulled him back up, Splin coughing up water like his brother did, his tentacles dripping ink and H2O.
"Yup, figured as much." Splin said in between coughs.
Sharq picked his brother up, then began shaking him mercilessly. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"
"Uh, testing the acidic properties-" Splin suggested.
Sharq cut his brother off, hugging him tightly. "No! You're not doing that, ever again!"
Splin blinked, patting his brother on the back reassuringly. "I'm fine, I'm fine!"
Sharq looked over his brother, checking him from head to toe, then hugged him again, just for sure.
"...Heh." Splin smiled somewhat.
Sharq glared at him. "What, what's so funny?"
"Remind you of a certain mishap with an inkslide, perhaps?" Splin poked him, pointing at the water.
The two looked into the water. Neither of them laughed and the both of them began to walk back from the liquid as it rose.
"So… How do we get out of this one?" Sharq asked.
The two went silent, looking around worriedly. The pool seemed clear.
"...The water's too high to Super Jump." Splin sighed. "I think we just bought the farm, Sharq."
"No!" Sharq gasped, "We don't even have any sea cows!"
Before Splin could say anything else, the two heard a paddle noise. They glanced at the water in confusion.
"Hello!"
Both of the brothers turned in the direction of the voice, noticing a fresh jellyfish wearing an Aloha Shirt seemingly tailored for him with a familiar purple hat, floating by on an inner tube.
"Jelonzo?" Splin asked.
The jellyfish waved. "Good day, kids of the squids! I see you are having the trouble, no?"
Splin and Sharq looked down at their feet, nodding.
"Aha! Do not fret, Jelonzo knows the trick to this sinking situation!"
Jelonzo paddled in the water using his tentacles, rowing him and his inner tube off to the dry ends of the pool. He returned quickly, having fetched a pair of inner tubes for the brothers.
"Here you are!" Jelonzo told them, tossing the two inner tubes using his tentacles, the two catching it swiftly.
Sharq put his head through his inner tube first, about to jump into the water, Splin stopping him quickly.
"Uh, you call me the fool when you're just about to leap before you look. Place the inner tube on the water, THEN jump on it." Splin instructed, placing his inner tube on the water, as if to demonstrate.
Sharq smiled, confusing Splin..
"Just glad we keep each other from getting splatted." He said, taking his inner tube, and placing it besides Splin. He leapt off from the platform, landing on the inflatable floatation device, moving towards the dry pool somewhat.
Splin followed, hopping on his, taking care to suspend most of his body above water.
"Thanks Jelonzo!" Sharq said.
Jelonzo took off his hat, raising it towards the two. "Anything for a fresh customer!"
Splin blinked. "Hold on, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here Jelonzo?"
Jelonzo put his hat back on. "Ah! Jelonzo is here to bathe in both the rays and the water! Very noble place, no? Plus, the females here are quite, ravishing, if you get what Jelonzo is telling you." Jelonzo stared at a jellyfish lounging on a chair, winking.
Splin and Sharq raised an eyebrow.
"Ha! The joke, rather silly, no? Jelonzo here to relax." He sighed and lounged back in his float.
"...Whatever floats your inner tube, man!" Sharq said.
Splin nodded, though he gave the jellyfish an odd look as he began to paddle back out. "...okay, well, thanks again for helping us Jelonzo, but we need to leave. See you!"
Jelonzo nodded, waving goodbye with one of his tentacles. "Be seeing you!"
The two brothers kicked at the water in a clumsy swimming attempt, drifting towards the side of the pool. The two slowly and carefully hopped off their inner tubes, landing safely on the other side.
"Whew…" Sharq sat on the ground, already exhausted.
You guys look a little soaked, here-
A cart carrying bundles of towels inexplicably drove by, two folded towels seemingly possessed by a ghost landing on the two brothers.
"Thanks voice." Splin said, wiping his face.
Don't mention it.
"So Splin, ready to visit the museum?" Sharq asked, patting his tentacles with the towel.
Splin sighed. "Nah… I'm think I'll just relax. ...Though that brings up the question, why did we get teleported to a stage inactive for Turf Wars?"
"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie began per the norm.
"It's Inkopolis News time!" Marie announced.
"Before we begin, we regret to inform the viewers that due to the upcoming Splatfest, the Mahi Mahi Resort stage will be closed to the public as it will not be included in the stage rotation." Callie said, pouting to emphasize her displeasure.
"We formally apologize to those who may have been accidentally transported to the stage, and possibly drowned." Marie stated. "It wasn't our fault, by the way."
Splin and Sharq watched a television screen set up by a small snack bar, Splin frowning at the newscast.
"Very helpful, thanks you guys." Splin grumbled, looking down.
"Sorry you two!" Callie giggled nervously.
Splin turned back to the screen, surprise etched on his face. "Wait, did you just hear what I s-"
"Anyways, moving on!" Marie said, giving the brothers a wave, before the screen shut off.
Splin and Sharq stared in bewilderment, then shrugged, walking off.
"I swear, this place keeps getting weirder and weirder…" Splin sighed.
"This just in! A robot is terrorizing the Saltspray Rig!" Callie announced, posing dramatically.
"There it is!" Splin shouted, running out.
Sharq chortled, following his brother. "Yep, same as always!"
As the both of them left with wet shoes, the Callie on-screen was handed a sheet of paper. She narrowed her eyes and smiled. "Uh...oops... Maybe not. Stay fresh?"
Marie just shook her head next to her. "I apologize for my illiterate partner."
"Hey!"
AN: I am sorry my fellow pizza friends. I have failed in my duty as Pizza King, the Burger Kings and Queens reign supreme this Splatfest! Sorry for the odd dialogue, I had begun this chapter before the Splatfest, so there's that…
Enough of my bellyaching about the Splatfest results, let's talk reviews! Thanks Ultrapyre and Dread Angel for reviewing! Ultrapyre, yeah, I appreciate the kind words, but hey, the powers thing might have an exception during a final battle, or if some sort of dimensional thing happens that just justifies it or something. Dread Angel, thanks, I really thought that Maria might do something like that, seems like something she'd use. Anyways, thanks again guys, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to go and NOT spend money, waiting for Cloud to be added for Smash DLC! See you next time!