A/N: This short piece is intended to be alternate ending for WYBRWIC. This is my "if I could ignore canon and just write the ending I would have preferred based on my own biases", this is the way it would have gone down. This point of departure here is Sekhmet's mindsuck from Aro as it's coming to an end. This is not fully sketched, but I wanted you guys to see how lucky you were to get a HEA- because this is what I originally intended- though in greater detail, I'm sure.

JADED

Like usual, despite getting the desired outcome, every decision she has ever made was wrong.

It was her fault that Charlie Swan was dead.

It was her fault that Renesmee Cullen was about to die.

There was only one way out.

But could she do it?

Yes, she could. But, Mathias would have to die.

And he knew it.

{{}}

Moira drew her force back in and grabbed Mathias from Caius's grasp. Immediately, she expelled her power out again, pushing all, Volturi and her allies alike, to the edges of the room. Only Mathias was with her in the midst of them kissed him gently.

"I'm sorry. It is the only way."

He smiled. "Of course, it is. Don't apologize. It is what fate put me on this earth to do."

Moira squeezed her eyes shut. "If there was another way, Mathias…"

Her voice trailed off, but he hushed her all the same.

"Shhh. I'm ready. Let's save her. Let's save all of them."

{{}}

Emmett picked through the crowd off disorientated Volturi, reached Renesmee on the edge of the mass, and slung her over his shoulder.

"No, Emmett, take me to Aro and Renata!" Renesmee gasped.

"Hell no, Nessie!"

"Let her go, Emmett!" Edward called. "It's what Charlie told her to do."

Bella gasped, and she looked pleadingly to her husband for explanation.

"I'll explain later, love. Nessie, make it quick, we have to get out of her as soon as we can. Bella, we need a reverse rutabaga. Wrap your shield around the outside of Moira's barrier. Contain it, if you can, for as long as you."

Bella understood. She pushed out her shield across her family and loved ones, meeting Moira's physical boundary on the edge of the Volturi line. The Volturi were trapped in the inner ring Renesmee ducked through the double shields without resistance. She knew now her role. It was what she had been born to do.

"Edward, what's going on?" Carlisle yelled.

"She's still anucktumai. She can combine the two strengths and kill them, but…" he hesitated. "She needs human blood to be strong enough. She's going to drink Mathias."

{{}}

Aro lay protected under Renata's shield, but Moira was an open target, focusing all its strength on maintaining the shield around the others. She was exposed. Aro knew this, and with Renata's protection, he would destroy her in her moment of weakness.

Renesmee, however, could break a shield such as this. Not with ease and not without pain, but she must get through. Passing through Bella's shield was simple enough. She could do that at will, had done it many times. Moira's shield, however, wasn't just a physical barrier. Moira was ripping atoms in two; it was nuclear fission on a molecular level. It nearly ripped her in half, but she breeched it, pulling Jacob behind in her.

Renesmee laid her hands as closely to Renata's form as she could and pulled on the threads that bound her to Aro. Renata stumbled, and Renesmee took advantage by cupping her brow between her palms and feeding her the disorientation of drunkenness she had come to know from drinking werewolf blood.

The momentary shift was enough for Renesmee grabbed her arm, and toss her into Sekhmet's ring of destruction. Jacob leapt and threw Aro off balance. Aro fell to Jacob's teeth, but fought back with the vehemence and skill born of ages of in such battles. Renesmee bore down on Renata, conjuring up primal instincts to twist the head of the shield right off her body. Renesmee turned with a start when she heard the wolf's anguished cry.

Aro held Jacob's limp body in his arms, his neck clearly snapped.

There was a mottle of screams and shouts, but Renesmee ears only echoed a high-pitch ring. Her mouth went dry and she fell to her knees. Aro tossed the wolf's body aside like throwing away an unwanted bit of refuse. Renesmee felt numb, even as she became aware the Aro was stalking her.

Carlisle shouted something, but she couldn't focus her undivided attention of Jacob's lifeless body to listen. Sekhmet shouted something back, and Ren felt a reverberation about her, like a wave of Moira's force had temporarily detracted, only to just as quickly be forced out again. From the corner of her eye, she saw Aro pounce. She knew it would be useless to put a fight. He was stronger. They all were stronger than her. She was the weakest, and Jacob was dead. And now, she didn't know why she should even try to fight anymore. She decided to relieve the pressure on her family to always be at her back, ready to defend her. She decided to alleviate their constant vigilance on her account, never failing to look around each corner to make sure the way was safe.

She decided to die.

She looked up at Aro with a defeated glance and held out her arms in a welcoming embrace. Seconds before he made contact with her, a flash of blond hair swept pass her. Carlisle pinned Aro to the ground, having leapt at him from a sufficient distance to secure him down.

"Carlisle, I can't hold out much longer," Moira shouted.

"Push away Renesmee," he demanded, not flinching a bit from the pressure he was using to hold down the ancient.

Mathias responded. "But, if you stay in the ring, you'll…"

"I know!" he interjected. "Just get her out."

Mathias broke from Moira's side and knelt down by Renesmee.

"GO!" he demanded, staring deeply into her eyes.

She felt the familiar wave of obligation that Mathias's power induced in her, but denied it. She did not want to continue. Jacob was dead.

Mathias's eyes became fervently intense, and his face screwed from the concentration.

"Renesmee Cullen," he addressed her, "get up, use your power to cross Moira's divide back to your family, and stay alive." He wetted his palate, and begged. "For me, please?"

He was intensifying his gift to the best of his ability, and she could feel the difference. She rose to her feet and began pacing the distance between her family and ring of frozen, screaming Volturi guard. She pushed through a hand, gasping in pain as the force of Moira's strength tore at her flesh.

"Hurry!" Mathias shouted from behind her.

She pushed through her hand and arm with determination. Edward reached out to clasp it and pull her the rest of the way through, throwing Renesmee into his and Bella's embrace. Edward knew they had to leave. Sekhmet was about to play her final card, and even Bella's shield might not be able to contain it.

"Carlise!" Esme shouted, desperately screeching.

He did not deviate from his position, but looked up at her with years of love written on his face.

"Take care of our family, Esme," he whispered. "I love you. All of you."

"You have to go NOW!" Moira shouted, pulling Mathias back to her and angling his chin to expose his pulsating jugular to her.

Edward saw her mind, saw how close they were coming to being taken up in the rapture. Emmett took Esme in his strong grip and carried her. She would not move of her own volition. Bella drug Renesmee beside her. They fled, running out into the pre-dawn streets of Volterra, towards the sunrise of their freedom.

{{}}

"This is going to hurt," Moira warned Mathias, tilting his head to the side. "I can't make it not hurt, but I'll try to make it not last long."

"Shut up and kill me, Moira," Mathias chuckled as he pressed the base of his neck into jaw. "I know that you can't hold them in place for much longer with your strength. Take my blood, and use it. It's always been yours to do with as you please."

She would wait no longer. What must be done, would be done. Her teeth bit in at the apex, and she pulled his life force with a vengeance, the reflection of ten years of wanton desire for this moment. His taste was divine, pure, bliss, sunny, and loving. He flowed down her throat like water in a bubbling brook, and instantly she felt the ability to flex her gift feel by mortal blood increase tenfold. She felt the last remnants of anucktumai nature come under her command. Anucktumai were poisonous to vampires. She could focus that poison through her venom-filled gift. Fueled by the Mathias's blood, she could kill them all.

Like a suicide bomb, because it would kill her too.

She pulled herself from Mathias when she felt she had had enough. His body fell in slump to the ground too weakened to support itself. She had hoped only that she had drained him enough for him to still hear her whisper one last goodbye. His heart pulsed weakly, but she was confident that he would not survive. She was surprised that he still had the strength to lift his trembling hand to her face and stroke her check. She was focusing all her power- anucktumai and vampire, and getting ready to release it. Had her heart just pounded, or was that the cries of the Volturi, some of whom she was beginning to pull apart at the seams?

"Brown eyes," Mathias muttered. "Just like she promised."

Moira smiled in the realization. Yes, jade eyes of the anucktumai. Red eyes of the blood-satiated vampire.

Green and red made brown.

"I love you, Mathias."

She kissed his lips one last time, the taste of his blood still lingering, focused all her strength, and released.

She left the world, clutching her reason for existence in her arms.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Renesmee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I moved like a ghost across the stage. I was a ghost; I was no longer of this world. I hadn't been since that day in Volterra. They may have saved my life that day, but I had been as good as dead since then.

How ironic then, as the valedictorian of the Bridgeport Academy graduating class, that it was my duty to step before a crowd of humans and deliver a speech meant to inspire their pointless pursuits. Inspire them towards what? No matter the effort, it was all in vain. They would die. Everyone would die.

Except me. Except my family. Afflicted by no mortal woe, we would live forever unless killed in battle. With the Volturi gone, and with our coven now the de facto advisory body to our world, who would battle us? Theses humans, however, would suffer their short mortal coils and dissolve in to an abyss of forgotten memories and unpaid bills.

Despite my best efforts, I scoffed as I approached the microphone. Edward shot me a warning glance across the auditorium, and that was completed by Bella's sympathetic gaze. The other Cullens merely sat as spectators, having left the school after Volterra. I needed the space, they said; space to be human, space to make my own mistakes (though they hoped none of the deadly variety). I was human. I was vampire.

I was both, owing allegiance to both worlds, and no longer caring for either.

I shuffled the note cards of my preapproved speech in my hands. The cards were for show- I knew the speech I was supposed to deliver forward and backward. Dad and Mom had helped me craft it over the last week, and the principal had approved the draft, with a few minor revisions, the last Friday. It was a collection of various credentialing quotes and highbrow metaphors, capped off with inspirational summaries and vacant clichés.

But that was not the speech I was going to give.

As I started to speak, I saw the principal's face flex into confusion, and Edward's glance turn curiously askew.

I took a deep breath and began. "I've never been friends with most of you. Actually, I've very rarely talked with any of you. I know I have a reputation for being introverted and perhaps even arrogant, and if there would ever be any fault you could rightly contribute to me, I would hope that failing to correct this interpretation is not one of them.

"The truth is this. When I first came to Bridgeport three years ago, I was in a difficult period of my life. I wondered ceaselessly what my place in this world or this life was. I was fortunate enough to be befriended by our belated teacher, Dr. Moira Arrashk, who taught me by example that my quandary was ill-conceived. She taught me that there is no one place in the world or life in which we belong. Rather, it is a myriad of experiences, some bitter and some sweet, combined with fortitude, compassion and sacrifice, that establishes the many paths we walk on simultaneously. I know about walking multiple paths." I saw Bella tense for a moment, wondering if I was about to reveal truths she rather I left unsaid. "You may not yet. Perhaps you think you know where your life is going, and you're certain that you'll get there. I want to tell you- you may not. But know that you only fail in any pursuit if you come away from the experience having learned nothing. Some say failure is not an option. I say, it is an opportunity. Learn from it. And grow from it. And carry on, as the Buddhist say, in joyful participation in the sorrows of the world. Thank you."

A few hours later, we pulled back up to our lonely house on Frenchman's Fork. Bella lingered in the car as the others got out, Edward staring straight forward in deep contemplation.

"That's not the speech we rehearsed."

I felt no need to defend myself, but I wouldn't concede a mistake either. "I know." And I waited for the berating lecture to ensue. Edward surprised me.

"It was better than the one we rehearsed."

My eyes shot up in surprise, meeting his warm smile and gracious eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Thanks."

Bella sighed in relief. "Agreed. Now, we have a little celebration set up inside, including your favorite- cherry gelato. So, come on."

I hesitated.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a little walk by myself first and clear my head," I said. They both looked at my curiously. "Look, you guys may have done the whole graduating from high school thing before, but this is my only first time, and I'd like to reflect on it a bit."

Bella nodded, tapping Edward on the arm as indication to let me have my way. As they went quickly into the house. I wandered leisurely through the forest making my way down towards the lake. In an odd twist from the norm, the sun peeked through the clouds. My skin gave off a subtle glow, but no one was out on the beach to witness it. I looked across the street to the two trees that I once had been shown as the example of my potential by a certain gypsy boy. "Same ground, same sun, maybe even the same parents, but different fates," he had said. "Still trying for the same goal, though. Still trying to reach for the sky. Like you and me. We're more alike than you realize. You think one of those trees cares that the other will be more than it ever is? No, it's not there to not be alone."

It did not escape my attention that the taller tree had died in the passing time, nor that the smaller one had grown to nearly the same height.

I picked up some pebbles in my hand and skipped them. Six bounces, sometimes seven. I was having an off day. I dropped the pebbles, sad on the beach, and stared at the lapping of small waves on the crest of the shore. Another stone skimmed along the surface of the water, getting a very impressive nine bounces before sinking beneath the surface. Realizing that Edward must have followed me after all, I sighed in frustration.

"I told you I needed to be alone for a while."

Another stone. Ten bounces. That was impressive, even for Edward.

"If you'd prefer to be by yourself, I'd understand."

The voice was familiar, almost intimate, but it had changed. It had deepened. It was more melancholy and musical.

But it was impossible.

He continued. "But I wish you wouldn't send me away, because I've been alone for far too long."

"Matthias?"

I spun around at a speed much too quick for public display, but I didn't care. I needed to see that I wasn't imaging it. But there he was, solid and real, and not a figment of my imagination. His eyes were downcast, staring at a spot a few feet in front of my position.

"Now, of course, I could command you to let me stay," he continued, "but I will never use my power in that way against you again. I hope in time, you'll let me earn back your trust."

"My trust?" I mouthed, almost feeling as though I were about to pass out. "You died for me, for us, and you're worried that I don't trust you? How is this possible? Are ghosts real?"

The corners of his mouth curl in their old familiar way. But he was different. He was paler, and yet- was there a slight hue radiating off him in the sun? Surely I was seeing things. "Death didn't quite stick the way it should have."

He looked up at me at last, and our eyes met. I stumbled backward in the shock. Gone were Mathias' entrancing river blue eyes, replaced instead with the glossy jade eyes of the Anucktumai.

Just like Moira's had been.

"How?" I gasped. "Why? Where have you… What happened…"

He crossed to me with unnatural speed and stood inches from me.

"You're… one of us?" I asked with uncertainty, though that he was no longer human was obvious.

His answer was unspoken. He took my right hand in his and laid it upon his chest, where I felt the heated pulse of a heart running much too fast under marmoreal flesh.

"Are we like them?" he asked. "No, we are unique. You and I much more similar to each other than to them. But what am I? I haven't quite figured it out yet. I'm something … different."

"Tell me," I begged, leading him back into across the road and into the cover of the forests. I followed without question or debate. "Tell me what happened."

"She didn't kill me," he responded stoically. "She withdrew just enough blood to be able to work her charm, then stopped. Was it because she didn't have time to drain me fully, or because some part of her hoped that I might live? I don't know. Probably she assumed I'd die. But Moira's venom, Ren, it was different from the others- mutated. It left me neither vampire nor human nor anucktumai, but somewhere between all three. And somehow, it protected me from the destruction. I woke up three days later in a hospital in Siena. I have no idea how I came to be there, or who had brought me. All I knew was that I could hear everything, and smell everything, and taste everyone on the air. I was so thirsty that I barely escaped without killing anyone. I returned to Serbia and I have lived there more or less alone for the last three years. When I felt I was finally in control enough to be able to sit on a plane and not kill the stewardess when she passed, I came to find you, to apologize."

"Apologize?" I stuttered, smiling at him sheepishly. "You laid down your fucking life for me. What in hell would you have to apologize for?"

"Don't cuss, Ren."

"Don't cuss?" I asked. "I'll ffff…. I'll say any god daaa… da….d…d.d.. Oh sh…"

His power had indeed grown undeniably strong.

"Sorry, I'm still learning to be careful with my words," he stated. "And that's not the apology to which I was referring. I came to apologize for Jacob."

The mere mention of his name brought the tears to my eyes instantly. I had thought repeatedly about Jacob over the past three years, replaying every scenario in my head, trying to determine if I could have changed fate if I had taken one step left or one step right. I would, of course, never know. I had found a way to deal with the events that had happened, a way to understand it in a context that didn't leave me wracked with guilt and despair.

"Jacob imprinted on me," I told Mathias. "That obliged him to do whatever necessary to protect me, to be whatever I needed from him. When I was a child, he was my playmate. When I was adolescent, he was my outlet when I thought my parents were being unfair. When I was killer, he was the one who took to the fall. When I was a lonely love-struck teen, he was my lover. And when I was the object of an ancient's wrath, Jacob became my sacrificial lamb. He died in my place, Mathias, and there is nothing for you to apologize over that. But I…" I paused. "I am sorry that you lost Moira and your humanity because of me. And just when you had realized your love for her."

"She had always loved me, I came to realize," he said quietly. "In those last few days, I was able to reciprocate that. But Ren, things for me have not changed. I have not lost my faith in fate over the years, but I have questioned it relentlessly. I kept thinking- what was the point? It drove me so hard to you, only to lose you to Jacob. And then it swung me almost instantly to Moira, only to lose her almost immediately. So, I thought, why? I think I finally figured it out."

"Yes?" I asked, my breath hitching hoping he had reached in his deliberation the same conclusion I was suddenly drawing to myself. "What did you figure out?"

"It was a process," he answered. "I needed to be Moira's, to walk this road in between worlds, so that I could walk it with you. She never would have taken me if she didn't love me so much, and I never would have sacrificed myself if I hadn't thought it was her plan. She preserved me –for you. Just like Jacob preserved you- for me. That is, if you'll have me?"

There was something odd and wrong and sweet and natural and all together confusing and certain in the idea of Mathias and me. A million conflicting but confirming thoughts passed through my mind. The numbness of three years melted away in moment, and I threw myself into his arms, kissing him fervently, passionately, breathlessly.

"I'll have you," I answered him as I backed him against a tree and ravaged his neck with hungry kisses and his hands slide down to my hips, yanking at the waistline of my jeans. "I'll have you in whatever way you need me."

We made love under the forest canopy, two immortal hearts beating angrily in the throes of passion. He was my equal. He was my partner. He was destiny. He was my fate.

And Jacob? I would always love Jacob. I would never forget Jacob. But Jacob had sacrificed himself so that I might live. Should I squander his sacrifice- crawl into a ball and refuse to continue on? Jacob would want me to be happy. Jacob would want me to be content.

Mathias would make me happy.

Jacob sacrificed himself so that I might live, and I would not deny him the benefit of that sacrifice.

End Notes:

Thanks for the ride, guys. It's been a blast. -HW