WARNING: This is a parody of My Immortal. The following work of fiction is not meant to be taken seriously. But then again, it's not like My Immortal was ever taken seriously to begin with.

Harry Potter and characters (C) J.K. Rowling. My Immortal and characters (C) Tara Gilesbie.

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 Which would be really gud 4 me, becuz I just luv graverobbin! im not picky, Ill scroo any1, no mattur wut teh age! ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 ...Okay, I just made up a name out of random letterz, but still, UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111 and tell teh people in england when they r gonna put a hot topic in there, so i dont look like a liar!

I loked around in a depresed way. In other words, I showed strong affection for someone or something, even more so than liking that someone or something. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister / Trevolry. B'lody Mary, Socrates (the famous Greek philosopher) and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to, or is it "where they're too" or "wear there two"? I'm having a lot of trouble with homophones!

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 Okay, well I didn't really see everyone... I didn't see Quirell for instance. I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b Snape!111111 And that he uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Serious said sadly. "And by the way, I really did mean yah, even though the last sentence makes me undecided about whether I agree or disagree with you. Shouldn't Tara have written 'I know' instead of 'I no'?"

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry / Sinister said in an emo voice which Tara will actually admit is emo dirnking some Vitameatavegevolxemortseromin... and trying to pronounce the name correctly.

Hi fuker." I said without the opening quotation mark. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date... and I need to know how to play the cornet if he's going to make me play one. Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too. By the way, I wonder if I can play the cornet in my gothic band... perhaps I can play it better than I play guitar, right?"

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik... I SAID SHES GOFIK! LAUGH! WHY ARENT YOU LAUGHING? LAUGH GODDAMMIT LAUGH!) gasped B'lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit even tho Hot Topik is nowhere to be found in England?"

"OMFS, which is short for oral and maxillofacial surgery! Also letz have a groop kutting session, since that is one of Tara's favorite pastimes!11" said Profesor Trevolry / Sinister/ whoever.

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow. "We can get some adding machines and some abacuses, that will help with our sums, right?"

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry / Sinister / whoever so she wont be adikted 2 Vitameatavegevolxemortserumin anymore even though with a name like that it has to be addictive, nd also... sum luv potion 4 Enoby, because she'll kill me if she dies a virgin at the end of the story." Darko said resultantly, a word which may have been pretentiously used in the fanfic to make the readers think Tara actually does know a lot of big words.

"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let's go, and who cares that it's not in quotation marks?

We went sexily to Potionz class, and it's surprising to think someone actually associates potions with sex! But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was... Cornelio Fuck!11111 Who while glad he is now a guy again, is angry that his last name is changed to a swear word for no reason.

"Hey where the fuck, pardon the pun, is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck, who is now female again. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin, though Dumblydore doesn't sound like an Azkhabian name he is old and week he has kancer he has alzheimers he has herpes he has something and I don't know why there aren't enough commas. "Now do ur work while I tell Tara not to put a random quote mark in my paragraph for no reason!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be Snape!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.

"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK, NOW A DUDE, SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE PROFESOR RUMBRIDGE!111 I MEAN, UMBRIDGE."

He stomped out angrily, and refused to come back until Tara gets his gender right.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer, which is hard to do while talking at the same time. Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard... I said cupboard, not closet. What, did you think I was going to make him randomly gay for no reason?

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva, which of course had nothing to do with Hargrid at all. It was just written because Tara wanted to write how sexy Draco is when he was distorted to look like Gerard Way. Suddenly... "HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING INTERRUPTING TARA'S FANTASY!11" he shooted.

I looked around... Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 I hope it's something that'll make the blood taste better so that I can continue binging on it! Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily, because students randomly picking on a teacher for no reason always turns me on!

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid like the pot calling the kettle black. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was... Amnesia Portion!111 Or rather a portion of it, because it probably won't have the full effects of a full bottle of Amnesia Potion. I hope Tara remembers all of this!