Part Thirty Six: Phases

The day started in a shower of sparks as his mutinous alarm clock once again decided to commit suicide. Of course suicide was probably preferable to the fate he imagined for it as it dragged him from the world of slumber.

Dragging himself to his shower Xander mentally prepared himself for another day of teachers talking down to him, and Willow going on about the wonderful Malcolm Black. Oh, the endless joy that is high school.

Ah gym, the perfect example of how all gods are vindictive and cruel, no matter what their publicist says. Okay so the proof wasn't gym itself, but the bruises that resulted from said class should classify as physical proof.

As he leaned against the wall Xander silently willed the pain to go away. In his opinion he got more than enough injuries during patrol with Buffy, and didn't deserve any when the sun was still out.

Concentrating to move past the pain wasn't anything new to Xander, he had way too much practice, but today the result was different. Today as he rubbed his aching arms and legs he stumbled backwards through the wall he was leaning on.

When he finally regained his balance he found himself surrounded by four metallic walls. A normal person would have been slightly confused by his new surroundings, but they were all too familiar to him.

Turning around was a great deal of effort, but well worth it. He was definitely trapped in a locker, and it was a locker in the woman's locker room. The dream of every high school male, and it was happening to him.

As the bell rang and the girls began to pour into the locker room to get ready for gym Xander felt a brief moment of guilt that was quickly swallowed by rampaging teenage hormones. These same hormones triggered what had allowed this miracle to happen, and Xander found himself falling through the floor before one shirt could be removed.

Xander swam through a sea of stone and cement with little sense of up or down. Soon air became an issue, but when he attempted to take a breath nothing filled his lungs. Frantically swimming in the direction he hoped was up Xander silently prayed that he would reach the surface before he lost conciseness, or worse, turned solid.

Soon Xander exploded through the ground, took a deep breath into his burning lungs, and looked directly at the shoes of the school librarian. A librarian that dropped his tea onto Xanders now solid head.

"Good Lord Xander, what happened to your clothes?" sputtered Giles.

One embarrassing hours later Xander returned to the library in his own clothes, and not the ones Giles had lent him. Of course by the look in Giles' eyes he would have to explain, and that could be just as embarrassing.

"So are you going to inform me on just how you managed to rise up from the library floor without a stitch of clothing or am I going to break out the ingredients for a truth spell?" asked Giles.

Xander recounted every moment of his rather short impersonation of a ghost, not leaving any detail out. Okay the whole girl locker room was more than a bit embarrassing in retrospect, but it was almost worth it to see Giles get agitated.

"I suggest that you omit that particular part when you relate this story to Buffy and Willow," said Giles as he cleaned his glasses.

"Don't worry G-man, even I have better survival instincts than that," said with a shrug.

"Well I must say that if it turns out that this power isn't somehow demonic or evil in nature they may be of some significant use in the future," said Giles.

"Oh yeah, being able to go from clothed to naked in half a second is going to be really useful against vampires," said Xander in a sarcastic tone.

"I was thinking more along the lines of spying actually. If you can learn to control your powers you could go anywhere at no risk to yourself, a very valuable talent when one is attempting to assess the measure of enemy forces," said Giles.

Any response Xander would have had was cut off when Buffy stormed into the library ranting about how something was very wrong with Willows new cyber boyfriend.

In many universes the role of Xander Harris in the battle against Moloch ended in a negligent backhand. However in this particular world that backhand was the entire fight because as Moloch's hand sped toward Xander a newfound survival instinct kicked in and he went intangible. After his hand when through Xanders phased head Moloch's body began to snap and sputter.

When the smoke began to billow out from the torso Xander said, "Uh, I think we should start running now."

"No, I need to see this," said Willow from where she leaned on Buffy's arm.

"Can't we see it from a safer distance?" asked Xander right before the robotic body of Moloch the Corrupter fell apart.

"This is safe enough," responded Willow as she watched bouts of flame occasionally erupt in the body.

"Wow, reminds me of the time I tried to make soup at your house," said Xander.

"There's less noodles and chicken this time," said Willow with a grin.

"What's this now?" asked a confused Buffy.

"When we were five Jesse got a really bad cold so Willow and I decided to make him some chicken noodle soup. Of course being five we also thought it would be a good idea to just stick the can into the microwave and press the buttons until it was ready to eat," said Xander.

"Microwave go boom?" asked Buffy.

"Microwave and can go boom," said Willow with a sage nod. "We didn't know how to use a can opener back then either."

"You know as nice a memory as that is I'm a bit more curious about why Moloch's fist passed through Xanders' head, and if it doesn't also contain an explanation on why I found his gym clothes in my gym locker today there may still be some slayage tonight," said Buffy as she pined him with the look females had used to intimidate males since the stone age.

"Oh crap," muttered Xander as Willow also turned the look on him. "I don't suppose you girls would believe a story that involved demonic garden gnomes would you?"