Chapter Thirty Six
With Arms Wide Open
Meredith had to say that she wasn't surprised with the news about C.J. However, Derek was still in denial about the whole situation. He insisted that his son was fine and there was nothing wrong with him. To clear his head, he left without saying good-bye to his family. Meredith wanted to go with him to make sure he was okay, but she knew she couldn't. "I'll talk to him," Mark offered before he followed his best friend out of the room.
Mark followed him into the hallway and over to the elevators. Derek didn't even look at him as he spoke. "Mark, I don't want to talk to anybody right now." Mark was about to respond when Derek didn't let him interrupt. "You don't know what I'm feeling. You have a healthy son."
Mark gave him a look. "You have a healthy son too. C.J. just has problems socializing with other people and needs help with it. That's all. You didn't see the signs because he always played by himself while Katie and Morgan played with each other. And you always thought he was just shy like Morgan was before Katie came around." The elevator doors opened and Derek stepped inside. "It's not your fault," Mark insisted, but looking at his friend made him realize that he wasn't listening. He watched helplessly as the doors closed and Derek disappeared from sight.
Mark let out a heavy sigh as he realized that he wasn't going to get through to him. Of course, he couldn't blame him for being in denial. If he had found out that there was something wrong with his son, he wouldn't have believed it either. Then again, it was still speculation. It hasn't been confirmed, but he had to admit that he had noticed that C.J.'s behavior was different than his sisters. Like the others, he didn't know if his behavior pertained to becoming a big brother or not.
"Mark, are you okay?" a familiar voice asked, snapping him out of his daydream. Mark turned to see his wife pushing the stroller over to him. "Were you able to talk to Derek?"
Mark shook his head as he looked down at his sleeping son. "I tried, but he didn't want to listen to me. I don't blame him though. How would you feel if you were told that Ben was dyslexic or has another challenge that made him slower than the other kids?"
"I would do everything I could to prove the doctors wrong," Lexie admitted. "And when that doesn't work, I would have to accept that my son was different than the other kids and find out how to deal with it." Mark nodded in agreement. "Do you think Derek will be okay? Meredith's really worried about him."
"Derek will be fine," Mark assured her. "He just needs some time to cool down. Then he will come back and deal with it." He then changed the subject. "Now are we just taking Ben home? What about the other kids? Are they staying with their aunts? Or are Owen and Cristina taking them for the night?"
"They're trying to work that out now," Lexie replied. "But Meredith told me that we didn't have to watch them. Now are you sure you don't want to go after Derek?"
Before he could answer, they heard a commotion down the hall. From what they could hear, it was coming from the lounge. Mark told Lexie to stay there and he would see what was going on. He didn't even reach the room before he saw Cristina pushing Meredith towards the elevator, trying her best to take deep breaths, but the pain was too much. Cristina asked before her best friend could. "Where the hell is Derek? Meredith's in labor."
"What?" Mark exclaimed before he realized that there were no time for questions. "I'll go and see if I can find him."
"Tell him to hurry," Meredith called after him. She had hoped that the pain she had been experiencing was just false labor, but then her water had broken shortly after Derek had left the lounge. The fears of losing the babies started to return as Cristina continued to wheel her up to the elevators. However, she didn't want to voice her concerns before Derek was there with her.
Meredith was soon lying on a bed with Cristina by her side while Dr. Fields checked to see how far along she was. "It's too soon," she moaned as she felt another contraction. "And Derek's not here. I can't do this with him. I shouldn't do this without him."
"You're not going to," Cristina assured her before she turned to Dr. Fields. "Derek does have time to get here before she delivers the twins, right?" She didn't let the doctor answer. "You know what? Forget it. I'll make sure that he gets here in time."
"Would you check on the kids while you're at it?" Meredith requested. "I'm afraid I might have scared Morgan. And get me some ice chips. I need ice chips." Cristina nodded before she hurried out of the room. Meredith then turned to Dr. Fields. "Give it to me straight. How long do I have before I have to deliver the twins?"
"You and I both know that it varies with each pregnancy," Dr. Fields reminded her. "But it looks like your babies are willing to wait for their daddy before they come out. Now I know you've had preeclampsia before with Morgan so we'll keep a close eye on you and the babies to make sure that doesn't happen again."
Meredith was doubtful that she would be able to have a natural birth, but the babies were doing well. She was disappointed when Dr. Fields left her and still wasn't happy when Cristina returned with the ice chips. Her best friend didn't even have a chance to respond before Meredith spoke. "Has Derek showed up yet?"
"No, but I brought you ice chips," Cristina replied, trying to cheer her up. "And I saw the kids. Your crazy sister-in-law is taking care of them while Lexie is taking the boys home. And everyone left messages on Derek's cell-phone, but he's not answering."
"What about Addison?" Meredith asked as another contraction came along and she squeezed Cristina's hand tightly. She did her best to speak as the contraction continued. "Did anyone think of calling her and seeing if he is with her?"
"Let me handle finding Derek," Cristina said, ignoring her question. She didn't want her friend to get too stressed out before delivery. "You just focus on keeping those babies where they are until I can get Derek here."
"I can try, but these babies might have other ideas," Meredith replied as the pain subsided. "Ok, that one is over. Cristina, I need you to do something for me if Derek doesn't make it back in time." Cristina knew what she was planning to say and tried to interrupt her, but Meredith didn't let her. She had said this several times over the last eight months and she wanted to say it one final time. "You and I both know that I will probably get preeclampsia again. If that does happen and there's a choice between saving me or the babies, I want you tell Dr. Fields to save the babies."
"Meredith, nothing is going to happen to you or your babies," Cristina insisted. "You and McDreamy are going to raise your five children together."
"If that's true, then where's Derek?" Meredith asked her. "Why isn't he here?" She knew that she couldn't get the answer from Cristina, but she felt like she had to ask anyway.
A couple of hours later, there was still no Derek. Meredith was getting worried since nobody had been able to contact him, not even Addison. She wasn't happy that Lizzie had told Derek about C.J. without her being present since she was his parent too. However, the sisters quickly had to remind her that that wasn't the issue right now. The issue was trying to find Derek in time to see his babies being delivered.
Meredith found out that the labor had progressed so much that she was now ready to deliver. The first baby was in the perfect position for her to be able to push the baby out without having a C-section. However, Meredith was adamant about waiting for Derek. He was the father. He deserved to see the birth of his children.
Dr. Fields understood Meredith's reasoning. However, there was one problem and it was a big one. "Meredith, I'm afraid that you don't have a choice," she said. "Your baby is ready to come out."
Meredith was about to respond when she heard a familiar voice. "I'm so sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?" Derek asked as he came into the room. He kissed his wife as Dr. Fields told him that he was just in time. Meredith gave him a questionable look. Derek knew he owned her an explanation, but it wasn't the right time. "Let's just say that I've learned from my past mistakes and realized that I'm needed here."
It was a vague answer and Meredith hoped that he would elaborate on it later. Now was the time to get ready and welcome their babies into the world. Derek and Cristina each took a side and Meredith squeezed their hands as Dr. Fields ordered her to push.
That's when things started to go wrong and Meredith was forced to have a C-section. Just a short time later, Abigail Joy Shepherd and Nicholas Gabriel Shepherd were born. Despite being born a month early, both twins were doing well in the NICU. It was a relief to the new parents since Meredith was so worried that history would repeat itself.
When Meredith held her babies for the first time, it made her realize how crazy she was to think about having an abortion. They were only hours old and they had already brought so much joy and love to their family. Morgan and Katie couldn't get enough of them. Even C.J. was warming up to them. Meredith couldn't wait to see them grow up with their big sisters and brother.
"You know, I think Abbey looks like Katie when she was born," Lizzie noted as she held her new niece. She and Amy were visiting Meredith and the babies while the older children were with their other aunts.
"Now you just need another boy to even the pack," Amy added, rocking Nicky in her arms. Before Derek could respond, Amy didn't let him interrupt. "I know you guys claim that you are done with these two, but C.J. and Nicky deserve to have another brother to help handle their sisters. How else will you be able to keep their boyfriends away?"
Derek turned to his wife with an amused look on his face. "You know she has a good point."
Meredith smiled back at him. "I would love another baby if I knew that there was a chance that we wouldn't end up with twins again," she replied. "But I'm just glad that those two are healthy."
However, she still was curious to know where Derek was before he showed up. After a long day with family members and former coworkers visiting the babies, Meredith was glad when it was just her and Derek after the twins had been brought back to the nursery. Derek knew that his wife wanted to talk, but he wasn't sure if she should hear it.
"Derek, what really happened during those couple hours when you were missing and we couldn't get hold of you?" Meredith asked him.
Derek was quiet as Meredith gave him a pleading look. He let out a heavy sigh before he spoke. "I'm so sorry I left you. After hearing the news about C.J., I couldn't take it anymore." Meredith just listened quietly as he took her hand in his. "I never saw it coming. I thought I was a terrible parent for not seeing that there was something wrong with my kid. I thought if I screwed up with C.J., I wouldn't be able to handle it with the others. So I thought of a solution before realizing it was the wrong one." Meredith couldn't believe her ears. "I was being selfish again and I wasn't thinking of you or the children. I made a promise to you and Morgan and I'm going to keep that promise." Meredith nodded in agreement, but they both knew that it was going to be a rough road ahead.