Author's Note: I added a note to my profile, but I wanted to mention here as well the source of the updated thumbnail for the story. I've been looking for a good picture of Tenten to replace my generic profile image, but the only ones I really liked were from the actual anime. That changed when linnyxito of Deviantart added Tenten to her amazing Naruto Battlefield series. FFnet will eat the link if I try to put it here, but I encourage you to check out the link in my profile, there's a bunch of other character portraits (eight of the Konoha Twelve plus Gaara and Jiraiya so far) in the series and they're all really good.

Chapter 36: Do No Harm

Uchiha Amaya stood outside the closed door for several minutes before she knocked. She didn't want to be there, but it seemed she truly had no choice. Sasuke hadn't been pleased when he found out Kakashi had ended her training, but he hadn't been willing to override his former teacher. Instead, Amaya found her clan head adding his order to Kakashi's, which brought her to the door she stood outside.

"Come in," a light, pleasant female voice replied from inside immediately. Sighing, Amaya opened the door and entered.

Unlike most ANBU facilities, the health center was both above ground and had windows. The office Amaya entered was well-lit through its south-facing windows. A low table with cushions around it appeared to function as a desk, while the walls were lined with bookshelves, filing cabinets and an interesting piece of sculpture on a pedestal that caught Amaya's eye; it was an eagle perched on a branch, both carved from a single piece of black stone that had crimson streaks running through it.

"I can always tell when people recognize that by how long they look at it," the room's occupant observed.

Amaya turned to the beautiful long haired blonde in a purple kimono sitting at the table with her back to the window. She knew Yamanaka Ino by reputation only, as the heir to her clan and one of Tenten-sensei's friends. "I can imagine," Amaya replied. "Most people probably wouldn't recognize inferno marble, but the ones that do would wonder who you had to kill to get a piece that size." Inferno marble was rare, existing in a single quarry deep in the Land of Demons. Its namesake came from its origins; long ago one of the malignant entities – lesser kin of the bijuu – that gave that country its name had been slain and its blood had seeped into a marble deposit, turning the stone black and red. It was beautiful enough that its rarity had created a high demand for art incorporating the stone, and the Land of Demons' strict export limits only increased its value outside of that nation's borders.

Ino laughed at that. "It was a gift from the daimyo of that country, actually."

"You must have done something extraordinary for him."

Ino shrugged. "Someone was poisoning his son. I found out who it was. He was grateful." Ino favored Amaya with a dazzling smile. "We haven't met I believe, but I feel like I know you as much as Tenten's gushed about her prize pupil over the years. Please, have a seat."

Amaya sat down. "So I'm here. Now what can I do to convince you that there's nothing wrong with me? I need to get back to my training."

Ino studied Amaya. "For starters, it would have to be true," the blonde replied.

"There isn't anything wrong with me. Kakashi's just a prick."

"Hatake Kakashi is a prick," Ino agreed. "He is not, however, a fool or unobservant. The fact that he still draws breath after three decades of doing the most dangerous jobs a shinobi can undertake is ample evidence of that."

Ino placed her hand on a slim folder on the table before her. "I received Kakashi's training notes when you were assigned to me, but even if I didn't have them, I can see from here that you are not all right." Ino raised a hand to forestall Amaya's protest. "That's nothing wrong with that, by the way. If you were perfectly adjusted after what you just went through I'd be far more worried."

"I am sick of people saying that!" Amaya burst out. "I am sick of being treated like a victim, or like I'm made of blown glass. I was raped, it's over now and I'd like to move on with my life. That Toma bitch didn't break me, but everyone seems to think she did!"

Ino listened calmly as Amaya's tirade wore down and let the silence stretch in its aftermath. "I don't think you're 'broken'. I do think you're hurt, however, and you're choosing to ignore your injury."

"There is nothing wrong with me," Amaya said through gritted teeth. She considered it an accomplishment that she delivered that statement at a normal volume when she wanted to shout it at the infernally calm blonde, Hatake Kakashi and everyone else who had been tiptoeing about her since she got home.

"Tell me something," Ino replied calmly. "If this woman who supervised your captivity, this Kusana, had broken your legs, would you refuse a medic's care in splinting them? Would you insist on running on them before they healed?"

"No, of course not," Amaya replied, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "But she didn't do that. I'm fine. Nothing worse than some bruises and minor burns."

"When I'm assigned a patient, I'm given a copy of their file. Yours includes your debriefing when you returned. I can't claim to fully understand what you experienced, but I am an expert on the human mind, and I understand how it is wounded very well."

Amaya resisted the urge to growl and settled for a put-upon sigh. "Your great expertise tells you my mind is wounded?"

"It does."

"So you're reading my mind, then?" Fuck you, Amaya added mentally.

Ino shook her head. "No, nor will I do so without your permission. Amaya, my role here is to help you. I'm not your adversary."

"Fine; if you want to help me then tell Kakashi I'm ok so I can get back to my training and become strong enough to kill my enemies."

"Are we speaking now of the Toma, or Akatsuki and the renegades of Kirigakure?" Ino inquired.

"Take your pick," Amaya shot back.

"I see." Ino looked at Amaya seriously. "So it's your assertion that you've suffered no lasting trauma from your experiences in the Land of Earth?"

"Yes, exactly."

"Take off your hitai-ate please," Ino asked.

Amaya gave the blonde a sour look. "Why am I even talking if you already know everything about me?" Still, it was a direct order, so she slipped the metal plate on a cloth band over her head. Ino looked at her forehead, and Amaya knew what she was seeing; she'd looked at it in a mirror often enough in the last few months.

Amaya had assumed that Konohagakure's medics could get rid of the vile brand that Toma Kusana had burned into her forehead, but apparently that wasn't so easily done. She hadn't understood all the medical jargon in the explanation, but what it boiled down to was that the brand had been made of a special metal that had left near-microscopic fragments of itself in the wound that had migrated deeper and bonded to her skull. Even removing the skin and healing it wouldn't erase the mark; it would reform within days. The only treatment the medics could offer would be to abrade away the top layers of bone above her eyes, and that would end her career. Shinobi wore the hitai-ate for more than just identification. If the next blow to her compromised skull could break it she'd be removed from active duty.

"Most people, even most shinobi, wouldn't be fine after having something like that done to them."

"I'm handling it. It's no worse than what a Hyuuga with the wrong parents has to deal with," Amaya replied.

"Don't get me started on the psychological issues there," Ino muttered. "So you've had no nightmares since returning? You haven't experienced intense or unexpected emotions that cannot be readily ascribed to your current situation? You haven't found yourself losing control of your temper more frequently than in the past, or experienced physiological symptoms like muscle tremors?"

Amaya scowled, resisting the urge to hug herself or shiver. She rarely slept through the night, and counted it a blessing that she now had a house to herself and no neighbors close enough to hear when she woke up screaming. She couldn't sleep without a kunai in hand, and her fingers ached in the morning from gripping it.

When she wasn't dreaming about being blind and helpless and alone, her mind conjured terrifying specters of Akatsuki and Mist nin killing everyone she loved. Sometimes it was members of her clan. Other times it was Tenten-sensei, Kaede, Kiran and Ken dying while she tried to run to them without ever closing the distance.

"Everyone has nightmares," Amaya replied cautiously, wary of trying to lie outright to a woman she knew was an interrogator as well as a psychiatrist. "As to the rest, I went through everything with the Toma and then I got home to find out my whole family was slaughtered. Am I supposed to be calm after all that?"

Ino just studied her instead of replying immediately, and the feeling of being analyzed made Amaya's irritation spike. She realized one of her hands had curled into a fist, and forced it to relax. The blonde leaned back after a little while. "It's true, everyone does have nightmares," Ino replied at last. "What have yours been about recently? Are they still about arriving for an exam at the Academy and realizing you haven't studied? Or sitting up in class and realizing your clothes are gone?"

Amaya had to look away, unable to meet Ino's penetrating gaze. "No… not like that."

"Would I be wrong if I guessed that they now revolve around your recent experiences and losses?"

When Amaya said nothing, Ino leaned forward. "How often have you had flashbacks while you were awake?"

Amaya couldn't fully conceal her surprise, her gaze whipping back to Ino as her eyes went wide. She hadn't told anyone about that, not even Sasuke. Three times in the last two months she'd had a panicked sensation of being trapped, hemmed in, unable to escape. It had happened twice in the tunnels of the ANBU base and once in a tiny restaurant restroom. Each time she'd had to find a more open space above ground before her chest stopped feeling tight and her heart stopped hammering.

Amaya winced when Ino nodded thoughtfully at her reaction. "You have." It wasn't a question.

"It's not like that," Amaya said defensively. "Just…"

"Go on," Ino urged her, "Describe them to me."

Admitting defeat, Amaya went into more detail, which led to questions about her dreams. As much as she'd come into the session not wanting to admit anything to Ino, the blonde just seemed to draw more words out of her, often without saying anything at all.

"What you're experiencing is not unique, Amaya. It's called post-traumatic stress, and it would surprise you to know how many shinobi experience it once or more in their lives after a serious injury or sexual assault."

Amaya's eyes narrowed. She'd heard the term before, usually applied to shinobi who dropped off of active duty abruptly. Her grandfather Taka had told her before that those were the shinobi who 'couldn't cut it' and were unfit to wear Konohagakure's hitai-ate. If that was the conclusion Ino had drawn she needed to fix this quickly. "You're wrong. I haven't cracked up. I can handle what happened."

Ino sighed. "Amaya…"

"Look, it's not true. Whatever you think's wrong with me it's not a problem. I have it under control."

"Amaya…" Ino started again.

"Please, you can't find me unfit for duty," Amaya pleaded. "I need to continue my ANBU training; it's not just about getting stronger, this job's the only thing keeping me out of the CRB's hands."

"Stop," Ino said seriously. "Amaya, is that why you think you're here?"

"Isn't it?"

"Kami, no," Ino exclaimed. "Kakashi doesn't waste my time with washouts from the ANBU program; he sends me the ones he thinks can be salvaged. If you were irrecoverable Kakashi would have kicked you out himself. I see I've been going about this the wrong way. I thought you understood why you were here."

Ino paused to collect her thoughts. "If the Toma had broken your bones, or damaged your organs, you'd be taken care of by a medic until you were healed. But they didn't do that, instead they tried to destroy your mind. They failed, but that doesn't mean they didn't injure you. You're here because my specialty is healing the wounds that don't show on the outside. So that's what I'm going to do, and then you'll be right back to your training."

"Oh," Amaya said, feeling her cheeks heat up. "I'm sorry, I…"

Ino smiled. "Don't apologize. I should have realized Kakashi wouldn't waste words explaining why he sent you here."

"So… you can get rid of the nightmares?" Amaya asked hopefully.

"Not exactly; I'm going to help you recover from and deal with the post-traumatic stress on your own."

"Then you're not going to…" Amaya waved a hand vaguely.

"Enter your mind? No. I could edit your subconscious to mitigate the nightmares, but that would only be treating a symptom while leaving the underlying cause unaddressed."

Amaya took a deep breath. "Okay. Where do we start?"

"Have you talked to anyone about your experiences?"

Amaya nodded. "I reported to Sasuke and then the folks from the Hokage's office who debriefed us when we got back."

"I didn't mean 'who have you described your experience to', I meant who have you talked to about it? How you felt, how you feel now."

Amaya remembered Hanabi's offer over a campfire, but the wound had been too raw then. "No one," she admitted. "My grandmother's dead along with all my other relatives and talking to Tenten-sensei or Kaede about it would be…" she sighed. "I don't want them to know everything. I don't want them to look at me differently."

"I understand," Ino said with a smile. "My friends call me a chatterbox with some justification, but I know how to listen too. Why don't we start there?"

Sharing the best seating in the temple with the Hyuuga elders as well as the Hokage and his wife, Tenten watched Neji enter slowly with Hinata on his arm. Despite being only a year apart in age, in the absence of the bride's father it fell to the clan head to escort her on this day. Hinata looked even lovelier than usual, attendants having spent most of the morning dressing, painting and primping her. Unlike Tenten at her wedding they had painted Hinata white and she was the very picture of an elegant, traditional bride.

Standing next to the temple priest, Namikaze Naruto cut a dashing figure in formal black. He was not a man who could ever look gentle or kind, but there was something different in his softly glowing red eyes that Tenten hadn't seen before; curiosity, perhaps. Naruto was keeping a tight leash on his bijuu's chakra emanations, and Tenten had learned enough about the Nine-Tailed Fox to know that doing so wasn't easy for Naruto. He'd done it so rarely in the past that she'd assumed he simply lacked the focus and willpower, but he'd been suppressing his demon chakra in Hinata's presence for months, often for hours at a time. It reminded Tenten that as much as she disliked Naruto, she couldn't afford to underestimate him.

When Naruto took Hinata's hand from Neji, Tenten saw the same hesitant care he'd displayed towards her sister-in-law since the day he'd refused to allow her to be marked with the Caged Bird seal. She struggled to reconcile this Naruto with the man who had abused Sakura and then disfigured her when she tried to escape him. It was difficult. Tenten knew that Naruto was Orochimaru's creature, and an enemy that the Akatsuki would have to overcome on the path to freeing Konohagakure. At the same time she couldn't help but hope that his transformation was genuine. Hinata deserved far better than a demon-ridden rapist, but since Naruto was who she had, it was easier to hope that he truly had matured since his days as a genin.

Seeing Orochimaru smile without an accompanying aura of menace was almost as unsettling. Tenten could accept that Anko was human enough to be genuinely happy and even slightly teary at her adopted son's wedding, but ascribing to the Hokage an emotion like affection for the jinchuuriki he'd raised from infancy as Konohagakure's weapon was difficult to accept. Still, observing him through the ceremony and the reception that followed Tenten had to admit that if it was a mask, it was a damned good one.

When the banquet had ended, the bride and groom departed together. They weren't travelling as far as Neji and Tenten had, only to their new residence nearby. When Naruto had offered to join the Hyuuga clan to keep Hinata unsealed, Orochimaru had not been happy with the decision but had accepted his son's choice eventually.

The Hokage had, however, held out for a separate residence for his son. He argued, not without merit, that Naruto's work on the village's behalf often involved documents and projects that were not the purview of the Hyuuga or any clan and living in the compound would cause difficulties in carrying out his duties.

This had caused some wrangling back and forth between the Hokage and the Hyuuga elders, but to everyone's surprise Naruto and Neji had arrived at a compromise solution acceptable to all parties. Neji had purchased some land adjacent to the Hyuuga compound that had come up for sale, and Naruto had financed construction of a sizeable residence for himself and Hinata there, complete with a foundation and walls of imported stone from the Land of Wind that was laced with chakra and thus impossible for the byakugan to penetrate.

Tenten watched Hinata and her new husband disappear into their new home, and wished her sister-in-law well, hoping to shed the sense of foreboding that refused to leave her entirely.

There was a knock at the bedroom door, and Hinata looked up from where she sat on the bed. It had been a long day, nervous and exhausting. She'd just finished changing into a robe of thin silk Ino had picked out for her at a boutique. "May I come in?" Naruto inquired.

"O-of course," Hinata replied to Naruto's query, cursing her stutter. She'd mostly gotten past it when talking to Naruto over the last several months, but this was… different. Tonight she became his wife in truth, and she couldn't help being a little anxious about it. Unlike her friends Tenten and Ino, her station had prevented her from engaging in the casual relationships most other kunoichi pursued, being among the rare female members of their society that were free to choose partners and engage in short-lived dalliances. Growing up the heir to the Hyuuga had denied Hinata the opportunity to have those experiences, and while she for the most part hadn't had any objections to remaining chaste, with her husband outside her door she was keenly aware of her lack of knowledge.

The door slid open and Naruto entered, dressed in nightclothes of dark cloth. "So, what do you think of this place? Does it feel like it could be home?" They'd spent the evening together touring the house, which had just been completed. It was a lovely, elegant building that fit in well with the neighboring Hyuuga compound, and Hinata was impressed with the detail that had gone into its construction and decoration.

"It already is my home," Hinata replied automatically, because it was the only correct answer. She was married to Naruto now, bound to him for life, and his home was hers. In truth, she found it confining being unable to see through the walls or into the basement, which they hadn't toured. Like most Hyuuga she was unsettled when confronted with barriers to her byakugan, but she couldn't refute the Hokage's argument that much of Naruto's work wasn't anything related to the Hyuuga and he needed to be able to work privately.

Hinata had also realized that getting used to a new serving staff would be an adjustment. She'd been raised by the servants at the Hyuuga main family's residence more than her father. She missed them already and while she'd never be so disrespectful as to question Naruto's choices in whom he hired, she wished that the entire staff wasn't complete strangers. They were polite and efficient from what she'd seen, and she didn't doubt her ability to win their respect and manage the household as she was expected to, but she'd have to get to know them all starting in the morning.

"I'm glad to hear that," Naruto said as he sat down on the side of the bed. He let the silence linger between them for a moment before he spoke again. "Hinata, have you had a chance to think about what I asked you at our betrothal?" Naruto asked.

"I have," Hinata replied. She'd given her feelings about his past a great deal of thought since he'd first challenged her assumptions that he was still the man who's hurt her friend so badly as a genin. "I don't know if I can do what you ask, Naruto. I want to believe in second chances, and that people can change for the better, but there are also some things that are beyond forgiveness. What you do as the Defender of Konohagakure doesn't bother me; we're all shinobi and we kill people for money. I'd be a hypocrite if I judged you just for having a high body count."

"Then what?" Naruto's voice was quiet, neutral.

"I can't forget what you did to Sakura," Hinata admitted, acknowledging the elephant in the room. "She was and is one of my best friends, and every day I see her I'm reminded that it wasn't very long ago that you did those horrible things."

"I see," Naruto said. "I deserve that. So where do we go from here?"

"I'm your wife," Hinata answered simply, "and as far as anyone outside this room is concerned, that's all that matters. I will manage your household. I will share your bed. I will bear and raise your children to honor and respect you. I will always stand by your side. I will advise and support you to the best of my ability, and I will hold in confidence what you tell me. But I don't think love is in the cards for either of us. I don't understand the person who you were when we were younger, and it's difficult to trust what I don't understand."

"I see," was all Naruto said before he rose to his feet and glanced at the door. "I should go."

Hinata shook her head. "There's no need for that. Please, stay." Forcing her hands not to tremble through an act of will, Hinata loosed the sash around her waist, steeling herself before opening the robe, baring herself to him

"Hinata, we don't have to-"

"We do, actually," Hinata replied firmly, "it's in the marriage contract. I come to you untouched. My blood on these sheets will be proof of my chastity." It was a bit of sophistry, since while she was a virgin she'd broken her hymen in physical training more than a decade earlier. But it was common in most marriage arrangements, so just the morning before a medic had regenerated it for her.

"Hinata…"

"I'm your wife, Naruto. This is my duty." It was odd to Hinata that Naruto's reluctance only strengthened her determination. Letting the robe slide from her shoulders she rose from the bed and stepped forward, naked before a man for the first time since she was a toddler. "Did I not say that I would share your bed and bear your children? Besides, servants gossip, and it would seem strange if we slept in different rooms on our wedding night."

Naruto looked at her helplessly. He almost flinched at the word 'duty', and his shoulders sagged slightly by the time she was done. "I see. All right." He took her hand and drew her back to the bed.

Hinata could tell that Naruto was making an effort to be gentle as he laid her down. She'd known him from the time they were in the Academy, so she knew that he was much stronger than he looked, and struggled with fine control of that strength. So she kept the discomfort from her face when his touch was heavy enough to bruise as he explored her body. To her embarrassment he seemed to enjoy lavishing attention on her full breasts with his hands and mouth. Hinata had always been self-conscious about the size of her breasts, which started growing early and had become humiliatingly large as she matured, obvious even when she tried to hide them under chest wrappings and shapeless jackets.

Hinata felt a sharper pain when he parted her legs and entered her. He was too large for her to accommodate comfortably, and each thrust hurt. Still she was a kunoichi and it was a manageable pain, less than she had suffered in battle. Hinata let none of her discomfort show on her face. When Naruto climaxed his demon chakra pulsed and washed over her, making her feel like she'd stepped into an oven for a brief moment before he regained control.

Afterwards Hinata cleaned herself up while servants entered briefly to change the bloodied sheets. As she showered she pressed a hand to her stomach, wondering if Naruto had given her a baby tonight. Approaching the wedding she'd wondered how she would feel at this moment. It took a long moment to realize that she felt nothing. She was simply numb.

Hinata stayed in the shower until the water turned cold. She dried off and dressed carefully, selecting sleepwear that would hide the bruises she'd have come morning. When she returned to the bedroom Naruto was already asleep, and she slipped quietly into his bed. Sleep didn't come to her until the early hours of the morning.

Author's Note: Apologies for the delay on this chapter. It was a difficult one to write. I had to put it aside and then redo the first and last sections a few times before I was satisfied that I'd struck the right tone on both. Hopefully I succeeded.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!