A/N: so it's 2 in the morning and I'm awake. I wrote this. Please forgive me if it's 2-in-the-morning-and-exhausted quality. I apologize wholeheartedly for not updating since July- I actually thought I updated more recently but damn I really haven't. I went on vacation, came home, and no joke, had no time to get my crap together. Junior year hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm just starting to crawl out of it now. I failed my last two math tests and it's really dragging me down, I'm in a huge rut. I'm trying so hard to do my best in my AP Art History class but in return I fail math. *sighs* I'm really struggling right now. I want to write but I don't have the time. Either way, thank you guys so much for sticking around. I recently got a review telling me this story has become nothing but fluff, that it started good and now it's going nowhere. I agree, I really do, because I really winged this fanfic, I had no real outline for it from the start. But I agree! It's getting old and I need to sum it up for real now! So I promise I'm almost there. We'll see if we make it to 40 chapters. I have a feeling 40 is the magic number. Let's see! I will try to update in a time increment shorter than 3 months next time.

Chapter 36

Dimitri found himself staring through the window of a small jewelry shop on a cool spring morning. An elaborate set of rings sat on display, crystals and gems lined up neatly with a velvety black backdrop.

He wandered in, his mind blank as he stared at them, imagining Jim's hand- not feminine at all- with the exception of small size- and some callouses hardened his fingertips, but they were still cute to Dimitri. He gazed at the matching, manlier rings, and decided Jim wouldn't like something so... prissy. He'd want something simpler, something that'd match with his look.

Jim was simple, with his hair tied in a small braid in the back, symmetrical with a shaved undercut, his clothes rather dark and loose on his frame. Jim was short and didn't have the best posture, so he seemed smaller than he really was, but he had muscle and broad shoulders when he sat up right, or when he tried to act intimidating to Dimitri (who wasn't phased at all- he felt monstrously tall, especially when Jim would get on his tiptoes and still have to look up).

So, clearly, something simple and casual would be something Jim would appreciate most. Then again, Dimitri didn't want to appear cheap or bland...

He stopped himself there, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks as he noticed many workers gazing at him curiously, ready to offer assistance. He felt hot all over as he realized he had wandered in without thinking about marrying Jim at all. He hadn't even thought about it deeply enough yet to decide if he even wanted to... so why was he in a jewelry shop already, thinking about what kind of ring would fit Jim best?

He shook his head and left the store, walking down the sidewalk briskly towards the gas station to begin his morning shift. His heart thumped hard in his chest as he imagined Jim in a sharp white suit... white would fit him. Pure, clean white, bringing out his blue eyes... he could see Jim's shy, adorable smile as he walked down the isle, blushing as his mom shed a tear.

"God dammit," Dimitri cussed under his breath, his heart doing little flips and turns as he approached the gas station. Maybe he didn't have to think so hard about marrying Jim- if he enjoyed the thought so much, maybe it was the right thing to do.

Just maybe...

Jim lay sprawled out on his bed, flipping through page after page of old books he borrowed from Dimitri's library. He read about the boundaries of the known universe, in-depth astrophysics, telescope technology and the making of the elements.

He tossed one of his books aside, noticing a bright teal-colored book under the piles of maroon, navy blue and mossy green books. He pulled it free, a smile breaking across his face as he saw the title.

Phobias Explained. It was the book Dimitri mentioned the dinner before their first kiss.

"What, do you have hedonophobia or something?"

Jim turned to look at Dimitri, a stumped look in his eyes. "Hedo... what?"

"Hedonophobia."

"What the hell does that mean?" Jim laughed.

"Fear of pleasure." Dimitri stared at Jim with a look of silent judgement. Jim shifted.

"And why do you know that word?" He smiled slowly, though secretly he was wondering why Dimitri knew that word.

"What else are you supposed to do when the library here has an entire book of phobias?" Dimitri shrugged. "I was 10 years old, and very bored."

Jim flipped through the pages, finding the spots where Dimitri had made little labels for words he liked. His eyes sparkled when he found Hedonophobia, boxed in by purple sharpie. He wondered if he actually was hedonophobic before he met Dimitri, but it seemed like a stretch to call his loneliness a phobia. He simply did not like anyone enough before he met Dimitri. Though, he had to admit, he felt strange and intimidated when he first fell in love. The feelings were so strong and unexpected that Jim thought maybe he should keep his distance- but every time he tried that, he only wanted Dimitri more, and the feelings got even harder to ignore. With a small smile, Jim folded that page of the book and stuck it in a drawer in his nightstand.

After being called by his mother, Jim was downstairs, dragging a soppy, gray mop around the wooden floors, his head still lost in the clouds. He first thought of what life would be like without Dimitri, and he figured it'd be the same as before- Jim would be bored, bitter and lonely, with no sense of what his future held for him. He then thought of what Dimitri was doing at the moment- probably at work- and smiled, imagining him in his apron, how they fooled around when Dimitri was in nothing but that apron to drive Jim insane.

Somehow Jim's thoughts brought him to an image of a cathedral, filled with light, the altar in his view with Dimitri standing beside it in the sharpest, most stunning suit he'd ever seen. His heart was pounding as all sorts of people looked at him, warm smiles lighting up their faces, but the face that mattered most was his mother's. Her eyes were the same color blue as Jim's, and they shone with tears that formed from the love she had for her son. Flower petals were scattered around his feet, and he felt a wave of warm, comforting love wash over him when he met Dimitri's caramel eyes, looking at him with a love that would last them until the end of their lives and beyond.

He hadn't realized he stopped mopping until his mom threw a damp rag at him and grinned mischievously, as if she knew everything he had been thinking. Jim grumbled and continued to move the soapy water around, a small smile resting on his lips.

Jim wouldn't object to something like marriage. He recalled the girl that visited the bakery the other week, telling them they seemed like soulmates. Her words repeated in Jim's head, making his cheeks warm.

He continued with his daily work until Dimitri stopped by for dinner. Small-talk filled the kitchen with a constant noise, Dr. Doppler's laughs and Dimitri's jokes blending in the background as Jim stuffed more turkey in his mouth. His mind was elsewhere, his eyes glassy and unfocused even when he spoke to his mother, asking her to pass the potatoes.

Once the dishes were washed and the table cleared, Dimitri placed his hand on the small of Jim's back as he dried a small bowl with a blue towel. Jim looked up at Dimitri curiously.

"Wanna take a ride with me after you're done?"

Jim nodded and Dimitri helped Jim finish drying the dishes. Together they went out to Dimitri's car, and wordlessly they drove out to the hills that were known for being the best sledding hills in Wisconsin, but in the spring no one bothered to see them. Little did everyone know that the hills were probably made for stargazing.

The walk up the hill was exhausting, but Jim held tight onto Dimitri's hand, laughing whenever Dimitri had to stop and catch his breath.

"You're an old man," he'd tease, and Dimitri would roll his eyes.

"Yeah, and you're a little kid," Dimitri retorted, "I could be a creepy old pedophile."

"Ew," Jim scrunched his nose, following Dimitri up the hill again, squeezing his fingers. "You're way hotter than that. But you're still old."

"Shut up."

They found a comfortable spot and laid on their backs, Jim's eyes shining with wonder as he stared at the sky. Dimitri's breathing settled and Jim felt a smile form on his face. He didn't need words. Their fingers laced together in the grassy patch between them, and they simply watched as stars twinkled.

"Do you know why the stars twinkle?" Jim spoke softly, not wanting to break the serenity between them. Dimitri shook his head.

"Tell me, oh wise astrophysicist," Dimitri grinned teasingly, and Jim blinked up at the stars, who blinked back at him.

"Those stars are like our sun," he explained, rubbing Dimitri's hand with his thumb. "They have solar systems, planets rotating around them. When a star twinkles, thats when a planet completely aligns itself with that star's path of light and our earth. It's like when a lunar eclipse happens, but in another galaxy. Think about it... all of those twinkles, all of those stars with planets like earth... how could you think there's no other form of life out there?"

Dimitri was always captivated with Jim's star-talk. He shook his head. "No idea." He paused thoughtfully. "They must see our sun twinkling too. A tiny speck. They might not know we're here either, or maybe they do. Who knows..."

They fell into silence, and Jim slowly sat up, tearing his eyes away from the stars and looking down at Dimitri, who was a light silvery-blue color. He bit his bottom lip slightly. Dimitri raised an eyebrow in question.

"Sorry, I forget hot beautiful you are," Jim spoke breathlessly, then blushed at his comment. "Uh... that was really gay."

"Says the gay guy to the gay guy," Dimitri grinned, sitting up on his elbows to press his lips to Jim's. Jim's eyes slid shut, and he kissed back slowly, softly, his heart pounding hard, but slowly.

When they broke apart, their eyes met, and a moment of mutual understanding settled between them. Dimitri opened his mouth slightly, but shut his lips, swallowing nervously.

Jim blinked in embarrassment and focused on a small dandelion by Dimitri's neck.

They both had thought of marriage, of true love, of forever at the same time.

"Jim?" Dimitri was first to speak, and Jim brought his eyes back to Dimitri's. "Would you be upset if I told you I never want to see you leave me? At all?"

"Of course not," Jim murmured, his cheeks dusted a light pink. "I was just thinking... I don't know what kind of person I'd be if you hadn't zoned out and wrecked my motorcycle that day. You stupid space cadet, you were hot but I was pissed because you were a rich guy and I was broke as shit."

Dimitri laughed at the comment. "You know how cats get all prickly if they don't like you, and if you make the wrong move they scratch the shit out of you? I felt that way when I was trying to get to know you. I'm surprised you didn't punch me."

Jim laughed and played with a few blades of grass, then fell back down onto his back, looking up at the swirls of stardust, planets glittering across the black plain like splattered paint. "You big dork, I love you."

"I love you, too," Dimitri murmured, a laugh to the edge of his voice. He was glad things got silent afterwords, because his heart leapt into his throat suddenly and he was unable to think of anything except for one thing.

I need to get a ring tomorrow.