Nagato was still examining me with quiet that interest of hers, waiting for a response from me as I ran everything I'd just heard inside my head.
So once again I had found myself in an alternate reality. The changes to this one follow as: Suzumiya Haruhi founded a club, but not the SOS Brigade, instead it was the Theatre Club of her own. Tsuruya-san was taken in as the last member to fill in the mandatory minimum requirement because Koizumi doesn't exist in this reality, with Tsuruya-san probably being recruited in his place because she is pretty weird even if she isn't a mysterious transfer student, since even in this reality Haruhi hasn't given up on all her eccentricities. That was pretty much it, although I suppose there could be some little details off as well, but these were the immediate things that really stood out.
But here's the real kicker, somehow I'm responsible for all of this. Yes, this is all flowing from Haruhi, directed by the IDSE, but I'd been the initial cause of this whole simulation crap. I was the thing that had broken the dam. Just what had I done… to her? I had no idea. Shouldn't I be able to remember it if it happened before Haruhi created some closed space? Or maybe it happened right then and there… What had I done?
The handle of the restroom's door jiggled, before the telltale rough, scratching sounds of a key being placed unceremoniously inside a lock and opened were heard. My angry looking gym teacher was revealed behind the door, with plenty of schoolgirls behind him, all squeezing their legs together with pained looks on their faces.
"Hey! What are the two of you doing in here?" the teacher shouted grouchily as he spotted the two of us standing there.
But before any hasty, bumbling excuse could be made for the teacher, the girls behind did something that could only be described as a stampede. They pushed him aside and ran for the stalls, jostling each other out of the way to reach the limited amounts of toilets. The angry screams and squeals were almost deafening.
"C'mon!" I shouted at Nagato as I took her hand and fought my way through the tide of pushing girls, past the teacher in the corner who was calling for order amongst the occasional mutterings of "damn, horny teenagers…", using our only chance of escape to the fullest. I definitely didn't want to stay around and explain what exactly I had been doing with a girl in a restroom. I only hoped the teacher hadn't made me in the second he'd had to notice us before the stampede began.
… Seriously though, is this the only girls' toilet or something?
We ran until we were on the opposite side of the building, the pull of Nagato on my hand as I pulled her along barely tangible. It felt like she was just floating after me.
"Phew, that was close," I said, giving my brow wipe of relief as we stopped running.
Nagato gave a little nod in response.
Now that we were alone again in what seemed to be an empty hallway, some questions that had eluded me earlier popped into my head. There was something off about how all of this had started.
"Why did all of this just suddenly start for me in the middle of Haruhi's proclamation? If this reality is always recreated, shouldn't I remember what's different about this scenario?"
"The nanites were only able to restore your previous synaptic conditions now. They are still adjusting to your personal cerebral network. You were unable to retain memories associated with this scenario that had been uploaded into your brain, because processing through too many memories would have been too exhaustive on you neural matter. The nanites prioritized your memories according to relevance to your current conditions to accommodate easier transaction. As the nanites become better attuned to your unique brain structure, you should be able to retain more memories and phase from one scenario to another without any lengthy recalibration."
"Do these scenarios always go back to the beginning of all of this, when Haruhi entered the school?"
"No."
"…Uh, why not?"
"Although it is a high profile reference point, it is not the only one."
Okay, that's all I need to know. As long as I don't always need to relive my experiences with Haruhi from the beginning, I'm happy.
I looked down and noticed I was still holding onto Nagato's hand, and quickly released it, slightly embarrassed I'd kept a hold on her for so long. For Nagato however, the release of her hand barely registered as she let it slip back to her side, merely blinking casually.
"I believe we should retire for today," Nagato said. "The surge of new data must be overwhelming for you."
Yeah, something like that…
Nagato took the lead as we strode down a barren hallway, lockers lining our left in perfect formations, while afternoon sun filtered through the windows on the right. The sound of our steps was the only thing to be heard, disturbingly loud for the lack of any other sounds.
The situation I found myself in definitely was confusing. It seemed that whenever I got some answers, only more questions would spring forth from them, like now.
"Why did you give me a way to remember stuff? And before that, had I been in full control of myself?" I asked as we kept walking, my natural paranoia starting to creep into my line of questioning once again.
"Early in the simulations, a significantly small proportion of control was allowed for humans as the Integrated Data Sentient Entity desired to have full control over all the variables in order to observe which factors influenced Suzumiya Haruhi to the greatest degree. This method however failed to work at all and was quickly rectified. Suzumiya Haruhi's full mental capabilities were restored. However, she quickly noticed discrepancies, even with personality programs in effect for the others that were based on gathered data, and became suspicious, beginning to act in a none beneficial manner. More control was given to the humans surrounding her. You were mostly free throughout the simulations, with the Integrated Data Sentient Entity merely occasionally influencing your choices in gathering new data, which they would not receive under normal conditions. Your full awareness is a favorable condition for the Integrated Sentient Data Entity. With you at the full control of your own mental faculties, with limited external influence, you are expected to aid in yielding a greater amount of data for observation and processing than most of the earlier iterations."
More data will be gathered in this instance of the simulation than the ones before? But the only real difference is me, me being fully aware. It's almost like… No, they didn't do this on purpose did they? Is the only reason I'm fully aware now because they just changed some variable? Did they release me from their hold and make sure I stayed that way only because they wanted to try something different? Is that the only reason Nagato helped me? Is Nagato just using me? Perhaps on orders of the IDSE, but still using me.
…
Why am I thinking these ugly thoughts about Nagato? Don't I really trust her in all of this, or maybe this isn't really my thought at all. What if I'm not really in full control even yet?
Instead of occasionally wondering just how much control Haruhi had over what happened to me and how I feel and think, I knew for certain the Integrated Sentient Data Entity was filling in the role of the bad guy, methodically pulling at all the strings this time.
"Hey, there you guys are!" Haruhi's voice was like the first creaking sounds of the beginning of an avalanche in a silent valley. Both Nagato and I froze in place was we heard it. "Where were you? I went to the nurse but she said she hadn't seen anyone today," she said as she descended a flight of stairs nearby, her eyes narrowed in a wary look.
"We were… just on our way…"
Well that was lame and totally unbelievable. I'm going to get my ear chewed off now, perhaps even literally, aren't I? It certainly wouldn't surprise me if Haruhi thought that might be a good punishment.
"You've been walking towards the nurse's for around twenty minutes? Yeah right. Try again, dolt," Haruhi said as she settled into a distrustful position complete with crossed arms and a frowning face. She was the very picture of a skeptic (almost like a female version of me… I know, makes me shudder too).
Crap, what should I say? I really wish Koizumi were here. Coming up with cover stories on the spot is more his expertise than mine.
"We were…"
"Yes?"
"Book," Nagato stated flatly.
"Huh?" Both me and Haruhi asked in synchronized astonishment as our eyes veered to focus on the blank-expressioned girl.
"He borrowed a book from me. I would like it back."
"Really? And you took all this time to tell him that…? With the usual length of your sentences, that must have been some slow talking," Haruhi asked Nagato with a leery squint of her eyes, before she suddenly turned to face me with a challenging call. "Kyon! What's the name of this book?"
"It's… uhm…"
"The –"
"No, Yuki, I want Kyon to tell me."
'Relevance to current scenario lacking. Freeing associative functions to facilitate advancement along relevant memory line. Searching for stimuli to expedite procedure,' a disembodied whisper in my ears spoke.
"I… I don't remember. I can't even remember where I left it. As you might guess, Nagato didn't take this news lightly."
"So the two of you have been doing what? Planning a search?"
"Well, we were going through places I might have left it."
"Not at home?"
"Don't think so."
"I see…" Haruhi's eyes shifted between the pair of us until they eventually settled on Nagato. "Yuki, you should just go ahead and come up with a punishment for such disrespect towards a fellow Brigade member's precious possessions. Be creative. Whatever it is, I'll make sure he does it."
What, you're not going to come up with it yourself? That's rare. You're usually more sadistic than that.
"Don't have the time," Haruhi said, flicking her hair with a hand, sending one of the ends of the orange ribbon on her head flittering about. "I need to finalize our –"
– Ribbon –
I fastened the ribbon around a slender ankle, held out gingerly for me. A pained hiss followed, as air was sucked in through clenched teeth by the rough handling.
– Hiss –
The tea was boiling, hissing as it let out steam.
The clubroom was dishearteningly empty. I couldn't believe how lonely I was starting to feel all of a sudden. I was in a parallel reality, which, quite frankly, was disappointingly similar to my reality, but always differing in key places. Koizumi was gone, Tsuruya was in his place, Haruhi felt… different, and apparently Asahina-san didn't have a clue about time-travel. I'd asked her afterwards, but she had seemed simply confused. The Brigade simply wasn't what it was supposed to be here.
At least the tea ingredients had been where they were supposed to be. I had set some tea brewing and was now sitting down at the long table in the middle of the room, my arms crossed as I stared up at the empty ceiling.
Just what am I going to do? I'd thought I might be able to enjoy this situation, but it seems I just can't bring myself to do anything radical. Although the consequences didn't matter in the long run, I still couldn't do anything that felt… wrong. I wish this wasn't the case, but even so, I still felt responsible for my acts. It was me in charge after all, making the decisions, and as long as I could choose, I was responsible for those choices. True, there wouldn't be consequences once this was all over, but I'd still probably know what I did, and forcing myself on Asahina-san, no matter what the circumstances, wasn't what I wanted to remember.
– Asahina-san –
"K-Kyon-kun…? Wha… what are we doing here?" Asahina-san asked, anxiety creeping into her voice, making it slightly higher than usual. With any other person, this might have been annoying, but for Asahina-san, it only managed to somehow make her even more endearing for me.
I turned around to face the stunningly beautiful girl, cuter than ever as she fidgeted with her hands, thighs tightly held together, blushing profusely, eyes darting around the empty stairwell, taking extra care not to look me in the eyes.
Gulp…
"Asahina-san…"
"Y-yes…?" Asahina-san carefully raised her head, and looked me in the face.
"Could I… I mean… I've wanted to… for a very long time now… I…"
"Yes…?" Her eyes seemed to shimmer in the faint light in the rather dark stairwell.
I took a small step closer to her, and my hand started to tremble a little all of a sudden. I gave it a look and forced it to stop quivering. But when I returned my eyes to Asahina-san's level, I noticed that she had backed off, all the way against the wall jus behind her. She was holding her hands together against her chest, shivering a little, starting to look a bit too red, in fact.
"Uhmm, are you okay, Asahina-san?" I asked, getting a bit closer.
"Ah, I, I'm f-fine," she muttered, but drew backwards even more as I took another little tentative step closer to her, practically terrified by me.
The way her full lips were parted ever so slightly, the way her chest had started heaving as I drew closer, the way her eyes really did glimmer in the faint light, the way her hair smelled from this short distance, that sweet but fresh smell, was making my mouth dry, making me wish, to want, to… to ask her something I'd wanted to do since practically the first time I had laid my eyes on her…
Can I kiss you?
We were practically face to face now, lips only a few measly inches away, when a short, fearful, quivering gasp escaped from Asahina-san's lips. I could actually feel the air around my own lips rush forward at the sharp intake of breath on her part.
I looked her in the eyes, ready to finally seize what I had been denied for so long and –
'Earlier memory-line backtrack identified. Lacking relevant data to present circumstances. Adjusting… returning to previous data point…'
– At least the tea ingredients were still where they were supposed to be. I set some tea brewing and sat down at the long table in the middle of the room, crossing my arms as I stared up at the empty ceiling.
'Kyon…'
Huh?
I looked around, but the clubroom was empty. The tea pot was the only thing making noise in the room, sizzling gently as the water was starting to simmer. Distant voices from outside were so muffled you couldn't make out anything distinct either.
Weird, I thought I'd heard someone say my name.
'Can you… hear… me…?'
Okay, now I definitely heard someone, although the voice was barely a whisper, almost like the sound of rushing wind.
I walked over to door and pulled it open, but found no one there, so apparently I wasn't being toyed with. I peeked under the table as well just in case Haruhi had had one of her strokes of genius, but found no one there either. I scratched my head as I walked over to the window to see if anyone was down on the grounds, but found no one yet again.
'Hello…?'
"Okay, what the hell? Am I going crazy?" Just as I voiced my growing annoyance, I thought I could spot a faint red glow in the shadow of the proper school building, like the point of a laser, but with a glow effect, before the point of light seemed to meld with the school's wall, passing through it.
What the hell…? I… I've seen that light before, haven't I?
The door burst open behind me, hitting the wall with a loud bang as a green blur entered the room and flashed across the room, a firm hand grabbing my tie as I turned around to see what kind of craziness was about to happen next. With surprising force and speed, my tie tightened around my neck like a noose, making me gag.
"I'm not sure what exactly it is you're up to… but know this: I'll be keeping an eye on you!" Tsuruya-san, my captor, said in a threatening voice, glaring daggers right through my skull now that we were on eye level.
"Whah are youh tahking 'bout?" I wheezed back at her, reaching for my tie, but Tsuruya-san quickly batted both my hands away with her free hand.
"Mikuru-chan is a sweet girl who doesn't need the advances of perverts like you," she said, her voice a scary, hushed monotone like a snake's hiss when confronted with a mongoose, but still oddly lacking in detectable anger, which admittedly made her all the more frightening in a psychopathic manner.
"Buh I di'n't –"
"I know you didn't actually do anything yet, so I'm warning you now. I let your dirty remarks go yesterday, thinking they were just in good fun or something, but if I find you trying any more weird fantasy role games with her, something stupid about her being a time-traveler or something, I might just have to tighten" – she pulled down on my tie again, making me gag for air some more, to emphasize her point, I guess – "my watch on you."
"Ohkhayh!" I was quick to agree.
"Good. I'm glad we got that out of the way," Tsuruya-san said casually, releasing me at last as she dusted her hands like she had just completed her chores. "So, what do you think is in store for us today with Haruhi?" she asked, as if nothing had just happened, shifting conversational gears way too quickly.
I was still trying to catch my breath, so I couldn't answer, but that was probably a good thing.
Damn it… Just why do I have to be stuck in this situation with not one but two crazy girls? There's just no justice in the world. Shit just happens, and I dare anyone to claim otherwise with a straight face.
"Dunno, haven't seen her today…" I slowly answered as I gave my neck a gentle massage. I really didn't need this right now, so it was best to just go along with it.
"Really?"
"Yeah… besides, don't you still have lessons?"
"Don't you?"
"I'm skipping today."
"Huh, I'm totally seeing a whole new side to you today, Kyon, my boy. Be careful, this dangerous streak you're on might just come back to bite you on the ass."
Unlikely, all things considered… And is it just me, or do you always gain an additional amount of violent tendencies when you're in an alternate reality? What exactly needs to be changed in order for that to happen? Or are you really like this in the real world and I just don't know it? Hell, I can't read people for crap anymore, so it wouldn't really surprise me.
"Well, anyway, you're right. I do have lessons. See ya!" And with those cheery words, Tsuruya-san skipped off, long hair waving freely, closing the door behind her with another bang.
At this moment, the teapot decided to add to the general commotion and started an ear piercing whistle all of a sudden. I hurried over to the annoying thing and turned down the heat, taking the pot of the heater to cool down.
…Right, let's see, where was I before I was nearly choked to death…?
…
That red light… I'm sure I've seen it before.
Leaving my tea to cool down for the moment, I decided to head out and inspect the spot where I'd seen the light disappear. When I arrived, I found a resolutely solid wall that didn't give at all as I pushed on it, nor did it feel warm or anything else one might expect after some sort of laser had passed through it. In fact, there was nothing off about the wall or anything around the area. I looked around, trying to spot the place from where the light could have been shined from. If it had come from somewhere, it should have been the Old Shack, but as far as I could tell, the building looked completely empty, which of course made sense, as lessons were still going on.
So what had that light been?
Having no clues to follow, I guess it would just be best to give up on this little mystery, whatever it had been. I had thought the light was somehow connected to the faint voice in my head, but now there wasn't a trace of either one.
'Kyon…?'
Crap, it's back!
I spun around on my heels, half expecting to catch my tormentor in the act behind my back, as it really did sound like someone was whispering right in my ear. If there had been a warm moistness of breath in my ear, I would have been especially creped out.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I guess I'm just imagining things.
I looked behind me again, but still nothing stirred on the empty yard.
Suddenly something warm seemed to slide through my left shoulder. I grabbed a hold on it, but found that there was nothing there. Even my shoulder itself didn't feel warmer although I was certain something warm had passed through it. I even went so far as to reach under my shirt and touch the skin around my shoulder, but nothing seemed out of place.
I glanced at the wall again, but it was still the same.
Someone had to be playing with a laser or something.
"Okay! Whoever you are, stop messing around! You could blind someone!" Namely me!
'I don't think… that's something you need to… worry about.'
A red light that flickered like it was coming in from under lapping waves of water shimmered next to my head.
"What the hell?"
I jumped away from the thing and tried to swat it away, because although it had a faint glow to it, it was obvious now at this distance that it was more solid than a laser light. The faint light seemed to be originating from the thing's centre. But as I tried to hit the thing, foolishly not even considering how dangerous an action like that might be, my hand just passed through the round little glob of reddish light, proving that in fact it wasn't solid after all.
'Please, calm down… it's only me…'
'Me'? Wait, this light… and that voice… I've experienced something like this before, but in a much colder and darker version of this school.
"Koizumi?"
'Yes… How are you?'
"I'm… I'm fine. But what the hell happened to you? Nagato said you might have been shunted out of reality or something?"
'That… is an accurate enough… way of explaining my current condition…'
"But obviously you're not in a different reality, since you're here, more or less. What happened?"
'As a matter of fact… I truly am outside of reality as we know it… along with many of my companions… It is only through our combined efforts… that we were able to pierce the veil… between actuality and something I like to think… is akin to Plato's idealistic realm… We've made contact with you three times before… but to no avail… It takes great concentration to… focus on achieving communication without dispersal… I fear we only have enough energy… for this last attempt… one more forceful ejection from here… could leave us stranded forever…'
"Huh? Okay, please retrace your steps. I'm having trouble following what exactly happened to you." For some reason, I could just imagine a spectral Koizumi shrugging nonchalantly, despite the worrying topic.
'I, along with my companions… were inside a sealed reality… unlike others before it… bigger and expanding faster than before… appeared out of nowhere… thought she had been stable enough… something happened… the avatars, so many of them… they were first dazed, completely stunned… until they went mad, berserker, destroying everything… with more force than ever before… and then suddenly, all went grey… now we are stuck… hard to describe… losing energy… will dissipate into surroundings most likely… nothing real exists here… just thoughts… and nightmares… archetypal beings… essences of ideas… we're losing cohesion… we must escape… or we will perish…'
"Are you really Koizumi?" I just had to ask. This was all a bit too much to take in so suddenly. I am, after all, in a reality governed by a data being that wants to coax responses out of Haruhi, but allow me to think freely while still maneuvering me around, without stripping me of my unique handling of situations. This, whatever it was, could easily be me being jerked around by someone other than Haruhi for once, which I found far more disconcerting for some reason.
'I can only plead my case… from what I have been able to gather… from our earlier discussions… you are not completely free… I cannot trust that you are truly you either… but I have no choice…'
Hey, hey, hey. I'm the one stuck in some weird reality outside of my control (not that different from my own reality, admittedly), so I should have the monopoly on paranoia. I can't have people aiming their suspicions at me when there's more than enough crazy stuff going on around me in the shadows for me to worry about.
'You must help… please…'
"Yeah, yeah, okay." Not like I especially want to stay here or anything. Besides, if there really are lives at stake, I can't just sit on my ass and screw about as I had intended. I guess I'd have to do my part to help a little.
"So what do you think I should do?" I asked, not sure exactly where I should aim my voice at. The glimmering glob of light kept moving about in a random looking pattern, like a particle due to Brownian motion, but the faint voice of Koizumi seemed to pass directly into my brain or something, or possibly originate from everywhere around me.
'I have no idea why this sealed reality was formed… so it is difficult to say what is specifically required… and since the reality you are in … is not exactly the same as our own… it feels almost like a sealed reality… maybe that is why I can appear like this… so whatever condition birthed this place… should be met, I believe…'
"Just so you know, the Integrated Data Sentient Entity seems to have a hand in all of this. It looks like it seized hold of the closed space somehow, while you guys were in there."
'Ah, I see… That explains a lot… so perhaps it is not necessary to meet any condition set by Suzumiya-san… but by the data entities instead… presumably their goal is still to gather as much data… on Suzumiya-san in order to achieve auto-evolution…"
Yeah, right on the money once again, Mr. Analytical.
"Sooo… What? What should I do? Act crazy or something? Force a weird response from Haruhi? Push her in a corner? Because honestly, I'd rather not go poking at that killer beehive, even in another reality."
'Understandable… and that is certainly a possible option to be pursued… but I would prefer not to rush… though we are indeed running out of energy… we should be able sustain contact for long enough to continue evaluating the situation… for instance, we now know much more than before… How did you know the Integrated Data Sentient Entity was involved?'
"Nagato told me."
'Nagato-san…? I see…'
"What's that supposed to mean?"
'What?'
"You seemed to… have a slightly suspicious tone." That is, if a weird energy blob that didn't even have a mouth could have different tones to its voice. Then again, the thing was talking to me after all, so why not suspend my disbelief just a little more?
'As much as I do value… Nagato-san as a fellow compatriot… she is still ultimately under orders from her superiors… despite her growing… individualization, I suppose is the word… In fact…'
"What?"
'Never mind… we need to focus… the previous time we re-established communications with you… you had forgotten our earlier talks… and seemed to be in completely different situations… like now again… How are things currently?'
"Well, it seems the IDSE is running simulations to test on Haruhi. The current one's not so different from our own reality, except there's no SOS Brigade but a Theatre Club instead with Tsuruya-san in your place and Asahina-san seems not to be a time traveler."
'A Theatre Club…? Hmm… how fitting.'
"How so?"
'Never mind… for now, it would be best for you to follow along… But giving the data entities what they want… might not necessarily be in our best interests…'
"Why not? Wouldn't they just leave?"
'Possibly… but wouldn't that also amount… in Nagato-san's disappearance?'
Okay, fine, forget it then. "Then what can we do? It seems this thing just keeps looping until they get what they want."
'Perhaps, we can discover… a way to break their hold… we need to know more… take me to Nagato-san…'
"I would if I could, but I don't know where she is."
I thought I could hear a distant echo-like sigh reverberate inside my head.
'All right… then we should…"
"Yeah?"
'Hmm… Quite frankly… I do not know…'
Great.
'If you could… I suggest finding Nagato-san as quickly as possible… she may be our best option…'
I guess I could try calling her home, though it's kind of doubtful that will result in anything at all. I don't think the little girl's away sick or anything like that.
I pulled out my cell phone and thumbed Nagato's home number, as Koizumi, the glowing red orb, hovered about expectantly in front of me, but as I had predicted, there was no answer.
'Do you have any idea where she might have gone…?'
"None whatsoever."
'I hope she has not been intentionally pulled out of the scenario… just to make sure we do not attempt anything through her… though I do not believe I have been detected yet… not that I was aware of how important secrecy might be…'
Hmm… I hope so too. I don't know what I'd do if Nagato wasn't here anymore.
'What about Suzumiya-san…?'
"What about the pain in the ass?"
'If Nagato-san is unattainable for our assistance… Suzumiya-san is our next best bet… She obviously still possesses all her powers… otherwise the purpose of this simulation would be pointless…'
"Hmmm… I suppose so. Unfortunately, her whereabouts are just as much a mystery to me as Nagato's."
'Then it seems we are at an impasse for the moment…'
"Haruhi did have plans for today, and she did seem excited about them, but you know how flippant she is."
'Yes… In that case… I suppose we have nothing better… to do than wait on her…'
Fine by me. It's your funeral if we're wasting time, not mine. I have nothing but time here.
As I headed back towards the Old Shack, I couldn't help but feel a little odd as Koizumi hovered next to me like some witch's familiar.
"Am I the only one who can see you? Because if you keep this up…"
'I can phase through matter to hide away… detection should not be a problem… This place feels very much like a sealed reality… despite its lively appearance…'
Yup, this place is a major improvement over the dark and creepy closed spaces of Haruhi's I'd been in before.
I opened the door into the club complex and made my way to the stairs, Koizumi floating along with me, bobbing about, but it was eerie to note that the glow he emanated didn't cast any shadows on the nearby walls surrounding us. The light he cast didn't seem to carry at all beyond the glow around him.
"So, all this closed space… Don't you have any idea why it was created by Haruhi in the first place?" I asked as I climbed the stairs.
'None whatsoever… I was not present… Do you not remember… what happened before?'
What a stupid question. Of course I remember… Uhm, it was just a normal day. We were in the clubroom, doing the usual routine, the two of us playing a game, Asahina-san serving and fussing about unless watching our game, Nagato reading in her corner and Haruhi at the computer, typing away, looking kind of bored, though she did occasionally chuckle to herself.
'No… The sealed reality occurred during the evening… SOS Brigade activities were over for the day…'
What? Are you sure?
'Positive… my companions also agree…'
But that would mean… there's a gap in my memory.
'Perhaps the Integrated Data Sentient Entity… has a far greater influence on this… whole situation than we even suspected…'
"They're withholding my memories? They can't possibly do that? Can they? Then again, the assholes had had full control of everything, so I guess it's not completely out of the question. But why would they do that then?"
'Are the rest of your memories fully intact?'
"Huh? I think they are… but you should know, that's an incredibly stupid question. If there are some memories missing, how could I remember them not being there?"
'I meant are there any other gaps?'
"Don't think so."
'While the worst case scenario of course… is that we are being manipulated… it is possible that there is another reason… you for example don't seem to remember our earlier meetings… perhaps this version of reality… was constructed at a point before the actual sealed reality… was created on the linear time axis…'
Huh? I'm not following… okay, you know what, never mind. Whatever. Not important. Seriously. Just more jargon talk. I've started to sort of automatically zone out whenever this happens when I'm speaking with Koizumi and Nagato. It's kind of like white noise to me nowadays. I usually get the gist of the matter anyway by context without understanding the specifics. I can just let my eyes glaze over but return to focus when something lowbrow is said again.
We had arrived at the SO- I mean the Theatre Club's door. I got in and held the door open for Koizumi, but he just wafted through the doorframe.
'So this is the clubroom… Yes, it appears to be as it was in our reality… Quite different from the last time I made contact with you…'
"How so?"
Maybe it was just me, but the glowing glob that was Koizumi seemed to flicker uncertainly like the flame of a candle next to an open window for a moment.
'…Let's just say… it was very different…'
"Yeah, how so?"
'I really think you would appreciate it… if it was left unsaid… Trust me…'
…You just had to say something like that, didn't you? Now I really want to hear, but seeing as you usually know what's what, maybe I should listen…
Screw it, tell me!
'Well, for starters, the school was no longer… situated on the same level relative to the equator… but closer to it… as such, it was a lot warmer…'
"So… what? More casual attire?"
'Yes, that seems as… euphemistic a way as possible to describe it…'
"Okay, fine, I won't ask any more stupid questions." We all have our dirty little secrets, this can be yours.
'Thank you…'
With a response like that, I'm definitely not going to push any further. My mind's theatre was already starting to come up with alternatively clad versions of all the girls in warmer weather. It was best to leave this conversation there before I got overly stimulated. It probably wouldn't take long for me to advance to coconut shells and then simply discard them. Because let's face it, those things can't be comfortable. For the girls… of course.
"If Haruhi really is our best shot at escaping… how exactly would we go about that? There seems to be a lot of problems with asking her for help."
'Naturally, attempting a similar method to the one in the previous –'
"Don't even go there."
'Hmm… All right… Of course, there is a problem with that line of thinking… Suzumiya-san was tired of reality then… we have no idea what caused this sealed reality… I was not present and you do not remember… on top of that… the data entities control this realm now… Suzumiya-san's initial reasons for creating closed space… might not matter in resolving this reality…'
"Yeah, for a while there, I was starting to get worried I'd have to go ahead and tell Haruhi about the true nature of her existence and then try to convince her of it somehow."
'Making Suzumiya-san aware is of course a possibility… though difficult… We believe it should be a last resort however… especially as Suzumiya-san's sense of reality is now under the influence of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity… the new reality she might conceive of might not resemble our old one… as she is acting under the history of the alternate reality… she probably doesn't even remember me…'
"Yup. Seems like it. As far as I can tell, it's like you never existed."
'Though you might alert her to my existence… she would not truly know what I am like and I might not come to exist at all…'
"All right, all right, it's a last resort. I got it. Could you come up with something useful actually? Some other things to try before we go and try to lock li- before we go and do something really drastic?" Not to mention stupid.
'We have been working on a hypothesis… as the reality you are in is essentially a sealed reality…but as the realm might not be governed by any form of Suzumiya-san's distress… a reality that seems to function very similarly to our own… perhaps inciting a response from her that would essentially create another sealed reality would work…'
"Huh? A closed space… inside a closed space? Is that your master plan? Better yet, is that even a good idea?"
'Of course we are not sure if it will work either… though sealed realities appeared inside our reality… they were randomly placed around Suzumiya-san… the stress-relieving reality might form within your reality… or outside it in our home reality… depending on whether that reality even exists anymore…'
"Just what are you getting at?"
'Allow me to introduce you to some vaguely solipsist thoughts… our reality, the one where we came from… was shaped by Suzumiya-san's thoughts and expectations… then verified by her perceptions of it to a degree… one affirming the other… while the supernatural elements she desired did not fit into her coherently structured view of the world… in fact, I do not believe we can ever reveal to her our true existence… if she does not believe such things to actually happen no matter how much she wishes for them…'
"Stop this inane philosophical analysis! You said my reality was gone! What about my home, family, life and everything else? Are they all gone?"
'No, no… you misunderstand… This reality is essentially the reality Suzumiya-san experiences… as such, there is no need for her to maintain a reality outside of it… this is now the new reality, just as real as ours ever was or wasn't…'
"But you're existing outside it in Limbo or something, so that proves there are realities outside this one."
'True, we exist… but we are losing form… There is a reason why I made a comparison with Plato's idealistic realm of forms… but it seems the reference was lost on you… we are losing form as Suzumiya-san no longer conceives of us… does not think of us in any form… This could be happening to our home reality…'
Great, so I don't have an unlimited amount of time here after all. I really had thought I could try and mess about for a while and have some fun since I hadn't realized I could do that in the time loop, but now it looks like that options been blitzkrieged into oblivion.
'We are in a realm of ideas, I suppose… perhaps I represent some sort of archetypical persona, at least to her… so I can still exist to an extent until I too will disappear… In fact, I'm am one of the few among us who has retained most attributes…'
Okay… I don't really get it.
'Our home reality was the result of an affirming cycle between her conception of reality and her perceptions of it… neither existing without the other… this reality however, is shaped to an extent by the data entities… and this is the reality she perceives… which in turn affirms it in her mind… so if there's no reality to be perceived outside this, at least any specific reality resembling ours… there's no real reason for her to specifically believe in it… so it would seem the new reality, which feels like an odd, sort of cinnamon mix of sealed reality and open reality, is now the new one… and as is the case with us here, it is possible… that our old reality is undergoing a similar dispersal…'
…
Cinnamon? Really? It seems odd that I'd give this observation that much thought beyond the pure absurdity of it, but as I can't really understand much of anything else being said, it's practically forcing me to focus on it… Cinnamon… like in a bun? Reality can feel like a baked good?
'Although… since the Integrated Data Sentient Entity is controlling this reality… is it doing so from within or without it…?'
"Okay, enough already! You are badly digressing here! Remember what I asked you? You were supposed to come up with practical solutions, not go on a metaphysical rant! How would a closed space inside a closed space solve anything?"
'As this reality was formed from a… sealed space of limited size, before it expanded to fully cover ours… I think it stands to reason that this reality is also spatially limited to the same degree…'
"So it's a like bubble?"
'Yes… and if we force another 'bubble' inside that… one of similar form…'
"It'll… burst?"
'That's the hypothesis…'
"You're not exactly filling me with confidence here. Besides, what's the bubble bursting into? There might not be another reality out there, that's the point you were trying to make, right?"
'Yes, an astute observation… which is why we are not certain how exactly to go about this…'
"Let's just hope we can find Nagato."
'Indeed…'
"But if we don't, should I try and make Haruhi feel depressed or –"
The clubroom's door burst open with a loud bang, the walls reverberating with the shock as the door slammed into one of them. A few pieces of plaster actually fell from the ceiling and really made me feel scared for my life for a brief moment as I thought I could hear a dangerous creak above me.
"Hey~hoo!" Haruhi shouted as she barged in, smiling so widely her eyes were practically closed as her cheeks were pulled high enough to make room for the huge smile trying to take over all of her face.
A flash of red before my eyes passed so quickly I only realized what had happened after a weird warmness passed into my chest. Like warm liquid silver, a bubbling ball snuck next to the beats of my hearts, flittering almost like in tune with it.
In one of her waving hands, Haruhi had a paper bag, while the other was firmly clasped to Yuki's, who looked as unfazed and uninterested by the proceedings as a biologist would be by hearing a layman confirm cell theory. Haruhi marched in briskly, pulling Nagato behind her like a doll, followed by an eagerly smiling Tsuruya-san and a worriedly grinning Asahina-san whose eyes kept darting about uncertainly.
"Take a seat, everyone! It's time to get started!" Haruhi shouted, waving the bag about as she led Nagato around the central table to her usual spot, not stopping as she released her hold on the other girl and marched up to me, still beaming that 100 000 kilowatt smile at me.
Gulp…
…Koizumi is INSIDE me! #$%! This so freaking gross on so many levels! Uuugh…
'My apologies… I panicked… I'll try to move to the floor discreetly…'
The little ball of heat started moving down my chest.
STOP! DON'T YOU DARE GO ANY LOWER!
'Interesting…'
WHAT?
'Apparently, while inside your body… I can hear your thoughts… provided there's enough focus on your part… I can also communicate with you… without being heard by others, as I am projecting my own thoughts in a precise manner… lest there be diffractive dispersal… This could prove very useful…'
Don't even think it! As soon as everyone's gone, you are getting out and staying out! I have a thing about other guys inside me… Yeesh, see how bad that sounded?
'So if I happened to be of the other gender…? Would your willingness to allow cohabitation be better inclined…?'
No! You know what I meant!
'I must admit this is surprisingly comfortable… I feel oddly energized… perhaps I am able to extract energy from your body and thus – '
Doesn't freaking matter! You're getting the #$% out as soon as possible!
"Kyon? What the hell's up with you? You actually look like you literally have ants in your pants… and it's not nearly as amusing to watch as I'd thought it'd be," Haruhi said, looking at me with disgust tinted worry, like one would if confronted by a smelling ranting bum come to talk about salvation through squid brain hats.
"I – I – I have to use the toilet!"
"Then by all means do! I don't want you defecating in here or something. The place already smells weird enough with your testosterone filled sweat mixing with our estrogen."
"Whatever you say!"
I ran as fast as I could out of the room, catching only glimpses of the faces of the other girls around the room. Tsuruya-san was smirking widely with amusement, Asahina-san was frowning with concern, Nagato passively watched me run along, and Haruhi simply had a disdainful glower on her face, probably simply annoyed by my wasteful antics.
As I slammed the door shut behind me, I focused with all of my mind on one single thought: GET THE #$% OUT!
'As you wish…'
The red ball of energy that was Koizumi emerged from my chest like a ghostly decapitated head, wavering as it came in contact with the world outside my body, but it did seem to have a slightly brighter glow to it, although there was still a disturbing lack of cast shadows from its light.
Huoh… I sighed deeply with relief. After spending more than a year with Haruhi and the insanity she brought to my life, I had never sighed that deeply when she'd given up on of her zanier ideas. I felt incredibly liberated, like a dangerous tumor that would have claimed my life in weeks had been removed.
'I shall remain out of sight… but I believe you should return as fast as possible and learn… as much as you can about the conditions under which this reality operates… If you wish, I believe I could still maintain contact with you… provided I concentrate hard enough…'
"No… Just… just stay back for a while, okay?"
'All right… I see how greatly this experience has affected your frame of mind… I'll hold back and try to listen in… but don't be surprised if I'll ask for a detailed recount… I might not have the concentration to hear at this length… and we should try to conserve energy as well… but your detailed –'
"Yeah, okay. I'm going now."
Geez… I actually sort of miss the easy, thoughtless quiet of this reality before Koizumi turned up. In a sense, it was another missed opportunity, life without him, but now that he was here… I guess I'll have to get into my normal mindset and try and see if I can gleam some sort of pattern or clues from Haruhi's behavior.
It's going to be a long day, isn't it? Par for the course though, isn't that?