A/N. Confession time: I love Lucius Malfoy. I really, really do. If I could change this to a Hermione/Lucius fic this late in the game I SO would - but fret not, my dear readers, that will not be happening. For those of you who have read my other completed fic, I will not but be "pulling a Prisoner" this time around (as some of you have phrased it in PMs expressing concern). No last-minute pairing switches.

But, I digress. I just...love Lucius Malfoy. Well, I like YOUNG Lucius Malfoy, mostly because he reminds me of a more civilized Draco. And, well...I love Draco, too. The Malfoy men are just fucking awesome, can you blame me?

So today I was thinking about the very last chapter of this story (as all writers do) and I have decided that in the epilogue the Golden Trio WILL make an appearance - and not just as babies. I thought you all would like to know this to have something to look forward to when the end comes.

I've done some calculating. I think we're in for, maybe, another twenty chapters. This number is subject to change. I am happy to hear the majority of year are happy to have this piece of fiction be nice and long (:

On a completely unrelated side-note - I dislike Lily. Not that you all don't know that already, though.

ENJOY!

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Six: And All I Loved, I Loved Alone

"I am yet to full understand why it is that every man in my life absolutely refuses to cut his hair," Hermione said as she sat in the restaurant with Lucius Malfoy who was currently sporting platinum hair that was nearly to the base of his neck.

"Are there many men in your life?" Lucius said with an air of teasing as he snapped for the waitress to come over.

"Don't do that," Hermione said instead. "It's rude, snapping your fingers like that. She's a human, not a house-elf."

"She is a waitress," Lucius said. "She will tend to us when I summon her. It is her job - a lowly one, but a job nonetheless."

Hermione sighed. "You're a lost cause. Anyway, I was just saying that I there is this memo that is sent out to every man I know that advises you all to let your hair grow to your shoulders?"

Lucius wrinkled his nose. "Shoulder-length hair is tacky. Mine will be longer."

Rolling her eyes, Hermione ignored him and said, "I'm serious. You, Severus, Sirius, and Remus. James - thank the gods - trims his otherwise he'd like a porcupine with all of it sticking up. Doesn't Narcissa like it better when it's short?"

"Why should I care what Narcissa thinks of my hair?"

"Oh, well, I don't know," Hermione said mockingly, "maybe because she's your wife?"

Lucius raised one pale eyebrow and said, "It is my hair. You do not see my advising her what to do with hers."

"Shouldn't you care about what she thinks about how you look? And don't you care how she looks?"

"Hermione, while I admire my wife," Lucius said with exaggerated patience, "we do not consider frivolous things such as how the other looks. She is beautiful yes, but it was an arranged marriage, as you remember. It is not as if we possess the acclaimed 'adorable' or 'loving' idiosyncrasies the rest of you tossers with your pursuit of 'soul mates' and 'the one' seem to be so bent on. It's absolutely sickening."

"Careful, Lucius," Hermione said. "Talk much more like that and I may think you were a romantic."

Lucius sneered and snapped his fingers for the waitress again. "What is taking this cow so long?" he grumbled in frustration.

Finally their waitress came over with a jolly smile and opened her mouth to ask us for our orders, but instead Lucius said, "Tell me, miss, how has the famine affected business in this establishment?"

The girl's brow furrowed and she said, "Um...what famine, sir?"

"The famine that has ravaged this country within the time it took you to walk from the other side of the room to our table."

"Lucius," Hermione hissed.

"And don't get me started on world war three," Lucius said dryly, sitting back. "It was all very dull."

Their waitress looked a mixture of hurt and annoyance, so Hermione said, "Please ignore him. He's having a bad...lifetime. A bottle of your best red, please, and I'll have a salad and the flounder. Lucius, what would you like?"

"A better server."

"He'll have the beef," Hermione said for him, handing the waitress their menus. "Rare."

The waitress, with tears in her eyes, hastened away.

"She better not get the order wrong," Lucius said, crossing his legs.

Shaking her head, Hermione was incredulous. "You're worse than Severus! And he's absolutely insufferable to take out to dinner!"

"Thinking about Severus," Lucius said, "I've become worried about him. He's isolated himself more than usual and hasn't been to the manor in quite a while."

"This is Severus we're talking about," Hermione said bluntly. "He's always preferred seclusion. When have you known him to be a social butterfly?"

As they spoke a new waitor came by with their red wine and poured it into their glasses. Lucius smiled victoriously at Hermione as if saying "I told you so!"

"Sometimes," Hermione said as the waitor left, "your powers of persuasion scare me. But I digress. Severus is just being Severus, you are looking too far into something that is nothing." She sipped her wine and found she didn't hate it, which was strange. The only reason she ordered red was because Lucius would have thrown a fit if she ordered white, but the ruby liquid was dry, yes, but nutty.

"At the risk of seeming overly cautious or sensitive, I wouldn't like to ignore this," he said. "Severus is, after all, the only person I consider to be a friend."

With a frown, Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Apart from you, of course," Lucius said with a smile that made it clear his previous phrasing had not been accidental. For such a humorless man, he did like to tease.

"So...what?" Hermione asked. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"I think he would be more collegial if you were to approach him, as opposed to me," Lucius said with a nod. "If I were to bring up the subject, he'd be suspicious and paranoid immediately."

"What makes you think that if I spoke to him he wouldn't be suspicious and paranoid?"

"Before the Dark Lord took you as his mistress," Lucius said, twisted the stem of his wineglass between his fingers, "I always had an inkling that you and Severus were...romantic."

"I was engaged to Sirius then."

"Still, it was just a hunch. And I thought, perhaps, one day you two would marry. But now that I know I was obviously incorrect and the Dark Lord has claimed you, I can still see that you and Severus are simply in tune with one another. Not something easy to do with Severus. You handle Severus better than anyone - because, let's be honest, no one handles Severus."

That, Hermione thought, may be the understatement of the century.

...~oOo~...

Hermione knocked on the door in the dungeons again. She knew Severus was in there, but he was just being stubborn.

"Severus!" she called out. "I will break down this door if you don't answer!"

There was no answer for a long minute before the door swung lazily open and a very hacked-off looking Severus stood on the other side. His black hair was twisted and hanging in his face, his dark eyes were narrowed, and he was wearing a t-shirt and trousers.

Hermione thought back on the years she knew Severus and realize she'd never once seen him in a ratty old, short-sleeved t-shirt.

"Am I interrupting something?" she inquired, though she knew she wasn't.

"Only with the very rare peace and quiet I have in this miserable hell we call life," he growled.

"I'm glad it wasn't something important then," Hermione said cheekily, inviting herself into his chambers. Severus glared at her and shut the door with what was obviously an attitude.

"What could you possibly want at this hour?" Severus demanded, gesturing to the clock.

"It's nine o'clock at night," Hermione said. "Hardly the dead of night."

"What. Do. You. Want?" he gritted out through clenched teeth and a curled lip.

"Lucius is worried about you," she said, getting straight to the point. "Says you've been more of a hermit than usual."

"Lucius is a fool," Severus snarled, skulking over to his favorite arm chair and practically falling into it.

"Yes," Hermione granted, "but he's right. You've been...dare I say...melancholy."

"Leave."

Hermione smiled. "No. Now, please tell me what's been bothering you."

"The only thing currently 'bothering' me is you," he retorted, crossing his legs.

Letting out a sigh, Hermione walked over and sat on the coffee table directly in front of him. "Is it because of the announcement?"

Severus didn't say a thing.

"I thought you were over her, Severus."

"I am," he hissed. "I just don't like seeing Potter so goddamned happy."

"Perhaps you could try finding something that makes you happy...or maybe, someone?"

Severus grimaced. "Typical of a woman to suggest romance would make me feel better at this time."

"I know. It was a stupid suggestion," Hermione admitted. "It's too dangerous for either of us to be with someone right now."

"No, it's too dangerous for us to be happy," he corrected her vehemently. "Happiness makes people sloppy and we cannot afford to be sloppy in our positions."

"But when this is over, you will find something to live for," Hermione told him. "I promise."

"I will be eternally unhappy knowing that Lily Evans will become a Potter," he vowed.

"Does it hurt more because you loved her or because you lost your best friend to the man you hate?" Hermione asked, honestly interested.

He hesitated before answering, "The latter."

Hermione nodded and then stood from the coffee table. Hermione walked over to his desk and absently flipped through the papers he was grading. The school year had just started and Severus was already assigning train-loads of work for his students. One of the students named Reghan Somersby had a larger-than-life zero out of ten. Poor girl was probably a first year Gryffindor he wanted to terrorize.

"Poor girl," she said aloud.

Before she knew it, she felt Severus's presence behind me. "She's an annoying Hufflepuff who sends notes to her friends in class, has the tendency to smile, and her name is absolutely horrendous. And on top of that, she isn't the brightest wand in the cupboard."

"You're cruel," Hermione said, putting the papers back down.

Severus shrugged. "Life is cruel. Now if you're done expressing concern about my emotional health, I'd appreciate it if you went on your way. I have papers to fail."

"Don't you mean grade?"

"With the idiots I'm teaching, it's the same thing."

...~oOo~...

The engagement party was that October and the Potters were hosting it in their very large manor house. They had a room they called the "Hall" which was like a spacious dining with wooden flooring. When you moved the table in the center, it became a dancefloor. The ceiling was made of glass windows so the stars could be seen and the clouds and rain.

Most of the Order was there and the Potters' extensive family. Hermione imagined the wedding would be very similar.

Hermione stood towards the back, keeping to herself and absently swaying to the music that played softly from the walls. It was the perfect background music for chatting. Across the room, she saw the biggest mass of people were collected around the happy couple - Lily was wearing a pretty green empire-waist dress with her hair pulled up into a chignon. James's hand was braced against the small of her back affectionately and he wore a handsome black suit.

The only people that didn't seem to be happy for the couple and not enjoying themselves were Petunia and Vernon Dursley. They stood close by Mr. and Mrs. Evans, but weren't smiling like the older couple. Petunia was fashioning a small, pregnant bump and Hermione grimaced at the thought that the family before her of sour-faced muggles could one day be the same ones who treated Harry like garbage.

Hermione wouldn't let that happen. Not this time.

"A sickle for your thoughts?"

Hermione gave a little jolt and turned to see Remus. He was wearing a rather worn suit with a frayed corner and one missing button. His hair was as shaggy as ever and his belt didn't match. But Hermione could not think of a more handsome sight.

Hermione said, "Oh, nothing. Just...Lily's sister and brother-in-law look horrid." She nodded in the direction of where they sat and Remus's gaze followed hers.

"Yes, Petunia and Vernon," he said, nodding. "Lily says they're quite the magic-haters."

"Petunia is jealous, is all," Hermione dismissed. "And Vernon is looks like a toerag."

Remus smirked. "Why, Miss Black. I've never known you to be so judgmental."

"It's true."

"Probably," Remus agreed. "So, where's Sirius?"

"Trying to get into Marlene McKinnon's knickers...again," Hermione said, pointing in the opposite direction where Sirius was charming Marlene pink.

"Again?"

"Marlene spent a night at the old flat," Hermione explained. "Nice girl."

It was quiet for a moment before Remus said, "You look beautiful."

Hermione looked down at herself. She wore a simple long-sleeved black dress that fell to her knees and a neckline that showed her collar bones but not much else. Her hair was pushed out of her face with pins and she wore ballet flats. In her ears were two silver wolves.

"I look like a nun," she said with a grin.

"A very fetching nun."

Hermione grimaced, but chuckled. "You're disgusting."

Remus was smiling though. "You don't look like a nun, you just look like my Hermione."

"So a bookworm with bad hair?"

"You're so fixated on that hair of yours, aren't you?"

"It's a disaster!" She tugged on a strand of the brown locks and twisted the ends. "Yours isn't much better. Come here."

Remus obliged, stepping closer and ducked his head when she reached up and began rearranging and parting his sandy brown mop. He closed his eyes and enjoyed her fingers on his scalp.

"Oh, dear," he heard her murmur.

"What? Did a clump fall out?" he joked.

"No, but I think I've found your first grey hair." Hermione's finger pressed to a small patch right by his temple. It was a very thin streak, barely noticeable, but very silvery.

"Oh, that's fine," he said with a shrug. "Bound to happen. Probably from the physical stress of transformations."

Hermione nodded and bent up to kiss his temple. "You'll be okay, Moony."

"Does this ever get you thinking?" he asked her. "James and Lily. I know we've talked about it before."

"No, we've argued about it before," she teased with a grin.

"Well, yes, but that's because you're so bloody stubborn," he laughed. "But I'm serious."

"No, you aren't. He is," Hermione said, pointing across the room to her womanizing brother.

"You are avoiding this conversation at all costs, aren't you? Resorting to Sirius's stupid puns, I thought you were cleverer."

Hermione smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "I just don't want to disappoint you again, because you know what I'll say."

"So if, right this second, I asked you to marry me, you would reject me?"

Hermione swallowed. That was the hard part. If Remus asked her to marry him, she was sure she'd either become so overwhelmed that she died or be physically unable to say no.

But she couldn't very well say that if he proposed she'd die or say yes. That was just silly. So she nodded.

With a heavy sigh, Remus shrugged. "I guess some things can't be changed."

"There are plenty of women here. Why don't you go chat up a pretty girl?" Hermione asked softly.

"That's what I'm trying to do," he answered quietly, crossing his arms and looking downward.

Hermione bit her lip to stop it from quivering. She felt a good, old-fashioned cry coming on. "Um...I won't be jealous anymore," she whispered, leaning close so he could hear her. "I promise, really. This time I won't be. I'll try really hard. And I won't call for you anymore and I won't...make it any more difficult. For either of us."

Remus wasn't looking at her, but instead staring forward. "I've tried moving on, Hermione. It didn't work."

"But this time I'll stay away," Hermione promised desperately. "You won't even have to see me anymore."

Remus sighed. "Maybe that would be better. For both of us."

Hermione's eyes stung and she nodded, feeling oddly detached from the situation. "You'll only have to see me at Order meetings, I promise. And even then..."

"I'll keep away," he agreed numbly. "I'll make sure to stay on the opposite end of the room."

Her head was still bobbing up and down mechanically and she cleared her throat. "So...well, there's no time like the present." She began taking slow steps backwards from him. "Um. You, Sirius, and James should still go to the pub, though. I'd hate to...ruin the fun. I'm...not a very good drinker...anyway." With every word her throat thickened. She tried clearing it again. "And, uh, if you need to come for Grimauld for anything, you're welcome in. The Floo, is...open," she finished lamely.

Remus just watched her with cold eyes and no smile even hinting at his lips. His jaw was relaxed and he looked uncaring. He gave a simple nod.

"So...bye," she said finally with a little wave before she turned and walked away. She walked, staring at only her feet in the opposite direction of Remus for quite a while before she quite literally crashed into two bodies.

"Good evening, Miss Black."

"We saw you walking by -"

"Well, more like jogging, really -"

"And thought you could use a smile -"

"And we've been known to light up a young witch's face -"

"So here we are," the two finished in unison.

Fabian and Gideon Prewett smiled identically broad smiles and Hermione couldn't help but laugh. But the laugh came out more like a sob. But indeed, they did make her smile.

"Was Lupin giving you a hard time?" Gideon asked, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating.

"Heavens, no," Hermione said with a weak smile. "More like I was giving him a hard time."

"Fiesty," Fabian said admirably. "I like that in a witch."

"I wasn't quite being 'fiesty' -"

"Somehow, I doubt that," Gideon said with a wink. "You're one of the rougher ones, you don't let anyone push you around. Good quality."

"Reminds us of our sister," Fabian added.

Gideon gave an exaggerated nod. "Molly's a brute, ain't see, Fabian?"

"Damn right, Gideon."

"Absolutely -"

"Terrifying," they ended in synchronization.

"Would you like a drink?" Gideon inquired. "You look like you could use a drink, love."

"No wonder she's upset with Lupin!" Fabian exclaimed. "The tosser didn't get her a drink! Some people have no manners." He shook his head dramatically.

"No, thank you," she said. "I'm actually an awful drinker. I get a little...mental."

A pair of mischievous smiles appeared before her. They said, "You really shouldn't have told us that."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Do you love the Prewett Twins, or what? 3. Predictions?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~