36) My Sweetest Friend

Riddick had lost count of how many times and ways he and River had made love. And that's what he had to call it despite the rampant sentimentality of that label. Saying they had sex was too neutral, coitus too clinical, fucking was just plain crude, not that he thought River would be averse to a good hard fuck once she was used to sex in general. So making love was really the only option left to him if he didn't want to use an even worse term. He didn't mind, it wasn't as if anyone but River could read him and she was, after all, a lady and thinking that they'd made love wasn't the worst thing he'd ever thought. It wasn't even the most sentimental.

River was asleep, curled into the warmth of his body. She smelt of honey along with her base scent of blood, steel and silk, as well as caramel and sex. He could smell his seed in her, his scent mingling with hers. Part of him was still amazed that she'd simply embraced the animal, that she hadn't minded the man not being in the forefront for their first time. Most women would have run screaming, not parted their legs and welcomed him. But River had been pretty adamant that the animal wouldn't hurt her. She'd said more than once that she loved both sides of him. Since the man had gotten shoved behind the animal he'd been able to see that the animal was just as protective of River as he was, and flat out adored her, maybe even more fervently than the man.

He rolled his eyes at himself, all that mattered was that he hadn't hurt River, hadn't frightened her and they'd actually succeeded in having sex. Though he did vaguely remember an interruption and Mal for some reason. He'd have to ask River when she woke up. In the mean time he'd better clean the slices across their palms and get that salve on them. Riddick grabbed a clean cloth and dampened it at the sink, gently cleaning River's palm of the dried blood. The animal seemed to grab him by the throat and he gave in to the urge, bending down to slowly lick and kiss her palm. Her eyelids fluttered upwards and those gorgeous dark eyes looked into his.

"Her mate takes care of her," River smiled. "She would do the same for him please." Riddick silently extended his hand and watched as she lazily kissed and licked the blood off his palm until the wound was clean. "She can feel the bond with him, blood, body and seed. Like the silver link," Her whisper was awed.

Riddick nodded, he'd known that the bond would be different with River than Jayne or Kaylee, as it should be. This was his mate, the other half of himself. They'd always have knowledge of each other, know somehow where the other was, if something was wrong. That River was a Reader simply made the knowledge more acute on both sides. He doubted he'd end up Reading people but he wouldn't be surprised if he had a few more insights than normal. And River might find herself noticing her senses were a bit more...fine tuned.

"Heart to heart and mind to mind," He reminded her gently. "You sore at all?"

"No," River shook her head as he smeared her palm with the salve that healed but would allow them to keep the scars and did the same with his own before bandaging them both. "Looking forward to shore leave, would like to borrow Wash and Zoe's idea of a bath with a tub. Play the Companion for my mate, and my mate bathe me."

"Yeah, Beaumonde could be all sortsa fun if we can find a good bathhouse," Riddick conceded with a smile. "Reminds me, did Mal try to interrupt us?"

River giggled and nodded, "Animal roared at him. Captain was very confused."

Riddick groaned and kissed her, "How long we been in here anyway?" He looked around for the chronometer and finally found it half covered with a quilt. "We been hidin' out in here for more'n eighteen hours?"

"Honeymoon," River giggled again, a light happy breeze against his skin. "She would like to continue the honeymoon with her mate please."

"Hmm... O woman! lovely woman! Nature made thee to temper man: we had been brutes without you. Angels are painted fair, to look like you." Riddick cupped her cheek in his hand. "Me too, but we'd better eat something, make sure Mal ain't preparing to pitch us off the boat, and check the bridge." He brushed a kiss over her mouth, "After that, I plan on putting my mouth on every inch of you River."

"She likes the sound of that," River grinned at him. "Riddick is a very skilled lover."

"Well you're all sortsa talented too Qīng Xiāng," Riddick kissed her once more and forced himself to get out of bed and get dressed.

Riddick looked up as Mal and Zoe entered the cargo bay, Jayne right behind them, "Cobh, Mal, Zoe." He nodded as he continued to shift and organize the crates in the bay. Wash had mentioned that the reason they were on Beaumonde was to deal with a set of twins and pick up some work and that having space freed up in the cargo bay would be helpful. Considering that Mal had been trying to get Riddick to join him on the meet when the animal had snarled at the Captain, Riddick figured he could at least get the bay set up.

"Rick," Mal looked at him thoughtfully. "Don't much appreciate you decidin' you weren't gonna do your job today."

"Yeah," Riddick shrugged. "You kinda ran into the animal again Mal."

"How did the animal get out," Mal folded his arms and rolled his eyes as River walked into the cargo bay and boosted herself up onto a crate. "Little one is this something you really need to be here for?"

River nodded, "My mate." She winked at Jayne who just grinned at she and Riddick and went up the stairs. Zoe was frowning at them but she leaned against the stair rail and waited.

Riddick sighed and leaned against the crate between River's legs so her hands could rest on his shoulders, "A week ago, Simon gave River a contraceptive." He told the captain. "We had to wait for it to work. After a week of waiting the animal basically snapped its leash when River and I got to bed. You kinda interrupted us."

Mal looked more than vaguely alarmed and his gaze zeroed in on River's face over Riddick's shoulder, "River are you all right?" He had a hand on his gun, "You need to see your brother?"

River's scent was rife with honey, tequila, cinnamon and caramel, "My mate would never hurt me. True love's the gift which God has given to man alone beneath the Heaven. It is not Fantasy's hot fire, whose wishes, soon as granted, fly; it liveth not in fierce desire, with dead desire it dock not die : It is the secret sympathy, the silver link, the silken tie, which heart to heart and mind to mind, in body and in soul can bind." She pressed a kiss to Riddick's cheek and he grinned up at her. "I am the only one who need not fear the animal. He has never hurt me, not even when he was doped at the Academy. Remember I told you this."

Mal nodded and his hand eased off his gun, "Why're your hands bandaged then?"

Riddick knew the captain was asking just to ask, to save a bit of face since River had so obviously not needed rescuing or his concern on her behalf. He shrugged, "River an' me bonded. It's a Furyan thing, blood, body and seed. Means we're as good as married."

Zoe was surprised, he could smell it even though she was across the bay, "You mean when you told Wash and I about that you weren't joking?"

"I don't joke 'bout blood Zoe," Riddick told her. "Me an' River, both wanted by the Feds, can't have you marry us Mal. An' we won't have Book do it, that'd be pretty damn hypocritical."

River's sweet voice was gentle, "We're not like you and Wash, Zoe." She explained with a smile that Riddick could hear. "We're not simple. Riddick and I, even if we could somehow get...clear of our pasts... we'll never be normal. Too much has happened to us."

"Right," Mal was a little confused but Riddick could tell he was rapidly coming to the conclusion that he really didn't want the details. "So you an' River are...for all intents and purposes married. And when I interrupted you the two of you were in the middle a consumatin' that marriage." He sighed, "Rick do you think it's likely that this'll happen again? I mean at some point we could have an emergency when the two of you are occupied."

River laughed and Riddick couldn't help but chuckle, "Nah Mal. Pretty sure that this set a circumstances ain't gonna happen again."

"All right then," Mal sighed and hit the comm. "C'mon up to the galley an' have somethin' to eat, we'll talk about the job we got after this two weeks is up."

Riddick grinned and turned to grab River off the crate, tossing her in his arms so he could carry her bridal style, "Never did get to carry you over a threshold."

Her laugh was like music.

River relaxed onto the couch in the lounge outside the infirmary and sighed happily. In the two weeks they'd been on Beaumonde she and Riddick had explored the city, found a bathhouse, and picked up several pieces of cortex equipment secondhand. One of them was an old medical cortex that she was refurbishing for Simon, it would help in the infirmary. Simon was actually quite a help with that one, and he'd asked Kaylee if she'd like to work on it with him.

River got the impression her mate was keeping Simon at a formal distance from Kaylee for reasons other than earning an apology. Riddick had listened to her talking about Simon and his life plan and she'd Read that her mate wanted Simon to be absolutely sure of his feelings before he was allowed to be close to Kaylee again. It wouldn't do for Riddick's mèi mei to have her heart broken regardless of how much Riddick liked Simon. River had simply kissed her mate in response to that thought. Let the rest of the 'verse live in fear of the convicted murderer Riddick, she knew the man who would stop at nothing to protect his family.

Her mate was outside at the moment, talking with Wash and Kaylee about the primary buffer panel, again. Mal was with Zoe discussing the details of the upcoming job since he didn't want to hear about the buffer panel anymore. Simon and Book had gone shopping; Book was attempting to teach Simon about food and cooking. River wished the Shepherd luck, because she was pretty certain Simon was hopeless in the galley unless the food was prepackaged.

River's eyes flicked over the edge of her book and she tilted her head, Jayne was...worried. He wasn't lifting, wasn't sharpening his blades, he was just sitting on the steps leading to the lounge and worrying. "Jayne?" She called his name softly, questioning. He was a friend, if he was worried, something was wrong.

He turned at the sound of her voice and stood, entering the lounge to sit on the end of the couch. River drew her feet up and rearranged her body so she was sitting up to look at him. The big merc tried to smile, "HeyRiver girl. Doin' all right?"

River nodded, her eyes fixed on him, "She is well. Very pleased with her mate. But Shea is worried."

Jayne nodded slightly, his blue eyes dark, "Yeah... Jayne ain't... Jayne wouldn't much care but..."

She took a deep breath, breathing in Jayne's scent, oak leaves and gun oil, steel and stone. She didn't have Riddick's strength of smell or sight, but it was easy to label what she felt from Jayne with Riddick's scent markers. Their friend was truly worried, more about what she and Riddick would think than anything else, "But Richard knows Shea. He doesn't wish Richard to know all about Jayne."

The huge man heaved a sigh, "Yeah. Did what I had to but...ain't nothin' I take pride in."

River tried to be reassuring, "She and Richard have not led pure lives, do not sit in judgment of our friend." She reminded him, thinking of the deaths she'd caused in the Academy alone, a doctor, an orderly, guards and other inmates.

"Yeah, but Rick ain't, well, he ain't like me," Jayne shook his head, obviously trying to explain. "Always knew, Rick he don't bend to how other folks think. Useta be I didn't neither but knowin' I got folks at home needin' coin an' tryin' to find my girl..."

She nodded her understanding, "Made choices that were right or practical at the time but now are difficult to stomach when looked back upon."

"Yeah, that's the right of it. Ain't real happy 'bout the job bein' on Higgins Moon. Don't wanna get pinched. But..." He shook his head again words failing him.

River tilted her head and let her mind slip over his, against Jayne's thoughts, felt his worries, the anger at himself, and the fear of old troubles coming back to haunt him. "The thought of his former partner is bothersome," She said slowly. "Stitch took a fall." That was the polite way of saying that Jayne had pushed Stitch. She'd seen it clearly in his memories, Jayne trying his best to keep a crippled shuttle in the air, shoving everything not needful out the door. The gun, holster unsnapped on Stitch's hip, the knife no longer in its sheath on his thigh, a glint of metal mostly hidden behind a grimy forearm, and Jayne's decision to unload his partner. "Would have killed you," She said with certainty.

"I didn't know that for sure," Jayne shook his head. "Wasn't even thinkin' that when I pushed him. Just thinkin' a my own skin." He discounted any notion of self-defense as irrelevant and to a man like Jayne perhaps it was. He'd betrayed his partner and in his mind betrayal was almost unforgivable, "Just...know if Mal finds out he's gonna...well he's gonna be Mal 'bout it."

River gave him a half smile of agreement, "Cap'n can be self-righteous. With too much quickness ever to be taught, with too much thinking to have common thought. Will not let him be unkind to Shea." But that wasn't what Jayne was really worried about; his blue eyes were still dark with concern as he looked at her.

Finally he almost mumbled the question on his mind, "You don't... you don't think I'd, that I would, you know, to you an' Rick?"

She stared at him, truly surprised that he even had to ask, "Shea would never, ever, betray us." The Reader shook her head, "Never. Our Shea would cut off his arm before betraying his friends, his family."

He nodded, his eyes lightening slightly, "Yeah. Guess I'm not used to anyone seein' that."

River nodded, "Has worn a mask for a long time. The mask wasn't trustworthy. But Shea is."

Jayne tried to smile; plainly her words had made him feel slightly better, "Yeah, but it'll be hard to believe when Mal hears 'bout Stitch."

She shrugged, "Then we will be certain he does not hear. Jayne must stay aboard Serenity. We will find a reason. If Jayne is not seen then no one will know he is here."

He nodded his agreement, his expression thoughtful, something Mal would have been astonished to see on his supposedly dumb merc, "Yeah. An' really, only ones who'd recall me'd be Stitch an' maybe a guard or two. It's been somethin' like three or four years."

River nodded, "Best not to assume. To stay on the boat is best." She tilted her head, "Curious as to why Jayne would think Stitch is problematic. Would he not be dead?"

"Nah," Jayne shook his head. "Weren't tryin' to kill him. Just wanted him off. An' anti-aircraft had knocked us out so we had to fly low enough to ground. He'd a been stunned good, maybe broke somethin' but he'd a lived." He took a deep breath, "But the magistrate woulda caught up with him, we wasn't exactly stealthy in our getaway."

"Anti-aircraft," River grimaced. "Riddick hates those unless he's the one shooting them."

"Don't I know it," Jayne grinned at her. "Lost count a how many times he'd take over the enemy guns an' use 'em to shoot down their own ships."

River couldn't help giggling at the look of boyish glee on his face as he recalled the sight of a young Riddick shooting an oversized gun up at enemy skiffs.

Riddick smiled as he regarded Jayne. His old friend was sitting on the couch, looking absolutely miserable, and for the life of him Riddick couldn't figure out why until River tugged him aside and explained about Higgins Moon. "So you weren't workin' for Mal back then right?" He asked the taller man curiously.

"Nah, hadn't even met 'im yet," Jayne shook his head. "Why?"

"The run a bad luck you had 'tween lousy partners an' anti-aircraft ordnance was thinkin' you mighta had Mal with you," Riddick smirked.

"You ain't..." It was all over Cobh's scent that he'd expected Riddick to be at the least annoyed and at the most not a friend anymore.

"Cào dàn Cobh, you really think I'ma hold that against you?" Riddick shook his head, "You ain't done it to me or River. An' God knows you had your chance. I don't care what you done in the past. I know you. You'd never do that now, and even then you woulda never done it to me or to my woman." He was practically chuckling, "For one, you got more loyalty than that. An' two, you know I'd kill you if you tried."

Jayne relaxed, like air leaving a balloon the tension went out of him so quickly and River scolded him gently, "Did she not tell you her mate would understand?" She patted the big man's shoulder, "Jayne should believe her about these things."

The big merc shrugged, "Ain't used to bein' believed River." He reminded her, "But I dunno what to tell Mal."

Riddick shrugged and scooped up his woman to sit her on his lap while he lounged in one of the chairs, "We'll tell 'em you can't go onto Higgins Moon less he wants his merc to get pinched."

"Yeah 'cause Mal's usually reasonable 'bout stuff," Jayne groaned.

"He will be," Riddick wasn't in the mood to deal with a jail break on a privately owned moon, not when it'd be due to Mal not listening.

It took a little bit of doing, but eventually it was decided that Jayne would stick with the boat, do a few chores, while Riddick played the heavy for Mal. River was lacing on her boots and secreting away her knives while Riddick checked his shivs and half listened to the conversation Kaylee was having with Simon in the hallway. Canton was the factory town of Higgins Moon

"Come on, admit it, it's true," Kaylee was teasing Simon.

The doctor was attempting to refute her statement apparently, "No, I won't, because it's not. I use swear words like anybody else."

"Oh, really? See, I never heard you," Kaylee argued in her smiling way. "So when is it you do all of this cussin'? After I go to bed, or..."

Simon sounded a little nonplussed, "I swear when it's appropriate." Riddick nearly laughed at that especially when he saw River's eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Simon," They'd arrived at the cargo bay stairs and were standing at the top of them. Kaylee rolled her eyes at the doctor, "The whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate."

Riddick smiled at Inara as she crossed the cargo bay, pausing to kiss River's cheek affectionately and give him a smile before she began to climb the stairs towards her shuttle. Kaylee smiled widely at her glamorous friend, "Hey, there, Inara! Heading off for some glamorous romance?"

Inara's chuckle sounded like less like tinkling bells and more like a woman who knew how wrong things could go and had decided to enjoy herself anyway, "Let's hope so. See you two tomorrow. Don't let Mal get you into too much trouble while I'm gone." Her gaze was directed at all four of them and Riddick gave her a salute. He'd never seen a Companion roll her eyes before but Inara still made it look elegant.

"Bye, now. Have good sex," Kaylee chirped and Riddick couldn't help the chuckle that burst from his lips at the shocked look on Simon's face. River smiled and Kaylee blinked at Simon, "What?"

Riddick grinned and moved over to his mate, checking her weapons and enjoying the chance to run his hands over her body while she did the same to him. "Don't think Simon's ever heard that particular fare well before mèi mei."

"But that's a big part a what Inara does, so of course I want her to enjoy it," Kaylee seemed bewildered that Simon wouldn't want that for Inara as well.

"Oh, that it is," Simon shook his head. "Most women wouldn't be kind enough to express the thought is all." He offered a hopeful smile and Riddick grinned into River's hair. Simon was getting better at covering his gaffes.

Jayne trotted silently down the catwalk steps and took a look at River and Riddick, "Just wanted to say thanks for smoothin' this over with Mal." He offered quietly. "I figure I'll work on cleaning the hold, get everything set for when ya'll get back."

Riddick wouldn't have thought that his little core bàng jiār would take to his old friend so strongly but he could smell the affection River had for the big man, plums filled her scent just as they did when she looked at Simon. River stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Jayne's whiskered cheek, "Our friend and brother. He would not expect us to go out if we were on Osiris, would wish to protect us. We do the same for him."

Jayne smiled slightly and looked at Simon, "Doc, if yer goin' out, make sure you gotta knife or somethin' all right? We ain't gone over knife work so much but-"

"Don't worry Jayne," Simon smiled. "I doubt my presence will be required." Riddick heard Inara's shuttle disengage and noticed Simon had gripped the railing of the stairs just as Serenity began to land.

Mal came down the steps, Zoe and Wash following him and hit the controls for the cargo bay doors. Riddick nearly groaned at the smell. Simon practically winced, "Canton really...stinks."

The captain nodded, "That's what makes it such a great drop point. No one comes here that doesn't have to."

Wash wrinkled his nose and cast a sympathetic look at Riddick, "I vote we do this job really, really fast."

"Kessler's our man. He's holding the goods we're to deliver," Mal explained. "We go in, make contact. Easy peasy. Zoe, you're holding down the fort. Call ahead to Bernoulli, let him know we'll have his merchandise end of the week."

Wash looked around in confusion, "Don't I usually stay with the ship?"

Zoe smirked, "I outrank you." She kissed him, "Have fun."

Riddick took a deep breath and wasn't sure having a superior sense of smell was a benefit on this particular planet. The smell of the mud was so bad he couldn't smell anything past it, not even River. His mate moved towards him and slid her soft hand up his chest to his neck and jaw. "Thanks," He muttered as the scent of her skin reached his nose, a sharp relief. "I guess I better get used to the stench but I agree with Wash."

"Really, really fast," River nodded.

Simon was at the edge of the ramp, "So, this is a place where they...they make mud."

Kaylee nodded, "Yep. Clay really. You'd be surprised how many things it ends up in. Serenity's got more than a few ceramic parts in her." She grinned at Simon who blinked in surprise.

"Really?" Riddick would have bet money Simon hadn't ever even entertained such a notion. River's absent nod confirmed that much and he pressed a kiss to her forehead as he followed Mal and Wash out of the boat. The smell did not improve in the fresh air though he was starting to pick up other things, the effluvia of unwashed human bodies as well as the remnants of alcohol somewhere.

"Yeah," Kaylee's grin never faded.

"Huh," Simon was obviously considering that and possibly wondering how he could keep the conversation going.

Kaylee must have had the same thought, "Captain, don't you think Simon should come with us?"

"What?" The doctor blinked, "Oh, Kaylee, I don't, I don't think that..."

Book nodded, "You go on, boy. See the sights. Company moon like this'll be safe enough. If Riddick and your sister can walk about you should be fine."

Simon nodded, "WellRiver and Rick, they're..."

The shepherd smiled slightly, "Like to need a doctor if there's trouble."

Riddick rolled his eyes as Mal agreed, "I'm not going that far, Doctor, and you might maybe make yourself useful." River looked up at him with a sigh and he mentally agreed with the slight smell of irritated cinnamon, he and River would now have to keep an eye on Kaylee and Simon as well as the deal.

"How're you expectin' Simon to be useful Mal," Riddick did his best to keep the testiness out of his voice though he wasn't entirely successful in that.

Mal moved in a bit closer and lowered his voice, though no one was within earshot even if they had Riddick's hearing. "The management here don't take kindly to sight-seers, which is why we're..." He tilted his head as Riddick bent and inhaled the scent of River's hair but forbore comment, "...posing as buyers. There ain't a one of us looks the part more than the good Doctor." He gestured at Simon's clothing and face, "I mean, the pretty fits, soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over..."

Simon rolled his eyes, "All right. Fine. I'll go. Just stop...describing me."

Mal grinned and gave him a salute, "You're the boss, boss."

Riddick shook his head, "Mal if my brother gets hurt, you an' me are gonna have words." He said quietly. "Now can we move this along before my sense a smell is permanently warped by this chòu mǎniào moon?" His mood wasn't helped by Mal's chuckle.

Wash fell in step alongside he and River and offered him a dry smile, "Cap'n don't like to be dirtside too long. That should work in our favor this time around Rick. Don't guess the trick of eucalyptus would do much for you would it?"

Riddick shook his head, "Just boil my sinuses out another way." He shrugged, "More just got an itchy feelin'." He glanced at River, "Qīng Xiāng you gettin' any inklin's 'bout this rock?"

River was looking around, her dark eyes never still as she took in the landscape and shanty town, "This place bodes ill for us. Beware the ides of March."

"That ain't good news," Riddick muttered to Wash. "Keep an eye out all right?" Wash nodded and became visibly more alert as they walked.

It didn't take long for them to get to the work area, and they were almost immediately warned off by a foreman, "Area's employees only! You best be getting back to the landing unless you have business here!"

Simon hesitantly moved forward, "Yes. Yes, I, I'm looking. To buy some mud."

The foreman became all smiles, "Well, then." He chuckled, "Come to the right place!" He clapped Simon on the shoulder, leaving a muddy handprint for everyone behind Simon to see and walked off with all of them following Simon following the foreman, "Of course we can handle any volume here. We have over two thousand workers, mostly indentured. We pay them next to nothing, that way we can pass the savings directly on to you, the customer."

Simon was doing his best but he was clearly out of his element, "Savings? Uh, excellent. That's, uh, because, as I, as I said before, I'm going to, um, I'm going to be needing quite a bit of it. I, uh, I, I'm a buyer."

Luckily the foreman was still giving his spiel and didn't notice Simon's lack of expertise, "Yup, best of its kind. Uh, we mix it, we brick it raw, right here on the premises. Uh, you add the right catalyst, you kiln it proper, this stuff's ten times stronger than steel at half the weight."

Simon nodded, "Yes. Uh, I, I've heard, uh, great things, about the mud."

Riddick turned to hide his smile as he heard Wash whisper to Kaylee, "What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?"

Kaylee, true to her nature, defended her crush, "He's learning."

Thankfully Mal intervened before the foreman detected that Simon had no interest in mud beyond Kaylee's interest in it, "Excuse me, boss? I'm sure the foreman has things need attending. Why don't we wander a bit, take a look at the operation, then you can figure on whether we get an account here."

Simon seized on that like a drowning man would a lifeline, which in his case was a fair analogy, "Yes? Yes. Yes, we'll, uh, we'll wander a bit."

The foreman nodded amiably, "Fair enough. Come and see me when you're through." He walked off hollering at some worker threateningly and Riddick had to work to keep his shoulders semi-relaxed. He'd done enough hard labor at Slams to hate any sort of overseer or bully.

Mal cast a slightly wary look at him and gestured towards the shacks in the distance, "All right, let's head to worker-town. Find our man Kessler, get this job done."

"So why did Jayne have to stay on Serenity?" Kaylee asked curiously, "I ain't heard exactly."

"He pulled a job here, few years back, an' it went south," Riddick shrugged. "He's not a popular man on this moon."

"Surely they wouldn't recall him after years have passed," Simon protested. "He's not that memorable is he?"

Mal had stopped dead in his tracks and was staring at something near the entrance of the town. Riddick blinked while Wash's jaw dropped and River tilted her head. "I do believe they remember Jayne fairly well," Mal said faintly.

The statue was made of the ceramic, a legend at its base proclaiming 'Jayne Cobb'. It was a disturbingly accurate likeness and Riddick wished there was some way to tell Jayne to keep away from the open airlock of the ship.

It was Simon who succinctly and eloquently said what they were all thinking, "Son of a bitch."

Mal was still blinking up at the statue, "Rick."

"Mal," Riddick was still looking at the statue, vividly conscious of River standing in front of him, her scent blazing with silk and steel as her mind worked. He could almost feel her mind engaging, clicking over the scenarios and stretching out to touch on what could be and what had been.

"You know anything about this," Mal was still sounding a bit bemused. "You an' River were fair strong 'bout sayin' Jayne couldn't come on this job."

"Just know he pulled a job that went south," Rick replied, most of his attention still on River as blood entered her scent and a wisp of apples nearly lost under the stench of the mud around them. "He was pretty worried he'd get pinched if he spent too much time in the open."

Simon was staring as if hypnotized up at the statue, "This must be what going mad feels like."

Wash was considering the thing with his usual humor, "I think they captured him, though, you know...captured his essence."

Kaylee was entranced, "Looks sort of angry, don't he?"

Wash nodded, "That's kinda what I meant."

River tilted her head and as a whistle sounded in the background and the foreman shouted for shift four to start work. Her voice was quiet but clear, "Playing art critic avails us nothing." She leaned back against Riddick and he felt her worry as much as smelt the citrus. "We should remove ourselves."

Mal was still looking at the statue, "I don't know. This here's a spectacle might warrant a moment's consideration."

Kaylee moved slightly, "Everywhere I go, his eyes keep following me."

Riddick growled finally hoping to snap them out of this surprised daze, "C'mon gorram it. We got a job. An' as I understand it, my brother crossed the magistrate here. You cross the magistrate of a company town that's askin' for trouble. They ain't exactly the forgivin' sort."

River agreed, "Let us not do anything more to connect ourselves to Jayne. He is out of sight. Acting as we are cannot help us remain...discreet."

River took a deep breath and did her best to ignore the smell of the mud and the Mudders. Riddick's mind was racing; a busker was on a chair in the center of the bar they sat in, strumming a guitar. They'd taken a table and seats and mugs of something that smelled faintly noxious. River listened as Riddick thought aloud, trying to reason out the significance of a statue of Jayne in the middle of Mudder town.

"Kinda don't make sense, statue a Jayne," Her mate was muttering. "Qīng Xiāng," He pressed his nose to hair again and she could feel his relief at the brief respite from the stench, "You got any notion explains this? Jayne didn't have a clue 'bout all this?"

"Nothing my Lù duān ," River shook her head. "His only worry was 'gettin' pinched'." She left out Jayne's larger concern over what they might think of his loyalty. "Doesn't make much sense," She added with a frown.

"Won't argue with that," Mal was just as befuddled as he'd been outside, and looking at River and Riddick curiously. "I'm mighty interested in the why of it though."

River tilted her head, "Illumination is at hand." She murmured and sighed. "Not sure..."

Riddick's big hand rubbed her thigh encouragingly, "S'all right tiān shǐ we'll figure it out, eventually." He added in a dry voice. He watched in amusement as Wash took a drink.

The pilot gagged and spat out what was in his mouth, "Zhe shi she me lan dong xi?"

River shrugged, she'd refused a mug and so had her mate. Riddick chuckled, "'Cordin' to Jayne they call it 'Mudder's milk'." He smirked as Wash gagged, "All the protein, vitamins, and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol."

River smiled, "It's why Rick and I aren't drinking. Animals don't like it."

Wash had a look on his face as if something had died in his mouth, "It's horrific."

River smiled slightly as she listened with half her attention to the minds around her while Riddick kept an eye out for their contact. Mal was doing the same thing but also drinking so he really couldn't be counted on to be totally observant. Simon was about to say something informative but also completely irrelevant to the situation. "O that men should put an enemy in their mouths, to steal way their brains," She murmured.

Sure enough her big brother sipped the Mudder's milk thoughtfully and remarked, "Well, it worked for the Egyptians."

Wash blinked at him, "What's that?"

Simon elaborated, information and intellect was where he felt the most comfortable, if he wasn't fitting in with his surroundings, at least he could speak of something he was familiar with, "The ancient Egyptians, back on Earth-That-Was." He explained, "Not so different from the ancestral form of beer they fed the slaves to build their pyramids. It's liquid bread. Kept them from starving and knocked them out at night so they wouldn't be inclined to insurrection."

"Wow, Simon. That was so..." Kaylee paused trying to think of something nice to say, "Historical."

River spotted the well-dressed man a bit before her captain, hearing Riddick's speculative thoughts on the man. A moment later Mal was murmuring to himself, his eyes on the same fellow, "What's a gussied-up fellow like you doing in a place like this?"

River felt more than saw someone staring and turned to see a boy behind them, his eyes wide. From the feel of his mind he'd been shadowing them since they'd seen the statue, "Zāo gāo." She muttered and felt Riddick stiffen next to her. "Shuǐ huǒ wú qíng," She murmured to him, "He has heard us speaking of our brother. Excited, fascinated." Riddick turned and snarled at the boy to find something else to look at and the kid ran. River sighed, nothing ever went smooth.

The nattily dressed fellow moved towards them and stopped at their table, "You wouldn't be looking for Kessler?"

Mal shook his head, "Just having a brew."

"I knew a Kessler," The well-dressed individual announced quietly.

The past tense caught everyone's attention and Mal tilted his head at the fellow, "'Knew'?"

The man nodded, "He was a good middleman. Low profile. Didn't filch." His voice was low, unhurried and wouldn't draw attention, "Last week, the factory foreman and his prod crew heard he was moving contraband through town. Gave him a peck of trouble for it."

River exchanged a look with her partner and they both sighed, change was never good on a job. Mal, in the spirit of optimism surely, asked the expected question. "What kind of peck was that?"

The news wasn't good, "The kind where they hacked off his hands and feet with a machete, rolled him into the bog."

Wash looked vaguely ill and took a drink from his mug before he realized what was in it. He made a face but took another before speaking, "They peck pretty hard around here."

Mal was still intent on closing the deal and River couldn't blame him, even if she'd rather scoop up the crew and haul it back to the ship, "Listen, my client off world is waiting for his delivery. If the goods are gone..."

River nearly cursed as her faint hope for a quick exit was dashed; the overly tailored fellow was shaking his head. "Not to worry. Your man's merchandise is here, safe in Kessler's hiding place. We just got to figure out how to get it across town without being seen by the foreman and his prods. I advise we all just lay low for a moment." He continued on his way, circling the room and leaving just as the busker began to sing.

"Jayne…
The man they call Jayne
He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor
Stood up to the Man and he gave him what for
Our love for him now ain't hard to explain
The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne

Now Jayne saw the Mudders' backs breaking
He saw the Mudders lament
And he saw the magistrate taking
Every dollar and leaving five cents
So he said, "You can't do that to my people"
He said…"

River cursed and covered her face with her hands, the words of her captain emerging from her lips, "It never goes smooth. Why don't it ever go smooth?"

Mal was regarding she and Riddick with raised eyebrows, "Um…Rick?"

Next to River, Riddick groaned, "Yeah Mal?"

"You or River got any light you'd like to shed on this development?" The captain was deeply confused and more than a little irked though now more than ever he understood why Jayne had wanted to stay on Serenity.

"Mal if ya couldn't tell from River's reaction, we don't have a tā mā de clue what this is all about," Riddick growled the words. "We done told ya what we knew. Hell, my brother don't know about this or he woulda told us. Think he'd let us walk inta this blind?"

River almost started laughing hysterically as Simon looked around in shock, "No. This must be what going mad feels like."

The singing went on around them, the entire bar joining in the chorus before the busker took over again,

"Our love for him now ain't hard to explain
The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne

Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and I
The man they call Jayne
He turned 'round his plane
And let that money hit the sky…"

River did giggle then, leaning into Riddick as he realized at the same time what must have happened. Leaning towards the captain her mate used her giggling to cover his voice, "Jayne said he pulled a job here, but he got hit by anti-aircraft ordnance. He had to dump everything. He must have dumped the money too. And the Mudders got it."

Wash, more than a little tipsy, looked at all of them with a grin, "We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm the hero!"

The Mudders finally finished singing with one last very loud chorus of, "The Man they call Jayne!"

River looked around at the slightly quieter bar, "Perhaps now would be the time to make a discreet exit?"

Riddick was frowning and River caught his unease, "Seem a bit quiet? Like there's a lot fewer people around?"

Mal nodded, "Lets head back to the boat before somethin' else happens. Last thing we want is them singin' 'bout you two."

Riddick shuddered and River nodded her agreement, "A most disquieting thought." She looked at Wash, Kaylee and Simon, "They will be all right?" She asked Mal.

"For now yeah, Wash'll keep 'em outa trouble."

"Who's gonna keep Wash outa trouble though," Riddick muttered as they followed Mal back to Serenity.

River grabbed Mal's arm and hauled him to a stop before they rounded the bend to Landing, "Excess of people are ahead, demanding their hero come out and play." She whispered. The cacophony both mental and aural was giving her a headache. She swayed and leaned against Riddick, "Hurts."

Riddick was scowling into the darkness his silver eyes easily picking up what she had, "She's right Mal. There's a crowd of Mudders in front of Serenity."

"Well we'll have to brazen our way through it," Mal sighed and began to push forward. River tried to straighten up and follow him only to be scooped up and cradled in her lover's arms.

"I've got you liàn rén," He murmured following Mal.

The captain was yelling, "Make way, comin' through. So help me if you don't let me get to my ship I'll have my gun-hand start carvin' pieces offa ya's."

River shuddered and felt Riddick's hands tighten on her protectively, "Anchor yourself in me River. Remember?"

"Yes," She immersed herself in his mind and took a deep breath.

Thanks to Mal's hollering and Riddick's extremely intimidating looks they were able to get onto the boat without too much trouble. Zoe met them in the bay a frown on her regal face, "I'm thinkin' we got ourselves a little hitch sir?"

"You might could say," Mal agreed. "Where's Jayne?"

"He's workin' on dinner, puttin' a lotta effort into it too, enlisted Book's help and everything," Zoe gave him a half smile. "He just said somethin' about bein' grateful he don't have to go out and risk getting pinched."

"Yeah well we're gonna have to ask him to do just that," Mal was having the beginnings of a plan in his head and River did not like where his thoughts were going.

"Richard, we will need to do work of our own tonight," She murmured in her lover's ear. "Cap'n wants to use Jayne as a distraction. We will need to be certain he is not taken tomorrow."

"All right," Riddick began to stride towards the stairs. "We're gonna break the news to Jayne that he's a hero," He told Mal shortly.

"Don't go to bed or nothin', might need you two," Mal commanded.

"Cào nǐ zǔ zōng shí bā dài," Riddick cursed and looked at the captain. "We been out in that stink all day. I cain't hardly breathe. River's exhausted. If you need the goods moved tonight you call me but if you try to put us to work again after this Mal, you an' me're gonna have some serious words 'bout what you got rights to expect a us."

River heard Zoe telling the captain, "River does look kinda beat up. And with his sense a smell Mal? Bein' out in that stink musta been like torture for Riddick. Give 'em some time to rest up. Ain't like we're goin' somewhere in a hurry is it?"

Jayne was hard at work in the galley, exchanging hunting stories with Book and grinned when they came in, "Hey you're back. We got the goods already?" His grin faded when he took in River being carried and Riddick's grim face, "Shǐ niào what went sideways?"

River was settled into a chair before she tried to answer Jayne, Riddick pulling down the teapot and some mugs in an effort to sooth them both, "Jayne dropped the payload on the Mudder town. The Mudders have come to see Jayne as a folk hero. Heard your name, heard you were here. They demand their hero come out to play."

Jayne looked horrified and on Jayne that was something to see. River thought idly that if Mal and Zoe could see her friend's face they wouldn't be so cavalier about the plan Mal was developing. "I ain't no hero," He was declaring just as Mal and Zoe joined them in the galley.

"No," Mal agreed with a shrug. "But I got a mob a Mudders says different. And for gorram sure there's no way we're gettin' off this rock with the goods 'thout some sorta distraction."

Zoe leaned against the cabinets as Mal sat down heavily at the table, "Cap'n figures we let you go with 'em, live it up at the bar, get everybody in a celebratin' mood. Shifts come off work an' they'll get to celebratin' too. Then we move the goods across town while everyone's with you."

"That don't take care a the guards, or the problem a gettin' Jayne back out again," Riddick pointed out grimly as he gave River a mug of tea.

"That's what I'll be counting on you for," Mal pointed at him. "Between you and River, 'spect you can handle knockin' out a few guards."

Jayne wasn't thrilled, "Hell, iffen I'd known you were gonna want me to go out an'…" He cursed in a low voice, "What if the fuss an' furor don't last until tomorra? What then?"

"An' the magistrate ain't gonna take kindly to Jayne bein' in town," Riddick pointed out with a scowl.

River took a deep breath and thought, "Magistrate will hear rumors today." She murmured softly and felt Jayne and Riddick's attention sharpen and fix to her words while Zoe and Mal weren't quite as observant. "Will take steps late tonight when rumors are confirmed. Probabilities indicate difficulties if Jayne is given a parade and a speech. Avoid if possible."

Jayne nodded seriously, "No parade and no speechifyin', got it."

Mal looked at the three of them curiously and Book came to sit next to Jayne. "What's this about a parade?"

"Public display would push the magistrate too far. He would try to make an example of Jayne," River explained, lying through her teeth. "If the fuss is quieter, he will try to take Jayne quietly, so as not to create a mob."

Mal nodded his understanding and Zoe looked at Jayne thoughtfully, "So we'll need you to stay in the bar tonight. Try not to get too drunk." The first mate admonished lightly. She looked at River and appeared about to speak but a sideways glance at her captain firmed her lips and Zoe just shrugged.

"Try not to throw our names around too much when you're braggin' on your exploits an' thrillin' heroics," Was all the captain said to Jayne. "Now kind as it was a you to cook a meal might be best if you put it all in the cooler and kept it for tomorrow when the job is done."

Jayne nodded, "Book, sorry to do this to ya but if you'll gimme a hand I can get to my part a the job sooner." He looked at Mal, "I guess you're wantin' me to let the crowd a folk outside carry me off to the bar?"

"Yeah, soon's you can, let's get everyone nice an' happy and soused," Mal agreed.

River watched as Jayne and Book put away the meal they'd worked so hard on and stood when he began to leave the galley, "Remember, he is a better man. Better man for Ciara." She whispered as she walked out the door beside him. "Rick and I will make sure that you aren't taken."

"ThanksRiver," Jayne gave her a sincere smile that was worth more than a thousand words of praise.

Author's Note: So here we are in Jaynestown and he doesn't seem too happy about it does he? We're going to see something of a departure from the episode here, mostly because Riddick is not about to let Jayne get pinched by the magistrate and also because the change we saw in canon Jayne has already occurred due to having Rick back in his life along with River and Simon. In my 'verse Jayne was pretending to be the hardcore merc we all saw on the show but without any real friends what he was becoming what he pretended to be. With friends in Rick and River and Simon to an extent he doesn't have to keep his guard up all the time.

I'm curious as to how all of you react and if you like the way I'm changing the episode. We've still got humor and oh dear, River and Riddick are up to something so Mal may start squawking. Oh, and we're going to get a look at River's animal. How do you think she'll behave?

Chinese Translations:

Qīng Xiāng - Sweet Scent

mèi mei - little sister

Cào dàn - Fuck

bàng jiār - lover/partern

chòu mǎniào - stinking horse piss

Lù duān - Luduan, mythical Chinese beast able to detect the truth

tiān shǐ - angel

Zāo gāo - crap/nuts/crud

Shuǐ huǒ wú qíng - Fire and water have no mercy - idiom. forces of nature beyond human control / implacable fate

tā mā de - fucking

liàn rén - lover/sweetheart

Cào nǐ zǔ zōng shí bā dài - Fuck your ancestors to the eighteenth generation

Shǐ niào - shit and piss

Script Translations:

Zhe shi she me lan dong xi? - What kind of rotten food is this?

Quote Sources:

Heart to heart and mind to mind - The Lay of the Last Minstrel - Sir Walter Scott

O woman! lovely woman! Nature made thee to temper man: we had been brutes without you. Angels are painted fair, to look like you. - Venice Preserved - Thomas Otway

True love's the gift which God has given to man alone beneath the Heaven. It is not Fantasy's hot fire, whose wishes, soon as granted, fly; it liveth not in fierce desire, with dead desire it dock not die : It is the secret sympathy, the silver link, the silken tie, which heart to heart and mind to mind, in body and in soul can bind. - The Lay of the Last Minstrel - Sir Walter Scott

With too much quickness ever to be taught, with too much thinking to have common thought. - Moral Essays - Alexander Pope

Beware the ides of March - Julius Caesar - William Shakespeare

O that men should put an enemy in their mouths, to steal way their brains - Othello – William Shakespeare