Bekah and Abilyn: Two of Hana's roommates

Angie and Kelly: (Mentioned) Two more of Hana's roommates

Jude: (Mentioned) Eli's ex-girlfriend

Tyson: (Mentioned) Hana's only date in Dauntless. (Not a good experience)

Thank you as always to Bahrfamily who first read this chapter as a spoiler BEFORE I started publishing Dauntless Gray. Thank you for reading it, giving your option, rereading it, editing it, rereading it and re-editing it, again, and again and... most importantly for NOT letting me change who asks her the Unexpected Question…

The reviewers who responded on who Hana would end up with all said Eli. The poll on my profile was split evenly. I'm taking down the poll as soon as I finish posting this. Thank you to everyone who responded. It was interesting to see what everyone thought.

And thank all of you who have hung in there waiting to know the answer…

36 An Unexpected Question

I stifle a yawn and pick up my breakfast tray. "I started the overnight shift last night," I excuse myself from the table. "It's bed time for me."

"Go right ahead and climb in bed," Bekah smiles. "Leeann had to be at a breakfast meeting; Angie is working breakfast and lunch. I'm headed straight to work."

Abilyn laughs. "Kelly's already at work, and I'm headed straight to work, too. No one will bother you from our side, either."

I yawn again and nod. "Sounds good."

"Night, night!" Nick calls to me as I walk away from the table.

My favorite shift is the overnight shift; it's just that the first few days after I move to it, I'm exhausted. Sometimes I wish they would just put me on it and leave me on it.

It doesn't take long to get back to our apartment. I slip off my shoes at the door. Leeann always teases me about that habit. Maybe it is a bit Abnegation of me, but I also hate shoes. So I leave them by the door, just out of the way.

I am making my way through the shared common area back to where we sleep when there is a knock on the door. I want to ignore it and keep heading to bed, but my Abnegation training wins out by reminding me that this would be selfish and rude. I turn back around to the door. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over the things that were engrained into me as a child.

I don't know who I expect to see standing at the door. I just know it isn't Eli. I press my cheek into the edge of the door as I greet him. "Hi."

"Hi," he replies, as he plays with the ring in his mouth. Abilyn has privately informed me that this is a sure sign he is either nervous or thinking about something. "Look, I know you are trying to get to sleep, but…" he swallows hard. "Can I talk to you real quick, while no one else is around?"

I nod and open the door farther so he can come in.

He looks around the room almost like he's never seen it before. He walks to the couch and sits on the end of it closest to the recliner. I sit in the recliner, tucking my feet up under me.

"Hana, before I go any further, I want to check on one thing."

"Okay," I look over at him, "what do you want to check on?"

"You and Nick."

"What about Nick and me?" I ask, puzzled.

"Were you… are you really interested in each other, or not?"

I stifle a groan. Not this again. I thought we had this cleared up already. "Nick and I are friends. That's all. He offered to help protect me when Jude…" I let my sentence trail off. We don't need to rehash Jude's threats and actions towards me.

He nods. "That's what I thought, but I had to check, I had to be sure before…" He plays with his lip ring again, and then abruptly stops. "Because if you have any interest at all in Nick…"

"I don't." I assure him again.

"I didn't realize this was going to be this hard," he mutters. Suddenly, words I never expected seem to spill from his lips. "Hana, you fascinate me. There is something about you that makes me want to get to know you better. I…I…" He takes a deep breath. "You and Leeann are friends, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that, or the fact that you and I are friends, so if you say no, there are no hard feelings."

I must look as puzzled as I feel.

"I'm messing this all up." He rubs his face with both hands.

My Abnegation smile comes out.

"What are you thinking?" he suddenly asks me.

I blink a couple times. "What?"

"When you smile that little smile, I always wonder what you're thinking."

"It's an Abnegation habit." I shrug. "It's supposed to put people more at ease."

Eli nods. "Usually it does, but today…"

"Why is today different?" I ask automatically.

"Because today I'm too nervous," he answers quickly.

Puzzled by his answer, I let the next questions tumble out. "Why are you nervous?"

"Because I want to ask you out, and I don't know how to do it." The look on his face when he realizes he said this out loud is priceless.

I take a deep breath, unsure of what to say. This is Eli, and if I'm honest with myself, I've wanted to hear him say this almost since I jumped the rail in the stairway. However, this is Eli, and I've seen who he dates, and the way he dates. I'm not that kind of girl. I can't do that, not even for him. I just look at him for a moment.

"Look, I know that wasn't the best way to tell you. I just…" He takes a deep breath and starts over again. "Hana, you are different from anyone I've ever met. I find myself wanting to get to know you better. I know what you've seen of me and dating. That's not what I have in mind for us."

"What do you have in mind?" My voice is soft, but hopeful. If we can find a way to do this, that I am comfortable with…

"That's the problem: I don't know for sure. I don't want you to change, and I've already heard the story of you and Tyson."

I find myself blushing at the mention of my one and only date in Dauntless.

"I know I… " Eli looks deep into my eyes, as if he's trying to burn this next statement into my brain. "When I heard about it, I wanted to strangle him. I couldn't believe he thought you would just…" Eli doesn't finish the sentence, and I'm glad. I really don't want to think about Tyson and what happened right now.

"So what are you thinking?" I say quickly, to steer the conversation away from Tyson.

"I don't know for sure. I know I want to spend time with you and get to know you better. After that," he shrugs, "I guess it depends on what happens when we get to know each other."

I nod slowly. What he's describing, I can probably handle.

We are both quiet, but it's a comfortable silence. Not at all awkward like it was on my date with Tyson.

"How do members of Abnegation date?" he surprises me by asking.

"Dating in Abnegation?" I laugh. "Compared to Dauntless, I'm not sure there is such a thing. Usually, if a boy is interested, he finds a way to work on the same volunteer projects that she does. They get to know each other while they work side by side. After a while, her family -or if she's a transfer, her sponsor or friends- will invite him over for dinner so they can get to know him too." I shrug.

"Well, that won't exactly work." He smiles. "Dauntless don't volunteer, and we already eat most meals together." We are both quiet for a couple of minutes.

He breaks the silence by saying, "I guess I should start off by asking you if you're interested in getting to know me better, too."

I take a deep breath, but find out I can't speak, so I nod, then I find my voice. "I am."

Eli's wide grin breaks out on his face for the first time on since he walked in. "So I guess that just leaves us figuring out how we do that."

I nod.

"How long are you on night shift for?"

"Three weeks."

He plays with his lip ring while he thinks. "I can go in late, the day after tomorrow. Would anyone notice if you didn't come straight here after breakfast?"

"I doubt it."

"Then take a day to think about it. How would you want to do this? What would it look like for you? I'll do the same, and I'll meet you at the net after breakfast, the day after tomorrow, and we'll talk there." He stands up.

I stifle a yawn. "You could just come here," I say, as I stand up with him.

"I could," he agrees, "if that's what you want."

I think about it for a moment, but I realize that if we come back here, I'll be more tired than if I'm not at home. "No, I'm more likely to fall asleep here." I chuckle. "I'll meet you at the net."

We walk together to the door. "Hana," he pauses with his hand on the knob, "I know you aren't Jude. That's not what I'm looking for with you."

He opens the door and leaves before I can respond, closing the door behind him. I place my hand on the door and lean my forehead on it. I'm exhausted, but I think it will be awhile before I can sleep.

When I lay down, my sleep-muddled mind keeps replaying the conversation. I fascinate Eli. He fascinates me. He wants to get to know me better. I want to get to know him better. He doesn't want to take me to the Chasm and… My thoughts stop there for a moment. He wants me to be comfortable. What would make me comfortable with dating in Dauntless? I finally fall asleep without answering that question. I sleep through lunch and don't wake up until Leeann comes in. "Why are you still in bed?" she demands.

I blink myself awake and look at her. "What time is it?"

"Dinner time." She looks at her watch. "At least, it will be in about twenty minutes."

I spring out of bed. "I need to take a quick shower." I start looking for something to wear in my closet. Usually I just grab something, but today I find myself wondering what Eli will think of everything I pick out. I don't have time for this, but I want to look good for him. Inspiration hits me. "Leeann, can you pick something out for me while I'm in the shower?"

"Really?" She sounds excited by the prospect. She's offered to do that for me many times, and I've always turned her down.

"Really. I'm running late," I toss over my shoulder as an explanation while I head into the bathroom.

There's an outfit waiting for me when I get out of the shower. I look at it in surprise. They are my clothes, but I never would have thought to put them together. I dress in record time, but Leeann was already gone when I got out of the shower, so I walk to dinner alone.

I never dreamed it would be so hard just to make myself walk into the cafeteria. I wonder if he's there already. I wonder if I should sit by him. I wonder if I should ignore him. I wonder what I'll do if he isn't there. I wonder what I'll do if he is. It takes a deep breath and the sound of a crowd of people behind me to make me walk in.

There are two obvious seats for me to take at our table. One is beside Leeann. The other is beside Eli. Yesterday I would have sat by Leeann; today I want to sit by Eli.

I sit by Leeann, who sits across from Eli. Until Eli and I have a chance to talk, I figure it's best that I just keep things the way they normally are.

After I finish breakfast, I excuse myself and head towards the net. Eli left about five minutes before I did, so I'm assuming he'll be there waiting for me. I turn around once, to make sure that no one can see that I am not heading back to the apartment. No one I know is in sight, so I head straight to the net. I head straight to Eli. I'm nervous. I have a vague idea of what would make me comfortable in mind; I'm just not sure he'll go for it.

The darkness in the tunnel to the net isn't comforting. It makes me a bit jittery as I walk through it. It may be morning, but I'm completely underground here. There's no natural light, and the soft blue lighting is designed to not quite reach from one area to the next. I guess it is so that you must be brave to go this way.

I know today I have to be.

I pause when I almost reach the open space of the net. I take a deep breath and adjust my clothes to make sure everything is just right. I try to calm myself down by reminding myself, it's just Eli. Then I realize that is a mistake. What is making me nervous is the fact that it is just Eli, and we're here, alone, to talk about dating, of all things.

I take a deep breath and force myself to walk through the last dark space to the net.

When I can see him, Eli is pacing by the net. Maybe he's as nervous as I am. Is it a good thing if he is?

He stops pacing as soon as he sees me and smiles. "I was hoping you wouldn't change your mind."

My Abnegation smile slips out as I shake my head.

"Look," he starts quickly. "I realized one big thing in the last day that we need to figure out." He looks at me and takes a deep breath. "Leeann's really your only friend here, isn't she? I mean…" he suddenly seems to be tripping over his words, "all of your friends are the same as hers, too."

I nod. "Except for Carly at work, and we don't do anything but eat cake together after work occasionally."

"Here's my concern." There's a quick pause while he plays with his lip ring. "If we try this, and we decide we're better off as friends, Leeann's going to feel like she has to pick sides. I don't want to make her do that."

I've also had the thought that if she ever felt like she had to pick sides, she'd pick him.

"So, here's the first thing I propose," Eli grins. "We don't tell them."

I think for a minute. "You think we can manage that?"

"I think it will be tricky, but I think we can manage it, at least for a while." Eli nods. "There are a few places around here that people don't go to often. This is one of them."

I look around and nod. "I think that is a good idea."

Eli looks relieved that I've agreed to this. "My next thought is…" He pauses and plays with his lip ring again. "You aren't used to… I mean, you've never…" He sighs, "You were Abnegation. I've obviously noticed you stiffen up any time someone touches you. No matter how innocent or accidental it is."

I shrug. "I'm not used to it."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable. So, I had thought, I mean, I figured we should clarify…" he runs a hand through his hair. "I've never had problems speaking to anyone like I do with you. Hana, I'm just going to say what I need to say. I don't want to embarrass you, or make you uncomfortable. If I do, let me know, and I'll apologize when I'm through."

I nod.

"In Dauntless things can get physical pretty fast. I know that's not what you're going to want, so any touching, you're going to have to start. I want you to be comfortable, so no matter how much I may want to, I'm not even going to hold your hand until you take mine."

His eyes hold mine. We just look at each other for a couple of minutes. This is more than I hoped for.

"You set the pace on this. I want you to be comfortable with whatever we do. If this doesn't work out, I don't want you to be upset and unable to be around me because of something I've done."

I can't imagine feeling that way, but… I see his point. "I can handle that."

Eli looks relaxed for the first time since I came in here. "What thoughts do you have?"

I shrug. "I think you've already covered my biggest concerns."

"So…" There's vulnerability in his eyes. "Do you want to try this?"

I take a deep breath. I can't think of much I've ever wanted more. I nod.

Eli grins. "I know you've been up all night. How tired are you?"

"A little, but…" I tell myself to be honest and brave, to finish the sentence, "I'm good for an hour, if you don't have to run to work."

Eli grins even wider. "I was hoping to have some time with you."

So for the record. If you know Allegiant, (Windchimed, you're excused from this. Anyone who spends 19 months of their life and writes over 300,000 words because they dislike a book that strongly isn't expected to know an obscure part of it) the answer to who Hana ends up with has been in front of you the whole time...

From Allegiant Chapter 51 Tobias

Hanging crookedly next to me is a picture of the family—Zeke as a toddler, Uriah as a baby, balancing on his mother's lap. Their father's face is pierced in several places, nose and ear and lip, but his wide, bright smile and dark complexion are more familiar to me, because he passed them both to his sons.

There was a reason Eli played with his lip ring so much!

And the rest of the piercings are coming...