Never Letting Go

When Merlin didn't reply to his question Arthur took a step towards the bench which resulted in Merlin getting to his feet and moving away, keeping the distance between them that Arthur so desperately wanted to cross. "Say something," he pleaded and clenched his hand into a fist to stop himself from reaching out. So many times he'd hallucinated this very moment, well it tended to happen when Arthur was alone in bed but Merlin was still always within reach and watching him. However he never spoke and that was all Arthur would need to confirm that Merlin was alive. "Please say something so I know this is real."

He didn't understand why Merlin wasn't speaking if he was really here. Arthur could see the sadness in his eyes, the stiff posture he held and the way he never quite looked at Arthur directly. What had happened to Merlin in their time apart that would mean he couldn't even stand to look at him?

Deciding that enough was enough, Arthur covered the distance in a single stride and grabbed Merlin's arm. He had expected this to be another hallucination so when his hand actually took hold of something shock covered his face and he held on even tighter. "You're here," he whispered with amazement and then Merlin used his magic to force Arthur to take a step back, his hand releasing Merlin's arm in the process. "What the hell was that for?"

Merlin still hadn't spoken a word and that was when Arthur realised that it wasn't just sadness in his eyes, there was pure rage hidden in the depths of his blue irises. "Go back to work Arthur. I don't want to see you right now." He turned and began to walk away, except that's when his anger began to surface. What possessed him to do what he did next, Arthur wasn't sure.

His feet carried him forward and with little effort he grabbed Merlin around the waist to tackle him to the ground, however he miscalculated and they both ended up lying in the bushes. There was a few moments when you couldn't tell what belonged to who as Merlin tried to free himself and Arthur used his strength to his advantage to keep him pinned down to the ground. "Keep still!" Arthur demanded.

"Let me go!" Merlin said just before his hands were held above his head. Both of them breathed heavily as Merlin stopped struggling and Arthur glared down at him in frustration, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind when he had been chasing Merlin through the streets of London. Arthur had thought that he'd catch up with Merlin, bring him into his arms and tell him how much he'd missed him. How every night he stared at the empty side of the bed and wished that Merlin was lying next to him, smiling at him like he was the most important person in the world.

"Why didn't you stay for the appointment you made? Don't you realise how hard I've been trying to find you this past week? I've used every resource available to me, contacted everyone who could help me, used more money then I want to know about and this is what I get in return? My boyfriend running off scared the first chance he gets."

"I'm not your boyfriend. Things change in five years," he replied bitterly.

"Nothing has changed. Do you know how much I've missed you?" Arthur kept one hand wrapped around Merlin's wrist and the other he used to trail his fingertips across lips that he thought he'd never get to see again. Merlin tried to escape his hold but it was little effort, like he was beginning to give up the fight. "I thought about you every second, dreamt about you when I closed my eyes, prayed that a miracle would happen to bring you back to me."

"Clearly that wasn't enough," Merlin muttered.

"If you want to say something, say it."

He lifted his head and Arthur's chest tightened, their lips drawing closer from the small movement. "What I want is for you to leave me alone," Merlin whispered quietly and dropped his head back down onto the ground. "Go back to your friend back at the office and leave me here." His eyes closed and Arthur felt his body relax beneath his, if it wasn't for the fact that his chest was rising Arthur would have panicked.

"My friend? Do you mean Elyan?"

"How would I know? I've been gone five … long … years." The sadness had replaced the anger now and Arthur released his hands, only to find Merlin didn't move them. "I wouldn't blame you if you had moved on. No time has passed for me, I'm still the same guy I was when …" he drifted off and suddenly his hand dropped so he could press his palm against Arthur's heart. "Please just leave. I promise I don't blame-"

"Merlin, shut up."

There was no hesitation or resistance when Arthur pressed his lips firmly against Merlin's. His hand cupped the back of Merlin's head as he intensified the kiss and a small smile tugged at his lips when he felt two hands clutch at his shoulders. Merlin could try all he wanted to get Arthur to keep his distance but when it came down to it, they were destined to be together and their bodies knew that.

He had considered keeping the kiss simple and light, simply to remind Merlin that not everything between them was just physical. Except the more he got to taste Merlin, feel his soft lips beneath his own, the more his body demanded more. Needed more. Especially with Merlin's hands clutching at him like he was the only thing keeping him earth bound and it reminded him of the night they'd spent in his tent before he died, how Merlin had clung to him much like this and now that Arthur understood, he knew that it had been fear Merlin had been feeling.

Fear that he'd never feel Arthur in his arms again.

So Arthur ran his tongue teasingly along the seam of Merlin's lips as he felt a leg tangle with his own to force their bodies together, not a single inch of air between them and he could feel every breath that Merlin made as they kissed. He couldn't believe that after so many years of dreaming that Merlin could come back, he was. Beneath him wasn't just something his mind had made up or a fantasy he thought had come to life. This was real.

Merlin was real.

A small moan leaves Merlin's lips as Arthur's thrust is met by arching his hips off the ground and Arthur reluctantly parted their lips so he could take a moment to calm down. He was all for having a reunion with Merlin that involved no clothes and plenty of moans, however he didn't want it to happen in a bush. In the middle of a park for that matter. He wanted to have the option of doing this for many hours to come without the constant thought of someone catching them. "Why did you stop?" Merlin whispered quietly, a hint of nerves in his voice.

"This wasn't exactly where I wanted to … rekindle our love life," he admitted and couldn't help but notice relief cross Merlin's features as he opened his eyes. "Why don't I go back to the office, cancel-"

"Get him out of your office," Merlin suddenly ordered and Arthur frowned in confusion. "Have him gone in one minute or this ends here."

"I don't-" he was cut off by the sound of wind surrounding him and suddenly he found himself face down on the floor of his office. Pushing himself to his knees, Arthur ran his fingers through his hair and looked up to see Elyan looking out of his window at the city below. Hadn't he left yet? "What are you still doing here?"

"Arthur!" Elyan spun round to grin at him, "I didn't even see you come in. I thought I better wait to see if you'd come back. Your secretary decided to become suddenly mute when I asked where you had run off to." Arthur was going to start explaining that his secretary just had a grudge against him since he stood her up on a date when everything fell into place.

She had told him that Merlin had walked out on their appointment and when he'd been with Merlin, he had looked sad and hurt, like Arthur had done something so terrible that he couldn't stand to look at him. Adding to the fact that Merlin said things change over the years, it was clear that Merlin thought Elyan was something more then a friend and he wanted Elyan gone within the next minute. "Look, you better go."

"Excuse me?"

Arthur got his feet and tried to act casual, like lying face down on the floor was completely natural. "I've got a lot of work to do and-"

"I spent a lot of money getting here to see you Arthur, don't think for one second I can be chucked out of here without a real explanation." Elyan walked around the desk and rested his hand on Arthur's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze in the process. "I came here to help you, talk to you, be there if you needed someone to keep you company. I'm not like your other friends. I'm not going to leave you alone because you tell me to, I know it's just a cover up and truthfully you're really lonely."

"No Elyan, I'm not. Please can you just give me a few hours to finish some work and I'll call you later."

"What's suddenly made you want to get rid of me?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"Liar. Before you left you looked so happy to see me, like you had been waiting for me to come all this time." It sounded like Elyan was making up a fantasy inside his head. "Don't close yourself off-"

Arthur went to interrupt him, to tell him that the love of his life was about to walk through the doors behind him and unless Elyan was gone, he wouldn't be coming back. Except two words filled his mind and the look of fury across his face must have been quite a sight to see since Elyan takes a step back.

Time's up.

It was two weeks later when Merlin was tossing and turning in his bed.

He was surrounded by the battle again, the sound of spells being sent out and screams as the shadows attacked all he could hear. Except his gaze was on Morgause who had Arthur clutched in her grasp, her fingers curled around his neck and a small smile tugged at her lips.

"I never knew a Pendragon could care for another so deeply," Morgause commented and tilted her head to the side a little as if fascinated by Arthur's appearance, "Are you willing to die so Merlin does not?"

Arthur nodded, "Yes."

"Then you won't mind me testing your answer," her eyes flashed gold and Arthur's body went limp.

His own voice screamed out into the night as he awoke and he didn't even notice that he was no longer in his bed. Instead his arms were wrapped tightly around another and there were tears flowing down his face, the memories of seeing Arthur dead fresh inside his mind. "No," he whispered as his body shook. He couldn't imagine his life without Arthur, no matter how annoying and prattish he was.

"Merlin, what's the matter?"

Merlin buried his head into the person's chest and his arms slid from around their waist to move up to their neck, clinging on for dear life. He couldn't imagine life without Arthur, waking up everyday to face it alone and that's when he realised how harsh he'd been on Arthur. He'd had to deal with Arthur's death for a few minutes, Arthur had thought him dead for five years and the first meeting they had when Merlin got back had ended up in him running away. Just because he'd gotten jealous.

"Talk to me," the person whispered.

Of course he knew who the person was. Who else would it be other then Arthur? He might have been telling himself that staying away from Arthur was good but clearly his magic didn't agree. When he'd been in pain and had needed someone to tell him everything was alright, his magic had known to bring him here. Into the arms of the one person who had shown Merlin love and affection, not judged him when his magic had been revealed and fought to keep them together. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"For what?" Arthur asked as he ran his fingers through Merlin's hair in comfort.

"I didn't stop her in time. She killed you."

"I think you have it the wrong way around," Arthur responded and slowly pushed them up so he was now curled in Arthur's lap. "Just take a deep breath and calm down. I'm right here," he said quietly and pressed light kisses to the top of his head. "I'm never going anywhere."

"So you're not with that guy in your office?" Merlin couldn't help but ask as the tears began to slow.

"No Merlin, you're the only one I want to share my life with." Arthur forced Merlin to move away a little so their eyes met and a soft hand came up to brush away the last remaining tears. "You shouldn't have left me like that. You didn't give me a chance to explain and I have no way of contacting you, you know that. It's not fair. You have all the power in this relationship even though I'm one of the most powerful people in the world."

"You're also one of the biggest prats in the world," he teased and pressed a light kiss to his jaw. "I'm sorry I left you in your office like that. Freya said it was too soon to come and see you, maybe she was right."

"I should have been the first person you came to see when you woke up," Arthur's eyes studied his face silently for a moment and then a small sigh left his lips. "I've been so mad at you for two weeks and I was planning on telling you exactly how much when I next saw you, yet somehow you manage to make all that anger fade with just one look." Merlin's eyes closed briefly as Arthur pressed a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth, "The crying also helped."

"I'll remember that the next time I piss you off," Merlin lightly teased.

Arthur pulled away and there was hope glimmering in his eyes, "Does that mean you're sticking around? Cause honestly Merlin, I don't think I can take another separation. Either it's my stupidity, monsters, training, death or jealousy and now it's time to just get past all that and realise what we have is special."

"You've turned into such a girl," he couldn't help but say. However the words meant the world to him and he gently rested his forehead against Arthur's, "No more running away. You and me, this is it. That is if you can forgive me for being a jealous idiot? I'll try to tone down my tantrums if I see you hugging another guy."

"Right now I'd promise you the world if it meant you stayed with me."

"Always," he sealed the promise with a kiss and then pulled back when a question came to mind. "Do you know how I managed to survive?" To Arthur it would have been completely out of the blue but it had been bugging him since he'd opened his eyes. "I used up all my magic to hold Morgause back, I shouldn't have survived, barely did. Somehow I-"

"You really want to talk about this now?" Arthur asked as he pressed another kiss to the corner of Merlin's lips.

"Arthur don't you get it? I shouldn't be here. I should have died using that spell." He couldn't say another word since Arthur suddenly pulled him tightly into his arms, his hands now clutching Merlin's back.

"Please don't talk about you being dead. It was bad enough living through it …" Arthur pleaded quietly and Merlin gave a small nod. "I think I know why you survived though. I've had plenty of time to think about it and only one thing seems to make sense." Merlin didn't need to ask him to carry on. "When I killed Morgause with my sword, it vanished from my hand just before I turned to look at you. That sword felt like what it feels like when you use magic around me."

"I don't understand."

"Merlin, that stupid white cat was with me when you couldn't be there to protect me. It turned into a sword so I could used it against those shadow creatures without having any magic of my own and I took them out with one swing. What if that cat was something you made from your magic?"

"What if it was? Doesn't explain why I'm alive right now."

"Like I said, the sword vanished after I used it on Morgause. What if the magic you used to create it was enough that when your body was close to death, the magic went back inside you and kept you alive?" Arthur suggested and Merlin pulled away as he processed the information. Maybe Arthur was right. If he had created something using his magic and it had decided to come back to him when he had believed he'd run out, it could have been enough to just keep his body alive. At least until they found a cure.

That was when Morgana had died and that brief moment had been enough to bring Merlin back.

"You know you surprise me with how clever you really are sometimes," Merlin finally commented and brushed his lips lightly against Arthur's. "I wouldn't have you any other way."

I'm sorry this is so late. You have NO idea how hard it was to decide what should happen in this chapter. I've spent days staring at a blank page. Hopefully it's not as rubbish as I think it is.

Unfortunately there will only be one more chapter. I have a vague idea what I want to happen but if people want to put in requests, I'll see what I can do. So ask away :)

Thanks for reviewing again! I love reading every review I get. Especially since this story is coming to an end soon ...