Happy Monday, everyone, and thanks for your wonderful reviews! Here's a rather long chapter; I imagined this as being the sort of episode that might have occurred in the idyllic summer Bella alludes to at the beginning of "New Moon"…THREE DAYS!!!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the author of "Twilight," and Gaston Leroux is the author of "The Phantom of the Opera," which I quote a couple times in this chapter. (Maybe it's just because I have "New Moon" on the brain, but I just finished reading the latter book, and it seemed like the kind of story that would really resonate with Edward, but not in a way that would be at all desirable to Bella).
2005: Influence
Bella's POV
Alice is, without a doubt, both one of the nicest and most devious people I have ever met. About a week before the end of summer vacation, she decided that we needed to go back-to-school shopping—at least, I did, since Alice has about as many clothes as a small department store. Of course, knowing that I consider hours of being made to look at shoes and clothing a form of torture that I do my best to avoid, Edward would be coming with us. I was sort of appeased by this promise on Alice's part, since though I didn't want him to have to suffer too, with Edward along, the combined force of his and my disinterest in fashion might steer Alice away from any really ambitious shopping plans. Unfortunately, (for what I saw as my chances of actually getting to make the trip), Alice wanted to go to Seattle, and after a drive of that length, she thought I'd be tired, so she decided we should spend the night, never mind that the fragile human in question didn't mind sleeping in the car.
"What makes you think that Charlie's going to let me go?" I said skeptically. Much as he likes Alice, I couldn't believe that Charlie was going to be thrilled with her being mine and Edward's only chaperone on an overnight trip. In fact, I was fairly certain he'd be freaked out by the very suggestion.
Alice smiled serenely. "Just tell him about it tonight—he'd rather hear it from you than from Edward, and he'll happy you told him a week in advance. Trust me."
So, much to Alice's delight, I did what she told me, eventually. Edward could tell that I actually wanted to go to Seattle, if only to get a few new books, but it seemed like he was trying not to laugh when he went to say goodbye to Charlie a few hours after I'd talked to Alice.
"See you tomorrow, Edward," Charlie called without looking up from the TV—much to my relief, over the past few months, Charlie's thinly veiled suspicion had given way to cautious acceptance of Edward.
"Good night, Charlie," he called as he started out the door, but then he stopped, as if he'd just remembered something. "Oh. Maybe you should ask him tonight, since we want to go next weekend."
"Ask me what?" Charlie said, turning to look at me.
I remembered Alice's words and sighed—she'd obviously briefed Edward on what to do in this situation. "Alice wants to go back-to-school shopping, so she and Edward and I were thinking of going to Seattle next weekend."
"That's a long day trip," Charlie said, frowning, and I fought the urge to sigh again.
"We were going to stay overnight," I said, trying to sound casual.
Just as I'd expected, Charlie's eyebrows shot up, and his face went sort of pink. I could tell he'd completely forgotten that Alice would be with us: all his brain was registering was "my daughter, Edward, hotel room, unsupervised." Not a good combination in Charlie's opinion.
"Carlisle and Esme were going to drive us," Edward put in before Charlie could get a word out. "We'd leave Saturday morning and get back early Sunday, if that's all right."
Okay, now I had to swallow a laugh—Charlie had been prepared to shoot down Alice's idea in no uncertain terms, but now that Edward had played the trump card of parental supervision, he didn't seem to know what to say.
"Oh," he managed finally. "Okay then."
Edward said goodnight again and left—I knew he'd be back in a few minutes, once he'd returned his car to the Cullens' huge garage beside their house in the woods, so in the meantime, I went upstairs to brush my teeth and put on pajamas. When I finished, I went downstairs to tell Charlie goodnight and found him on the kitchen phone, his back to the door. Not really wanting to eavesdrop, though I could guess who he'd called, I started to go back upstairs when I heard him say—
"Okay, I just wanted to make sure the two of you didn't mind. Thanks, Esme."
He said goodbye, and I think I managed to look fairly innocent when I stepped into the kitchen.
"Night, Dad," I said.
"Hang on," Charlie said, leaning against the counter. "I just talked to Mrs. Cullen, and she said that she and Carlisle are happy to have you come with them. She also said they'll keep an eye on you three, and I know they will, but…you know…"
Oh boy, Charlie was trying to breach the topic of safe sex, never mind that I was about a month away from my eighteenth birthday. He was probably thinking that though Edward's parents could watch us during the day, night was another story—too bad I couldn't reassure him with the knowledge that this was only true of parents who needed to sleep.
"Dad, I'll behave," I promised quickly. "I'll probably be sharing a room with Alice."
Charlie looked visibly relieved by this idea. "Right. Good. Night, kiddo."
Edward was chuckling quietly when I joined him in my room.
"I cannot believe Alice," I said, but I was sort of giggling too as I climbed into bed and snuggled next to him, my quilt between us.
"I can," Edward said, smiling. "I honestly thought she'd told you they were coming, but in retrospect, I should have guessed she might want to trick Charlie like that."
"Well, he did say yes," I muttered, shaking my head at Alice's tactics. "He was going to say no, but he was so relieved to hear that Carlisle and Esme are going too that now he doesn't mind. At least, not as much—any alternative to the original plan was bound to seem better."
"We'll all be on our best behavior, me especially, and we'll have you back on Sunday in one piece," he told me quietly, kissing my forehead and laughing when I shivered. It was sort of ironic that though Edward spent every night in my bed, he never did anything that would have infuriated Charlie, minus the whole being in my bed thing. No, of the two of us, I was the more troublesome one, for all the good it did me; Edward was careful to keep me at arm's length when my erratic human hormones started to get the better of me.
The following Saturday was a typical warm and cloudy August day in Forks, and Charlie was already dressed for fishing when he came outside to wave as the five of us rode away in Carlisle's black Mercedes. He hadn't said anything about the upcoming trip all week long, but actually seeing Carlisle and Esme in the front seat seemed to help him relax. Having, to all appearances, raised five law-abiding kids sort of made them parenting gurus in his eyes, and I could see he would have a good time fishing today, pausing only occasionally to worry about me.
The drive to Seattle didn't seem to take long. I'd only known them a few months, but the Cullens already felt like my family. It wasn't just my relationship with Edward that helped me feel accepted: I was one of the few humans in the world who knew the truth about vampires, and that meant that whenever I talked to regular people, there were always things floating around in my head that I knew I could never, ever say. But with Edward's family, it was different. I never had to worry about letting anything slip in their company, never felt like I could accidently reveal a secret, since the secret in question was theirs. And to Edward's relief (and slight dismay) I wasn't like other humans, who usually felt that there was something off about the Cullens, something creepy. I loved being with them, which, to my mind, said a lot about my prospects of being a normal human in the future, but Edward didn't like to talk about that.
After checking into the hotel, Alice announced that the mall was our first stop. I reminded myself that I was a guest, that I'd wanted to come on this trip and that I was getting a free ride and a free hotel room, so I needed to be gracious about Alice's (I thought) overzealous shopping habits. Still, I was a little jealous when Carlisle and Edward slipped into a bookstore as Alice dragged Esme and I off to look at jeans.
Don't get me wrong—shopping with Alice is fun—but after about an hour or so of shopping with anyone, I start looking at my watch and wondering how much time can possibly be spent considering the merits of different colored shirts.
"Alice, why don't I take Bella to get something to eat and you can meet us at the bookstore?" Esme suggested at last. Alice, who was still contemplating two shirts that were the same style but slightly different shades of blue, looked up and grinned.
"Sounds good. After a break, we can try a few more places before we leave."
I tried not to groan as I followed Esme out of the store. "This is the third one we've been to and she thinks we need to try a few more?"
"Alice is very…dedicated when it comes to shopping," Esme said with a smile. "She and Rose once spent twelve hours in the Mall of America—I thought I was going to have to drag them out of there if I ever wanted to see them again."
I tried not to shudder at the thought of spending so many hours in a mall; Renée liked to shop, but jeez, not that much. (Maybe no one who was human had such superhuman shopping abilities). I actually was sort of hungry too, so we found the food court and I bought a big pretzel. Mentioning it to Edward was never a good idea, but as far as I was concerned, my days as a human were numbered, so I thought I should enjoy the occasional horrible junk food snack while I could.
"Is that…actually food?" Esme wondered, her tone polite but skeptical.
"I don't think there's any actual nutritional value, if that's what you mean," I said. "It tastes good though."
"Hmm," Esme said, shaking her head, but she didn't offer any further comment. While I ate, Esme examined the clothes I'd gotten so far: just a pair of jeans and a couple shirts, despite Alice's best efforts to get me to look at skirts and dresses. I couldn't help but glance around occasionally—if you go anywhere with a vampire, you get stared at, and a public place like this was no exception. Esme didn't go into town much in Forks, but when she did, she was careful to dress in ways that made her look older than she was—I'd noticed Carlisle did that too, in what I saw as a useless effort to blend in with regular people. But today, they'd both dressed in clothes that made them look their ages, and even in a crowded place like this, Esme was getting a lot of looks.
"Does it ever bother you?" I asked, without really thinking through what I wanted to know. "I mean, people always staring at you."
"You get used to it," Esme said easily. "Besides, you look very nice today. They might be looking at you too."
"Esme…" I said, rolling my eyes—it was such a mom thing to say, comparing me and my ordinariness with her supernatural beauty as if we were just about even. Esme laughed, and when I finished eating, we went to find Edward and Carlisle. I mean, eventually we found them; first Esme went to look at the art and architecture books and I wandered around looking at novels. By the time Edward found me, I had my nose buried in a book, wondering if I should buy it, and he had a stack that was about a foot high.
"Something to do tonight," he explained. "For the sake of Charlie's peace of mind, you're sharing a room with Alice."
That was disappointing, but I had sort of hinted to Charlie that this might happen.
As if she'd heard her name mentioned, Alice appeared with several shopping bags in her arms and smiled.
"Ready to go look at shoes?" she asked, and somehow I managed not to groan when I tried to calculate how long Alice could look at shoes. Apparently my break was over, so I paid for the books I'd picked out before letting Alice drag me to the next store.
After Alice was finally satisfied that we'd shopped enough for one afternoon, the rest of the day passed quickly: we went to an art exhibit, then Edward took me to dinner before we met the other Cullens to go see a play. (I didn't like their spending so much money on me, but maybe I could convince Alice to count this trip as my birthday present). It was really fun, more fun than I would have expected, just to do things that I couldn't do in Forks, and being with people who I didn't have any secrets from. My future family, I told myself, and yet again, I was relieved that Edward couldn't read my mind—there were times that he'd only be angry if he could.
When we got back to the hotel, Carlisle and Esme wished us goodnight, and Alice and I went up to the room that we were going to share. Edward would have his own, and though I sighed at the thought of spending the night away from him, at least Charlie would be relieved when I told him about this part of the trip.
Alice swiped the card key and opened the door, and I immediately jumped—Jasper was sitting in a chair by the window.
"Hi," he said easily, and I felt myself relax, courtesy Jasper's unusual gift, then looked at Alice.
"Bella," she said, trying and failing to look guilty instead of amused, "I know you told Charlie that we'd be sharing a room, but—"
"I only said we'd probably share," I said, starting to grin. "So I wasn't lying, and if I tell Charlie tomorrow that you and I had a good time tonight, that won't exactly be lying either."
"Edward's in 215," she said, handing me my bag, and I told them both goodnight before moving down the hall to Edward's room and knocking on the door—of course Alice had seen how I'd wanted to spend the evening, so she'd invited Jasper to drive down and stay with her. Usually the idea of being able to see the future seemed like more responsibility than I'd ever want to handle, but in cases like this, I could see how it might be fun.
Edward looked surprised but pleased when he opened the door for me.
"Alice," I said, by way of explanation, and he sighed.
"I'm happy to see you, but I feel a bit guilty," he said. "You had to pass Carlisle and Esme's room on the way here, but obviously they didn't try to stop you. Apparently my family supports the corruption of your youthful innocence."
I snorted with laughter at this. "You stay at my house every night and I haven't been corrupted yet, though it's not like I haven't been trying."
Edward shook his head at this, but he leaned down and kissed me without further protest. After a few seconds though, as was always the case when I became too interested in kissing him, Edward gently pulled away. I tried not to stagger as I sat down on the bed, and then I glanced at my bag, which contained my tooth brush and pajamas.
"Be right back," I promised.
A trip to the bathroom later, I had changed clothes and was actually starting to feel sleepy, which Edward naturally noticed though he hadn't seen me yawn.
"Tired?" he asked. "How many pairs of shoes did Alice talk you into buying again?"
"None, and you know it," I said, curling up under the sheets. "I really had a lot of fun today, but next time Alice says she wants to go shopping, I'll know to get a lot of sleep the night before. I had no idea how much energy I'd expend just walking around a mall."
"You did take a long time to fall asleep last night," Edward said thoughtfully, switching off the light and lying down next to me. "Any bad dreams?"
I closed my eyes, hoping that maybe the lie wouldn't show so clearly on my face if I wasn't looking at him. "No."
"Hmm," Edward said, but he didn't press me for details. The night before, I'd dreamt about Phoenix, and now I was sure he'd heard me say something that had reminded him of the ballet studio—my memories of the whole incident were mercifully sketchy, but Edward would always remember, with perfect clarity, what I'd looked like when he and the others had come to my rescue. Despite the pain I'd been in then, I knew now that it had probably been worse for Edward, seeing me hurt like that, than it had been for me, lying there and wondering if I was going to die. He'd hated feeling helpless, but even worse (for both of us) was his certainty that he'd been to blame, that just by being with me, he'd nearly brought about my death.
"Would she not prefer to espouse death itself rather than that living corpse?" Edward said quietly.
I stared at him. "What?"
"It's from "The Phantom of the Opera,"" he explained drily. "It's about a monster who falls in love with a woman. He nearly kills her, but then he lets her be with the man she loves and dies himself."
"I've read it," I said, trying not to sound uneasy—Renée had briefly been obsessed with opera years ago, so I'd read a few novels and plays in an effort to understand what exactly all the singing meant.
"I never had, until today," Edward said. "I read it while I was waiting for you in the bookstore, and there was one passage in particular that spoke to me."
I didn't say anything in response, but then I shut my eyes in irritation when he turned the light back on.
"You bought a copy?" I wondered—what was the point, when he had a photographic memory?
"It's this page," he said quietly, lifting the book off the top of the stack he'd piled on the floor beside the bed. Looking at the place his finger marked, I read,
"Why had she toyed with the threatening catastrophe? Why toyed with the monster's heart? Why, in a final excess of pity, had she insisted on flinging, as a last sop to that demon's soul, her divine song:
Holy angel, in Heaven blessed,
My spirit longs with thee to rest."
Okay, this was not the sort of thing I liked him to think about: how could he think that I wanted to be with him out of pity—that he was really a monster? He was an angel…but I knew that if I tried to explain this, I'd only get tongue-tied, or possibly make myself cry, so instead I'd try to imitate his tone: interested, but sort of distant, like we were discussing the meaning of a book we'd both read but that we weren't particularly attached to.
"But the phantom…he was human. So isn't the moral of the story that humans should stay away from other humans?"
To my relief, this strategy worked: Edward actually laughed, a sound that never failed to make me almost dizzy with joy.
"I don't think that's what Leroux had in mind," he said, setting the book down and turning off the light again. "A family of humans, or even just human parents, wouldn't condone your sleeping in my room. I suppose they're a bad influence, allowing this to go on right under their noses."
"You won't hear me complaining," I said quietly, already starting to fall asleep. Tomorrow, we'd be back in my bed again, together just like this, and that very thought was enough to make me grin in the darkness. Edward began to hum my lullaby, and as he did, I couldn't help but think of how though he was no more a bad influence on me than his parents were, I was always trying, unsuccessfully, to be a bad influence on him. But as I closed my eyes, I consoled myself with the knowledge that I had plenty of the time, all the time I'd need, to convince Edward to see things my way, both when it came to changing me...and other things.
See you again tomorrow! :)