At seven-thirty the next morning, Connor realized that he woke up earlier than any of the Adams-Fosters on the weekend. He sat up in his borrowed bed, which used to belong to Mariana, and stretched. It had been a fairly peaceful sleep. He'd tossed and turned for about an hour, but he hadn't come near having a panic attack about sleeping in an unfamiliar place, and he was proud of himself so that feat. He thought it was going to be so much more of a problem that it ended up being. He looked around the room and wondered just what to do with himself. He didn't know when Jude would be up, but Connor certainly wasn't going to be the one to wake him.

Connor wondered if he should leave his room or attempt to entertain himself until he heard someone else wake. However, the impulse to not stay in bed was strong. Waking early had been a habit because he had to make sure his ex had a breakfast to eat before work and a lunch to take to work and had his clothes in order for the day. If Connor had been allowed to touch his briefcase or any of the papers relating to his job, it probably also would have been Connor's responsibility to keep that in order. But something like that was too important for Connor to screw up.

Connor decided to get dressed for the day. He tried to take his time doing it in order to give the others time to wake, but it wasn't in Connor's nature to procrastinate. It may have been, once upon a time, but it was a habit that Connor had long since outgrown. Or, to be more accurate, it was a habit that had been grown out of him. Once he was ready, he stood in the centre of the room, utterly indecisive. He was allowed to leave the room. But Connor had no idea what he would do once he was out. He felt that if he were to do anything at all, he would be intruding, though he couldn't let himself stand and be idle either. He had to admit, he spent a moment twiddling his thumbs and trying to figure out what it was that he could do.

In the end, he decided to make breakfast. Rifling through the kitchen was less than ideal and the thought made him uncomfortable, but he justified it to himself. He'd make a nice meal to repay Stef and Lena for some of their hospitality and he'd be sure to do the dishes as he went, so there was absolutely nothing for them to do but enjoy when they woke.

Connor was quieter than a mouse as he crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. He felt like a criminal as he prepared the ingredients for French toast and began to actually make it. He took his time and he made himself enjoy what he was doing. This wasn't a chore. This was a breakfast made by him for people that he cared about. Good people that cared about him in return. Connor was halfway through cooking the bacon when he heard footsteps. He turned around, hoping for Jude, but instead, it was Stef.

"I thought I smelt something good."

"Good morning," Connor said. "I hope you don't mind that I … took over the kitchen."

"Not at all. This is amazing, Connor. Thank you."

"I made coffee. Would you like me to get you a cup?"

"I can get my own mug, thank you. It looks like you've done enough." Stef grabbed a two mugs out of the cupboard and poured them, mixing in milk and sugar. "I'm going to take one up to Lena and poke at Jude. Help yourself to a cup."

"Thank you," Connor said, although he wasn't particularly in the mood for coffee. He was too nervous about making sure that everything was ready by the time Stef returned with Jude and Lena. He wanted them to like their breakfast.

Connor had places set at the island by the time everyone joined him in the kitchen. Lena thanked him before he had even served her anything, which Connor thought strange. It was also nice, however, to be recognized for the fact that he had done something at all. He told himself not to get used to it, but then Jude shuffled in, yawning and sleepy eyed, and Connor thought that, perhaps, he could afford to get used to it.

Jude propped himself up on his elbow and squinted at Connor. "Morning."

Connor gently ran his fingers through Jude's bedhead. "Morning."

He felt guilty. He hadn't mean to interrupt their Saturday morning by waking them all up so early. Stef and Lena didn't seem to mind, but Jude seemed nearly back to sleep where he was sitting. Connor turned and fetched a mug, preparing Jude's coffee the way he liked. When he gave Jude the drink, Jude smiled. Connor was always glad to see that smile.

"What did you make?" Jude asked, putting his arm around Connor's waist.

"Just French toast," Connor said. "Nothing too fancy."

"I still can't wait to try it," Jude said.

"I'll dish you up some. How many pieces do you want?"

"Let's start with two," Jude said. "But you don't have to get it. I can handle a plate."

"No, what's the point of cooking for you if I make you work?" Connor asked. "Stef, Lena, what would you like?"

He took their orders happily, putting French toast on plates and topping off coffee mugs before he took his seat next to Jude.

"This is excellent, Connor," Lena said right after taking her first bite.

"Thank you." Connor was sure he was blushing.

"Are you teaching Jude how to cook?" Stef asked.

"He's trying." Jude took a sip of his coffee. "It's not really his teaching skills that are the problem."

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Jude," Connor said.

"He's a very nice teacher," Jude added.

"I think a teacher has to be," Lena said. "Students don't learn anything from rude administrators."

"I think there can be some value in tough love," Stef argued. "You can't be nice all the time."

Lena chuckled. "Jude's an adult, not a puppy you need to be firm with."

Admittedly, the mental image of Jude as a puppy was enough to make Connor chuckle too.

"A little rolled up newspaper and he'd be good to go!" Stef said. "What do you think, Connor?"

"I think he learns okay without the newspaper." Connor quickly shoved a bite of French toast into his mouth. He couldn't even manage the nudging sort of hit that Amy had given Jake. He couldn't imagine rolling up a newspaper and hitting Jude with it, intending for it to teach him a lesson.

Jude dropped his fork against his empty plate. "I'm still not able to make something as good as this."

"You can try next time," Connor said. "You could prove yourself wrong."

"I say I need more practice."

"Then practice and surprise us with breakfast on Christmas."

Jude rolled his eyes at Stef. "You overestimate me."

"You underestimate you," Connor replied.

Jude took his hand under the table and the two of them waited for Stef and Lena to finish up their last few bites.

"What are you two doing today?" Stef asked.

"I was going to take Connor for a little drive around, show him a couple of places. Taylor hasn't told me what time she wants to meet up yet, but it'll probably be around eight."

"Going to be home late?"

"Won't know until we get home," Jude joked to Lena. "Taylor knows I don't like to stay up that late, though, so we should be home before dawn."

Dawn. Connor could have choked on his tongue. Dawn was too far away. He couldn't imagine what could go on for that long that could be enjoyable. He forced himself to take a steady breath. He had, in fact, signed up for something like this when he told Jude he wanted to come along this weekend. He wasn't ignorant. He had a vague idea of what was going on. It was Jude's twenty-first birthday and, like most people turning twenty-one, it was a big deal that involved getting drunk. Connor couldn't hold that against Jude. Jude should be able to celebrate that like a normal person. Connor had made the decision to be here with him throughout all of that and he was determined to be there. Even so, he was sure that Jude wouldn't hold it against him if Connor wanted to come home early without Jude. The only problem was that Connor didn't know if he had the willpower to make it back to Stef's and Lena's without his boyfriend.

He supposed he would just have to deal with it when it happened. That idea was particularly unappetizing. Connor, at the very least, liked to have some vague idea what he was about to walk into. Here, he was at a loss. He'd never been to a bar to party with friends. He had no idea what it would be like. It wasn't as if they were his friends. They were Jude's friends. Connor was going to know Jude and Taylor and that was it.

And Dylan. Connor was sure he would recognize Dylan anywhere after last night. His skin itched. Dylan was great. Connor was sure Dylan was great. He thought that was what bothered him so much. He didn't want Jude to have a bad experience with his ex-boyfriend. Connor would never wish that on anyone. But he would have much rather have had Dylan remain as an intangible part of Jude's past. Connor had never thought about what it would be like to meet Dylan because he never thought he would. It was selfish to wish that Dylan wouldn't show up to Jude's party tonight, but that was exactly what Connor was wishing. He didn't like the feeling of jealousy. His ex had been a jealous man. It hurt Connor to think that he might have that in common with his old boyfriend.

"What do you think, Connor? Want to get ready and head out for a while?"

Connor crashed back into himself at the sound of Jude's voice. How long had he been spacing out for? He had never been good at getting himself out of his own head.

"Oh. I should get the dishes done."

"Don't even think about it," Stef said. "No more work for you today. You two go out and enjoy yourselves."

"Thank you, Stef," Connor said. "I hope you liked breakfast."

"It was very good, Connor. Thank you."

Connor smiled shyly at Lena. "You're welcome."

After that, he allowed Jude to pull him upstairs so they could get dressed.

(-.-)

Jude reached over to Connor's lap and grabbed one of the candies out of the jar he was holding. They were sitting in the parking lot of Anchor Beach and Jude was staring at the front doors. The entire universe had changed between the times that he'd walked in those doors as a temporary foster student and walked out as the graduate of two proud mothers. He'd also been a boyfriend then, to a very different sort of man.

"Connor?"

"Hmm?" Connor said, pulled from some unknown thought. He looked at Jude and the sun caught his eyes in such a way that Jude swore he could see a million different colours. "What are you thinking about?"

That I'm going to scare you, because I'm going to fall in love with you someday.

"There's somewhere else I want to show you."

"I thought you said Anchor Beach was the last stop before supper."

"I lied." Jude rested his head against Connor's shoulder, although he had to stretch and the top of his head barely brushed Connor's arm. "Which I didn't mean to do. But, I didn't think of taking you there. Come on, it's a little bit of a drive. Not too bad, though. Don't worry."

"Where are we going?"

Jude bit down on his lip and straightened up, turning the key. Gerald started with a rumble and Jude backed out of the parking lot.

"Don't forget your seatbelt," Connor whispered.

"Thanks, baby."

Jude was careful as he yanked his seatbelt over his body and clicked it into in place. He reached across the console and Connor played with his fingers.

"Where are we going, Jude?"

Jude waited another few minutes, tapping his thumb against the back of Connor's hand to let Connor know that Jude wasn't ignoring him. He waited until they were almost there to clear his throat.

"I never had a really good foster home before Stef and Lena. I had some that were not so bad. Some that were really bad." Jude checked over his shoulder and then parked along the side of the road. "This was the last one."

Jude didn't look out the window at the house. He just turned to face Connor, watching as Connor peeked over his shoulder to look at it. Jude could imagine that it had been cleaned up and fixed for the new owners. His foster parents from that time were long gone. He didn't want to know. It was a dim nightmare. His life had really started the night Callie had recused him from this pit. He was sure that Connor knew that.

"Oh, Jude," Connor cooed. "Don't cry."

Jude felt his tears then, hot and fat, rolling along his neck and making his skin itch with the salt. Connor unbuckled their seatbelts and freed Jude, pulling Jude into his arms. Jude hugged Connor tightly than he normally would have dared. Connor didn't say anything, he just let Jude hang onto him and cry. Connor was sturdy under Jude's hands and Jude felt stupid the entire time they were clinging to each other. After nine years, it shouldn't be an issue anymore. But Connor was soft and vulnerable with Jude and Jude could be the same way in return. Connor made Jude feel like he could be his entire self, rather than just a portion of himself, and he let the guilt wash away with his final wave of leaky tears.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked, and though there was concern in his voice, he sounded so awkward. The tone was light enough for Jude to smile a little.

"I didn't mean to cry on you." Jude sat up and Connor brushed his tears away. "I'm sorry. I really didn't bring you here to cry."

"Now you sound like me," Connor said. "If I'm allowed to cry, then you're allowed to cry. I'm here for you, Jude."

"I know you are."

Connor was looking over Jude's shoulder again, to the house. Jude took a long breath, holding it until Connor met his eyes again. Connor handled him with even more kid gloves than he normally did, and it made Jude fall more in love and feel more protected.

"How do I help you?" Connor asked, and he reached up to play with Jude's hair. "I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing."

Jude tilted his head into Connor's caress, letting it soothe him. Connor was so determined to help him and be there for him. It warmed him from the inside out and he pressed a kiss to Connor's palm.

"Hold my hand while we drive, okay?" Jude murmured. "I didn't mean to be parked here so long."

"Is that all you want?"

"For now." Jude smiled at him. "Maybe some good music too?"

"I can do that."

Connor held his hand tightly, already looking through his phone for some good music to play.

"Where are we going now?"

"I was thinking we'd just go loaf around Moms' until I heard something definitive from Taylor. Does that sound good to you?"

"You haven't heard from Taylor yet?"

"No. And don't give her that look either."

"I'm not giving a look."

Jude laughed and stopped at the red light, looking at Connor. "You're thinking that she's a bad planner and that makes you itch. She's got it all planned, baby, I'm just not allowed to know."

"I just don't like bad planning."

"I know." Jude continued down the road. "You're quirky like that."

"Annoying?" Connor corrected.

"Quirky. I said quirky. Add not really knowing how to listen to your list of quirks."

Connor gave a little indignant tug on Jude's hand and Jude laughed. He lifted Connor's hand and kissed his knuckles. He knew Connor wasn't upset by anything he'd said, but Jude just wanted to make sure that there weren't any ruffled feathers at all.

"If I'm quirky," Connor said, "then you must be boring."

"Hey!"

"You're not as weird as I am."

"I like you weird." Jude parked behind Stef's car, checking his phone. It was almost six. "You really think I'm boring?"

"No. I mean, even if you are boring, I like you that way." Connor tapped his fingers on his seatbelt. "I guess that makes me a little boring too."

"Well, that's how I like you. I –" Jude's cell phone started ringing. "Sorry, baby, just a sec. Hello?"

"Hey, Jude."

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to call and see if you still had plans for tonight!" Dylan said.

"Yeah, of course. I'm still waiting on the details, but it's going to be that dumb bar with the weird windows. The one who's sign always got stolen when we were in high school."

"The nameless bar," Dylan said, laughing. "Didn't you steal the sign once?"

"Taylor did! I was just … there."

"Sure, sure."

Jude glanced over as Connor let himself out of the car. He didn't go inside on his own, but that was more characteristic of Connor than it was indicative of anything. "Yeah, Taylor said we'd probably be meeting around seven, so I'll let you know if I hear any different."

"Oh, okay. I'm actually on break at work right now. I got called in to cover a shift until nine."

"So I'll let you know if we switch bars and you can just meet up with us then."

"All right. Sounds good." Dylan paused. "I guess I should go now."

"Yeah. Uh, see you later. Have fun at work."

"It feels weird to end a conversation with you and not say 'I love you'."

Jude closed his eyes. He didn't know what to say and, really, he didn't want to hear whatever Dylan might say. He was beyond his relationship with Dylan. He knew Dylan was over his relationship with him. Jude didn't want to revisit any feelings of nostalgia about their past. He was happy with Connor, and even though it felt wrong to compare, he knew that he was happier with Connor than he ever was, ever could have been, with Dylan.

"Don't get soft on me, Dylan." Then in a more serious tone, he added, "You know I'm happy."

"I didn't. I don't know much about you anymore. Which is probably why this is so weird, Jude. But don't accuse me of things. You're cute, but you're not cute enough for me to try and steal you back."

"I take offense! For that, you're buying me a drink tonight!"

"I'll even buy one for the new boyfriend. Is he the new boyfriend? Anyway, I'll buy one for that guy just to prove I haven't become an asshole in the past couple of years."

"He's my boyfriend, Dylan, and you can put your money where your mouth is later," Jude said, watching Connor anxiously pick at his thumbnail. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Sure. See you."

Jude hung up quickly so Dylan didn't have a chance to say anything. He got out of the car and gently tugged at his shirt. Connor tilted his head to look at him. Jude slid his hand down the length of Connor's arm and took his hand. Connor didn't pull away, but Connor wasn't one to pull away either. Jude didn't want to imagine what his ex had done to him to make sure that he always did what he what he was told.

"Your jealous streak may be wider than I thought," Jude said, trying to keep his voice light.

"W-w-what do you mean?"

"Come up and sit on the porch with me, okay?"

Connor nodded and Jude tugged him up the stairs. Connor followed along obediently, and he and Jude settled next to one another. Connor sat fairly close to him, which Jude felt buoyed by. Connor couldn't be that upset with him.

"You left the car when you figured out I wasn't talking to Taylor," Jude pointed out.

"It was Dylan, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Jude nudged Connor's shoulder with his own. "You don't have anything to worry about."

"You said that."

"Well, you still don't believe it. So, I'll say it until you do. You don't have a single thing to worry about."

Connor faced him. "Jude … you were in love with him. I fell in love once too. It's a hard thing to leave that behind completely. I'd understand if you weren't sure about being past that anymore. I wouldn't like it, but I'd rather hear that and have it be the truth than find out later that you're lying to me right now."

"I'm not lying to you," Jude swore. "I don't love him anymore. He was a good part of my life and a big part of my life, but he is definitely in the past."

"You loved him. You don't love me."

"And you would freak out and never speak to me again if I said I loved you."

Against his side, Connor stiffened and leant away from him. "That wasn't an 'I don't love you'. Jude …"

"But it is. I like you, a lot. I'm not going to lie to you. It's a lot, but I'm not in love with you, baby. I'm going to scare you by telling you that I could fall in love with you and that it'd be really easy to love someone like you."

"It'd be easy to love me?"

"Yes."

"You're right. That is scary."

Jude tickled Connor's ribs and he smiled. "I am with you. I am happy with you. I don't want you to be unhappy with Dylan being around tonight. I know you've already got a lot to deal with already. I can uninvite him. I promise I won't make it about you."

"No," Connor said firmly, without even taking the time to consider it. "I'd be more bothered if you uninvited him."

"Why?"

Connor reached out and placed his arm around Jude's shoulders. Jude cuddled into Connor and just listened to him breathe for a long few minutes.

"Thinking of Dylan in terms of a hypothetical was easy. Now I've seen him. To let my imagination take over from there is going to make things worse. I know you a little bit now, Jude, and your actions and your words always match. It's not that I don't believe you now because I do. It's just that seeing it makes it real for me. Words don't really mean anything."

Jude lifted his head to look at Connor, and then pressed a kiss to his jaw. He could have said any number of words, but after hearing that, he knew that it wouldn't be enough. Connor smiled at his small kiss, and then his grip on Jude's shoulders became even tighter, and Jude kissed him again. Connor's lips were soft and he wrapped both of them around Connor's waist. He didn't want to let go. The last of the sun's rays touched their faces as they kissed. Jude felt his heart speed up and then his blood began to surge. Connor kissed him and Jude knew that final long kiss, and he wasn't surprised when Connor pulled away.

"For the record, Jude, I really like you too."

"At this point," Jude said, "I would hope so."

(-.-)

They walked to the bar, leaving Gerald at home. It was nearly half an hour of walking, but Connor didn't mind it. Jude held his hand as they walked, and Connor couldn't help from feeling a little nervous. It was a new area. He didn't know what people here would do if they saw Jude and he holding hands, though he knew that people here weren't like that, for the most part. He should feel safe. They were almost half an hour from the bar when Connor spotted them.

Two older men, in their late fifties or early sixties, kissing quickly before the short one with the beard held the passenger side door of their yellow car open for the tall clean-shaven man. Connor loved seeing old gay couples. It made him feel hope. That no matter what was said, there was nothing about his feelings that were a phase. Connor was gay and that was a part of him; he knew it wasn't going to leave. Yet, sometimes he felt like it was a curse too, and seeing two men being able to be old and happy and in love like any old man and woman could be was, frankly, inspiring. Connor never saw it. He wished he could see it more. He didn't even believe in love, let alone the fact that someone could actually be happy with another person forever. He knew being in love didn't mean you were happy. The thing was that Connor wanted to believe. He wished he could have that kind of faith.

"Ready for this?" Jude asked, and Connor jumped. "You okay?"

"I … I, um, was th-thi-thinking. I forgot about the world," Connor admitted, feeling embarrassed over it. "What did you say? I'm sorry. I should've been focused!"

"You're fine, baby. I just asked if you were ready. See that brown building there? That's the bar."

"What's the bar called anyway?"

Jude shrugged. "No one knows anymore. I'm sure you could Google it and find out but it's more fun if you don't. They just have a really easy sign to steal and now it's a game to steal it. Every time they put it back up, it's under a new name."

"That seems really mean," Connor said.

"Nah. They play the game too. They have a sign donation jar inside and so they don't actually pay for the new signs themselves. So, once a month, they open the jar and buy whatever sign they can afford. One time, they had a really elaborate metal sign and then the next month no one donated so they bought neon orange poster board and scribbled a name on it."

"Who started it?"

"I don't know. I was, like, two when the bar opened. This will actually be the first time I've ever been in it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. When I was in tenth grade they found out one of their bouncers was letting underage kids in and now they're really strict about it."

"At least they didn't let it continue."

"Exactly." Jude led Connor up to the front door. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Connor held the door open for Jude, taking in the smell of French fries and, oddly, cherries. The lighting inside was fairly dim and there were tables crowded around one another. As soon as Jude stepped over the threshold, Taylor appeared, seemingly out of nowhere and wrapped a metallic silver and blue sash around Jude.

"GUESS WHO'S LEGAL?" she shrieked.

"Me?" Jude looked down. "Birthday Boy!"

Taylor physically turned Jude around. "Connor! What do you think of the sash?"

"He looks good in it." Connor stepped into the bar too and let the door shut behind him.

Taylor ruffled Jude's hair and grinned brightly. "Come on, over to the bar. We need to start with shots."

"You're going to kill me before the end of the night."

"That's the plan." Taylor held out her hand. "Come on, Connor. You too."

"I don't drink," Connor reminded her.

"I know! But we're not leaving baby in a corner, come on."

Jude reached out his hand too and Connor took his. Taylor took lead in the chain and they scrunched up at the bar. The bar was fairly busy, but when Jude looked over at Connor, there was nothing anxious in his face, which made Jude happy. Taylor bent over the bar, fluttering her eyes at the bartender, who was at her side in a flash. She ordered six shots of tequila and Jude felt his gag reflex rise. He wasn't over the tequila from the other weekend with Taylor.

The bartender placed the shots neatly on a tray for Taylor and she picked them up with finesse. "Over to the big table. Daria and Thomas are holding it for us, along with a few other random kids we manage to pick up from high school."

At the mention of people he didn't know, Connor swung their joined hands and Jude squeezed him reassuringly. He made sure that Connor had a chair that was tucked in the inside corner, with him on one side and Daria seated across from him. Jude didn't think that Connor and Daria had spoken that much on Halloween outside of the group chat they'd all had, but he knew that Connor would be more comfortable with Daria than from one of the people he'd never seen before.

Taylor happily delivered a few tequila shots around the table.

"Drink up, Jude!"

"This is the last time I'm having tequila tonight," he informed Taylor.

"Haha, right," she said, picking up her on shot. "Cheers, Judicorn!"

Jude clinked his shot against Taylor's. "Not tonight, Taylor."

"Every night is a good night to bother you!"

"Help me," Jude mouthed to Connor.

"I think … you signed yourself up for this."

"Don't leave me," Jude said. "Please."

Connor tightened his grip on Jude's hand. "I won't."

Jude took the shot in perfect sync with Taylor.

(-.-)

Jude was too drunk for it to only be quarter after ten. He had himself propped up on one hand, leaning on the sticky table they'd originally sat down at. Daria and Thomas were shamelessly making out in front of him, although things were a little blurry for him right now and he wasn't paying a lot of attention. The other few friends Taylor had tried to scoop up had moved on to a newer bar, but Jude had elected to stay here. Taylor and Connor had just left him – Taylor to get more drinks, and Connor to help her carry them. Jude wasn't sure if he should drink anymore. He lifted his head when he heard a glass hit the table.

"Taylor, if that's not a –"

"Long island iced tea because you're a princess."

"It's like ninety percent alcohol, Dylan. Don't hate it! Besides, that's a margarita and that's not exactly the height of masculinity."

"Says who?" Dylan asked, sliding into the seat across from Jude. "Hi, Daria?"

"And her boyfriend, Thomas," Jude supplied, though neither half of the couple looked up at their names. "Glad you made it."

"Drink up. Or do you not like them anymore?"

"No, I still like them. I remember you taking, like, a year to figure out how to learn to make them for me."

Dylan laughed. "It's hard to steal that much liquor from your parents! Go ahead, taste it! Tell me it's worse than mine."

"I'm not going to lie to protect your ego." Jude pulled the drink toward him and took a sip.

"And where's the new guy?" Dylan continued. "I promised him a drink too, but I don't know what he likes. He kinda looks like one of those masculine beer types. What happened to not being into jocks?"

"What?"

"No, really, if I had buffed up would we still be together?" Dylan flexed, but he didn't have much to flex.

"His name is Connor, don't act like you don't know. He doesn't drink any kind of alcohol. He's a bit of a jock, he plays baseball, but he is the sweetest man I've ever met. I don't know if I'd call him the stereotype of masculinity, but he's more masculine than you," Jude teased, kicking Dylan's shin slightly under the table. He bit his lip, picturing Connor and confessed, "I … am so into him." He sipped at his drink again. "And you broke up with me and the long island iced tea is better than yours."

"My heart! Jude, you wound me!"

"But I'm not lying to you!"

"No, you're not. So, where is he? Or did he skimp out on your party early?"

Jude waved his hand. "Taylor kidnapped him. I should go rescue him if he's not back in, like, five more minutes."

"No. Some guy with a beard that looks like a bird's nest is taking shots out of her belly button. I don't see the new guy."

Jude turned around so quickly it felt like the whole bar tilted on its side. Sure enough, there was Taylor. But no Connor next to her. He immediately thought of last night. He wasn't going to leave Connor alone, having a panic attack in the bathroom again.

"He'll be fine," Dylan said. "Unless you think he's going to be jealous you're sitting here with me."

"You're the one that can't say his name," Jude said. "And here I thought you'd moved on."

"Not the way that you have," Dylan said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Jude. It hasn't been so long that I don't know you at all anymore." Dylan grinned. "I know what you in love looks like. And Jude's got it bad."

"Why's everyone say that?"

"If everyone's saying it, then it must be true." Dylan finished his drink. "Does Taylor say it?"

"She said it first," Jude admitted. He was halfway through his new drink. Honesty was going to be his biggest demon if he finished it. He took another drink anyway.

"Well, if Taylor knows, then it must be true. There's no one else in the world that knows you the way that Taylor does."

"She's got a little competition."

Dylan laughed. "You're cute in love."

"Dylan!"

"Anyway," Dylan said, and his hand shot up, "Hey, Connor, over here!"

Jude turned around and there was Connor, standing next to Taylor. Taylor waved at Jude and Dylan, and then she began to tow Connor over to them.

(-.-)

The bathroom was crowded and Connor left, though his palms were still sweaty and his heart was still pounding. This was harder than he thought it would be. He felt crowded, he felt sick with the amount of drunk men around him – Jude even slightly included in that count –, and he felt guilty for leaving Taylor standing at the bar when he said that he would help her carry drinks and for leaving Jude sitting at the table when he said he wouldn't leave Jude tonight. Connor's heart felt heavy when he walked into the main room of the bar, thinking about all of the hours left in the night. He would be by Jude's side through every one – he had promised. Then, his heart sunk all the way to his shoes. Jude didn't need his company.

Dylan was sitting with him.

Connor looked around and spotted Taylor, sitting up from a table and tugging her shirt down over her stomach. He sidled over to her, and to her red-faced, drunk-eyed credit, she skipped away from the crowd she had managed to gather and coddled up against him.

"How was the bathroom?" she asked.

"Crowded."

"Sure you weren't in the women's?" Taylor teased, and then she nearly fell over.

Connor caught her and propped her up between himself and a table.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Why do you think something's wrong?"

"Tell Taylor," she whispered. "Tell. You can trust me."

"How well do you know Jude?"

"Better than anyone barring Callie but that's just 'cause she's nosy and I like to let her think so. Why?"

"Do I need to worry?" he whispered, ashamed he was even asking.

"About what?"

Connor gestured over to Jude's table and Taylor gasped, her hands coming up to cover her face. "Is that Dylan? What is he doing here?"

Connor shifted his weight onto his left food and explained what had happened in the candy shop the night previous. Taylor pawned a shot off a nearby girl while he spoke. When he was finished, Taylor rested her hand on his arm, looking at Jude's and Dylan's table and then slyly back to Connor.

"Do you think you have to be worried?"

Connor hesitated. He didn't know what he should say to Taylor or that he could. He liked her, well enough, but she was Jude's best friend and they didn't really know each other.

"Connor, I like you."

"I like you too," Connor replied.

"And Jude's my best friend in this whole world. And he likes you a lot, so I like you a lot. And you can count on me for whatever you need … as long as you never hurt him."

"I'm not going to hurt him," Connor promised.

"Good!" Taylor grinned at him. "So, I'm gonna ask again: do you think you have to be worried?"

"I don't know," Connor said. "I really don't know. I want to trust Jude more than anyone else but I can't stop my brain from spinning. Maybe if … if … if I hear it from someone else."

"Don't worry," Taylor said confidently. "Don't worry about a thing. You're his … favourite."

"Favourite boyfriend?" Connor asked, thinking that assessment wasn't fair at all.

"No. Just favourite."

"Was that Dylan once?" Connor asked quietly.

"You're not comparable," Taylor promised Connor. "Hey, do you have an ex?"

Connor swallowed. "Why?"

"Because Jude and your ex have got to be really different people, right? How can you compare? You have to feel differently about them, but it doesn't invalidate things with the ex. Connor, trust me, he's crazy about you."

At that moment, Dylan shouted Connor's name and Connor nearly had a heart attack. Taylor jumped up on her toes and waved brightly at them.

"Come on, Connor." She tugged him by the arm that she was still holding onto. "Dylan, hi!"

Taylor hugged Dylan and Connor attempted to step back, but Jude stretched across the table. Connor put his hand in his boyfriend's and he let Jude tug him into the booth next to him. Jude wrapped his arms around Connor and Connor put his arm around Jude's shoulder.

"Hey, what's going on?" Connor asked.

"Don't let me drink anymore," Jude instructed.

"It's not even that late!" Taylor squawked.

"I'm not throwing up tonight," Jude said. "And I've had like … ninety too many shots in the past couple hours."

"If you had ninety shots in any amount of time, Jude, you'd die. You're weak, remember?"

"Leave him alone, Taylor," Dylan said, laughing. "You've got him pretty drunk."

"That's the way I like him!" Taylor protested. "Now, Dylan, we haven't seen each other in forever so why don't you go and get us some drinks so we can sit and catch up."

"Sure, sure. What would you like, Taylor?"

"Actually … I'm not sure. I'm going to go flirt with the bartender so he'll mix me up something. Jude, come with?"

"Why?"

"Because it's your birthday and I want to talk to you and last time I took Connor with me to buy drinks, he bailed and I ended up alone with some stranger … two strangers? Anyway, at least three shots were taken out of my bellybutton and I didn't know where he went. So, come along, Jude!"

Jude slipped from the bench and Connor let him go, even though Jude looked really unsteady on his feet. He hoped Jude stuck to his guns and didn't order another drink. Connor didn't know if he could stop Jude from having a drink if he came back with one, even though Jude had told Connor to not let him. As Taylor and Jude approached the bar, Connor realized that he was alone with Dylan. He knitted his fingers together and tried not to look at him.

"We were never really introduced, were we?"

Connor shook his head and made himself meet Dylan's eyes. "I … I'm Connor."

"I know. Hear about me much?"

"Occasionally," Connor said. "Jude … always speaks well of you."

"'Well of you'," Dylan quoted. "What are you, forty?"

"I … No. Just twenty-one." Connor shifted uncomfortably. He felt like he was being inspected.

"So, what are you like?" Dylan asked. "Who are you?"

"Oh. I don't know," Connor said with a shrug. Speaking with Stef and Lena the first time around had been far more comfortable than whatever this was. "I'm … a business major."

Did that even count? Connor had no idea if that was what Dylan was after and he didn't like that. New people were too unpredictable.

Dylan grinned at that and Connor noticed a dimple that appeared in one of his chubby cheeks. "I didn't know Jude had turned into a gold digger. Business major is a step up from starving art student."

Connor bit down on his lip and started to toy with one of the cardboard coasters that littered the table.

"That was a joke, you can laugh," Dylan said.

"Sorry. I – I guess we have different senses of humour."

"I guess that's all right. Jude mentioned you played baseball?"

Connor was floored. Had Dylan and Jude been sitting here talking about him? He didn't think he liked the thought of that, but he didn't think Jude would say anything that Connor would have hated for him to say. Jude knew him too well; Jude cared about him enough.

"I used to. Jude and I went to the batting cages."

"Oh. You've got him playing now?"

Connor smiled a little, thinking of it. "No. I wouldn't go that far."

Connor sought out Jude and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that Jude and Taylor were on their way back over to the table.

(-.-)

It took Jude longer than it should have to realize that he and Taylor had just left Connor and Dylan alone together.

"Taylor –"

"Don't say it. It'll be less than ten minutes."

Jude stared at Connor and Dylan. "Hey, where'd Daria and Thomas go?"

"I don't know. Either they're under the table humping or they managed to crawl somewhere more private to hump." Taylor put her hands on her hips. "Connor's insecure about Dylan."

"He told you that?"

"He told me pieces, but it's obvious. I –" Taylor cut herself off and turned to the bartender to order.

"And a regular Coke and a regular Sprite," Jude ordered over top of her.

The bartender shrugged and nodded before turning away. Taylor rounded on Jude again.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So Connor and Dylan."

"Connor and I talked about it last night after we ran into Dylan. He wanted Dylan here, Taylor."

"Did you want Dylan here?"

"You know I don't like him that way anymore."

"I know and you knew, but I wanted to make sure that you still know it after seeing him again."

"Earlier I told Connor I could fall in love with him and then tonight I think I admitted to Dylan that I was in love with him."

"Jude!" Taylor hit him on the arm. "Jude!"

"What? Why?" Jude asked, rubbing his arm. "How are you that strong?"

"You're just weak. Don't distract. I've been talking about this love thing for weeks and then Dylan pops up for one night and you're spilling your guts!"

"I didn't mean to! Dylan was talking and I was drinking and Connor looks good tonight so –"

"So, if you think you feel it. Say it to me." Taylor grabbed Jude by his shoulders so that were looking straight at one another. "In a full sentence. If you really feel it. Then, don't say it to Connor and we can deal with it when you're sober."

"I love you, Taylor."

"I know you do. I love you too. Now, tell me about Connor."

"Connor? I … I …" Jude turned inward for a moment, thinking about his boyfriend. His drunk mind haphazardly tumbled through the consequences that his sober self so seriously considered, but it seemed inconsequential. "I love him. I love him. It's been two months and I love him."

"Uh oh, Jude."

"Uh oh, Jude," Jude repeated.

The bartender put their drinks down for them and Jude took the sodas for he and Connor while Taylor handled the alcoholic drinks. Jude slid in the booth next to Connor.

"Coke or Sprite?"

"Oh, whatever one you don't want," Connor said.

"Baby," Jude whined.

"We can share," Connor said. "How different is it from kissing you?"

Jude rested his head against Connor's shoulder. "We can compare now if you want – Hey!" He straightened up indignantly and stared at Taylor. "That was an ice cube!"

"Because you need to chill out! I don't need to see you climbing under the table to – Hey! That was an ice cube!"

"Fair's fair."

"Cheers to that," Dylan said, and he offered his drink to clink against Jude's.

Jude touched the rim of the Coke glass against Dylan's and glanced at Connor's face. Connor didn't really look happy, but that didn't surprise Jude. He hadn't expected a truly happy look from Connor while at the bar. He knew that Connor was just sort of dealing with it and looking forward to going home. Even so, Jude didn't think that Connor had been completely unhappy. Or, at least, he hadn't until he was left alone with Dylan, and Jude wondered what had been said. Dylan wasn't mean, but Dylan didn't know Connor at all. It wouldn't have been hard for Dylan to accidentally upset him, especially given how uneasy Connor felt toward Jude's ex.

He nudged Connor and whispered, "Are you ready to go?"

"Only if you are."

Jude should have expected that.

"It's your birthday," Connor added. "I'm sure Taylor would be mad if you left early. Everyone else seems to have vanished."

Jude kissed Connor's temple. "It probably won't be too much longer."

It was a little longer than Jude anticipated. Jude stumbled out the door with Connor in tow at twelve-thirty. Last call was at one and Dylan and Taylor had decided that they wanted to have at least one more drink together. Taylor hadn't really wanted Jude and Connor to leave before she did, but Jude was tired. He was ready to go home. And he was sure that if he had another drink then he wouldn't be able to make it home. As it was, Connor was half-supporting him down the street.

"So," Jude said, "how was tonight?"

"Could've been worse."

"I love your optimistic outlook."

"And I love how you're slurring your words."

Jude waved his hand flippantly. Walking and gesturing was apparently too much for him to do at the same time and he tripped over his own two feet. Connor was quick to catch him and make sure he was steady.

"What would I do without you?"

"You managed for over twenty years," Connor pointed out.

"Eh. Like this better."

"I kinda like this better too."

Connor kissed him then, softly, as the cool night breeze ruffled their jackets. Jude went to place his hands on Connor's sides and lengthen the kiss, but Connor's hand shot up between them.

"You taste like vodka," Connor said. "I just … don't really like, um …"

"It's okay, baby. If I brush my teeth when we get home, can I have a goodnight kiss?"

Connor smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that too."

Connor wrapped his arm around Jude's waist again and they headed off down the street again.

"Were you happy with your birthday?"

"Yes."

"Happier because Dylan was there?"

"Connor …"

"I'm sorry!"

"No, I didn't mean to sound exasperated." Jude looked up at the house. "Baby, let's go in, put our jammies on, and then talk on the couch, okay? I'll brush my teeth and everything. Or do you want answers now?"

"I … I can wait," Connor said. "No, really. I'd rather be … comfy and know we have time and you're not thinking about pyjamas or inside. Let's go."

Jude hurried through getting ready. He knew that Connor was going to be thinking heavily about the evening and what was coming up and Jude didn't want to keep him waiting. As quick as Jude was though, when he went down into his living room, Connor was already sitting on the couch. He had his legs curled up and was leaning against the arm of the couch, one hand in his hair.

"Hey, baby," Jude said. He didn't want to sneak up on Connor. "What are you thinking about?"

"Um. You with … No. I don't want to say it."

Jude sat down on the couch next to him. "I was happy to see Dylan, but not in the way that I was happier because he was there. I'm not in love with him. The reason that I was so happy tonight was because you were there. I was so happy to see you, baby. You're the person I –" Jude tongue felt like it swelled inside of his mouth and he sucked in a breath, his conversation with Taylor flooding through him. "I care about. You're the one that makes me happy. Sitting there with you tonight … It made me realize how much happier I was that you were there. I know you're worried, but there's absolutely no reason for you to be. Okay?"

"I think I know that. I saw you and him and … It did make me jealous. I worry that you can talk to him differently than me. Because I'm damaged and he's not."

"You're not damaged." Jude reached out and put his hands on Connor's hips and Connor tilted toward him. "You're not. I think you're absolutely perfect."

"That's because you're drunk."

"That's because I'm smart."

Connor smiled and ducked his head. He glanced back up at Jude. "You brushed your teeth."

"Yeah. I'd … do nearly anything for you. That's what you mean to me."

"Do enough to add 'within reason' to the end of that?"

"I'd do nearly anything for you, within reason," Jude repeated. "Anything else you want to talk about?"

"No. Not right now. You know sometimes it takes a while for me to think through things."

Jude nodded. "Are you happy, baby?"

"Yeah," Connor said. "I am."

Connor kissed him and Jude felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Jude's hands clenched in Connor's shirt and when he leant backward, he was surprised that Connor went down along with him. Jude was flat on his back, but it didn't surprise him that Connor didn't climb on top of him, though Jude almost wished that he had. Instead, Connor slid down against Jude's side, his back to the back of the couch. His arm snaked around Jude's waist and Jude turned into him. He couldn't remember Connor ever kissing him like this and he wondered if Connor was just feeling possessive of him. The thought only slightly half-upset about it. He didn't think it was right and he didn't want Connor to kiss him like that only because of Dylan. Jude couldn't deny, however, that the kissing and the possessiveness was something of a turn-on. He closed his eyes and plastered himself as close to Connor as he thought Connor would let him get, one leg tossed over both of Connor's.

One of Connor's hands was tangled in his hair and Jude had to settle for pressing one of his hands to Connor's ribs. He wished that he could run one hand through Connor's long strands of hair; let his hand rest across Connor's jaw and feel the strong lines of it. He wanted it. But there was something to this to, and he had to stop wanting more when he and Connor were kissing. Jude was sure they would get to more if they kept going the way that they had been. Jude knew he couldn't push. And he sobered as he realized that not pushing equalled not telling Connor that he was in love with him either. It was too early.

Connor sensed his mood change, because Connor was good about that. He sat up on one elbow and Jude was strangely thrilled to see that Connor's eyes were dark and emotional too. He wasn't unaffected by Jude, and it was ego-boosting to know. He ran his hand down the length of Connor's abs and immediately regretted it. He was drunk and already turned on. He shifted his hips back so Connor wouldn't realize.

"Can I tell you something?" Connor asked.

"Absolutely."

"It's late," Connor said, "but I'm not all that sleepy."

Jude grinned, because he knew what Connor was saying. "Wanna be my big spoon and find something to watch?"

"Are you sleepy?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Let's find an episode to watch anyway. We'll see if we're sleepy after that."

Connor nodded and Jude flipped onto his other side. Connor pulled Jude tightly to him and Jude relaxed into how familiar it felt. It felt right. Being held by Connor like this was Jude's new favourite place to be. Connor kissed the back of his neck and Jude could barely focus on turning the volume on the TV down and finding a show to watch. He found the tattoo show based around cover-ups and he left on that, even though it was the episode with the cat butt tattoo that they had already seen. Connor didn't complain, though Jude was sure that Connor wouldn't say a word even if he hated what they were watching.

"You know what, baby?"

"What?" Connor asked.

"I want to grab a blanket. I'm a little cold."

Connor sat up a little. "Are you sure you don't want to be in bed?"

"No. I just want a blanket." Jude kissed the side of Connor's mouth. He wasn't sure if he'd intended to miss or if he was just a little drunker than he'd realized and he had just ended up there. "I'll be right back."

It took him all of six seconds, so it seemed, to fetch his favourite blanket from the upper floor and return to Connor. Jude spread the blanket over the two of them and snuggled back in. He took Connor's hand and Connor held him tightly.

"I'm glad I came with you this weekend," Connor whispered.

"Me too. Tell me when you're ready to go to bed, okay?"

"Okay," Connor agreed. "You tell me too."

"I will," Jude promised.

Jude made it through two more episodes before he started thinking that he should really make an effort to head upstairs to bed. But Connor was warm and he was comfortable; the last thing on Earth he wanted to do was move. One more episode, he decided, and then he was asleep before the title sequence on that episode had even begun.

The chapter's title is after the song Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~