A/N Keridwen-think about what Garret's thinking here-Blake was sober and the boy still killed himself. If being sober doesn't work...Death, fun! I 3 death. Just kidding...or am I? I think the quote sums up this chapter quite well. I got nothing else out of that book (it was a nice read, but I found no incredibily symbolic truth in it, I liked it for that reason, it was nice, somewhat light reading). y'all want to see me get this out by the end of the weekend, don't you? But I'm thinking about saving the last chap for monday afternoon when I get home from school and before I head out to see Wynton Marsalis (for FREE!)

"Because I don't choose. It doesn't matter what a man does if he's ready to take the consequences. Well, I'm ready to take the consequences. You talk glibly of giving up drinking, but it's the only thing I've got left now. What do you think life would be to me without it? Can you understand the happiness I get out of my absinthe? I yearn for it; and when I drink it I savour every drop, and afterwards I feel my soul swimming in ineffable happiness." -Cronshaw in W. Somerset Maughm's Of Human Bondage

He took gulp, enjoying the long slow burn down his throat. It felt good. Too good. He took another gulp, leaning back against the cushions on the couch. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table and flipped on the TV, searching for something, anything, good on TV. Bad movies and even worse shows were all that was on. He took another gulp. It could make anything better. Even bad TV. It could make ugly women beautiful and bad TV good. "Garret?" He heard the voice through the door.

"Go away." He shouted, taking another swig. He didn't want her there, he wanted her to leave he, he didn't need her.

"Garret, let me in, please?" He voice was begging, something that he hadn't heard her do in as long time. He tried to recall if he had ever heard that pleading tone in her voice. He didn't care if he had or not though.

"No." He shouted back, taking another long slow gulp.

"Garret, we're all worried." He frowned.

"How many of you are there?" He didn't want the whole pity party camped out outside of his door, he wanted to be left alone, he wanted to be left in peace. He didn't want to be bothered by anyone else.

"Just me, but Lily, Bug, Nigel, they're all worried about you Garret, you just left yesterday and you didn't come in-" He shrugged, not caring that she couldn't see the movement, and downed another glass.

"Just leave me alone Jordan." He said and curled further against the cushions.

"Garret, let me in, or at least answer your phone." He heard his phone ringing and he glared at it contemplatively. He could just ignore it, but then she'd wind up shouting through the door at him some more. He reached out and grabbed it.

"Go away Jordan, I don't need you around." He didn't. He didn't need her anymore. He didn't need her to chase away the nightmares like she had done. He didn't need her there to soothe him, he didn't need her at all. The scotch was working again, he was chasing off the nightmares on his own. He didn't need her anymore.

He lifted the bottle to his lips yet again. "Garret, just do something dammit. Go to a meeting, rehab, talk to someone, Lily, me Stiles, do something, and not something stupid. Please." If there was one thing that could get through to him it was the lost, pained sound in her voice. He'd never heard her sound this downright afraid.

"I'm fine." He told her draining another long gulp. "I don't need anymore help." He didn't. He had all the help he needed right there, nestled in his hand. He had all the help he needed in every burning sip. He had one of the two things that could chase away his nightmares with him.

"Garret, please, just stop drinking long enough to think about what you're doing to yourself. Get sober, if only for an hour and take a long hard look at yourself." He shrugged.

"I'm coping, that's what I'm doing." He said with another gulp. "Goodbye Jordan." He said and hung up the phone.

"Garret-I meant it when I said I wasn't going to give up on you." She said just loud enough for him to hear it. He merely took another gulp from the bottle, letting the alcohol lull him into a light, dreamless sleep.