MY PLACE
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his wonderful universe don't belong to me, but to the real wizard, J.K. Rowling.
Author's Very Sorry Note: Spring Break is just around the corner (or at the end of this week for me), and I will be gone for the two weeks of it. I'm very sorry as I haven't been very good about updating recently, but I most likely won't be able to update during these two weeks. Again, I am very sorry about this.
Chapter 35: Lily's Confession
Harry returned to Gryffindor tower that night to a heaping pile of homework, which he worked quietly and resiliently on in a cozy spot by the fire.
Most senior students except for a few other studious ones were out with their loves finding secluded places to snog each other senseless. The juniors were scattered about the common room playing noisy games of Exploding Snap and Wizards Chess.
However, slowly the common room quieted. There was a moment of increased volume as the seniors returned from their evening excursions. Then the juniors drifted off yawning to bed, and the seniors dragged themselves upstairs after nearly falling asleep on various pieces of homework.
Slowly, the common room fell to silence.
Harry was finishing up a particularly long and grueling Potions essay when he heard frantically whispering voices.
"How could you do that Remus?"
It was James and his friends.
"I don't know…" a small voice answered.
An impatient, low growl persisted; "It was Harry. The guy had just pushed a lady down a flight of stairs."
A tired and no louder voice repeated; "I don't know…"
"He could have killed her!" a loud hiss pointed out.
Harry's insides froze.
"But…" the quiet voice protested softly; "He was hurt…and it was storming out…"
"Did you not just hear what Prongs said?" another voice whispered harshly; "Harry could have killed Mrs. Laskowski!"
"Look, you guys saw him!" Remus burst out finally finding his voice; "You would have regretted it."
"He was friends with Snivellus!" James shot back.
"Yeah," Peter chimed.
"He looks just like you!" Remus argued ferociously sounding very much like the werewolf he turned into once a month; "He has the same last name as you even! He could be your long lost brother!"
There was a ringing silence to that.
"That was low, Moony…" Sirius muttered and James silently left them standing awkwardly in the common room.
Moony moaned.
Harry bent back over his Potions essay with the boys' conversation buzzing about his mind.
The next day Harry pulled himself reluctantly from the warmth of his bed. He had not gotten to bed until somewhere in the wee morning hours. Tonight he promised himself an early night.
The day ticked by well enough. His professors were most impressed Harry had managed to catch up, but couldn't help noticing the dark circles under Harry's eyes. Regardless, Harry had been attentive enough in class to satisfy them. Although by the end of the day Harry found the repeated "get yourself some more sleep tonight" old.
Harry had had an epiphany of some sort in the Hospital Wing under the rising sun: he needed to sort out his affairs before they got any worse. His behavior had deteriorated greatly, and he found that by practicing Occlumency more often he could sink into a calm, self aware state.
Homework was only one thing Harry had in mind to tackle. There were many other issues Harry wanted to clean up on.
This was how Harry came to be approaching Lily after dinner that evening. She had her head hung over the Transfiguration assignment Harry had just finished. The gentle scratching of her quill dulled the sound of Harry's impending footsteps, so it wasn't until Harry sat down with a long sigh beside her that she noticed his presence.
Lily paid no immediate heed to him though until he leaned over her paper and said; "The answer is a chair."
Lily frowned.
"You don't have to take my word for it." Harry replied holding his hands up innocently.
There was a pregnant pause.
"I was wondering if we could talk." Harry said straight up when the silence between the two remained. He swept a tired hand through his hair.
Lily looked up giving Harry her attention. She remained mute though.
"I want to know what happened in Hogsmeade."
Lily appeared tired now as well; "I'm sorry. I just wasn't…wasn't ready."
"Ready?" Harry inquired incredulously gaining the awareness of the common room, who all looked curiously over.
"Shhh," Lily desperately shushed him; "Please, I'm really sorry, but…"
"But what?" Harry snapped then took a deep breath and remembered Occlumency.
"I'm sorry," Lily repeated tearfully; "It's just that…just that…"
"Yes…?" Harry said askance; "Take your time. I've got all the time in the world to hear your explanation."
"Hey, back off." James snarled in warning appearing from what seemed thin air.
"James…" Lily said faintly shutting her eyes firmly like she had a bad headache; "Please…I can handle this myself."
"Fine," James quipped; "But if you need me…"
Lily gave him a cautioning glance.
"I want to know." Harry repeated.
"I know, I know, and you deserve to know." Lily answered drained.
Harry waited patiently for Lily to gather herself together.
Gulping and straightening Lily brushed her hair behind one ear and at long last said; "It's just that you look so much like James that I couldn't go on a date with you and not see him instead of you."
"A date?"
"Me?"
Lily nodded again getting tearful; "Sorry, but…" Then she fled for the safety of her dorm room.
Harry and James gave each other bewildered, helpless looks.
"I don't want to date her." Harry told James; "I just wanted to be her friend and get to know her. I'm not interested in her!" Harry pulled a face at the thought; dating his own mother? That was definitely a no, no.
James sighed. "That's comforting." he confessed truthfully with surprising kindness.
"I can't believe she thought that." Harry muttered; "I've never…"
"Well, you were getting pretty close to her, and then asking her to Hogsmeade? That seemed to cinch the idea for most people, but if you say…" James responded shaking his head in disbelief at the atrocious confusion.
"Say," Harry interjected abruptly; "You wouldn't happen to know a way to get up to the girls dorms would you?"
James grinned; "What makes you think I would?"
Harry grinned with him.
An hour later James delivered Harry safely up to the girls' dorms. It was a simple idea really; flying up to the window outside Lily's window. However, you had to find where the windows were which proved to be more complicated than it appeared. They had spent a good half hour searching the castle wall for the concealed windows. To reveal the windows a simple revealing charm was all that was needed, but it only searched five bricks at a time.
"Lily…!" Harry whispered loudly rapping gently against the newly found window panes.
The alarmed face of Lily Evans greeted Harry at the window; "Harry! What are doing?"
"I need to talk to you again!" Harry insisted; "Please…"
"No," Lily murmured embarrassedly; "I think we've had enough conversations tonight."
"Lily…" Harry said jiggling the window open; "I'd really like to talk to you and explain."
Lily gazed hesitantly at Harry and James's proffered hands then determinedly gripped them, and the boys helped Lily through the window onto the broomstick and out into the chilly moonlight night. James wrapped a thoughtful, extra cloak around her shoulders.
They flew to the top of the Quidditch Stadium and sat there for a slow instant before talking.
"Lily, I've never wanted to date you." Harry told her gently; "I asked you as a friend to Hogsmeade. That's all I want…to be your friend."
Lily nodded slowly; "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, but you really do look like James. All James has done to me is ask me out, and all I've ever done is tell him no."
Harry nodded too.
James spoke up uncomfortably; "Er, Lily…?"
Lily jumped suddenly remembering James was with her. In fact, he was just at her other side.
"I-I can stop asking you out…if that's what you want." James offered.
Lily stared greatly shocked at his proposal.
James turned red and looked away.
"I think that's the first time I've heard to you think of me instead of you." Lily replied; "I…that…that would be very nice. Thank you, James."
Harry smiled from his position. It was amazing what Lily's confession had wrought.
They sat outside pointing out constellations and chattering until the crescent moon shone at its highest. Harry's tiredness was forgotten under the impressive night sky with the company of his to be parents.