It was nice to come home finally. Not nice to have a pile of work from school waiting for her, but Helga could manage it well enough. She was a little bit more happier to feel free from the double edge sword of Bob. Felt that Olga being there in mind helped get her through. Still as everyone told her they were glad she was back in the boarding house, Helga went upstairs to Arnold's room. Someone she wanted to see more privately without the hubbub of the hospital.
Wandering into his room, Helga went up to him to gently hug him. She still had to be careful of his ribs and even her own wounds. She held him happy to know that they were both alive still. Happy she had someone like him in her life. When she was feeling better, Helga would need to do the same with Brainy.
"You and Brainy did so much for me." She squeezed her eyes shut. "How did you find me?"
Arnold cherished this embrace loving every second of it. He didn't want her to break free of it. "Brainy and I have special gifts in order to locate you it seems." It sounded so egotistical, but it was accurate.
Moving slightly away, Helga brought him to his couch so she can sit down. It was tiring to stand up for so long after all. "I wanted to talk to you without anyone hearing." She paused in thought. "When I was first knocked out I think I was really talking to my sister." She maybe should of waited to talk to Phoebe about this. "You know what, just forget I said anything."
He stopped her from leaving. "Tell me, Helga. I won't make fun of you. You should know this."
Moving to get up just to close his door, Helga came to sit back down. "To tell you the truth, I don't know if it was real or not. To even say this to Dr Bliss would qualify me for the looney farm. You should see that check list they want you to answer before they see you."
"True and I have seen that list before." Arnold placed a gentle hand on her. "Just tell me what happened."
So she told him in the best way she could explain without her feeling like a deranged psycho doing so. How it felt to have Olga not even leaving her side when she needed it most. How it comforted her. How she sometimes did retreat into that space to be with her. It felt good to have family want to be there to keep her safe for once.
"Do you think it is possible that I was actually speaking to her?" Helga wondered out loud before shaking her head almost violently. "No! That's impossible."
Arnold felt it within him that it was true. "When my parents were gone all that time, I use to feel them with me still. Oh I know that they aren't dead, but it was this feeling of knowing deep within you. It is often those feelings that grandma gets at times. Feelings where I know she isn't crazy." His finger brushed against her skin. "To me, I think she was there when you needed someone the most. She was there for her younger sister. Something that you always seemed to have craved before."
"Yeah. Who knows?" Perhaps it was better if she didn't over think this right now. "How's the ribs?"
Sighing, Arnold adjusted himself to properly not make himself less sorer. "Well I won't know fully until the end of this week, but it seems to be feeling a little better. Not a lot, but it is okay. What about you?"
Shrugging, Helga seemed to melt more against the cushions. "Still weak. They always tell you to rest in the hospital, but how can you when they are always waking you up?" Her eyes went down to where their hands were still joined. "Still it is nice to come home."
"You really aren't going to live with your mother?"
She felt a bit more independent here. Not that she wasn't independent in her old house with them not caring about her. "I'm staying here. I love it here. I'll visit her and stuff."
Watching her close her eyes, Arnold wasn't surprised at how fast she drifted off to sleep. Getting up, he carefully swung her legs up on the couch so she could rest more comfortably. He was happy she was safe now.
When it came time to finally come back to school, Helga felt a little overwhelmed by everyone gathering around her to ask her questions. Feeling a hand wrap around hers, she looked up to find Ludwig leading her away. She almost smiled at her personal bodyguard it seemed as he kept people at bay.
"Brainy!" Helga called out loud enough for him to hear her. She smiled at him as he walked towards her. This was the other person she hadn't been able to thank yet personally.
Brainy smiled at her shyly as usual when he got close to her. "Uh, hi."
Stepping forward, Helga hugged him. "Thanks, Brainiac." Pulling away from him all she could see was his red face.
"Anything for you." He breathed in a few deep in and out breaths before he can continue. "We wanted you safe."
She was a little surprised that he decided to leave. Shrugging she went into first period with Ludwig beside her. They chatted as they wandered up to their seats, and continued doing so until Lila stepped in front of them with muffins in her possession.
Lila smiled shakily down to Helga. She was nervous to speak to her. "Morning. These are chocolate chip muffins. I wanted to offer you one to tell you I'm glad that you are fine." Sitting down at the desk in front of Helga, Lila felt so bad. "I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that."
Helga studied Lila. She appeared more beaten than she was. "No strawberry surprise in these?" Her voice lowered so no one can hear her except for her two companions.
"I promise that there isn't any." Lila watched as Ludwig took one to eat. She guessed he was, Helga's taster.
Ludwig nodded his head over to Helga. "Nothing dangerous."
Taking one as well, Helga tapped the top of it. "Why are you trying to be nice all of a sudden?"
"I was an idiot." Standing up, Lila wondered if it was best to speak more in private. "I don't have feelings for Arnold. I do have feelings for Arnie still. I unfortunately like, Baxter." She sighed while she twisted her foot. "I was very jealous of you. You are everything that even I wanted to be, and wanted to have. You did have the whole family with the perfect sister." Thinking about what her father wished to do with, Helga turned her stomach. "I just hate myself for everything I did and try to do to you. I feel no better than what your dad was trying with you."
Lifting her eyebrow up, Helga leaned back away from her. "Trust me in what I say here: Yeah there are some things that you did that qualified for a full face slapping, but you aren't close to him. You didn't try to kill me and than turn around to try to sell me for prostitution." Lila gasped at that one. "Yeah he actually sold me to someone for that."
Lila sat down again at that information. She was fully shocked. That would be torturous. Helga could be crude at times, but even she knew that Helga was someone who took pride in herself.
Putting her hands together in her lap, Helga almost sighed. "You did some screwed up things and karma did deal you a hand. I just hope you learn from it since it is a pretty fucking wasteful life. Look what happened to my father." The side of her mouth screwed up into a rueful smile. "Not that you aren't him, but I wouldn't want you ending up anywheres near that."
Wiping a little moisture away from the corner of her eye, Lila got up to immediately hug her. Hearing her issue a pained sound had her pulling away. "I'm so sorry."
Rubbing her shoulder, Helga waved the apology away. "You didn't know. I healed a bit faster than, Arnold, but I still feel it." Meaning where she got shot. "Also to warn you, I got shot twice so be warned. Phoebe isn't taking a chance in hugging me right now."
Fully understanding, Lila smiled at her. "That must be torture to her. I remember how she always wants to hug you."
Chuckling, Helga nodded her head. "You don't know the half of it. So it is me that has to be the first to hug someone when I feel like it."
After speaking for a little while longer, Helga went to open up her journal after Lila left, and Ludwig went to read his bible. Soon it will be June, and soon she will see Kyoyo. Still as she thought of him, Arnold's green eyes popped up. The memory of his lips meeting hers that one heated night. Feeling a hand gently touch her, Helga looked to her left at Ludwig.
"You are talking aloud." He whispered.
Meaning she must of been talking about, Arnold. Thanking him, Helga decided to crack open a text book instead to work on some stuff in there instead. Better to be safe than sorry.
The house seemed to be filled with too many nightmares in itself. Miriam already had a few Realtors over to look over the place. She knew the place was now considered a fixer upper. She also knew that people might be scared away from the history also.
She sighed heavily as she stood in the hallway. Front door was open just to invite an easy getaway for herself. She hated this place now. She looked forward to pushing forward with her life.
Hearing footsteps entering, Miriam wasn't expecting anyone, but she loved who stood there. "My baby." She smiled at her daughter as she closed the door behind her. "What do I owe this pleasure?"
Helga quirked her eyebrow up at her formality while she neared her mother. "I'm just here visiting. What's up?"
Miriam wanted to hug her, but felt like she would suffocate her. Years of neglect and now wanting to pay attention to her, Miriam wanted to envelop her in her arms. She wanted to give her so much love. "Had about ten Realtors here to look over the place. I can either fix up the place myself or have it listed as a fixer upper."
Seeing that the wallpaper seen better days, Helga hadn't felt like touching it for years. "Brownstones like this is often a good deal. What about the business?"
"I'm keeping it. I know the business pretty well. Much better than he did so I'm handling it, but under a different name. Money wise, everything is good. Nothing is in the red." Miriam informed her. "I will get an apartment that might be a three bedroom or a two bedroom plus a den."
Helga moved forward still feeling like she was invading this property. After so many years, it just never went away. "Just in case I come to visit?"
Miriam smiled hopefully. "Yes. I would love that. I just want the extra space for an office." Seeing how her daughter moved in such a tentative way around the space she had to wonder. "What is it dear?"
"For years I never felt welcomed here at all. I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but it did." Seeing Bob's old chair, Helga felt hatred. She glared at it just wishing to destroy it.
Excusing herself, Miriam left Helga alone. Coming back she had a large butcher knife in her hand to give to her. "I give you permission."
Helga studied the sharp piece in her possession. Her mind remembered the many times her father belittled her from that chair especially. It was such a small gesture, but felt so needed as she stepped forward to stand over that THING. She eyed the ugly fabric. She could still smell him coming off that blasted thing.
Raising the knife in her hand, Helga struck down right at the headrest. Fabric ripping and tearing. Over and over again in various locations, she was lost in the whole menagerie of it all. Each word and look he gave her was being hit hard with the sharp blade.
From behind, Miriam watched her daughter go at it. Helga grunting and cursing at this man. Seeing the tears fall from those vibrant blues, Miriam covered her mouth as she walked a bit closer. To hear her talk to this dead person whom she hated had her tearing up.
"Why wasn't I ever good enough?!" The frame was becoming so exposed that it was a skeleton now. "I hate you! I HATE YOU! I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD!" Dropping the knife, Helga fell on her rear as she continued to cry. "I hate you." She squeaked out.
Miriam wrapped her arms around her gently. "Anything else you want to destroy of his?"
Helga chuckled at that question as she lifted her head up to look at her mother. "That stupid belt of his." She hissed out.
Running her hand through Helga's hair, Miriam thought about that. "I give you free reign there, but do you think it will help you?"
She shook her head. "No, but what I will do is make something of myself. Something that I will be proud of."
"That's my girl." Miriam spoke in approval as she viewed this house. "I'll keep the more sentimental things that belonged to my girls. I'm giving the rest away to charity. I want to start anew."
"I like that idea." Helga thought the house had such a dark feeling always in it. It never was a home when she was young till the day she left it. That boarding house always felt like a home to her.
It was around ten at night and Lila could hear, Baxter in the hallway speaking to her mother. He decided to go out on a weekday date with a girl from school. Someone he deemed interesting in a couple of facets. Someone who had, Lila wandering over to her bedroom door to listen in to the conversation.
"How was your date?" Annabeth inquired sweetly.
"Oh it was fine actually. We are going out this friday to a movie so who knows." Was his response.
Lila frowned. He actually sounded hopeful. While he sounded cocky with other girls, this time he sounded more grounded. Her shoulders sagged as she relented into listening any further just to head back to bed. What was the use in this?
XX
Even though she asked that question, Lila still wandered over to where Helga normally sat alone at times. Today, she was happy she was there writing in her journal. Something that was interesting about her. She was very talented in her writings.
Judging how she appeared, Lila had to respect that she didn't fit the norm. Helga dressed the way she felt comfortable. She didn't care to fit in so it was always this, take it or leave it attitude. As she stood there observing her, Lila spotted the true unique spirit about her. How different she looked compared to many blondes around. Even Olga looked like everyone else.
Lila stepped forward towards her when Helga lifted her head up to see her. She waved at her hoping she wouldn't leave. She watched at how that blonde hair captured the light and made her shine like an angel. Still the wariness in, Helga's expression was not like one.
"Hello, Helga. May I speak to you?"
Helga considered her before pointing with her finger to sit down. "What's the haps?"
"I like Baxter."
"Um yeah, you did mention that." Helga drawled out. "Also I'm not someone with her head so far up her ass to notice something. While he did mention it to me, I did have to think about it." She almost hit herself for thinking about it. "He does love going for girls who have something interesting about them. Rhonda is rich and loves fashion, but how many socialites will be in the mud with you playing sports?"
Lila thought about herself. "I played baseball with you guys before."
Scoffing, Helga almost guffawed, but didn't want to attract the attention of, Wolfgang. "Yeah you played with us a long ass time back, but you fucking skipped to the bases. You also had the other boys mostly catching the balls. That boy was mostly, Arnold."
She cringed. "I'm ever so awful."
"You know for a former farm girl, you are surprisingly meek." Helga pointed out. She watched as Lila was stewing in front of her. "Act like a lady sometimes, but seriously!" Extending her arms out, Helga felt a pull in her muscle. "Take some chances."
Arnold wandered outside to locate Helga. Smiling at her speaking to Lila, Arnold loved how vibrant she got each time she spoke. How alive she appeared. He sighed in his loving response till he noticed a pained expression on her face. It was slight, but enough to bring him to her to sit down.
She felt weak after she pulled her muscle just now. She leaned against him thankful that he came out when he did. "I have a question for you, Lila." Her heart leaped at Arnold taking her hand. "If you managed to get him, and it doesn't work, what will happen after?"
Lila thought about it knowing that it would be foolhardy to do. Refocusing on, Helga instead, she asked. "What happened?"
"I am still not a hundred percent right now so I have to avoid certain things." Her eyes were feeling heavy. "I don't want to miss any more school."
Arnold had to assure her. "You won't, but the doctor did tell you to rest when you felt this way. The nurse knows about you so maybe you can go there to sleep a little."
Nodding her head, Helga told him to help her there. Hearing Lila offer to help too almost had her make a joke, but she just shrugged it off.
XX
After dropping Helga off at the nurses, Arnold stood there for some time till lunch was almost over. Leaving while she was sleeping, he went to her next class with a note telling the teacher were she was. The teacher was fully understanding telling him that she was all caught up. Also with her taking the initiative to do some extra credit assignments on her own, Helga was good there.
Heading to his own class, Arnold told Gerald what happened before their own teacher came in. "She dealt with a lot of trauma so the doctor and Dr Bliss said that this is perfectly normal."
Gerald frowned still. "Still odd though to hear since this is our very own, Hell Girl. She always acted impervious to most things." Seeing his friend's disapproving face, Gerald waved his hand at him. "I know. She was just good at masking a lot."
His eyes went between his book to the chalkboard. "I just hate it."
"I know, but Helga will pull through and be herself in no time. I know you care about the girl. Just have your ever good loving faith behind you in knowing this." Gerald perked a smile up hoping it would cheer his friend up. "Trust me. Helga is one strong cookie."
Arnold knew he was correct there. Helga was very strong. She just went through something deeply stressful so her body was still reacting to it.
XX
Helga woke up feeling a little bit better. Checking the time she saw she only had one class left for the day. Getting up slowly she smiled at the nurse who asked her if she was really fine to go. Telling that she was alright now, Helga saw Arnold walking through the door.
"He's been checking on you at every hour." The Nurse smiled at her.
It sounded like the woman was hinting at something more as, Helga neared him. "I feel rested."
Happy to see some color returned to her face, Arnold smiled at the beauty in front of him. "I'm glad. Ready for Algebra?"
"Yeah."
Leaving the office, Arnold wanted to hold her hand. He wanted to wrap his arm around her waist, but he just settled with walking beside her. "You are caught up with your other classes so they said there are no assignments. Also Phoebe got your book out of your locker since we do have work in this class."
Going to grab her book, Helga made a face when he kept it away from her. "You know I'm not crippled."
He loved that she snapped at him. He smiled at her. "I know, but please let me."
Mumbling something under her breath, Helga relented. "Fine."
She sounded like her grumbling old self right there, Arnold couldn't wipe the smile off his face as they entered class together. Feeling her poke him after they sat down, Arnold felt excited that she was doing this again.
"Ignoring me now?" She poked him lightly on the shoulder.
Arnold continued to smile until he felt something wet hit him in the back of his head. Reaching back to take a spit wad away he turned to face her as she appeared innocent. "Helga."
Hands clasped together like an angel, Helga turned her innocent eyes to him. "What?"
Holding out the spit wad in his open palm, Arnold asked, "Did you do this?"
"Nope." Still innocent.
Wishing to call her bluff, Arnold decided to take it one step further in making her confess. "Than I guess you have no qualms if I do this."
Helga watched as he brought the wad towards his mouth. Her eyes became wide at his boldness before smacking it away from him. "Fine! Sheesh." Crossing her arms over her chest, Helga almost sneered. "Just because we swapped spit doesn't mean I want you to put that in your mouth."
"I'm glad you confessed to me, Helga. Doesn't it feel good?"
She shook her head before lifting her book up to open it. "No it doesn't."
Turning in his seat, Arnold felt smug throughout the entire class period. It always felt a little good to one up her.
Helga had enough scars on her body from all the rough housing she had done over the years. None of that truly bothered her. What bothered her was staring back at her. It was stuff that mostly was in her head as she laid her eyes on where the scars will be. Scars that will remind her what she went through.
She stared at her skinny body in the mirror, but all she could see was the reminder of her injuries. She sighed as she placed a gentle finger on one. Her eyes closed as she pressed believing there was still a bullet in there, but there wasn't.
*Flashback*
Bob leaned down. "You know what they'll do to you." He wiggled his phone in front of her to show her the ending bid. "Do you want to guess?"
Helga sat there knowing what will happen to her. She'd rather die right now.
"They really seem to believe that you are pretty." He slapped her against the face gently. "Nah. Oh ho ho ho. You were never pretty to begin with."
She glanced away from him but he jerked her face back harshly.
"They want to believe that about you. That's fine. I want to believe all the torture they'll put you through. I'm going to smoke in celebration after you are gone." Bob chuckled.
X
She released a jerky breath at that memory. Grabbing her clothes to place on her again, Helga smiled into the mirror. "Well you are gone and this, so called mistake, is still here, Asshole." She hissed.
A/N: Alright folks I will be honest but I didn't edit this chapter at all. I haven't been feeling good at all this week to the point of where I've been falling down more and stuff like that. My disease, while not contagious to others, it has deeply affected my body to the point where I don't know with way is up or down at this point. So for right now this will be the last update for a while. Also I will let you know that the story I'm co-writing with Everclear, "When a Caterpillar turns into a Butterfly" will also be on hiatus. With her and having a new baby and me like this, it will be a miracle if we turn out anything.
Thanks for the reviews and understanding.