Almost 10k words total. Glad to conclude the cliffhanger with its well, conclusion.
Warning for slight gore and the like.
Chaptar 25: Rise Among the Ashes! Cia's Return?!
- The introduction starts off with "Plaza Nights(Vocal Version) from Splatoon-
The lovely Squid Sisters Callie and Marie return once more as they entertain the audience with their musical talents. The audience roars once more as they anticipate their recap of the last chapter. Both of them seem to be in eager spirits as they managed to book their special guest star today!
"Hello everyone!" greeted Marie.
"Welcome to another exciting chapter, ahem, I mean chaptar of the Hot Topic Krew!" Callie added, correcting herself on an simple mistake.
"Today, we've managed to book an extremely special guest star! He'll be joining us very shortly... speaking of which, he's here now!" Marie said, glancing over her left direction.
Part of the stage begins to rise up as it reveals an DJ set. An figure with the wackiest hair anyone has ever seen has their back facing the audience to temporarily conceal their identity.
"Alright everyone, give it up for special guest star DJ PROFESSOR K!" Callie shouted.
Everyone cheered as the man turned around, being none other than the famous underground black DJ who ran the famous pirate radio station for rudies, Jet Set Radio.
- "Plaza Nights(Vocal Version)" begins to fade away as it is replaced by "Funky Radio" from Jet Set Radio-
"What's up everybody? Did you know that this is being recorded love on JET SET RAAAAAAAAAAAADIO!"
Everyone cheered as the Squid Sisters clapped. Great music blared from the speakers as the audience got their grove on.
"Alright fools, last chaptar of the Hot Topic Krew, Dark Pit and company finally go out to meet the Shadow Whisperer to learn how to take down Lana's evil shadow once and for all. Meanwhile, the evil Icarus and his cronies got an new line up coming soon to terrorize the world, ranging from the twisted traitorous wizard Wizzro, the diabolical Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the oddly created Peridot, to even the Masked Man!" said Professor K.
"The Masked Man... wait isn't that Claus?!" Callie asked, being slightly amazed.
"Well, according to Porky Minch, it used to be Claus. Now it's one of his slave bots who works under him," informed Marie.
"From there on, the evil Lana counterpart summon Bane has been causing havoc, even murdering an Koopa Troopa by the name of Larry! On the other hand, Lana runs into her boyfriend Crossbow Training Link out of nowhere in Melee City. Don't you find that quite suspicious because I for sure as hell do!" Professor K said.
"Definitely, it appears that Crossbow Training Link is hiding something from his girlfriend as well," added Marie.
"Perhaps a secret. Hopefully this one isn't bizarre as Link's secret where it turned out he was an Animorph all along! I am still not quite over that," exclaimed Callie.
"Whatever it is, he better come clean or else that fool's going to learn the hard way," the DJ expressed.
"Shortly after, the Krew got to meet Yu Narukami, the Shadow Whisperer. He informed them that in order to defeat the evil Anal, the original counterpart must accept her own shadow. After all, they're an twisted mirror image of the person they represent," said Callie.
"Oh my, just knowing the kind of person the original owner is, we definitely can see this taking an long time," Marie exclaimed. She softly sighed, shaking her head.
"When the Hot Topic Krew got done, they came face to face with none other than Bane himself! Meanwhile, the others got to deal with the evil shadow. Both groups had plans of luring their foes on the roof however, it quickly backfired, wiping both sides clean! Luckily their former tactician Cia showed up to save the day and spare them some time! Now with the battle going on, will they manage to put an end to Anal once and for all or will the shadow walk out with no survivors! Tune in to... Chaptar 25: Rise Among the Ashes?! Cia's Return!" said Professor K.
The crowd roared once more as the trio waved.
- "Bedight Orbit" from Legend of Mana begins playing-
"WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU TO SHOW UP!" Anal screamed. She couldn't believe Cia managed to get stronger, but how?
"Well, an little bird told me that I was needed," Cia replied, mocking the shadow.
Anal noticed that she was holding the Scepter of Souls, the one who belonged to none other than Kynthia herself.
"Oh, so your pathetic excuse of an mother managed to write you an message before she became all depressed. At the time we didn't think about it, but we should have killed her back then and there! It would have made my life ten times easier," Anal replied.
"Oh shut up!" Cia answered, summoning an laser beam as it aimed at Anal's direction as the shadow barely dodged. Cia then managed to side step and whack Bane on the back.
"Lana, help?!" she ordered.
Lana nodded yet for some reason, couldn't. None of the words for the moves, spells even didn't want to come up. Every time she tried to cast magic, she froze in place.
"I guess if you can't do anything, I'll take on these two myself," said the dark sorceress. She summoned up to four Dark Links as they made their way towards their foes, swinging their blades.
Palutena was at the outskirts of town with the other Heroes of Light members. Toadette held onto some robotic binoculars as she looked around with them on.
"Oh Palutena!" said the mushroom girl. "What was it like reuniting with your former science teacher?"
"Well, it was quite nice. I got to introduce Dry Bowser to the angel twins and it turns out, he's fairly fond of them both. Are you perhaps arranging that you would like to meet him sometime," Palutena teased.
"O-of c-course! Who wouldn't want to meet Dry Bowser!" Toadette exclaimed.
Paula appeared to be in deep thought as she managed to get into contact with Silver.
"Palutena," exclaimed the PSI expert. "I managed to just get into contact with Silver. In fact, he's willing to take us to finally meet S.T.E.A.M."
"That's excellent. Pit is currently helping out the others with an battle of their own but I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear of the great news."
Zelda appeared to be in deep thought. She glanced over at her iPhone, quickly noticing that she managed to get into contact with the FBI about taking down an certain malicious website. Jigglypuff managed to somehow get an glimpse of her screen as the fairy Pokemon glanced at her.
"I thought you despised Cia."
"Well, the feeling is still mutual yes but... I feel that hating her for petty reasons is rather disgusting. It took me up until now to realize that and honestly, part of me feels more sorry for her than anything else. I guess you could say I'm starting to grow up," Zelda replied back. "That doesn't mean I dislike her for almost killing the people of Hyrule though. At least that's more of an valid reason."
Jigglypuff smiled as she nodded. It was nice to see the princess grow up and stop hating people for Mewtwo like reasons.
Fox seemed to be on his laptop while Sonic noticed something up in the sky playing over and over again. Of course, the Way Past Cool Dick couldn't stop laughing as Mario wondered what was funny. Soon, Mr. Nintendo looked up and noticed what Sonic saw.
"Mama Mia..."
-"Bedight Orbit" begins resuming on once more.-
During the midst of battle, an magical screen few over the entire populous of Melee City. For some reason, it showed an naked Shrek and Shadow engaging in hot shrecks. Everyone to include both Bane and Anal froze in their tracks as their eyes laid on the screen. Of course, Anal recognized both of them while Dark Pit screeched.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" he cried. Lucas patted his boyfriend's back before making an face as he looked away. For Pit, once glance caused him to scream as well before peeking once more because honestly, who doesn't look back at horrific things? They were just young children after all and sex was the last thing that plagued their minds for the most part.
Robin's jaw just dropped while Shadow tried to move away in shame. It was already embarrassing having your past sex life exposed however the last thing he wanted to be questioned by was his entire Krew mates themselves.
Warrior Link glanced up and saw what he remembered as the evil Shrek the first time they encountered the groups back at the Capri-Sun Factory battle while they were engaged in battle with one another. Just watching the sex tape made things more awkward as he sighed.
"It's official... the apocalyptic future isn't looking that bad right- OW!"
The blonde winced in pain as Viridi smacked him with her staff. She just stared at the sex tape and shrugged as if it was nothing. After all, she's done an lot more things that were far worse than Shrek and Shadow's personal time together combined.
"Hey! Let's just say since I'm friends with your grandmother that I get scolding privileges too," she exclaimed a matter-of-factly.
"That doesn't juristic you permission to hit people for no reason!" complained Warrior Link.
"Yes it does. I'm mother fucking nature bitch!" Viridi replied.
Cia's jaw dropped as she wondered what everyone was talking about. There it was, the sex tape Shrek tried so hard to get back from Fury and to hide from his beloved Elsa. Lana noticed the sex tape as well and stared dumbfoundedly as she wondered what was going on.
"Is that Shrek from high school?!" Cia questioned, slightly bewildered under her mask.
"Yes, that's the Shrek who went with high school with us," Robin answered back.
"What the fuck, you guys went to high school together?!" Greninja asked. It almost sounded too sketchy then again the water frog Pokemon wasn't there for the tale of Viridi's senior year which that can be easily recapped in Chaptar 12 if you really want to refresh yourself.
"Yes," both of them answered at once. "However, now isn't the time for some High School Musical story," Cia added.
Soon, they were interrupted by Anal's laughing fit as she watched the sex tape for its tenth duration.
"Oh my fucking god... Who would have thought that ugly piece of shit Shrek would actually fuck Shadow the Hedgehog... I'm crying over here. This is fucking gold! Oh my god, I hope Nui and Phosphora are seeing this shit because it's hil~lari~ous!" Anal sang.
"Wait... Phosphora has actually sunk that low enough to make fun of children now?!" Viridi explained, sounding rather pissed off. She knew Shrek was an adult however, compared to her and Phosphora's age, they can still be considered wee little lads. "That doesn't sound like her at all. I should know, I used to be her friend back in high school along with the other divine beings!"
"Some people change you know," Anal rebuttled back. "After all, she said she found you guys quite boring then again, she's just going through her midlife crisis. She's bound to cry traitor once she learns about the true mastermind. Plus, who would want to be friends with an midget, some stupid southern bell trash, a stupid floozy and some pathetic excuse of an fat bitch! Oh if only I had the extracting device right now, I would have removed your essence an long time ago you piece of shit!"
Before Viridi could say anything, Bane kicked her gut, causing the small goddess to let go of her staff and roll close to the edge. Anal dodged an couple of Dark Links thrown at her way as she noticed Cia's fighting becoming quite reckless, due to most likely insulting her own mother.
"Aww, is the wittle witch made that I insulted her mother... Oh puh-lease, get the fuck over it! All the thing I simply stated was the truth," said Lana's shadow. She opened up her tome as she casted an electric golden block right where Cia was standing, causing her to slightly fly back.
"It's kind of hilarious how dumbass over here chickened out leaving you to take on me on alone. Isn't that sad, then again it was to be expected. After all, Lana was always an useless piece of shit anyways, just an Hatsune Miku ripoff who's only purpose was taking up space!" Anal said, taunting her once more.
Cia growled as she did one of her sexy, killer stomps which is pretty OP and used to clear keeps extremely fast as it slightly caused Anal to get off balance as she extended the Scepter of Souls as it mimicked an whip, hitting the shadow with it.
"Lana!" she yelled. "You need to accept your shadow otherwise this will just continue to go on!"
"But... but I can't... I'll would never say or think any of those things..." she whined back.
"GOD DAMN IT LANA! DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM SHIA LABEOUF!" her sister screamed back.
"I... I did Sissy but... but... Anal's so mean and I'm so nice!" she cried back.
"DAMN IT LANA! Nobody's purely that nice! You must be suppressing your thoughts, bad memories... I can just tell, after all, some of my memories feel hazy almost if they're being blocked by some spell!" she replied back.
Before Lana knew it, Bane ambushed Cia from her right side, causing her mask to fly off as it revealed her face.
"CIA!"
"Looks like we're almost done tacking the dark sorceress down. I'll let Bane play with his new toy while I finally dispose of your fatass once and for all Lana!" Anal simply stated.
-"Starlight Highway" from Snowboard Kids 2 begins playing-
Icarus observed the tank once more to make sure everything was going as planned. The last thing he needed was things to start going wrong, especially his dear Project S.A.R.A. failing on him. The man placed his hand on the glass, observing the figure which was inside the tank.
"Soon the time will be rightfully ours my child," he thought out loud.
Deciding that he already seen enough, he turned around as he headed towards his office. The angel stepped inside, pressing an button to shut the doors behind him as he sat down in the chair, pressing an button to see what was going on.
On an small monitor, revealed the battle between Anal, Bane and the Hot Topic Krew. He noticed an good chunk of those nuisances seemed to be down and unable to fight. His lips curled as he patiently awaited Anal's return after she completes her mission of riding Cia once and for all.
"You can try and fight her all you want but you know your efforts are deemed useless you little brat! Perhaps maybe you won't be alone in the afterlife as it appears your sister will be there right alongside you. Isn't that quite the tragic tale, little sister thinks older sister is dead, just to be reunited and die on death's doorstep!" he said to his "audience."
The man took an sip of his wine as he observed the battle. In the overhead, the Shrek and Shadow sex tape still played out in the sky as Icarus managed to catch an glimpse, almost spitting out his drink.
"What the hell was that..."
Soon the screen changed as it showed one of his assistants, the hot Camilla who's game isn't even out yet. She wore an nice suit along with those square glasses as she held an clipboard.
"Sir Icarus, it appears that Gutsman is almost close to tracking off the possible location of S.T.E.A.M.," she informed.
"Excellent. Soon we'll be able to put an stop to S.T.E.A.M. before they'll even be able to initiate their plans. Besides one of their biggest supports is here in town as we speak! He may not look like much but that man knows an lot more than the public eye thinks! I should perhaps prevent him from coming into full-fledge contact with the group before they initiate battle."
Camilla just simply nodded. She then remembered something before she decided to return back to doing her job.
"Oh one more thing sir, you might want to look at this!" She then manage to display an picture of none other than Master Hand himself as he appeared to be wandering around the middle of nowhere.
"Hmm, it appears that Master Hand is still alive... Perhaps I should lend him an hand and confiscate him," he said, making an terrible pun. Camilla just nodded once more before allowing him back to his work.
-"Eclipse of the Moon" from Hyrule Warriors begins playing.-
It has been an hour and an half since Cia's battle against the big guy Bane and the evil Anal had begun. The sorceress was starting to get weary as she was beginning to tap into her life force once more to keep her energy up.
Thankfully however, an plane appeared out of nowhere as it startled the villains, landing on the roof. Shortly after, an man came out as he went down to see what the commotion was all about.
"Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA," said Bill Wilson.
Everyone glanced at one another, being extremely confused by CIA's overall appearance. Dark Pit wondered why he was even up here to begin with as wouldn't someone working in the CIA have something better to do.
"I notice someone's copyright infringing on a song," said CIA.
"WHAT?!" yelled Cia. "This is MY theme song! How the hell am I copyright infringing?!"
"Is your name CIA?" asked CIA.
"... Satan fucking Judas," said the dark sorceress. However, before he could confiscate his new theme song, he happened to catch an glimpse of an certain man, Bane.
"Hey big guy... is that you?"
"Yes."
CIA approached Bane as Anal tilted her head before groaning!
"UGH! Kill that bastard already so we can get rid of Cia once and for all!" she complained. However, Bane didn't listen to her.
"Shut the fuck up!" Bane simply told her which startled Anal. "I am no longer under your mere mind control! Instead, I snapped out of it when I found my past lover, Bill Wilson."
Bill Wilson x Bane is my true OTP. Best ship, everyone else go home.
"You're a big guy," said CIA.
"For you!" Bane said all smexy.
Soon, Bane decided to forfeit the match because CIA somehow promised he was allowed to crash an plane with no survivors if he did so, plus its CIA. And in addition to this, Anal was controlling poor Bane so he's not going to listen to her anymore. Serves her right!
"Lana..." Cia said. Now was the perfect chance to get her to accept herself seeing how Anal was too busy being pissed off by Bane's betrayal. Hell, it was now even them fighting one another in addition to it.
"Please... you need to accept your shadow no matter how difficult it is... trust me."
"I... I can't... I would never say anything terrible Cia! You know this," she cried.
"LIES!" Cia snapped. "At the Bubblegum and Grape soda factory, you told me I was an fat shack of shit. I remember that clearly."
"No I didn't! That was Anal!"
"No it wasn't! There was never no demon inside of you! The entire time, it was just you anger because you've repressed it so much. Lana, listen to me, it's okay to be angry at me, it's okay to be angry at Mom, Dad, hell even your patriotic loving ex-boyfriend! After all, imperfections are what make us human. Is there perhaps something you don't want to remember?" she asked.
Lana began shaking as she nodded. She then placed her hands over her head, trying her best to seal something.
Shadow noticed something as he was able to recall an conversation he had back a few months ago.
"So, about her personality. is she really that childish or is it all an act?"
"Well, she really is pure at heart that's for sure but she used to be much smarter than this a long time ago. I like to think she saw something that really traumatized her that prevents her from surpassing the age of twelve or something," Shia replied.
"Cia!" Shadow shouted, "get that pink bracelet and destroy it immediately!"
Cia noticed the pink bracelet changing all sorts of colors. So in response, she glided over, removed it and stomped on it, breaking the device completely. This allowed for Lana's memory spell to become obsolete as the fabricated memories died away as Cia, Robin and the rest of those who knew Lana in the past regained their true memories.
Soon, Lana was able to remember that day...
-"True" from Silent Hill 2 begins playing-
It took place about fourteen years ago. An young Lana clutched tightly onto her Princess Link doll her mother made her ever since she was born. The little girl brought it everywhere she went, seeing how it was the only thing besides her sisters who kept her company and eased her anxieties. She was humming an tune as she stopped in place and noticed an group of girls laughing about something. Lana quietly whimpered as she recognized them to be none other than bullies yet for some reason, they were friends with Cia's best friend at the time, Zelda.
"Hey Zelda," exclaimed the first girl.
"Yeah?"
"Why do you put up with the hog anyways?" asked the second girl.
"Yeah, what is it like being around that hamplanet anyways?" asked the third girl.
Zelda stood quiet for an moment before suddenly bursting into an giggle fit, startling the other girls. They were confused on why the young princess was laughing so hard yet waited for her to catch her breath.
"You guys actually think I'm friends with her... Oh my god, you guys are so hilarious," laughed Zelda.
"What do you mean?" the fourth girl questioned, being the more ditzy one.
"I'm just using her. The only reason why I'm stuck with her in the first place is because my father and her father work together. My father pretty much told me to be her friend and keep her company not because I wanted to but because it's an coworkers daughter. I hate the fact that he's such good friends with her father too so I have to like see her all the time too to include her annoying little sister. They're both so irritating!" complained the princess.
"Wow, that sucks," said the second girl.
"I honestly feel sorry for you," said the first girl.
"Thankfully you feel the same way as we do. Perhaps you can just keep milking her until you get what you want. After all, it doesn't seem like she'll ever catch on. She's too fat and stupid to do that," said the third girl.
The girls giggled once more before moving away. Little Lana's heart sank as she heard they were none other than using Cia however she unfortunately didn't have the heart to tell her nor ever did. She just couldn't hurt her older twin like that.
The same day after school, she heard the group of girls minus Zelda laughing some more. Lana wondered what was going on now as she clutched tightly onto her plush once more as she slowly made her way over. She quickly hid so she wouldn't get noticed as she saw them laughing once more. Lana closed her eyes for an moment, then quickly opened them as she recognized one of the cries to be none other than Cia's herself!
"Why doesn't she do anything but cry?!" said the first girl.
"Because she's an fat pile of trash," answered the fourth girl.
"L-leave me alone!" wailed the young Cia. Her neatly done side tail was now tangled and messed up from the other girls.
"Why should we? Maybe you should go kill yourself! After all, not like you'll amount to anything important," said the second girl.
"Yes she will!" said the third girl, which received jaw drops before she finished. "She will becoming an professional pig! In fact, she can start with this ham I stole from Boston Market!"
The girls chuckled as they placed it down.
"Get on your fours and eat it!" demanded girl one.
Cia just shook her head no, whimpering.
"She said to eat it fatty! So, eat it!" yelled girl number two.
The young girl sobbed, just wanting this torture to end as she was weak willed enough to give into their demands. Lana for some reason, had enough of these girls. She noticed an long, metal rod from the construction site in eye view. The young lavender haired girl approached the rod, grabbing it before placing her plush toy inside her backpack. Soon after, she began approached the group of girls, holding onto the metal rod.
The girls kept cackling over Cia's pain until the third girl noticed her younger sister.
"Hey look, it's the hambeast's younger sister! Did she come to join her as well?" she mocked, receiving snickers from her friends.
"Of course! Why else would she be here!" said the first girl.
They laughed as the fourth girl noticed Lana's expression was entirely blank. The young girl just slowly approached them with the metal rod as the second girl noticed the rod in her hands.
"Hey, what are you doing with that rod?! You know you pigs shouldn't pick up dirty things... wait, I rest my case," she simply stated.
"... As my Mama would say, I'm here to cleanse the world of sin and that means you fucking bitches," Lana grimly replied. The girls of course, took her lightly and gasped because she said swear words. However, before they could mock her one more, Lana rose the metal rod and began beating the lights out of them as their screams echoed throughout the area. Cia's eyes widened as she noticed her sister practically beating those bullies to death, drenched in blood even.
"Lana... stop!" Cia begged. However, her words didn't go through. Instead, Lana continued whacking them until she felt that her job was done. Soon, her demeanor changed back to the sister she knew yet Cia shook in fear as she nodded.
Later on, the news played as Mr. Wright stated that four girls were brutally beaten, with one of the girls actually passing away. He mentioned that the police are doing an investigation on the possible death and are looking for the suspect. They decided to investigate with their peers at school, hoping they saw something. Lana remembered overhearing the conversation her parents had with the police officers.
"Are you sure your children saw nothing?" questioned Dry Bowser, her mother's former science teacher and now currently working as an cop.
"I'm sure of it," Kynthia replied. "I don't think my little girls are capable of such things, let alone seeing them."
"According to sources here, your children are often bullied," questioned the boney man.
"That is true however, none of them would ever resort to murder. They're both nine for crying out loud!" Grima retorted.
Dry Bowser sighed. He knew that was true however age didn't matter. Anyone could show or display signs of murderous tendencies at any age. He then looked at the married couple as he wrote down information.
"Maybe you can ask one of your daughters if they saw an possible suspect," he requested. It turned out this case was more difficult than he thought it would be. At this point, it might become an cold case even if it was left to be open for future observation.
Kynthia nodded as she called Lana out. For some reason, Cia didn't want to talk after she got home. Instead, she appeared to be in her own world almost as if she saw something frightening.
Lana walked out of her room and looked at the police officer.
Dry Bowser glanced down at the child, kneeling down.
"What's your name sweetheart?" he asked gently. The dry man hated using an high pitched voice however knew it was the only way to get children to talk or even confess things.
"L-Lana," she shyly answered.
"Lana, where you there when these girls were being beaten to death?" he asked, interrogating her more.
Lana simply nodded in response.
"Did you happen to see who was doing it?" he asked.
She nodded once again.
"Who was hurting these poor girls?"
"Well, it was an tall, big, mean looking man!" she said. "He had an rough looking beard, he was burly and had messy black hair and looked like an sailor!"
"I see. Thank you for helping us Miss Lana!"
Weeks later, it turned out the murderer was none other than an man named Brutus who kept saying he had nothing to do with any of those children, let alone knew them. He was too busy seeking Olive's love during that time, however no one believed him. So, he got the electric chair as he was murdered.
"Thank goodness the case is finally over with," said Grima. He figured it was too absurd to even assume an child had the capacity of doing such monstrosity as murder however, heard an scream as Kynthia found something. He rushed over into the laundry room just to see she was holding an uniform drenched in dry blood. Glancing at the size of the uniform, it belonged to none other than Lana as the two realized that the man who just fried was innocent! From there, they decided to keep it to themselves and say she was possessed by an demon to mask the truth away from the public eye.
-"Vector to the Heavens (Xion Final Battle) " from Kingdom Hearts 1.5 ReMIX begins playing-
Lana's eyes widened as an endless stream of tears poured out of them. She couldn't believe it, everything she hid, suppressed for so long was quickly escalating once more. Sooner or later, she'll have to face the facts that she wasn't the perfect child her mother wished for her to be.
"I remember now..." Robin muttered. "I went to fat camp with both of you guys... why did I forget this?"
"All of these memories... why are they suddenly coming back to me?" Cia exclaimed.
"Because of me..." Lana replied. "I was the one who sealed them up away... I didn't want no one knowing of my imperfections, my failures, nothing. So in order to keep my memories intact, I conjured up an spell thus, crafting the pink bracelet you just tarnished up. However, it cost me my mindset thus being stuck in an childlike state for the longest time while the true me succumbed within the seas of sorrow and regret."
Everyone kept quiet, Wolf even frowning an bit to learn about this. It was quite depressing to feel the need to even seal memories up because you felt like you didn't live up to your parents' standards. Just seeing his past mother cry alone was enough to make Warrior Link cry as well. There is nothing worse than seeing your own parental figure or guardian you really look up to cry. Just listening to this song while typing this is making me honestly tear up.
"What about Anal... how did she even come to exist?" questioned Dark Pit. "Wasn't she an demon growing inside you like your mother said?"
"No," Lana replied. "That's all an lie... It was to cover up the fact that I've murdered someone... let alone beaten those girls to death. Did they deserve it? Yes however hurting them wasn't the correct way to go about it. My parents were ashamed to learn that their child murdered someone, their perfect little angel. After the truth, they never looked at me the same way again so they started to tiptoe every little step, thinking I was an ticking time bomb."
"Ouch..." muttered Lucas.
"You know what?! I am pissed that you pushed me off to the side like that Cia, I am pissed at Shia for never having time for me anymore, I'm pissed at Mom and Dad for ignoring everything that went on and hid everything under the radar. I hate myself for being such an fat, pathetic crybaby... So, I might think these negative thoughts but honestly, who the hell cares! These negative emotions are what makes me human! So, it's about time I finally put an end to this fucking bitch once and for all!"
All the sudden, an bright glow began to surround Lana it temporarily floated in the sky.
"Oh fucking hell..." muttered Anal.
"I think she's finally accepted herself for who she is," Pit exclaimed.
After an few minutes, the light returned as it revealed an slim, creature like humanoid wearing an mixture of Lana's standard outfit and the Guardian of Time costume combined.
"Is that... what I think it is?!" exclaimed Robin.
"It's a... Persona!" Luigi finished.
Soon after, Lana crafted up an guitar as she handed it over to her bosom sister.
"It's time to exterminate this shadow once and for all!" Lana said.
"Right."
-"Vector to the Heavens (Xion Final Battle)" fades away as it it replaced with an instrumental version of "Flyin' to Your Heart(English Version)" from Gitaroo Man Lives!-
LANA(SOLO)
Cia is in the background, playing the guitar the entire time as it is also an weapon used to fight the evil shadow.
You have to stop this feeling deeply steady
And I really think I need some time to think of you
The sun is setting and all day; I'm looking for the sunny day
When nice to see the truth in you
"What the hell is she even singing about?!" Anal complained. She formed up three rectangular walls and pushed them towards Lana, however the power of the guitar's electric waves cut through them!
"WHAT?!"
Anal couldn't believe it. How did an mere electric wave destroy her magic?! Before she could open up her book, it threw her by surprise, causing her body to hit against an wall.
Darkness in the sky - and my love is spinning
Close my eyes - the feeling's getting closer closer
Flyin' to your heart - Like a wind into the sea
Me getting next to you... in light I'll never do
"I'm not going to lie, this song's pretty catchy," Robin said.
"Beep," Mr. Game and Watch replied, agreeing with the tactician.
Pit seemed to shaking his head, getting into the tune as he told Cia to keep rocking the guitar. Anal of course didn't like this encouragement so she aimed an electric orb at Pit, only for the guitar to form an protective barrier around the angel.
Deeply hurt my feelings, but I cannot help emotions
And the pain inside my dreams
The messenger of sentimental memory
So simply irresistible - I am goin' your soul
Shadow was kind of relieved the song was playing. It was making people look less away from the sex tape and more towards watching Anal finally get what she deserved, an ass whooping. Plus, it was fun seeing the electrical waves the magic guitar produced going on all different directions.
Nowhere, no place - and the time is passing
Endless time - the moment of a coming closer
Dreamin' my heart - and when quickly said and done
Cast the time away... and run away
Toadette noticed an bright light from afar as she tugged on Palutena's dress.
"What do you think's going on up there?!" she asked.
"Whatever it is, it appears that some justice is being done," the green haired goddess replied. "Justice served alongside an catchy tune!"
Sonic happened to be ignoring the song for the favor of laughing at Shadow engaging in sexual intercourse with Shrek. However, the screen in the sky was suddenly temporarily taken over as it revealed Lana singing as her Persona while Cia played the guitar.
"Holy shit..." said Zelda.
"Is everything... OKAY?" asked Ness, almost about to start up his okay fest again.
"She's actually alive?! But I thought she died..." said the princess.
"Thank goodness," said Link. They watched the screen as they noticed the Hot Topic Krew alongside with Pit, Warrior Link and CIA and Bane.
"Wait... there's another Link?!" stated Paula. "Now I'm just getting confused.
"According to Palutena, he's part of the Resistance. He's one of the future children," Tiny Kong answered.
"Hey," Sonic said, interrupting. "Let's relax and enjoy the show, alright?"
Inside of you
Dying from a sky is blue
I want to change for true
Hold me close and tight all the time
Told me twist of view
Keeping edge is feels all of you
The voice of passion lies
My voice is singing high
The voice of your emotion on high
The high as meeting you again
Both Lana and Cia rose up in the sky as they combined both of their powers.
"Now, it's time to fucking end this once and for all!" Lana shouted.
The guitar then released an beam as it went side by side with the persona's magic, eventually striking Anal as she screamed. Soon, Lana lunged in for the final blow, putting Anal back where she belongs permanently! Shortly after, she returned back to her regular human form as Bane picked up Anal's remains and for some reason, decided to mail Icarus an little gift. Shortly after, he and CIA both took off to god knows where.
-"Treasured Memories" from Kingdom Hearts 1.5 ReMIX begins playing-
Everyone was finally able to fully regain their energy once more as they got up and rushed over to the sorceress' twins, cheering.
"Holy shit, I'm so glad to have you back Cia!" Lucina beamed.
"You did pretty good out there kid. In fact, you guys should perform together more, I like it," said Pit.
Before Cia could reply, she felt an tight grasp around her as it turned out Lana was hugging her. The light-blue haired girl began crying once more.
"Sister... whatever you do, please don't leave me again..." she sobbed. "I missed you so much!"
Instead of usually getting annoyed and making snide remarks, Cia instead actually smiled and returned the hug.
"I missed you so much as well," she replied.
"Aww, isn't this adorable!" Pit exclaimed. "Brother, we should have more family moments like this!"
"Tch," Dark Pit simply replied yet didn't want to admit that he actually agreed with Pit. Instead he changed the subject.
"Hey Cia, do me an favor and don't wear the mask. It makes you look like an reject of The Knife," he told her.
"Fuck you Pittoo!" she said, actually missing his useless criticisms as well.
"Um guys, I hate to interrupt an lovely reunion but what's Cia's job title going to be even? I mean, we already have Robin replacing her as the tactician!" stated Viridi.
"Well, that's easy, I could be-!"
"Cia, the Titty Witch," Dark Pit flatly replied.
"Dang it Pittoo!" yelled Pit. "She was supposed to choose her own job title!"
"I'm the leader, I get to do what I want!" Pittoo retorted back.
Everyone laughed as the angel twins got into an stupid argument. It truly is good to have our sweet princess back.
"So," Cia asked, "who's the cute Link right here?"
"That's your nephew," Robin simply stated, hinting jealousy as Cia's jaw dropped.
"What?! Lana got to produce an Link?! No fair!"
-"Bowser's Road" from Super Mario 64 begins playing-
Back at the place Morshu and his allies resided, word had gotten thanks to Fat Pikachu observing Cia's and Callie's tumblr, more so the Inkling's as it appeared that Anal has gone down for good. Nobody knew what happened of Bane or why he even escaped with one of his former lovers, Bill Wilson. Unfortunately for Mewtwo, the CIA and the FBI somehow got involved and took down his terrorist website as it as was labeled as one of those hate sites.
"FUCKING SATAN JUDAS!" the asshole Pokemon yelled. He couldn't believe it. His hard word and dedication he put in an website that humiliated Cia now went all down the drain.
"It's all that fucking fat bitch's fault this happened!"
Morshu perked up as he just got finished with an important phone call. Fat Pikachu and Gay Piplup were making some smores over the campfire.
"What's going on Mewtwo?" he asked.
"Those assholes took down MY WEBSITE! I honestly say it's time to end those fucking Lancias' once and for fucking all! I'm sick of those pieces of shits always winning when people like ME have to work hard!" he yelled.
Gay Piplup wanted to reply back with an smart ass comment however decided against it. Thankfully Morshu was more levelheaded unlike the stupid edgehead in front of him.
"Mewtwo, calm down!" Morshu simply informed him. "You still got the diary right? It's not like you can move onto another host, one that isn't monitored by the government and post the content there. Hell, you can even convince Oprah, Pac-Man or even another talkshow host to let you explain your side of the story about that dreaded family."
"That is true," said the asshole Pokemon. "After all, those Lancias' took away my pride, my dignity, fuck they even took my penis away!"
"See, you already got yourself an case. Hell we all do!" said Morshu. "But soon, I will have my battle with Cia and only one of us will walk out alive and that will me MMMM- ME!"
- "Imperial Armada" from Skies of Arcadia begins playing-
Icarus glanced over at the window in his office, observing the time rifts. He noticed more of them slowly opening their way through as he grinned. Soon, he will be able to obtain the next essence which belonged to none other than Viridi. Rumor has been going out lately that the League of Super Evil has been acting up and even split into two sides.
"Hmph, I knew that pathetic ogre was nothing but weak," he muttered to himself. The original dark angel clone knew Shrek was never to be fully trusted in the first place. Hell, he even had some of his men scavenging the Temple of Souls just to come across the beautiful ogre's ransom note. He held the small piece of paper, reading it aloud to his open "audience."
You are all in danger here.
Keep an eye out.
A threat lingers.
You're not safe here.
We know where you live.
Grima was tossed into the stream.
"Hmph, so this explains the reason why those wretched brats fled to Melee City in the first place. Who know Shrek's "ransom" note would be an forewarning, thus allowing that damned fell dragon to possibly survive!"
With those last few words, he slammed his fists on the table. One thing he detested the most was when things didn't go his way. Before he could continue on, an knock was heard on the door as he gave them permission to come inside. An mail carrier Waddle Dee appeared to be holding an letter as she approached the dark angel.
"Letter for Mr. Leventis," she said.
Icarus grabbed the letter out of her hands as he let the Waddle Dee leave and carry on her merry way to perform her job. He glanced at the envelope as it was from none other than Bane himself. He couldn't help but wonder why the big man himself out of all people mailed him something. Shortly after, he opened it just for his eyes to widen. In his hand, the man held the only thing that was left of the once living Anal.
"They... They... They've actually destroyed Anal! I can't believe it... those idiots downed one of my cronies."
Icarus slammed his fists against the table once more in frustration. He couldn't believe that the Hot Topic Krew and their allies managed to take down an LoSE member single handed! To make matters worse, the alarm started going off as an scientist rushed into his room.
"Sir! It's an emergency! Project S.A.R.A... she's... she's failing!"
"WHAT?!"
Icarus rushed over into the laboratory, just to see his beloved project failing. It turns out, the body somehow didn't survive. The dark angel clenched his fists, trying his best to suppress his own screams. It appeared everything was failing apart on him. Little did he know, one of his prestigious scientists walked into the room.
"What's all this commotion I'm hearing about," exclaimed Erwin. He walked inside, just to take an glance at the tank as Project S.A.R.A. was being disposed. He made his way towards the agitated Icarus who tried his best to keep his mentality calm and his posture in an relaxed state.
"My precious Sara... she's gone," Icarus muttered.
Erwin nodded as there was an moment of silence between the two before the grey scientist spoke one more. He glanced over and noticed the remains of Lana's shadow before getting an perfect idea. After more, the more loyalty he showed towards his boss, the higher chance he had at obtaining his desired promotion!
-"Imperial Armada" fades away as "Military Facility Dungeon" from Skies of Arcadia begins playing-
"It appears that using an pre-made body is what caused it to fail Master," he simply stated. "Here, let me see those remains for an second."
Icarus rose an brow, wondering where the evil scientist was even going with this. Erwin moved towards the cleaned up tank, pouring in his special liquid mix he used to create his clones of the various teams before placing Anal's remains inside. Shortly after, he glanced towards Icarus.
"The essences please," he requested.
Icarus nodded in response as he handed both the Essence of the Galaxy and the Essence of Time over to the scientist as he allowed the man to continue. Next, Erwin managed to get an couple of drops from them as it began combining with the remains of the shadow. Next, he asked for an DNA piece of its master as Icarus handed him an hair sample as he tossed it in before closing the tank.
"Now feast your eyes on this."
The dark angel observed the tank as the items placed inside began forming an completely new life. It took the shape of an small child as it was difficult to determine its hair color due to the fact that the tank's liquids dominated its colors. The hair was parted exactly like how Anal's was and being long to boot. In addition, for some reason, wings started to develop however, the one on the right looked more full fledged than the one on the left, almost as if it were going to be some form of handicap for the poor creation.
"You see, if you allow an body to form artificially, you have less chances of your project failing. In addition, this project now has two of the four needed essences inside of her," Erwin explained. "It will allow for her to survive on her own and even if released early, that doesn't mean the other two can be applied to finalize her. I present to you... Lain."
Icarus stared at the newly created project known as Lain. He seemed to be rather pleased with Erwin's work once more as he thanked the scientists for saving his hide. In fact, there were now being talks of an possible promotion happening as Erwin grinned wide. He was finally getting recognized for his hard work.
Meanwhile, Orson was still locked inside the capsule. He knew there was an way to get out and escape to warn the others about the clones however, every time he reached for the key, somehow Erwin always returned back to the lab almost as if he knew the ghost was planning on escaping.
"There must be some way to distract Erwin and get out of here!"
- "Like A Dream Come True" from Persona 4 begins playing-
The gang was now in the little area Cia resided in for the longest time as she gathered up the last of her things. Robin held onto both baby Marc and Morgan while Lana held baby Ravio.
"So, how did you survive anyways? I thought you were completely an goner," said Lucina. She recalled the event from the battle against the former Cute Toot House as Cia sacrificed herself so the Ylissean and Princess and Morgan could escape.
"Well," Cia answered, thinking, "it wasn't easy. Believe it or not, as they continued to do some major damage to me, I managed to somehow shift myself into the more dangerous escape route as the hole opened up more. The place began crumbling so the other girls took off before it completely demolished. My bracelet of course, before it was rightfully returned to me today slipped off. So, I landed on the ground, beaten to death. My vision began fading away and the only thing I was able to distinguish were two voices. One of them belonged to Mom's old personal trainer while the other one sounded like my grandfather's. According to them, I practically almost died along with the children you see today, so Grandpa used his holy god-like powers to give me life again. Afterwards, he told me it was for the best I didn't return and to lay low for awhile just in case they came back to finish the job."
"I see..."
"Wait, may we ask you something?" said Lucas.
The woman simply nodded.
"Who is your grandfather anyways. We've met your grandmother yet we haven't even had the chance to meet your grandfather yet," added Dark Pit.
"Well, believe it or not, my grandfather is the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken. We own every KFC chain restaurant around the world yet you can only get its purest form either from him, my mother or even my sisters and I," Cia replied.
"Holy shit you know the recipe to the chicken?!" exclaimed Pit as his mouth started watering. Of course, Dark Pit slapped his brother and told him to quit that.
Cia nodded in response.
"Wait... I thought you didn't know how to cook at all," said Shadow. He was slightly miffed about her possible lie yet was glad everyone didn't even dare to bring up the sex tape.
"I lied," the dark sorceress simply replied. "I didn't want to cook meals for you guys at the time, so I just simply said I didn't know how to cook."
"We both know how to cook meals, even gourmet desserts even!" Lana exclaimed.
Both Lucas and Dark Pit found it odd to hear Lana speak at an higher level yet remembered that suppressing her bad thoughts and allowing the shadow to grow caused her mentality to be stuck at an young age for an long while. So, it was quite refreshing to be able to have her fully regain her memories and thus, learn how to accept herself.
When they finally arrived back at the Lancia summer house, Cia was greeted with the combined force of the tactical twins tackling her. This caused her to fall back from the sudden force.
"Mother!" both of them beamed.
"G-guys! I think you're making your younger counterparts jealous!"
Marc and Morgan quickly gave their mother some leeway as Robin held onto the stroller, revealing the sleeping babies. Marc found it quite eerie to come face to face with his baby self while Morgan thought it was cute. Ravio waved at Cia before approaching her.
"Hey Mom," he greeted.
"Say where's your guys' grandmother?" she asked.
"In the garden," the black haired teen replied.
"Thanks."
From there, Cia ushered for Robin to follow as Lana tagged along as well. Ever since her sister returned, she wouldn't dare to leave her side.
Kynthia appeared to be reading an book while taking an sip of some homemade iced tea. Soon, she felt an soft tap on her shoulder as she perked up and noticed Cia, Robin, Lana and the babies.
"Cia?!"
"Mom, I'm back!"
The two embraced in an warm hug as Kynthia began wailing an storm. She went on about how much she missed her precious little angel while it ended up making her daughter cry as well. They both missed one another a lot before catching their breath.
Kynthia looked at the newborns, smiling.
"Awww, they're so cute! I can't believe I'm an grandmother to such adorable children, even if they were done without S-Support!" Kynthia stated, her tone growing more bitter towards the end. She was still miffed about that however could care less.
"So Mom," Cia asked, "Is there something you want to tell me and Lana both?"
-"Emotions Gather" from The Legend of Mana begins playing-
"Well, yes..."
Kynthia paused for an moment before frowning.
"I'm sorry I never told any of you girls earlier that I was actually the Goddess of Time. I just didn't know how to inform both of you because you were so little at the time, I truly didn't know how you'd react if you learn that your mother will always an target of potential danger," she explained. "Plus, when you guys got older, I kind of wanted you guys to match one another... I even had the outfits too..."
"Mom..."
Both Lana and Cia smiled before hugging their mother once more. They then noticed what appeared to be an shooting star in the sky as they decided to make an wish. Little did anyone knew, that shooting star was something special.
"So, what happened when I was gone?" Cia asked.
"Well, good and bad things, mostly bad. The house got sabotaged, your father's in an coma, we did own the Girl Scout Cookie Factory before some jackass blew it up... It was nothing but horrible tragedies!" complained Mama Cia.
"Oh no..."
Cia frowned a bit at the bad news.
"The Lancia Family Reunion is in a few days. And it's being hosted here so I'm going to need lots of help, in fact, I need both of you girls," Kynthia exclaimed. She started going on and on about things as both the twins just nodded. They decided it was better to let their mother ramble on than interrupt her.
-"Starlight Highway" from Snowboard Kids 2 plays once more-
Back at Icarus' office, the dark angel decided it was time to look for more assistants. Even though he had ones such as Camilla, Elizabeth, Ursula and even Miss Bellum, it wasn't enough. So of course, there was an secret job ad listed for another assistant as anyone could apply however he preferred giving the job to females rather than men.
He went through countless of interviews as he was now at his final one. An Koopa Troopa managed to open the door as the figure stepped inside and shook hands with the man himself before taking an seat. It appeared to be none other than an young woman who appeared to look around either her late teens or early twenties. She had long, blonde hair which went up to her thighs almost.
"Who are you ma'am?" he asked.
"I'm Zelda Nohansen," she simply replied. Zelda kept her gaze on him at all times as the man paced around back in forth before stopping to face her.
"So Zelda, tell me why you think you should have this position as one of my assistants?" he asked once more.
"Well, I'm hard working and have an successful track record of keeping work as organized as possible and in addition to this, I also am good at developing teams and motivating and training these teams to obtain efficient goals."
"Interesting. Now, strengths and weaknesses?"
"I have been told that I'm honest, reliable and ethical. I have an good sense of urgency, am an fast learner and my communication skills are excellent. I am flexible to handle changing environments and are able to cope with setbacks and learn from my mistakes. As for my weaknesses, I have been occasionally told I take longer than my other colleagues to complete complicated tasks however, this is only because I want to make sure the work I do is to the highest standards. Other than that, I've been told that I get a bit too friendly at times," she answered.
Icarus nodded as he paused for an moment. Soon, he decided that the young girl was perfectly fit for the job. Soon, he shook hands with her as he decided to give one of his assist, Zelda, the tour of the place.
Before he could proceed on, an elegant, white haired woman with natural rainbows in them dressed in white stopped him in his tracks. Alongside her was an black girl with lavender hair who wore an suit and shades.
-"Starlight Highway" fades off as "Blumekranz" from Kill la Kill begins playing-
"Ah, well, if it isn't Raygo Kiryuin," said Icarus. "It appears you've came just in time. I was just showing my new assistant around."
Raygo glanced over at Zelda before looking back to Icarus.
"Another assistant so soon Icarus? I didn't expect you to be quite that kind of person!" Raygo stated.
"Well, it appears that some of the more useless Big Bads chickened out so why not replace them with those deemed more worthy. Ah, where are my manners, Raygo, meet Zelda. Perhaps you can assign the girl her new uniform as well?"
"Precisely."
Raygo soon ushered for Zelda to follow her as she will now don the same uniform Camilla and the others have.
Chaptar End.
Cia is officially back as the Titty Witch!
Tune in next time for the Family Reunion(decided to hold off that Mini Special), which is literally the Lancia Family Reunion chapter.
We get to see all the Lancias and of course, special guest star Chrom for his Chromantha and the amusement park!
At least they were able to finally get rid of Anal once and for all!
Until next time!