Chapter Thirty Five: Schadenfreude
Hermione disapparated form the manor rather hastily, after Lucius had informed her of her other half's early departure. It was not like Severus to simply abandon her, especially when it meant leaving her alone in the company of half a dozen former Death Eaters, and so his exodus from their get together raised many unanswered questions in her mind.
After saying several swift goodbyes to the Malfoy family and disapparating, she made the familiar journey up from Hogsmede with her wand outstretched and her arm aloft; it would not do to be caught off guard at such a late hour. When she finally arrived home, thankful to be out of the cold and impenetrable darkness, it became apparent that Severus had already tucked himself up in bed. A distinctive musk of alcohol flowed fiercely and without reserve through their quarters, and shards of glass lay scattered across the living room floor.
After 'scourify-ing' the mess and popping in to check on her daughter, Hermione made her way into the bedroom where Severus was feigning sleep. She quickly undressed down to her underwear, desperate to cuddle into his sleeping form and muse over the nights events.
As she slipped into bed beside Severus, she leaned over his bare chest and traced the outlines of his jaw and nose softly with her fingertips. She kissed him tenderly on his passive lips before whispering, "I love you Severus," and settling back down beside him.
As she lay back down, she left one arm draped over his chest and spooned his side, revelling in the feel of his bare skin upon her own; there was something rather magnificent about moments such as these. Severus however, who would have otherwise enjoyed and capitalised on her touch, simply lay in the darkness, anger and resentment mounting within his body. His over indulgence in whiskey prior to her return home, made it almost impossible for him to react in the way he would like; he hadn't the energy for an argument.
Remembrance of the nights entailments flashed before his eyes as he recalled the tears that had welled up in his eyes as Draco's lips neared Hermione's and more so, as she allowed them to touch. He had disapparated as their brief kiss deepened; too frightened to watch where the kiss would lead and to incredulous to intervene. For whatever reason that was lost to him, Severus Snape had not reacted, he had not hexed Draco; he hadn't even confronted the younger man. It seemed that love stood in his way.
As the minutes passed by, both Hermione and Severus lay in silence by each others side; Hermione thinking that he was asleep and Severus doing his best not to react as she ran her soft hands through the thin blanket of black hair that graced his chest.
Impatient with her inability to sleep at the present time and aroused by the smell and touch of Severus' skin on her own, Hermione began kissing his bare stomach and down his legs, deliberately missing that sensitive area in between. Encouraged by her own boredom she continued to kiss along his exposed skin, listening intently as the breathing above the covers began to hasten.
Momentarily, Severus obliged to her ministrations before reality hit and the thought of her and Draco reiterated in his consciousness. Forcefully he pulled away from Hermione, throwing his back onto the headboard so that she would stop her kisses.
Astounded, Hermione brought her head back up to her pillow and looked up at Severus who was rubbing his temples in distress and clenching his hands into tight fists.
"Severus, what on earth is the mater with you!" she stated, less forcefully than she expected.
"Tell me Hermione, what you would do in my position?" he asked, regaining little bit of control over his wild emotions.
"And what position is that?" she asked, presuming he had inappropriately stopped their foreplay to ask for Professional advice.
"Imagine…that you saw the woman you love in the arms of another man, and more incredulously saw that she accepted his kiss as if it were your own."
"Severus I…"
"Would you wait around to find out if it was just a kiss, if it is sex, or if worst of all its sex and love? Would you stay knowing life would always be a little bit harder? Or would you cut and run?"
"Severus…I…It was a momentary lack of judgement…I…I'm such a fool…"
"Yes, you are" began Severus, his voice breaking as the tears welled up in his eyes, "but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I live foolish too."
Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling a soft tear fall on her shoulders just before he pushed her off him. Black eyes met brown as their bodies parted and he promptly turned his back on her.
"Goodnight," he stated, meaning it as more of a closing statement rather than a loving well wish.
When Hermione woke the next morning she was alone in her bed, the soft outline of where Severus had laid, the only sign of his existence. She groaned inwardly as a solitary beam of sunlight split through the partially parted curtains, and she remembered Severus' speech the night before. To be blunt, it had broken her heart.
Downtrodden, and not in the mood to either face her classes or Severus, Hermione reluctantly dressed before collecting her first year essays and heading down to breakfast.
When she arrived in the Great Hall, all in terms of meal time behaviour was resumed, and Severus sat with his customary scowl dampening his face as he poked at a plate of toast and eggs. As she took her place beside him he didn't even look up from his plate to acknowledge her arrival.
"Severus…" she whispered and placed a hand on his lap underneath the table.
"I have no time for your inane excuses or conversation Professor," he snarled as coldly as he would when addressing a student, "so I suggest you either keep your mouth closed or leave this instant."
"How can you sit their and be so pitiless when all I am trying to do is explain?" She was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her voice down to the bare minimum and guarded from student ears'.
"Explain what Miss Granger? I saw what I saw and you did what you did. My eyes did not deceive me but it seems that you did."
"As soon as I realised what was happening I pulled away from him Severus, did you not here me do so?" She looked pleadingly into his eyes but they remained sparse of all emotions other than hurt and detest.
"One would have assumed that you and Mr Malfoy had grown out of such ostentatious displaces of adolescent affection. Presumption in this case, proves to be an unreliable evaluation of the matter at hand."
Severus looked through Hermione and over to Albus who was locked in conversation with Minerva.
"If you'll excuse me Headmaster, I have lessons to prepare but I would appreciate it if you could spare some time for me later on. I have much to discuss with you."
"Of course Severus my boy," smiled the older wizard as he stroked his grey beard. "I will come around before dinner if that suits you."
The Potions Master stood swiftly and without replying, before striding out of the hall, taking various points from every house but his own, as he passed the four house tables. Hermione was left on her own, disgruntled and heartbroken; she was desperate to explain but he refused to listen.
"It seems Severus has his customary bee in his bonnet again," began Minerva as she moved to sit beside Hermione.
"I'm afraid this is all my doing this time Minerva," sighed Hermione in reply.
"You know Hermione, relationships sometimes venture off track but it does no harm to let them pause and stop for gas every often. All relationships, whether serious, passionate, lustful or even platonic need time to breathe. Whatever has happened Hermione, I can see its time to take one of the said breaks. Let him muse over what
has happened, let him decide on a course of action of his own accord and let him conclude a conclusion on his own."
"But how can he conclude anything when he fails to listen to the full story?" she replied rhetorically.
"That is for you to decide. Occurrences taken out of context can lead to disastrous results and to avoid such catastrophes one must ensure than the context is restored and the event understood fully."
"And that is all I am trying to do; explain myself. But Severus, he just builds walls around himself and wallows in his own pity. He is stewing in unnecessary anger."
"Yes Hermione he undoubtedly is, but it is up to you to inform him of the facts and then to let him stew in something much more truthful. After that my dear all you can do is wait."
"Turn to page two hundred and ninety three!" Hermione began before shortly adding, "now!"
The first year Gryffindor and Slytherin class sat in silence, sensing the foul mood of their Transfiguration Professor and not wanting bait her anger any further.
"Today, I haven't the patience or energy to put up with your foolish questions or inane conversations, thus I expect complete silence for the remainder of the lesson. Anybody who fails to comply with these simple rules will be forced to endure a weeks worth of detention with the joyful being whom is Professor Snape," she finished sarcastically.
A handful of students chortled at their Professors dig at her colleague; others inwardly noted this and granted her a little more respect than they otherwise would have. The Slytherins however scowled, the jibe at their head of house was not welcomed.
"Something to say Mr Dixon?" sniped Hermione as she noticed the frown on the young Slytherin's face.
"No Professor," he muttered.
"I would accept your diminutive answer if it weren't for your contradicting tone of voice. One presumes, after taking into account that you are a Slytherin, you have something more that you'd like to say on the matter."
The boy didn't reply.
"No, please Mr Dixon, be my guest. Say what you wish to say for it will do no good at all to keep it all locked in your head. Do not stand on ceremony."
The boy looked at his friends who nodded for him to begin. Hermione inwardly smiled at the boy's necessity to consult his peers before acting.
"Well Professor, I just don't think it's fair that you take jibes at our head of house, whilst he is not even in the room to retort."
"I shall pass it on to Professor Snape, how much you care, Mr Dixon. Ten points to Slytherin for being so well…concerned."
"Now, for those of you who actually want to learn and not gallantly defend their seemingly flawless head of house," she said sarcastically as she smiled at Mr Dixon and his friends, "turn to page two hundred and ninety three!"
Did he react how you'dl like? Ooh let me know soon, I'm excited to hear from you!