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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Huge hugs to Snarkymuch and Gredelina1 for sharing their awesome beta skills and to Arrr, Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen and Augustmoon99 for pre-reading.

This chapter is dedicated to iluvtwilight2, rocket-runner, Rachaelc1994, bluefire-33, karinbujar, Fangscape, w8ing4rain, WhitlocksHevyn and NoOneWillSurrenderTonight. The song for the last chapter was Time Is Running Out by Muse

Chapter Thirty Five - I'm So Tired

Jasper POV

Cold horror surged through me, potent as an electric shock.

"No! You don't mean that! You can't mean that!"

She didn't respond, and I had to fight the urge to shake her.

"Bella, please."

'Tired now.' The letters came slowly now, sluggishly. 'You promised.'

Dammit all, I had. We had all promised her we'd let her go when it was time, but it wasn't time yet. It couldn't be. I wasn't ready.

"Please, Bella, just a little more time. Let us bring Edward home; Alice can find him and you can talk."

'Not fair. Guilt.'

"It's not guilt dammit. He would want to be here if he knew. He loves you. I know he does."

No matter how many times we had tried to tell her that Edward left for her own protection, she still didn't believe us.

'Rest now.' Her emotions switched to the void calm that even after all this time made me uncomfortable.

The steady rush of the machine beside the bed hummed on and I stared at it. It was the only thing keeping her here, alive. A simple flick of a switch and she'd be gone. Not just a temporary emotional void, but a permanent void. Gone from the world.

No! I couldn't let that happen.

I heard the sound of racing footsteps as the family returned. How was I going to tell them? How could I tell them that Bella was ready to go?

"Hi, honey, we're home!" Emmett called out. He rushed up the stairs laughing, closely followed by Alice.

"Bella, you should have seen the size of the bear I got," he said excitedly. "It was as big as a minivan, I swear! Don't look at me like that, it was!"

"She's sleeping, Em," I said quietly.

"Well damn, I hadn't even got to the best part yet. Never mind I'll tell her later."

Later? If Bella had her way there may not be a later.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" Alice asked, catching sight of my tortured expression.

"Downstairs." I kissed Bella on the forehead, and led them to the lounge.

Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the loveseat reading together, as we entered the room they looked up.

"How was your afternoon?" Esme asked. "Is Bella okay?"

"Where's Rose?" I asked, ignoring her questions altogether. She'd hear all about my afternoon soon enough.

"She's just taking a shower," Carlisle said. "Is Bella okay? Do I need to check on her?"

"She's resting now, but physically she's the same."

"What's going on?" Rosalie came into the lounge; her hair still damp.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the onslaught of emotion. "Bella has said it's time."

Such simple words, but the effect of them was intense.

"No!"

"She can't mean it."

"What do we do?"

"Are you sure that's what she meant?"

The words assaulted me, but the emotions were far worse. It was like being hit by a wrecking ball of pain, shock and fear.

"She told me she was ready. She reminded me that we promised. I said we'd find Edward, but she's still stuck on what he said to her. She doesn't believe that he cares."

Emmett cursed harshly. "I could kill him! I could rip him limb from limb and–"

"That's enough, Emmett," Carlisle said.

Emmett turned to him, incredulous. "You can't possibly be defending him now!"

"I am not defending anyone, but now is not the time for anger. We need to decide what we are going to do."

"What can we do?" Rosalie asked. "We promised."

"You want her to die!" Alice said horrified.

"Of course I don't; I love Bella, but we all promised."

"We need Edward back," Esme said with certainty. "If he was here–"

"If he was here we'd probably be in the same situation," Carlisle said sadly. "Bella has decided. It is more than just Edward leaving, she has been through so much, too much. If Edward came back the best we could hope for would be for him to have a chance to see her. They couldn't even communicate without Jasper's help"

"But maybe if he was here…" Esme trailed off, there was nothing that could be said.

We all knew this day would come, and yet somehow none of us really accepted it. We had thought we were immune to the realities, that somehow Bella could be persuaded to change her mind. That there would be some eleventh hour intervention, and we would all get our happily ever after. We were wrong.

"Alice?" Rosalie's worried tone pulled me from my thoughts. Alice was having a vision.

She came back to the present with a gasp, and just like the day she had the vision of Bella in the hospital she was only able to say one word.

"Edward."

Just like that day, it was Emmett that reacted first. "What about him?" He seized her arm roughly; this time I didn't protest.

"He's coming to Forks, he's coming back to Bella."

"How does he know?" Emmett asked.

"He doesn't. I told you he was fighting the pull to come back to her, well he just lost the fight. He's on his way to SeaTac now."

"We need to meet him," Esme said worriedly. "If he gets into town and hears about Bella and Charlie before we tell him…"

"Yeah, last thing we need now is an Edward tantrum in Main Street," Emmett snorted.

"Okay, Alice, Emmett, you go to the airport and meet him. Make him hunt. Emmett, you may need to restrain him, the scent of the blood will be difficult for him to handle," Carlisle said. "Jasper and I will wait for you at the end of the drive. Jasper, do you think you will be able to keep him calm while I speak to him?"

"If I can't, I will incapacitate him sufficiently that he won't pose a threat to her," I said harshly.

Esme gasped, but Carlisle nodded his understanding.

"If that is necessary, I will aid you." He turned to Esme. "Edward can heal, Bella cannot. If she is resolved in her choice I will keep my promise and aid her passing. But it will be painless and peaceful; it will not be the result of Edward losing control of his bloodlust."

I was shocked, but pleased to hear him say this.

"Do you need me here too or would I be more use helping them with Edward?" Rosalie asked, looking after Emmett and Alice who had headed out to the garage.

"You go with them," Carlisle said. "If Bella wakes we will tell her the rest of you are still hunting. It will buy us a little time at least."

She nodded her agreement. A moment later the purr of an engine could be heard moving out of the garage and along the drive.

"We need to keep Bella as calm and quiet as possible," Carlisle said. "If she wakes we will speak to her, but let's pray she doesn't."

I hoped if she could speak to Edward she could be made to understand, if not we could at least allow them the chance to say goodbye.

Edward POV

0 days 0 hours 3 minutes. Forks. Washington.

"Edward, please come back, please!"

I could hear her stumbling along the path; sobs racking her body.

I'm sorry Bella. I love you too much to stay.

I fought my own sobs as I ran from her. From my heart.

Please forgive me

xXx

14 Days, 6 hours 48 minutes. Kane County Utah

"Please come home, Edward. It's not too late; we can all go back and take care of her together," Alice begged.

I gritted my teeth. "I am taking care of her by staying away, Alice. Now have you seen anything more of Victoria?" It was the reason I had called after all.

"No, nothing. Esme is coming she's wants to speak to you too."

I snapped the phone shut. I loved Esme, but her pleas would be harder to ignore that Alice's and I didn't want to hurt her more. Better to let Alice tell her I had been cut off than to refuse her.

This was for Bella, all for Bella.

xXx

21 days 17 hours 45 minutes. Houston Texas.

I went to a street café and ordered coffee to give me time to use their internet access to check the local news reports. I was looking for details of missing persons or suspicious deaths.

My efforts to track Victoria had so far been useless, I thought I had caught her scent at the New Mexico border, but she had eluded me.

The pull to return to Bella was growing stronger by the day, a near constant ache in my chest that I knew could only be eased by her presence.

Seeing nothing of interest I shut the laptop and left the café. Thinking of my Bella and wondering what she was doing at this very moment, what we would be doing if I was still there.

No. I scolded myself. You cannot go back, you can never go back.

xXx

23 days 1 hour 39 minutes. Houston Texas.

I moved through the airport at a fast human pace. She had been here, her scent was still fresh. I traced it to the departures gate and checked the flight details. Rio de Janeiro.

"Excuse me, sir, can I see your boarding pass." A female voice called behind me.

I spun on my heel and heard the shock in her thoughts as she took in my expression and dark eyes. I immediately schooled my features into embarrassed innocence.

"I'm afraid I don't have one," I said smoothly.

"Oh, well the gate is closed for that flight anyway now. If you go to the desk in the lobby they will be able to advise you further."

Please go, she chanted in her thoughts. Get away from me. She was not convinced by my easy smile, I had scared her.

"Thank you," I said hurriedly, and walked away as she sighed in relief.

Finding the appropriate ticked desk I purchased a ticket for the next flight out.

I am coming for you, Victoria.

xXx

47 days 18 hours 55 minutes. Maracanã, Rio de Janeiro

I had lost her.

I wasn't even sure she had been in Rio in the first place, there was no sign of her scent when my flight came in. She had tricked me.

The pain in my chest was almost unbearable, the only thing stopping me running to the airport and getting a flight to Washington was the knowledge that she was safe.

She could never be safe with me in her life.

xXx

51 days, 4 hours, 7 minutes. Santa Cruz. Rio de Janeiro

I had to get inside, the sun was coming up and I had been caught unaware. A sure sign of my distraction.

Slipping through the backstreets of the slums I found an empty building and made my way inside. Now I was under cover, the urgency of the situation removed, my footsteps became heavy again.

Slowly I plodded up the stairs to an old attic apartment. It was abandoned and judging by the scent of mildew in the air it had been for quite some time.

I dropped my bag onto the floor and looked out of the cracked window pane at the Cristo Redentor statue. It told a lie, there was no redemption for me.

The pain in my chest seared me and I fell onto the bed, curling my knees to my chest. Letting the misery take me.

Bella, I lied. I love you so much.

xXx

362 days 6 hours 54 minutes.

My eyes snapped opened and I surveyed the dark room, nothing had changed, everything was exactly the same, but somehow it felt wrong.

I jumped to my feet in a smooth fluid movement, my mind told me I should be stiff from spending so long curled in that position, but for all the difference it made to my body I could have just sat down minutes ago.

My throat was burning with thirst, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I rubbed my chest absentmindedly as I picked up my bag and made my way down the stairs.

Just hunting, this is the right thing do to, the responsible thing.

I recognized the need to hunt for the protection of others even if it would do little to soothe my internal pain. I made my way through the dark streets and when I gained the freedom of the Tijuca National Park I broke into a run. The hunting here was varied and even through my distraction I felt a jolt of excitement when I caught the scent of a jaguar.

I traced the scent to a small stream leading away from a waterfall where the majestic animal was lapping at the water. My mouth pooled with venom and with one lithe movement I sprang. Snapping its neck I sank my teeth into the flesh and felt the warm, spicy blood filling me. It was exquisite, but there was not nearly enough of it. Once I had drained it I inhaled deeply, raking the trees with my eyes, looking for another. There was no more jaguar, but there were deer and wolves, I took them down one after the other.

Finally sated, I buried the carcasses of my kill and examined my clothes. They were filthy and torn, long past saving. I stripped them off and jumped into the pool at the base of the waterfall. Scrubbing the blood and months of accumulated dirt from my skin I considered what to do next. I could go back to the attic, curl up and let life carry on without me, but it felt wrong. Something was tugging at my mind as if I had forgotten a vital appointment.

I climbed out of the water and used my tattered clothes to dry myself, I had a reasonably clean pair of jeans and shirt at the bottom of my rucksack and I pulled them on, noting the blank face of my cell phone. The battery had died months ago and I hadn't even thought of charging it. I'd stopped answering the family's calls months ago and felt a stab of guilt for the worry I must have caused them, especially Esme.

The guilt combined with the nagging sensation in my mind made it clear what I had to do next. I needed to go home. It would be good to be among the family again, they would help me cope with Bella's absence and with them I would at least have distraction.

Home to them, NOT Bella, never Bella.

I directed my steps toward the city airport, careful not to make any definite decisions so as to be able to surprise them, if I focused on the airport and not the destination Alice would be unable to see my choice.

When I arrived at the departures board I found the flight I needed and queued patiently at the ticket desk, trying to articulate an apology for Esme and the others to explain my selfish behavior. They would understand, they had their mates with them, they knew the force of the bond. If they would help me I felt sure I could be strong in my resolve to stay away from Bella, though Alice may be a problem.

"Next please," the man at the ticket desk called, and I looked up to see he was waiting for me. I stepped forward apologizing to the tutting humans behind me.

"One way to…" I trailed off. I knew where I was going; Ithaca. That was where the family were and even if they had moved on they would have left word there for me. But the words failed to come.

"To?" the man said impatiently.

"Seattle!" I blurted without thinking. "I need a one way ticket to SeaTac please."

As soon as the words left my mouth I felt a wave of intense relief and the persistent niggle in my mind disappeared.

Bella, I'm coming home.

The reviews for the last chapter were amazing. Thank you all so much. I have a new selection of lyrics for you to take a look at. Same rules apply; whoever guesses the song will get the next chapter dedicated to them. Good luck.

~ Those heavenly calls. You knew I was on my own. Those heavenly calls. We stepped into the unknown ~