Marvellous G: Well, sorry it's been so long, but my Wii's been keeping me busy (ugh...). But, as it's the first day of the Christmas holidays, I'm gonna do a carol singing chapter featuring Cake and the gang instead. Enjoy! And don't worry, updates'll be more regular from now on. I might even finish before Xmas!

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Chapter Thirty-Six: Carol Singing, Cake Style!

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Cake, Eva, Cat-Man, T3h L33t and Molting trudged along the dimly lit pavement, huddling together to keep out the particular brand of cold that this December night sported.

"So, what are we actually going to sing?" Molting asked after a while.

"Well, what is your favourite Christmas song, Molty?" Cake asked happily.

"Well, I-" Molting began, before being cut off by our bumbling idiot of a hero.

"I love Christmas!" Cake said loudly, suddenly stepping out from the group of huddled protagonists. He jumped into the street, and began screaming out his uplifting speech to the world.

"C'mon, everyone! It's our last night off before we go back to Russia, and Molting, it's your last day before I kill you!" He pointed at the Colonel, who stared blankly for a moment. He then turned away, sobbing. As Eva turned around to comfort him, Cake continued his speech.

"So, let's all sing together!" He yelled, irritating several of the people who lived in the houses nearby. "Let's sing…" He paused for a second, thinking of something seasonal and easy to parody. "Jingle Bells!" He burst out, and everybody immediately began grinning.

"Now a one, a two, a one! Two! Three! Four!"

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Cake: Dashing through the base,
Eva: In a Ducati today,
T3h L33t: Through the tedium we go…
Molting: Cackling all the way!

Cake: My radi o rings,

Chute Doctor: Giving me a fright!

Molting: What fun it is to kill and maim!

Cat-Man: With my SAAs tonight!

All: Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells!

Eva: Jingle all the way!

Molting: Oh what fun it is to run,

Cake: Rampant through your base!

All: Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells!

Eva: Jingle all the way!

Molting: Oh what fun it is to run, (glowers at Cake)

Cake: (is scared of Molting) Very far away! (sobs)

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Once the group had found Cake again, they congratulated him on his idea to sing so freely.

"That was fun, I suppose…" T3h L33t said, typically bored. Molting, however, couldn't stop giggling.

"That was so… funny!" He laughed, like an irritating five year old schoolboy. As he was receiving glares, Eva cleared her throat.

"I'd like to lead the next song, please." Everybody looked around at her attentively. "Which I would like to be… Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree!" Everyone groaned, but readied themselves to sing as the paragraph change line thingy appeared in mid air…

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Cake: Stealthin' around the Christmas tree!

Eva: At Geeky Dorky's souvenir shop!

Molting: (cackles) Corpses hung everywhere you can see,

Cat-Man: They're good practice for my shots! (fires several rounds into a hanging corpse)

Cake: Stealthin' around the Christmas tree!

T3h L33t: Let the gunshots ricochet and ring!

Molting: Later I'll have some torture pie!

Cat-Man: And I'll wonder what's wrong with him! (points at Molting)

Cake: You will get a slightly nervous feeling, when you heeeeeeeaaaaaaar…

Eva: Footsteps right behind you… (sneaks up behind Molting, who screams)

Molting: Golly!

T3h L33t: (grinning evilly) Your pain makes me feel all jolly!

Cake: Stealthin' around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday! (waves at readers)

Eva: Everyone sneaking merrily,

Molting: In the Stealth Cam Ou Flage way! (disappears)

Cake: You will get a slightly nervous feeling, when you heeeeeeeaaaaaaar…

Eva: Footsteps right behind you… (sneaks up behind Molting, who screams)

Molting: Golly!

T3h L33t: (grinning evilly) Your pain makes me feel all jolly!

Cake: Stealthin' around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday! (waves at readers)

Eva: Everyone sneaking merrily,

Molting: In the Stealth Cam Ou Flage way! (disappears)

All: Merry Christmas!

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Marvellous G: Well, I know this chapter is a bit short, but, hey, who wants to be reading my rubbishy story when you've got Christmas shopping to do? Well, I really hope you enjoyed that. Please review as always (thanks to everyone who's stuck by this story, you've all kept me going) and that leaves but one more thing to be said, and I bet you can all guess what that is…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!