It all started with a book.

Norrington's curiosity and amusement got the best of him the day he was introduced to the romance novel. It seemed so innocent, sitting on the coffee table before him as he watched the afternoon talk show on TV. He'd seen it around plenty of times before, but each time, his curiosity pushed him further and further to see what lay between the absurdly humorous cover and the somewhat terrifying back cover. So, the day came when he picked up the book and opened it.

He opened the book to the middle and started reading. One eyebrow slowly rose as he read on and before he knew it, a small burst of laughter had escaped his lips. He slapped a hand over his mouth, but continued reading. Unbeknownst to him, Jack had entered the room and had heard the laughter. Curiosity piqued, he crept over to stand behind Norrington, wondering just what it is that he was laughing at.

"What the hell are you reading?" Jack could no longer contain himself. His outburst startled Norrington and he dropped the book as if it had suddenly become red hot. He jumped to his feet, spinning to face Jack.

"You need to wear a bell." Norrington responded in frustration, crossing his arms over his chest. Jack, seeing his ever present chance to annoy the commodore, crossed his arms over his chest. Norrington gave him a look and dropped his arms to his side. Jack repeated the motion, trying hard to keep the serious look on his face that mirrored Norrington's. The ex-commodore muttered under his breath, spun around, and dropped back onto the couch. Jack repeated the same motion. Unfortunately he had been too intent on annoying Norrington by copying him. When he spun and sat, he suddenly realized there wasn't a couch there and fell with a thud on the floor. Norrington smiled in satisfaction and picked up the book again.

Jack cursed under his breath and climbed to his feet, hopping lithely over the back of the couch and sitting beside Norrington. He craned his neck so that he could read as well. "Mate, I have to ask, why would you be reading a smutty book like this?" He wrinkled his nose at the heinous description on the page before him.

"It's not mine, Sparrow." Norrington responded as he stifled another snicker. "I found it under the couch. This hasn't been the first novel of this quality I've seen and from the absurd cover, I had to know if the writing was just as bad." He licked his lips. "And from what I've read, it's worse."

"It's worse than worse. It belongs on a pay per view channel." A frown crossed the pirate's face. "Is that even possible?" He asked, reaching over and pointing to a paragraph. Norrington's eyebrow rose again as he read over the passage.

"I doubt it, but we should ask the medical student when he gets home." His response was punctuated by the front door slamming shut.

"Ask me what?" Will called and jogged into the living room. "Medical advice? I'm your walking, talking medical encyclopedia." The pirate and the commodore exchanged glances and Norrington wordlessly handed the book up to Will, pointing out the passage. Will stared at it, reading silently. After a moment, he handed it back to Norrington. "Uh, is that even possible?"

"We were going to ask you that." Jack said. "And if anyone in this household could do it, it would be you. You're the flexible one."

"Yeah, but that's two people. I'm only one guy." Will said with a shrug. "It's going to have to remain a mystery."

"No it doesn't." Jack said suddenly. "Inquiring minds want to know. Norry will help you." He grabbed the book out of Norrington's hand and shoved him to his feet. "You two go solve this mystery and I'll just read this and laugh."

Norrington clearly disliked the idea and Will looked as if he'd rather suffer torture than test the theory with the ex-fiancee of his girlfriend. Jack noticed their unease and gave them both a look. "Oh come on. It's like playing Twister."

"Impossible Twister." Will grumbled.

"Twister? Are we playing? Are the girls playing?" Bill popped his head around the corner, but looked disappointed to see no Twister mat, Twister spin board, or anything female playing the game. "You got my hopes up for nothing." He muttered as he sat down heavily next to Jack. His nose wrinkled as he saw the cover of the book Jack was holding. "Just what in the name of hell is that?" He asked, poking at it as if it were a dirty sweat sock someone had left under the bed for a year.

"It's called a smutty romance novel." Jack replied. "Women apparently find reading these things entertaining."

Bill snorted. "Entertaining? Give me a break." He tossed his head back as if he had long, golden hair like the figure on the book cover, puffing out his chest. He breathed in deeply and looked to Jack with such a lustful look on his face that the pirate curled up as far away as he possibly could from Bill. "Mon chere, you will not marry the Duke of Somewhere French Sounding because I, the pirate of your heart, have come to rescue you and drag you off to exotic locales where I will be your scantily clad cabana boy." He made a motion like he was tossing long hair around and scooted closer to Jack. Jack crawled up onto the arm of the couch and put a foot against Bill's chest.

"Not an inch closer, mate." He said warily.

"But my love! Why do you reject me?" His eyes widened as if he were in pain. He clasped his hands over his heart. "You wound me. I should crawl off and die for suffering such loss." He slumped against the opposite end of the couch, one hand on his forehead.

"Is it just me, or is this really funny?" Will said. Norrington nodded, smirking. Jack scowled and leaned over, shoving Bill off the couch.

"How anyone could find that attractive is beyond me." He said, shaking his head. Will picked up the book, flipping it open to a new page.

"This is even worse." Will said, catching their attention. Bill sat up off the floor and Jack glanced over his shoulder again as Will began to read. "'The sun glinted off his bronze tanned chest, making her heart speed up. She wanted to reach out and touch his rock abs, touch the rock hard muscles.'" He wrinkled his nose as he stared down at the book. "Dude, why?"

"Rock abs." Jack snorted and started laughing. "The women don't want rock abs. They won't nicely toned men." He got off the couch. "Novel Romeo has nothing on Jack Sparrow." He pulled up his shirt, patting his stomach. "Nothing but pure muscle, but not over muscled. Like fine wine."

"No, no, no." Will pulled up his shirt. "This is finely tuned muscle." He bragged. Jack gave him a look.

"You haven't a chance, whelp." Just as he said that, the dog heard his name and came running into the living room, bouncing around. "Not you." Jack snapped at the dog.

"I can't believe you two are fighting over this." Norrington muttered.

"There's nothing to fight over. Jack is clearly jealous..."

"Jealous? What would I have to be jealous of?"

"Where should I start?"

"What's going on here?" Elizabeth stood in the doorway with Anamaria, both women looking mildly amused. Jack and Will both had their shirts off, Norrington had his nose stuck in the romance novel, and Bill was looking over his shoulder. At the sound of her voice, they all jumped into the motion. Norrington threw the book over his shoulder, right into Bill's forehead. Bill rubbed his forehead moodily. Jack and Will both scrambled to pull their shirts back on, although Will's went on backwards.

Anamaria went over, picking up the book. Bill tried to intercept him, but she easily pulled his foot out from under him. Bill toppled into his son and they both went down with a thud as Anamaria picked up the book. She raised an eyebrow. "Who reads this?" She asked.

"It's not yours?" Jack asked. She gave him a look.

"Do I look like I'd read this kind of book?"

Jack thought back to all the slapping, the insults, the slapping, the teasing, and of course, the slapping. After taking that into consideration, he shook his head. "No, I really don't see you as the type." He replied, dead pan. Elizabeth flushed red, covering her mouth, but saying nothing. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice her unease.

"Elizabeth?"

"No, of course not." She replied, smiling and putting an arm around Will's waist. "Why would I need it when I have my very own pirate?" He grinned pridefully and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"My Elizabeth." He said, squeezing her tightly.

Jack shrugged and crossed the room, tossing the book into the garbage can. "Be gone, foul thing. Let us ponder this no longer." He turned to the crew, rubbing his hands together. "I'm in the mood to eat out. How does chicken wings sound to everyone?"

There was a mutual agreement and everyone made for the door in the hallway. Elizabeth pulled away from Will. "I'll be right there." She told him, kissing him on the nose. He gave her hand a quick squeeze and headed into the hallway. Once she was sure he was gone, she dashed back to the living room and opened up the garbage can, pulling out the book. With a quick glance around, she stuffed it into the umbrella holder.

"This is what I get for living in a household full of pirates."