The Hellsing Files:
The rest of Integra's "Vacation."
Integra stood on a balcony overlooking a long stretch of beach. The wind blowing over the ocean caused her white dress to flutter slightly, but nearly knocked the wide sunhat she wore of her head.
She held it grumpily onto her head and wondered if she would ever be able to relax. She was supposed to be dressed casually, but in the dress, she felt as though she were dressed up for some sort of Halloween party.
There was one day left on her month-long vacation and not since the incident on the beach had it felt like time off work. She had taken to staying in the hotel room and sleeping, rather than risk idiocy by going outside.
Letting out a sigh, she supposed she aught to head on out and attempt to have something resembling fun. Perhaps, for once, she would be able to go out and not be bothered by freaks.
It was mid-afternoon and Integra had opted to risk a quiet stroll down the beach. Making sure to keep well away from the beach of the cactus people, she looked out over the water as she walked and wondered just what the hell cactus people were doing living on a beach. Cacti belong in deserts, she thought. Fate must have flown them in to torment me.
Regardless of where the cactus people came from, she was beginning to feel confident of the fact that no freaks would annoy her on her walk. Her hopes dimmed somewhat when, after she took a detour off the beach and up a hill to avoid some washed-up jellyfish, she heard the sounds of a ball being knocked around.
The sound was coming from the edge of a short cliff. Against her better judgment, she went over to investigate, thinking a simple volleyball game was taking place.
She didn't see a volleyball net when she looked. It appeared as though some sort of circus had taken up residency on the beach and was doing some sort of drill using a ball. Everyone was wearing large, yellow pants. None of their outfits were symmetrical in the least; each one sporting some bizarre array of accessories that made each person resemble a Christmas tree in an orphanage.
One of the clowns, or whatever they were, instead of knocking the ball back to his partner did a back flip and kicked the ball, sending it rocketing towards Integra while her mind was busy trying to make sense of what was going on. Just before the ball struck her in the forehead, she chided herself for coming over to investigate what had obviously been yet another freak show.
When she woke up, her head ached. Blinking into the sun, she felt for her glasses. They were still on her head, unbroken. Blinking twice, she could make out the concerned features of a young, tanned looking man sporting the ugliest haircut she had ever seen.
Thinking it might be a headdress and not his actual hair, she sat up. The entire group backed up, along with the odd looking man, who seemed to be the group's leader.
"Hey, Lady, you alright? You took a hard knock there," the man said in a thick, faintly Hawaiian accent.
"I'm fi…" Integra stopped, feeling a wave of nausea come over her. She flopped backward onto the sand, ready to roll over and vomit in case she couldn't hold it back.
"Dang," the man said. "We need to get you some antidote. I'm Wakka by the way, and these are the Besaid Aurochs."
Holding her stomach and feeling more confused than anything else, she glared at Wakka. "You're what of the who? What do I need an antidote for?"
"Wakka," he said. "Captain of Besaid's blitzball team, the Aurochs. You've been poisoned and you need an antidote. Hey, get this lady what she needs!" Wakka shouted.
Okay, that answers one question, Integra thought. They're not clowns, they're some kind of sports team…but what the hell is blitzball and where on God's green earth is Besaid? "Who poisoned me?" she asked.
"Er, the ball. It was a poisoned one. We're teaching Tidus here some new moves," Wakka said, pointing clearly to a young blond man who was now looking nervous. "It's his fault. Him. Right over there, see?"
Tidus began shuffling behind another player, trying to avoid taking the blame. Integra felt for her gun, wanting to make sure none of these people ever bothered her, or anyone else, ever again. When she didn't find it, remembering she left it in the hotel room, she went limp and decided she would hunt them later, like animals, once they gave her the antidote for the poison.
Someone rushed over with a small container. She snatched it from his hand and popped open the cork. Inside was a smelly blue substance, which she drank. The look on Wakka's face made her frown. "What?"
"You drank it," Wakka said, sounding unsure. "Usually we just throw it up over our heads, but I suppose drinking it works too."
The feeling of wanting to vomit left the instant the medicine hit her stomach. She got to her feet as quickly as she could, and began walking.
"Say, you took that hit pretty good, poison aside," Wakka said, backing up and walking in front of her. "You should stay and jo…" he was stopped by Integra's fist connecting with his chin. The punch seemed to shut Wakka off like a light switch. He hit the sand flat on his back and didn't move.
No, Integra thought. I will not be coached into joining some freak's sporting event and going on some horrid little adventure where the day gets saved or… her thoughts were interrupted by Tidus, who got in front of her and opened his mouth to say something. Her fist silenced him before he could utter a second syllable. No, no, no.
She made her way back to the hotel in short order, having been forced to only punch a child wanting to play something called Duel Monsters and a giant talking milk shake. She flopped onto her bed and flicked on the television.
It was the news.
The top story for that night seemed to be occurring in England. While reports were confusing and conflicting, it seemed that a gun battle had broken out at a mansion. It was currently believed to be between gang members and a nunnery.
Integra changed the channel and began watching a cooking show. She knew the gun battle had something to do with Hellsing, but resolved not to care until sometime tomorrow.
End of Integra's Vacation: assuming it ever really began.