Jaime knew Allyria was enjoying herself. Sure, as they walked arm in arm to the small council meeting they were both asked to attend for some ridiculous reason his father concocted, she had complained. For a good portion of it she had sat silent too, but now they were talking about Dorne. It almost reminded him of what he could be like in the yard, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind who was the best. Jaime was happy that she was happy but quite frankly he didn't care which Martell was really coming to claim the seat and his "justice".

His thoughts were going somewhere else, somewhere more complicated. Allyria had told him that first night that she wouldn't see him disgraced by any of the servants; they would share a bed but they would not lie together. Jaime had asked if she meant he would never get to be inside of her again. He was surprised when she started to cry, "I don't know, I just I don't know Jaime." Her voice had been so quiet as she spoke through the tears, her eyes shut against him. He didn't push it just wordlessly got into bed beside her. When she had moved as far away from him as possible he bit his tongue to hold in the angry remarks. When he woke in the morning the bed was cold and she was gone. Every morning since then had held exactly the same fate. Until this morning, she was still there when he woke up.

Her head was on his chest, directly over his heart. At first he thought she was still asleep but he began to feel her stroking his side and over his ribs. His arms went to her sides, pulling her up so he could kiss her. When he got close enough Jaime saw she was surprised by his actions. She flew out of his arms the second the kiss was over. "Good morning," he said unsuccessful at hiding his smirk.

"Your not usually awake." She snapped back. Why is she angry, what could I have possibly done so early in the morning.

"Well it has been awhile since you touched me like that, I have been waiting for this for six moons."

She didn't say anything; she didn't even look at him. "Wait," he was suddenly angry beginning to just understand what was going on. "You do this every morning don't you? You listen to my heartbeat and you hold me but you leave before I awake. You aren't angry that I want you, your angry that you want me."

"Wow, you figured it all out haven't you Jaime. The fact that my heart aches every time I look at you because I know you can never love me like you love her has absolutely nothing to do with you. This whole mess is my fault; sorry I can't be the woman you need. I hear she's a widow now and in need of some comfort, maybe you should go to her. Then again Tyrion is pretty sure she is sleeping with your cousin Lancel and probably one of her Kettleblack guards too, so maybe she doesn't need you anymore." She took a pile of clothes and hurried into the other room

"Why would I need Cersei when you are acting just like her." He immediately regretted his words. Even more so when he heard the heavy lock of the door fall. All he could do was talk to the wood and hope she was listening too. Jaime put his head in hands, how in the seven hells do I get myself into these things.

With a heavy sigh he stood up from the bed and walked towards her. "I should not have said those things, that was unforgivable." Now what the hell do I say? He had never been very good at apologies. I don't care about her and who she is or I suppose is more important to you, is not fucking." He waited, hoping she would speak, say anything he didn't care what. The other side remained silent and he struggled for words. "You said I couldn't love you like I loved her, and that is true but not for the reasons you think." I hope she is ready for this. "When my mother died I had no one but her, my father was never really a father. He taught me to read that is true but it is one of my worst memories of him. She was kind and loving and caring when no one else was. I know how alone you were as a child so I know you understand how much that would mean to me." He was about to tell her why he had joined the kingsguard, the real reason not the false platitudes he had repeated over the years until it made him sick to his stomach. "We were separated after our twelfth name day, I barely saw her for the next four years. We wrote letters back and forth and I longed to see her everyday. Not because I loved her like that, I don't, I don't think I did, not yet, anyways." He was stammering and he felt ridiculous. "Then I came to Kings Landing a brand new knight and I had heard all these things about Cersei, how she was the beauty of Kings Landing her fathers daughter and so on but I couldn't get the picture of her like that. I still saw her as the girl dressing in my clothes begging me to teach her swordplay. Then, then I saw her." Jaime couldn't help the smile, he was glad Allyria couldn't see him. He would never forget that day; Jaime had thought no woman would ever be as beautiful as his sister. "She had become a woman and I am sorry if this hurts you, but I thought every man who had called her only beautiful had done her a great injustice. She asked me to meet her privately at in old abandoned inn in the city. I would have done anything she asked me." He hadn't meant to say that but he was to caught up in the memories to censor them now. " I met her and she was dressed as a serving wench and when she kissed me… I took her maidenhead, not that I had any previous experience either. That, that was the moment I knew I would do anything to spend my life by her side; she was my closest friend, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and now my lover. When she asked me to join the Kingsguard I did it. I never doubted her plans at all. I never wanted Casterly Rock anyways so it was no sacrifice." He stopped to listen for any noise behind the door; he didn't hear anything, which Jaime took for a good sign. At least she isn't crying.

"That was were everything went wrong, Lord Tywin was so angry with me, with Aerys that he resigned as soon as he heard I had been raised to the Kingsguard. It was almost four years before I saw my sister again. Not until I stopped being Ser Jaime and started being the kingslayer. When I saw her again I could see it in her face that she didn't care, I was still her brother, still the man she loved. Can you even imagine what that felt like. I saved them, I saved all these wretches but they snigger behind their backs about me."

The door unlocked and Jaime's breath stuck in his throat, should he go on or not. He waited hoping it would open; he didn't want to go in if she didn't really want to see him. "I, I, I," he was trying to remember where he left off. He changed course completely. "I don't know if I never really saw her, I knew she had the capacity for cruelty, when we were young she took delight in hurting Tyrion. I think it was Robert, he never loved her, he clung to a dead woman, not that he loved her either, they were betrothed and he put a bastard in some other woman. A maid at his brothers wedding," Jaime was getting sidetracked, he never wanted to kill Aerys though he had no regrets about it either, he did wish Robert had died by his sword however. "The woman who is here and now is my sister, but not the woman I loved. This is a shade, she looks like her but that isn't her." He laughed realizing now how stupid he had been all these years. "I had imagined her as this pure thing all my life, when in reality she just used me. I wanted to run away with her, be with her every morning and night; she would call me a fool. If she loved me it's hard to see it looking back, all I see now is how she used me. She wanted someone who was loyal to her in Kings landing to protect her. She didn't want me to go to anyone else." He put his head on the door trying with all his might to will Allyria to listen to his words, to understand what he was trying to say because he was failing miserably at getting his point across. "I can't, and I won't love you like that because you are real and she is not."

His hand reached for the door latch, he wanted so to see her but it would break him if she was still angry with him and so he stayed on the other side. He hated himself for this moment of cowardice. "You are all I truly know of kindness, humility, and love. Please don't leave me. I can't, I can't live like that anymore Allyria. You have changed me, you have shown me a better way."

The door opened and Jaime thought he was imaging it. Allyria was crying silently, Jaime couldn't stop himself from wiping them off her cheeks. She pressed her face into his warm palm with a faint smile. "Thank you Jaime, thank you for telling me the truth." She kissed his palm. Without another thought Jaime wrapped her tightly in his arms. "I forgive you Jaime," She had mumbled it into his nightclothes but there was no mistaking her words. He lifted her chin to look into her eyes, gods she is the most beautiful creature. His heart swelled with love for her, Jaime never knew he could feel like this. He meant what he said about that time with Cersei, it wasn't that physically either one of them was really more beautiful in his eyes but that Allyria had come to define the man Jaime had always wanted to be and there was such hope and love in her eyes that her beauty far surpassed that of his sister's. "I forgive you for everything."

She kissed him for the second time since he returned, but this time it was with her eyes open. Jaime pulled her so tight against him it was almost uncomfortable. Passion was coursing through his veins but right before the moment of no return she turned her face from him. "I have to go, I need to see your Uncle, you may come with but I am not sure you would like to."

What the hells? "Why do you need to see my uncle now, surely it could wait? He was nibbling at her ear.

She pushed feebly against him; he rolled his eyes but gave in and stepped away from her. "It's not your fault, and he doesn't blame you but…" She doesn't want to tell me, what could possibly be so bad that she is afraid to tell me. "Karstark killed Williem and Tion in revenge for the two boys of his you killed."

"It was in battle, it was fair and clean," Jaime roared.

"I know, I know." Her hand was on his chest again and her voice was soft as she shook her head emphatically. "So does your uncle but he grieves all the same, I am going to pay my respects to him and Martyn." She waited wondering if he would say he was coming too but he couldn't. "I will see you at the council meeting, won't that be fun," she was smiling and Jaime knew she was trying to cheer him up. "Then I will see you again tonight."

So now Jaime sat next to his wife on the other side of his father staring at his uncle whose son had just died because of him as he felt Cersei staring at him. All he could think of though was whether or not Allyria had meant what he thought she meant when she spoke of tonight. If he were a religious man he would have even prayed to the gods to put Allyria back in that bed but this time naked.

Finally it ended and Jaime all but dragged Allyria away from all of his relations. "I would say that was very rude but that was very tedious so…" She was smiling and Jaime knew they were thinking the same thing.

"I can't wait." He was not a bit ashamed of his desperation, six months was too long to be away from his wife.

"I can tell, I suppose we better hurry before you explode." You have no idea. "Don't you dare tear this dress."

"I will try not too." He wasn't even sure he could wait until they got to their chambers

The second the door closed behind them they practically attacked each other. It seemed she didn't really care about the dress after all, as she was the first to tear at the laces. "Just get it off Jaime." She was hoarse and her eyes were lidded with lust and that was all the encouragement he needed. Jaime couldn't take his eyes off of her.

When he entered her he moaned like some silly maid, "Oh Allyria." The feel of her was just as he remembered, no it was better. He stilled, soaking in the moment of being reunited like this. He rested his head on her breast nuzzling against them; he kissed the soft flesh simply enjoying every part of his wife. It seemed that she wasn't felling that patient and began to rock her hips, for that he loved her all the more. She would get what she wanted Jaime would see to that.

Jaime pulled out and she growled at him. He rolled them over, he wanted to see every part of her as she came red faced and moaning incoherently. He was not disappointed.

Authors note:

Sorry if that got a little smutty for my rating at the end, probably won't happen again I thought we deserved to see a bit of it though after everything else. Was that too sappy for Jaime? I really want him to be the quick-witted and snarky Jaime but that just wasn't appropriate here.

PS Cersei and Jaime coming up soon.