In the interest of time, I'll just say that Maes won Ed's case because he's just awesome like that. So this is the second to last chapter. *tear*

Ed and Roy had a bad fight right afterwards and this is how they resolved it.

Chapter Soundtrack: a changed version of I Hope That Somethin' Better Comes Along from the Muppet Movie so Ed and Riza can sing it about men instead of Rowlf and Kermit singing about women.

Ring Ring – ABBA (as sung by Edwarda Elric)

Medley 1: Witch Doctor (David Seville), Purple People Eater (Sheb Wooley)and Bill Bailey (traditional but Bobby Darin's version)… (as sung by Edwarda Elric)

Medley 2: You Can't Hurry Love (Phil Collins), So Happy Together (The Turtles) and It's Not Unusual (Tom Jones) … (as sung by Edwarda Elric, Jean Havok, Kain Fuery, Vato Falman, Heymans Breda and Roy Mustang)

Riza walked into the mess hall, now serving as a club of sorts for officers and consultants as a hasty scribbled note said on the door. She shook her head and went inside. Ed was at the piano, tinkling away at the ivories. She looked blue so Riza grabbed two scotches and went over to her. "Evening," she said as a greeting. "You look like you could use a drink."

Ed looked up at her. "Hi, sister." She continued to play absently.

Riza listened for a while. Finally, she cut to the chase. "Let me guess, troubles with Roy."

"Does it show?"

"Listen, when you've been around as long as I have, you've seen a broken heart for every drop of rain. A shattered dream for every falling star."

Ed played the bass notes on down to the end before ceasing. "Exactly. We had a bad fight last week and Mustang just walked out on me." She resumed playing.

"Eh, that doesn't surprise me. That's why I live alone."

"Oh?"

"You bet. I finish work; I go home, read a book, have a drink or two, take Black Hayate out for a walk and go to bed."

"Nice and simple."

"Stay away from romance, that's my motto."

"I just can't seem to keep away from him."

"That's a problem."

Ed sighed and the music changed. "You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em, There's something irresistabullish about 'em."

"We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long," sang Riza. "I hope that something better comes along."

"It's no good complaining and pointless to argue."

"If he's good looking, he has a way of staying on your mind."

Ed winced at the bad line. "He made a human out of the Little Mermaid."

"I hope that something better comes along," they dueted.

Riza continued. "Oh, what could be better than a dreamy corporate heir when puppy love comes on strong? Or a banker that's a single. A lad that makes you tingle. A lover and husband gives you a new leash on life."

"Uh," said Ed. "Are you improving?"

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Two, three, four. I don't meat to scare you, my friend, but I bet ya, come Mother's Day the litter bug's going to get ya."

"The urge is righteous but the face is wrong."

"I hope that something better comes along."

Ed went ahead and launched into the next verse. "Still it's fun when they're fetching and ask you to see an etching that they keep at their apartment. There is no solution, it's part of evolution."

"The pitter patter of souls, the little feet of tadpoles."

"Sister," asked Ed, "will you stop making shit up?"

"Oops. I did it again."

"Two, three, four. There's no limitation to mixing and matching."

"Some get an itching for a critter they've been scratching. A skunk was badgered, the results were strong. I hope that something better."

"I hope that something better, I hope that something better comes along!"

As Ed finished the song, Riza sighed. "Tell us about your blues, sister."

"There's not much to tell…" began Ed before she jumped up and stole the microphone that Jean had just set up. "… I was sitting by the phone. I was waiting all alone. Baby, by myself I sit and wait and wonder about you. It's a dark and dreary night. Seems like nothing's going right. Won't you tell me, honey, how can I go here without you? Yes, I'm down and feeling blue and I don't know what to do!"

Roy and Maes came in as the crowd joined her. "Oh, oh, ring, ring, why don't you give me a call? Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all. Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall."

Ed soloed "And I sit all alone impatiently, won't you please understand the need in me."

The crowd joined her again. "So, ring, ring, why don't you give me a call? Oh, oh, ring, ring, why don't you give me a call?"

Ed ran across the stage. "You were here and now you're gone. Hey, did I do something wrong? I just can't believe that I could be so badly mistaken. Was it me or was it you? Tell me, are we really through? Won't you hear me cry and you will know that my heart is breaking. Please forgive and then forget or maybe, darling, better yet…"

The crowd was too happy to sing along. "Oh, oh, ring, ring, why don't you give me a call? Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all. Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall."

"And I sit all alone impatiently, won't you please understand the need in me."

She let the crowd finish the song and went to talk to Riza. "How about a little medley for you guys?"

As the crowd roared its approval, Maes turned to Roy. "I bet she knows you're here." Roy didn't reply. He was watching Ed return to center stage.

She grinned, back the microphone. "I'll admit I wasn't very smart so I went out and found myself a guy that's so much wiser and he taught me the way to win your heart… I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line? He said eating purple people and it sure is fine, but that's not the reason that I came to land. I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band. Okay, let's go home! Won't you come home, Bill Bailey? Won't you come home? She moans the whole day long. I'll do the cooking, honey, I'll even pay the rent. I know, I know I've done you wrong. Do you remember that rainy evening that I throw you out with nothing but a fine toothed comb? I know I'm to blame, well ain't it a shame. Bailey, won't you please come? Bailey, won't you please come? Bailey, won't you please come? One more time. Bailey, won't you please come home!"

"I told you so," Maes said to Roy. Jean caught his boss's eye and nodded.

Ed was about to go sit down but somebody out there loved her so they hollered for more. "More!" shouted Maes. Mob psychology grabbed the crowd by the throat.

"Okay! One more song!" she laughed. "I need love, love, ooh, to ease my mind, I need to find, time, someone to call mine, but Momma said you can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. She said love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take. You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. Just trust in the good time, no matter how long it takes…"

Suddenly the quartet jumped on the stage. "… I can see me loving nobody but you for all my life. When you're with me, baby, the skies will be blue for all my life. Me and you and you and me. No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be. The only one for me is you and you for me. So happy together."

They backed up. Ed opened her mouth to keep singing but a new voice interrupted. "It's not unusual to go out at anytime," she moved to let Roy on stage. "But when I see you out and about it's such a crime. If you should ever want to be loved by anyone, it's not unusual, it happens every day, no matter what you say. You find it happens all the time. Love will never do what you want it to. Why can't this crazy love be mine? It's not unusual to be mad with anyone. It's not unusual to be sad with anyone, but I ever find that you changed at anytime, it's not unusual to find that I'm in love with you!" Then he took her by the hand. "Let's go home, Edwarda Felicity."

As they walked out together, hand in hand, Jean ran back on stage. Riza threw a tomato at him. He dodged as mob psychology grabbed the crowd again and he was booed off the stage.