Bellatrix has began teaching me the Unforgivable Curses. We sneak out every night now, either for a meeting with the Dark Lord or to find small animals to manipulate, torture, or kill. That bothers me at first, but I see Bellatrix loves it and I convince myself that I do too.
Tonight, we're sitting under a willow tree on the edge of the Black Lake. Bellatrix manages to capture a rabbit. She drops it, immobilized, at my feet with the command of, "Cruciatus, now."
We don't talk much when we're training. Not because I don't want to, but because she's obsessively focused on turing me into a flawless weapon at least half as good as she is.
"Crucio!" I shout, preparing to torment the defenseless creature. It whimpers when the spell hits, curls up and paws at the ground in a futile escape attempt. Poor thing, but better it than me, right? I for one don't want to face Bellatrix's wrath if I get the spell wrong again.
"Mean it!" She orders me for what has to be the hundredth time.
"I'm trying," I assure her.
"If you were doing it right, it would be screaming, not whimpering. Screaming. Do you understand the difference, love?"
I blink, "Yes, but-"
"Let me show you... Crucio!"
I'm expecting her to hit the rabbit, so I'm not at all prepared for it when I see her wand pointed at me. I've never felt the torture curse before, so I really don't know what to expect. Well, obviously, pain. But just how much or how acute that pain will be could vary greatly. I even convince myself that it might even feel good, because the one I love is the one casting it on me. Because she wants it.
Perhaps, I'll develop that same lovesick masochism she displays when the Dark Lord casts it on her. Or maybe-
Pain! Horrid, unadulterated pain courses through me. It's like nothing I've ever felt before, nothing words can describe. It's something like when I got the Dark Mark, but so much more intense. Bella, Bella, stop, please! I think, hopelessly, senselessly.
The moment I let out a scream, she does stop. Nope, I'm definitely not a masochist. Hey, Alecto was right, she did hurt me again... I really can't help thinking that and I hate myself for it.
"I'm sorry," Bellatrix murmurs. "It's part of the teaching method."
"Teaching method?" I inquire. "Who taught you?"
"The Dark Lord Himself taught me."
"Really?" I exclaim in disbelief. She nods. "Is that when He starting Crucio-ing you?"
"He didn't have to... I got it right the first time."
"Oh."
There's a long, almost unbearable pause. In that silence I can feel tension building between us. I hate that awkwardness, so I break it. "You're a great teacher."
"Thanks... So, do you forgive me?"
"I always do."