Finding Yourself
Author:Nightstar Productions(Nightstar Fury).
Rated: Mfor Mature.
Pairing:Toothless & Hiccup.
Disclaimer:I do not own the HTTYD movies, Dreamworks Dragons series.
Chapter 36: Camp Out.
It really was the best birthday party ever, Toothless hadn't had this much fun since his turning 8 birthday party. The whole day had been perfect, from start to where it was now where he and his friends were all sitting around a camp fire roasting marshmallows for s'mores. It was also odd that he referred to Dagur, Snotlout, Eret, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Cami, Astrid, and Heather as his friends. Well Cami and Heather he considered friends since they were always with Fishlegs and Tyr but nevertheless, he really did see them all as friends. There wasn't a division between their groups anymore thanks to Toothless, there seemed to be a mutual understanding not to mess with Toothless and everything would be fine. In addition to the awesome party, Lilly and Markus also said that the boys at least could all spend the night if they wanted.
For Hiccup this was a no brainer, as with Tyr and Fishlegs. The other boys weren't sold on the idea since well they were aware sleep overs were the other guys thing to do. Toothless made mention that the basement wasn't big enough for them all to sleep in unless they moved the couch and 4 recliner chairs in to the spare room where laundry was. Markus suggested they sleep outside under the food tent since it was see through, and would keep the mosquitos from getting at them. Snotlout and Tuffnut ended up agreeing to stay, and after them coaxing Dagur and Eret the all ended up staying. Around 9:15pm, the parents of Astrid, Cami, Ruffnut, and Heather came to get them.
"Thank you girls for coming, seriously best birthday I've had in a long time." Toothless said to them waving as they got in the respected cars to go home, then finally left. Now it was just the boys sitting around the fire, music playing in the background only the volume turned down so they didn't disturb the neighbors. They still had snacks out on the porch, and a cooler full of soda to drink. Celica, Elisa, and Eirik all yawned as Toothless chuckled at them. "Why don't you three head inside and get some sleep." Toothless offered.
"Sounds good. Night bro and happy birthday again." Celica said as she hugged him tightly, then Elisa did the same, finally Eirik fist-bumped him and the three siblings disappeared in to the house.
"Well I think we'll head inside too and let you boys enjoy the night. I want the music off by 11 son, and try not to stay up to late." Markus smiled.
"Got it dad. Thanks again for the party...Felt really good to know you all went through so much trouble for a week just to plan it." Toothless said as he hugged them both, Lilly placed a kiss on his cheek.
"You're welcome baby. If you need anything let us know, we'll leave the sliding door unlocked for you." Lilly said with a light yawn. "Oh and cover all the food, put it in the garage refrigerator so it doesn't spoil. That's left overs tomorrow night." Lilly smiled.
"We will, Mrs. Fury." Fishlegs nodded.
"Goodnight boys." Markus said as he led his wife inside the house. Now everyone sat back and relaxed in their chairs watching the fire.
"You got a pretty awesome family, Tooth. I'll hand it to you." Eret said.
"They are pretty awesome. I knew they'd do something for my birthday...but not this." Toothless sighed out with his eyes closed.
"Yo cuz, what's up with you tonight? You're so quiet." Snotlout pointed out making Toothless look over at Hiccup who was just sitting there staring up at the sky. It was such a clear night too, could see the stars perfectly.
"Just enjoying the night with my boyfriend and friends is all." Hiccup replied, Toothless knew better. He put his soda down and then got up moving in front of Hiccup and crouching down with a hand on his thigh and smiling softly.
"You know I know you better than that, Hiccup. Come on, tell me what's wrong." Toothless asked.
"Nothings...wrong just thinking is all or I guess maybe wondering." Hiccup answered looking down at him now.
"Wondering about?" Fishlegs asked now.
"How you did it, Tooth? Got through so many birthdays...Without your birth parents there?" Hiccup asked lightly.
"I did it the same way I do everything without them here...I remember that they are everywhere I go. Just like yours are with you, Hayden. They are your parents, they made you, so you are the perfect mix of both of them so they are never really gone. You just can't see them anymore, but you know they are there. And if you ever want to see them, just look in the mirror. You got your father's eyes, and your mothers hair. Your mother's looks, but your father's personality. Which means that they live on through you babe. In your memories, and your heart forever." Toothless said calmly.
"I'll never understand how you're so good at all this...I mean...Wait, yeah...How did you help me through sitting at the headstones when...you didn't do it yourself for 9 years...?" Hiccup asked him.
"Trade secret love." Toothless kissed his lips lightly then got up to sit in his seat again.
"Oh come on, we gotta know Toothless. It shocked us when we came here that day and found out you'd never been through it yourself but helped Hiccup as if you'd been doing it all your life." Tyr cut in.
"Yeah, seriously...When your dad told us you insisted on doing it alone because it was something you had to do it made us remember that day in language arts, your first day with that journal entry. We actually went upstairs and checked your notebook to make sure it was the same thing. Oops...And I've said too much." Fishlegs quickly covered his mouth.
"Good goin, Legs." Tyr huffed. Toothless arched an eyebrow at them and laughed a little.
"I had a feeling something had been touched in my room. I keep it as clean as I do for a reason, I noticed right away something was moved." Toothless smiled.
"But...how?...You came home that night and...spent two days in the hospital which I'd still like to know how the hell you did with injuries like that. Would of had me down for a week at least." Tyr blinked.
"I have an extremely high tolerance for pain. But either way...Don't worry, I ain't mad you were in my room. Actually its nice to know that you understood my father's words that day." Toothless admitted.
"But Tooth, even with a high tolerance level for pain...We saw those injuries, and heard about them from the doctor. How were you even able to move after all that...?" Hiccup asked.
"Hiccup love, I'll let you in on a little secret. With all I've been through in my life, sometimes feeling a little pain was my only way of known I was still alive. With some of those injuries like I said, I would of preferred to be dead but...The pain was my reminder that I was still alive, and made it through something else that should of killed me. The pain shows me that I'm still human." Toothless smiled.
"Got us beat, I'm with Tyr. Something like that happened to me, my ass wouldn't be movin anytime soon." Dagur stated.
"Speaking of...Eret, which one of those detectives was your uncle?" Toothless asked.
"Uh...Darion Anderson. He's my mom's brother and sorry again for that...I wasn't intentionally looking for information on you. My uncle left the folder wide open when I was babysitting his daughter, and she spilled milk on it. I took it to dry it off before any of the info got ruined." Eret sighed.
"I didn't care that you saw, I cared that you told everyone." Toothless mumbled.
"It just sorta slipped at lunch that day man, everyone was trying to figure out what happened to you to get all those injuries and then how you acted in history during the show..." Eret replied.
"Well its done and over with now so drop it." Toothless closed his eyes.
"Alright so I gotta know, where in the name of Thor did you learn to sing the way you do?" Tuffnut asked quickly.
"I dunno, just can I guess. I never learned, just heard songs and went for it. Hiccup's actually a good singer too." Toothless chuckled.
"Say what? No way, I've never heard him sing a day in his life." Snotlout said.
"But I have, and he's really good at it." Toothless smiled as Hiccup blushed now.
"I–I am...n–not..." Hiccup protested.
"Yes you are, you're just shy about it. But I won't push ya to do it, and by the way love...Don't think I don't know you were recording me that day when Tyr was grounded, and Fishlegs was sick so it was just us at the sleep over." Toothless grinned.
"Ho–how did you know about that!" Hiccup asked quickly.
"Because you practically begged me to sing, and didn't think you'd ever hear it again so you kept the video of it." Toothless stuck his tongue out at him.
"Well excuse me if I thought you'd never do it again, and that song was awesome...Knowing about your past now...I understand why you keep such a song around." Hiccup mumbled.
"Alright can we get back on topic here. Tooth, how did you know how to help Hiccup when you never did the same?..." Tyr asked.
"Do you remember what I told you the day of the wake before we left school?" Toothless asked, they nodded. "That's why." Toothless stated.
"Yeah but you said you could help him, and you said in your journal entry that first day that...if you couldn't help yourself, you can't help anyone else. If you can't trust yourself, you can't trust others...So...how was it you could help Hiccup but...not yourself? And you scolded him for going through it alone by choice, when you did the same thing. You realize this makes you a hypocrite..." Fishlegs stated.
"Not necessarily. And misunderstood my words about the situation. Yes I chose to do it alone, because I felt like it was the only way I'd be able to say I made it through. As I stated that day...I didn't have anyone when I lost my parents. No one to claim me, to take care of me. No one to sit with me at the wake. No one to tell me I wasn't alone and they'd be there for me. And after the fact, I never got to go back to the cemetery. I was immediately stuck in foster care for 4 years, then another 4 in the orphanage. I never got to grieve, I was forced to bottle it up for years and when I got to the orphanage...many a times I would of preferred death over the pain I felt. You're aware of all this so I won't go through it again, but you get the picture. And when I saw someone else doing through what had...I stepped in. I've been through the depression, shut down, be angry and not listen to anyone before...So I know how to break through it." Toothless said.
"Yeah we all saw that first hand. Few of us actually have it on camera..." Dagur added.
"But the cemetery thing, you never went through that until after I did...so how did you know how to help me baby?" Hiccup asked.
"I just knew. True I never got the chance to go through it before you, but I knew it was something I needed to do eventually or I'd never get past it. So when I learned you hadn't been, I made you go because I didn't want you to feel what I felt. Bottling it inside. And after I helped you, I knew I couldn't put it off anymore and I had the means to get there...so I did and well we all see how that turned out." Toothless said softly. "I was able to help Hiccup, because I still know how to deal with pain. I was always able to help myself, and trust myself...I just never had the chance too." Toothless said. "I told you, I've helped a lot of people in my time at the orphanage. Lot of kids are still alive because I talked them down or just gave them someone to talk too. That's why when I left, and when I returned with the class...they were all over me." Toothless shrugged.
"And hey, we're sorry for givin you crap that day too in language arts about your entry...Teacher and Hayden were right, no one could of wrote such words if they hadn't been through a lot of shit themselves." Tuffnut said.
"I appreciate that. But again, all in the past which I tend to let go of and move on. And Hayden...I know you're upset about your parents not being here when your birthday is next month. But you remember what I told you the day at the cemetery right?" Toothless asked.
"That they are always with me no matter where I go or what I do. Forever." Hiccup smiled a bit.
"And as long as you never forget that, then no matter how bad one day gets you'll be just fine. There will always be days where it hurts more than others and on those days, go to the one place you feel the closest to them. For me, it's the cemetery which is why I went a few weeks ago and I plan to go every year for their birthdays and on holidays." Toothless stated.
"And you are so not going by yourself." Hiccup added.
"Yes I am. I have the car now, I don't have to walk the streets like I did the first time." Toothless said. "Trust me, I'll be okay." Toothless added.
"I trust you but damn it, Toothless...that scared me. Do you have any idea how afraid I was to lose you and I never would of gotten to tell you I loved you back..." Hiccup closed his eyes sadly. "You should of...gone to the hospital! Not walked home...You could of died and we had no idea where you would of been between Bashem or Berk...For Thor's sake the detectives didn't even find the warehouse without you...Never would of found those two guys who told them where to find the others..." Hiccup felt Toothless pull his hand a bit, he looked to see Toothless patting his lap. Hiccup got up and moved onto Toothless's lap and then felt Toothless wrap his arms around him gently.
"Hiccup. There were a lot of should of, could of, and would of's...But it didn't happen that way. Okay? What matters is that I made it home alive, and I'm sitting with you right here and now, also we're together so chill." Toothless chuckled.
"Its not funny, Toothless..." Hiccup sighed.
"I know it scared you, I saw it on your face when you saw the gash when I got home. A lot of things could of happened that night. I could of been to weak to fight back, I could of blacked out and bled out, those guys could of recovered and tracked me down, they could of killed me. But they didn't. I forced myself to stay awake through everything, I waited for my moment to strike, and I got away. I used my sweatshirt to tie off the wound, walked to the bus station, begged to be let on, rode home, then walked home. And I stayed alive. So stop worrying. Its in the past now and it only made me stronger. Now can we stop talking about it and just enjoy the night?" Toothless asked.
"Okay...I'm sorry. I just don't think I can deal with life if you're not in it with me." Hiccup laid his head on Toothless's shoulder.
"Well I'm not going anywhere so relax. You're stuck with me." Toothless smiled as he kissed Hiccup's forehead, "And put the phone away Tyr or I swear it and you are going in the pool..." Toothless warned.
"Oh come on! You two are like cuteness overload!" Tyr frowned.
"Don't care. Only warning, put the phone away. I'd like to be able to love my boyfriend without feeling like I'm on a damn reality show." Toothless rolled his eyes. "And I'm checking that phone in the morning too to make sure you didn't take any while we are sleeping." Toothless added.
"That is so unfair." Tyr pouted.
"That goes for all of you." Toothless closed his eyes.
"I love you." Hiccup said softly to him.
"I love you a lot more beautiful." Toothless whispered back in to his neck, kissing it lightly making Hiccup blush deeply. Toothless stopped when he saw a flash go off. He pulled off Hiccup's neck and looked at the guys, then his eyes trailed to the upstairs window and saw his mother there with the camera. "Gods dang it mother, go to bed and stop spying on us or your camera is going in the pool next." Toothless grumbled.
"Oh for Odin's sake Lilly, let the boy be. Get in bed, right now!" Markus called.
"Thanks dad." Toothless sighed. "I swear after everyone goes to sleep, I'm going to sneak you away so I can love you without being spied on!" He yelled louder as he saw his siblings turn off their bedroom lights, then his parents did the same. "That's better." Toothless chuckled as Hiccup blushed deeply he checked his phone and saw it was nearing 10:30, he got up and put Hiccup in his chair before flipping off the music and started covering the food, then he brought it to the garage fridge before returning to his seat where Hiccup sat back down on his lap to cuddle.
"Gotta say these sleep overs you guys have every Friday are awesome." Tuffnut said.
"Right, we're usually in the basement gaming or watching movies." Fishlegs replied.
"So I take it, Hiccup and Toothless stay up the latest?" Dagur asked.
"Only because they talk for a while before passing out on the couch together. I got pictures if you wanna see..." Tyr began. Toothless reached over and snatched it from him. "HEY!"
"We don't need to see what they look like on the couch." Eret said quickly.
"Its just us laying there. We're not nude or anything..." Hiccup yawned tiredly.
"And that's way more information that we need cuz. Whatever you and your boy–..." Snotlout started.
"Gonna stop you there and clarify this now...Hayden and I have never done ANYTHING sexually related. Seriously, even alone we make out, game, watch a movie or two, talk, cuddle, then go to sleep. So just get that out of your heads right now." Toothless stated with a firm tone. "I have no idea why all of you think we've done something." Toothless rolled his eyes.
"Because the way Hiccup reacts to you, he just melts into so we thought you get him going good." Tuffnut said, Hiccup blushed and hid his face against Toothless who only smacked his forehead.
"Eh, won't lie. Hiccup's pretty easy to fire up but we've still never done anything." Toothless shrugged afterwards. "And before you ask, cold showers are a godsend." Toothless said.
"Toothless!" Hiccup practically squealed in embarrassment.
"Oh relax. You aren't the only guy in this circle whose gotten hard and taken a cold shower, myself included." Toothless smiled.
"He's got a point. We've all done it, Hiccup so calm down. What is said in the fire circle, stays here." Tyr shrugged now.
"Still not something I want getting out...Wait a second, you too baby?" Hiccup blinked.
"Well duh, I'm a male too silly. You know after those really heated make out sessions when I tell you its really hot and gonna take a shower so I'm not sweating constantly?" Hiccup nodded. "I lied. Cold showers work wonders on calming yourself down when you're turned on." Toothless smiled.
"Well there are other ways too..." Tuffnut started.
"We don't need to know what you do when you're turned on!" The group shouted at him.
"Wasn't talkin bout me. My sister is loud and half the time I can't tell if she's got a guy over or she's using her toys." Tuffnut stated.
"And I will never be able to look at your sister the same way again." Snotlout added.
"Alright, this conversation as seriously derailed. I'm going swimming, any of you joining me?" Toothless asked.
"Its 10:50 at night...Isn't it dangerous to swim at night?" Eret asked.
"Only if you're going alone and right now I've got 7 other people here who can see me if I happen to start drowning. Swimming at night is amazing, never done it?" Toothless asked as he got up and pulled off his shirt. "Water feels like its 85 degrees, its like a hot tub without the jets." Toothless grabbed his towel off the line and started in at the shallower end, relaxing as he did. He dunked under and leaned against the side of the pool. Hiccup smiled now as he got up and took his shirt off, he slowly made his way in to the water near Toothless.
"Man you weren't kidding, its so warm at night." Hiccup leaned against him.
"Because the water itself isn't warm. Its about 68 degrees right now, it's the fact that the cool summer night and the cold water make it feel warm. To positives equal a negative. Your body cold, and the water cold make it warm. If you pain any intention in science you'd know that." Toothless chuckled wrapping his arms around Hiccup's frame and kissed along his neck. Hiccup shuddered at the feeling but relaxed, he loved Toothless so why by shy about it.
"Well I got work at 9 so I'm going to bed." Dagur stated.
"I got work at 7...Night guys." Snotlout added.
"Well since someone isn't gonna let me take pictures, I'm going to bed too." Tyr stuck his tongue out.
"And if I find any, your phone is gonna be a pool toy." Toothless called to him before going back to kissing Hiccup's neck.
"I'm taking Heather on a date for lunch so I best be getting some sleep too." Fishlegs yawned.
"And my mom is picking me up at 7 when she comes through for work so I guess I better get some sleep too." Eret stretched.
"And I'm bored. Night." Tuffnut entered the tent. When Toothless heard it zip shut he turned Hiccup so their faces were facing one another before Toothless kissed him deeply.
"That was incredibly devious baby." Hiccup said between kisses.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Toothless grinned capturing his lips again.
"You purposely came swimming knowing I'd follow and they'd take the hint about you wanting time alone with me." Hiccup bit his lip when Toothless's lips fell on his neck again.
"Are you complaining?" Toothless asked gently.
"Not at all. But if you didn't want them here all night then why allow a sleep over?" Hiccup asked.
"I didn't know my mom was planning to offer one. I originally planned to just have you over tonight...But I didn't wanna be rude and shoot them down so I found another way. I knew they wouldn't want to watch me make out with you and they'd make up excuses for needing to go to bed." Toothless chuckled.
"You're so bad." Hiccup sighed relaxing against his boyfriend's chest.
"And you love it." Toothless said in a seductive voice.
"Oh Gods do I ever..." Hiccup closed his eyes as they kissed again, and started another make out session for close to 45 minutes in the pool before getting out and continuing it on one of their towels that was laid in the grass. Around 12:30am, they were dry, and stayed laying together in the grass using a blanket from the house to cover up with. They stared up at the stars until they fell asleep. Hiccup laying on Toothless's left side, his head on Toothless's chest and an arm over his mid section. Toothless had his left arm over Hiccup's shoulders and his head laying on his right arm as a pillow. It had literally been the best night of his life, and a birthday he'd never forget.