All right, I suppose Cordelia's tale isn't all that interesting to some of you, seeing the lack of views and comments on the last chapter. However, I promise you it isn't going to turn into the Cordelia/Rhys story...MerDer will always be the main couple! I just have these ideas in my head, and I need to work out the rest of the arc for them. So bear with me, and hopefully you might enjoy some of it anyway! Or at least tolerate it, until we're back to regularly scheduled MerDer passion.
(And there's some of that in this chapter too!)

Chapter 34
I Will Carry You in my Heart

The children were tucked into bed at last, and Meredith went to check in on Cordelia before re-joining Derek. "Are you doing all right?" she asked, finding the younger woman sitting up, rocking the baby by the fireplace.

"All right, I suppose," Cordelia replied, smiling a little. "I appreciate that His Grace is willing to look for Rhys; I did not expect that."

Meredith stepped into the room. "He is that sort of gentleman that doesn't like to see anyone in distress. Especially women and children."

"Then I am grateful. I will owe you both so much," Cordelia sighed. "And you are expecting your own baby, and here I am, adding to your burden."

"You aren't a burden." Meredith touched the cradle, where Rebecca was sleeping peacefully. "And we have plenty of baby clothes that you can have for her until we get this sorted out. It helps that we had twin girls, plenty of pretty things to go around." She squeezed Cordelia's shoulder. "Is everything here to your liking? Do you need anything else?"

"My goodness, yes. Everything is perfect, my lady." Her gaze swept around the spacious suite, noting the mullioned windows hung with soft rose damask curtains shut against the night, the tapers lit on the mantel casting reassuring light, and the canopied bed covered with rose colored bedding. Soft rugs covered the floors, and the oak boards beneath them gleamed in the firelight. "Whitely Manor is rather in need of upkeep, and refurbishment, I'm afraid. This is so cozy."

"I'm glad you are comfortable."

"More than comfortable. Now I'm sure you want to spend time with your husband before he leaves tomorrow, you do not need to sit with me."

"All right, then. We will have plenty of time to talk once he has gone to London. Sleep well, my dear."

"You as well, my lady."

In their bedchamber, Meredith found Derek waiting for her by the fireplace, a glass of brandy in his hand. She took a moment to appreciate the luxurious surrounding that she sometimes took for granted after the last few years. Just as in Cordelia's suite, the fireplace glowed warmly, and candles flickered along the mantel place. The vase with Michael's daffodils was on the low table in front of the windows, adding a cheery note of spring to the room.

"Everything all right?" Derek asked, watching her look around the room.

"Oh, yes...I'm just appreciating how good our life is," she smiled, crossing the room. "It would seem that Rhys' family home is in need of upkeep, according to Cordelia."

Derek took her hand and pulled her into his lap. "So, he does need some money for the manor. He may have felt it necessary to gamble to regain some lost fortunes; never a good idea, if I may say so." He took her hand, and twined his fingers with hers. "However, I do not wish to discuss the financial problems of Huntington...or what women he might be chasing..."

"No, we shouldn't waste this time together," she agreed.

He lifted her hand and kissed it gently. "And what do you suggest instead?"

"Just make love to me, Derek, that's all I need."

"That I can do, my love." He let go of her hand, and moved on to the fastenings of her gown, opening the bodice and pushing it down her shoulders, before helping her to feet. The silk gown slithered to the floor, followed quickly by the rest of her undergarments, leaving the full splendor of her creamy skin exposed for him. His fingers trailed along her hips, followed the swell of her belly, then grazed her breasts.

She reached for the pearls at her throat, but he covered her hands. "Leave them," he told her, "but take your hair down…slowly…"

Meredith nodded, reaching up to pull one pin from the arrangement Rose had done her hair in. One tendril came free, cascading down her shoulder to graze the creamy fullness of one breast. "Keep going…" Derek murmured, admiring the tantalizing vision.

"Yes, my lord…" Meredith freed another pin, and another, letting the mass of hair loose, just begging for his hands to tangle in it. The tendrils curved along her breasts, over her nipples, already hard and waiting for his mouth, his teeth, his fingers…

His body tightened, as she stepped closer to him. "Your turn, my rogue…" She twined her fingers in his cravat and pulled it from his neck, and then moved to the buttons on his shirt. One by one, until the fine linen was opened, and she pushed it off his shoulders. As she reached for the opening of his trousers, her breasts rubbed against his bare chest, sending desire arcing through him. She gazed up at him sweetly, releasing his hard length into her hand.

"You are excited…" she murmured, her voice innocence and arousal combined.

"You have me this way all the time," he growled and pulled her against him. He took her mouth gently, his tongue finding hers almost languidly, as though he weren't about ready to climax in her hand. Her own mouth responded more hungrily, while she stroked him harder, making him want to forget everything else but driving into her. He could come in mere seconds, lost in the heat of her body, but he made himself slow down. His hands caressed the lush curves of her body, cupping the roundness of her derriere.

"Derek…" She let her head fall back, and he kissed the curve of her throat, gradually making his way to the hollow just beneath her ear. His tongue teased her, and she shuddered, grasping his hips. His hands moved upwards, cupping her breasts, and she moaned softly. She tried to arch backwards, and his mouth tracked lower, touching his tongue to her hard nipple. "Oh, you're driving me mad," she whispered. "Just take me…"

"We have all night, my love…" he reminded her wickedly, before rolling the nipple with his tongue, and then sucking it lightly into his mouth. As his mouth toyed with her nipple, one hand dipped between her legs. Liquid pleasure surged in her, and she spread her legs, letting him find the spot that made her shake.

Before she was aware of moving, he eased her onto the bed, and his mouth and his hands were everywhere. Her eyes closed as he kissed her tender breasts, circling the aching tips with his tongue, concentrating the sensation there until she cried out in bliss. Moving lower, spreading her legs wider, he kissed her there, tasting her, loving the way she moved with him. Her breath came fast and hard, as she surrendered to the climax that took over, her hands clutching at the soft bedding on either side of her.

"I want you…Derek…I want you inside of me…" she pleaded, as he lifted his head. He gave her that lazy, seductive smile that added fuel to her desire.

"Right now?" he teased her, slipping one finger into her wetness instead.

"Yes, now…" she panted, beckoning him towards her.

For a few more moments, he ignored her pleas, toying with her as she twisted and lifted her hips without conscious thought. "But you are enjoying this, aren't you my love…?" he asked, his voice smooth and sinful, before he kissed her belly again. Her core clenched around his fingers, and she could only moan in pleasure.

Just as she thought she could take no more, his fingers slipped away from her, and he rolled onto his back. "So you can have your way with me now, my lady…" he murmured, and she lifted up on one elbow beside him. She leaned over him, her hair falling around them, slanting her mouth over his. As always, he tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer, kissing with deliberate, erotic need. One of her hands wrapped around his erection, and he nearly came undone. He wanted to plunge into her just as much as she wanted him inside of her.

This time she toyed with him, stroking the hot velvet length of him, while he kissed her harder. His hips bucked, as her fingers retreated and then stroked, taking him to the brink of climax. "Now…" she whispered, moving over him slowly, bringing him against her damp folds.

"Yes, now…" he urged, as she guided him into her, feeling her tremble. "I want to be part of you like this, always…" His eyes were gleaming with love, bright as bits of blue sky, as he met her gaze. He was deeply engulfed in her, and they held still for a moment, absorbing the sensation, savoring the connection. Her inner core twitched involuntarily, and he groaned. "Now you are driving me mad, Meredith…"

She leaned over him, her breasts against him, and her mouth meeting his again. Her body moved with his, in a slow dance of give and take as he supported her over him.

"I want to see you…" he muttered at last, and she lifted her head. "Come for me, I want to see you, feel you climax…" Her eyes closed as the pleasure took over, and her wet heat pulsed around him as if she couldn't get enough. She shuddered, and whimpered, squeezing him tighter until he drove up into her harder. His own climax whipped through him then, intense and sharp, as they rocked together.

Meredith fell against him again, this time kissing hungrily, devouring him in the aftermath of the rapture. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly, both of them too sated to do anything else.

"I will miss you so…" she sighed at last, when they lay spooned together, his hand at her belly, his face against her hair.

"I will miss you as well, but I will be home as soon as I can. Never fear, I will carry you in my heart always."

The sting of tears made Meredith blink, and she took his hand and brought it to her lips. "You always have a way with words, my rogue…" she half-laughed.

"And you love me for it," he teased, knowing it would make her smile.

"Arrogant lord…" she sighed, her eyes closing, "…and I do love you…"

"Good night, Meredith. I love you..." His breath feathered her cheek as she drifted into sleep, safe in his arms.

After Derek arrived In London, he stopped at their townhouse first to drop off his bags, and freshen up after the long journey. It was late in the afternoon, just in time for heading to the club for a drink and to gather some information. He sent one of the footmen over to the Sloan residence with a note for Marcus, asking him to join him if possible.

Once he was ensconced in the plush surroundings of The Wyndham Club, a glass of whiskey in the heavy crystal tumbler at his elbow and the evening paper in his lap, he looked around to see who else was in attendance. He nodded at several acquaintances, as he waited for Marcus to arrive. Some of them might know about Rhys' whereabouts, he would need to ask some discreet questions later, after dinner was over.

He spotted Marcus strolling towards him then, and lifted his hand in greeting.

"Derek, I wasn't expecting you here," Marcus grinned, dropping into the chair opposite him. "What brings you to the city? I expected you to keep to Gracewood until after Meredith gives birth."

Derek frowned, setting aside the newspaper. "Unfortunately, we have an unexpected guest." He relayed the information about Cordelia and her fears about Rhys, while Marcus listened closely, his eyes thoughtful.

"Interesting. I can say, as a reformed degenerate myself, there are several places he could be. We can make a circuit of them, and make inquiries. Since I married Isobel, I haven't been tempted, but he could have fallen in with old friends or evil companions."

"Including those of the female persuasion?"

"Especially those," Marcus agreed. "Isobel would hang me if I ever considered falling into my old ways, but I have no desire to."

"Our wives think the same. Meredith threatened me with castration if I should ever consider a mistress," Derek grinned. "I also have no desire for anyone but her, so the point is moot. However, Huntington might not be as happily married. Another thing is that he needs money, so gambling might be a bigger priority."

"We could try the Jockey Club; he might be there, trying to get some tips on the horses."

"Good idea."

Marcus waved the head waiter over to order a drink, and they discussed the menu choices as well. It would likely prove to be a late night, looking for Rhys, and dinner was definitely needed. For a while, they put aside the speculation about Rhys, discussing their own families and the upcoming season at the race track.

Meredith looked pensively out the windows in the library, wondering how Derek was doing in London. She had been keeping busy in the time since he left, playing with the children, and sitting with Cordelia, trying to bring the young woman out of her emotional shell. But her thoughts always lingered on Derek, thinking of the last kiss they shared in the misty morning air before he had to pull away to enter the carriage for the journey. It was silly, she mused, but she felt just as bereft as the first time he'd had to leave for London without her.

There was the sound of footsteps behind her, and a rustle of skirts, and she turned to see Cordelia approaching. "Hello, Cordelia, how are you doing?"

"Fine, my lady, just restless."

"I would suggest a walk, but it looks a little like rain," Meredith said, glancing out the windows again.

"Oh, you should not get a chill," Cordelia agreed. "Perhaps I just need a book, something to occupy my mind."

"By all means, help yourself. Would you like some tea?" Dinner had been over for awhile, and the children were all tucked in, as was Rebecca. "We could sit and discuss books, if you like."

Cordelia wandered along the shelves, trailing her fingertips over the leather bound volumes. "That sounds lovely, my lady."

"Please, just call me Meredith. We don't need to be so formal here at home," Meredith smiled, as she called for one of the maids to bring tea. She settled into the wing chair, watching Cordelia pace the length of the bookshelves. "Would you like to send a letter to your family to let them know where you are?"

"Not just yet. Is it wrong to hide for a little while?" Cordelia asked, abandoning her search for books, and taking the chair across from Meredith. She tucked her feet up under her skirts, and folded her hands on her lap. She looked better than she had when she arrived, thanks to the efforts of her maid. Meredith was reminded again of just how young Cordelia was.

"Not so wrong, sometimes it helps to distance yourself from things to get a perspective. I certainly escaped from a situation myself once."

"Did it help?"

"Oh yes, it certainly did." Meredith smiled at the memory of taking the governess job here and the events that followed. "It helps if you wish to talk about it, as well, you know. I certainly won't judge you."

Cordelia clasped her hands together, looking at Meredith. The always serene Duchess of Gracewood appeared to have led a perfect life, with the gorgeous Duke that loved her so openly, and the adorable children and the ease that she had with the Queen at court – it was difficult to believe that she would be able to empathize. Of course, Meredith had been so helpful and sympathetic at court, which was why coming here had seemed like the best option.

"You have had similar experiences?"

"Not exactly, but I was involved with someone before I met Derek. Someone who took advantage of my innocence."

"I thought I could live with Rhys, and be happy. I tried to make him happy, and I thought it was going well. When I wrote to you, I may have exaggerated the circumstances just a little, but at Whitely Manor, he was a different man – relaxed, hard-working, intent on restoring the family fortune. Still, after awhile, when he drank too much, he would get restless. Restless and irritable. I learned to avoid him if I could, letting him work out his moods alone."

The maid arrived with the tea tray then, and Meredith asked her to leave it on the table. She would handle the pouring, and let Cordelia keep talking. "Here, tea always helps," she murmured, handing it over.

"Thank you." For a second, Cordelia didn't speak again, inhaling the fragrant tea. "I had hoped once the baby was born, he would calm down again. He was thrilled with her, but he still had black moods. Shortly before we left for London, we had a terrible quarrel; I don't even remember what it was about. We were in the dining room, alone, his mother had gone to bed and Rowena was who knows where. When I tried to leave the room, he grabbed my wrists and wouldn't let go. I kept twisting away, and he just pushed me back against the door frame." Her voice trembled, and she paused again, taking a sip of tea.

Meredith had a bad feeling of where this was headed, but she kept quiet, letting Cordelia compose herself again.

"I was so frightened, when he let go of my wrists and I was ready to scream for help. But he kissed me, pulling my skirts up…and I thought he was going to force me right there…groping at me like a common trollop..." She took a shuddering breath. "But he stopped, letting me go so suddenly my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. He knelt down in front of me, and begged me to forgive him, and promised he would never hurt me again…"

"What did you say?"

"What could I say, my lady...Meredith…? He is my husband, the father of our child, after all…"

"I understand. Did you tell Rowena, or his mother?"

Cordelia shook her head. "No. I put it behind me, and then he suggested the trip to London, and well…I told you the rest…"

"Do you love him? Would you go home with him if he wanted you to?"

"I don't know. It was not a marriage of love, you are aware of that. Not what you have," Cordelia said wistfully. "I think he wanted to have what you and His Grace have, but he doesn't know how to go about it, and honestly, neither do I. However, we are married, for better or worse…"

"There are ways to sever that," Meredith pointed out. "Not easily, however…divorce is frowned upon."

"What if he can't be found?"

Meredith sighed. "We will have to wait and see what Derek can discover, I suppose. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through; if I had any idea it would be so bad, I would have tried harder to convince Her Majesty to just let you return home. Helping you now is the least I can do."

"You have done so much already. Thank you for listening." Cordelia set aside the teacup and stood, shaking out her skirts. "Now I should get back to Rebecca, and get some rest. Shall I walk with you up the stairs?"

"Yes, I believe I need some sleep as well." Meredith smiled, taking Cordelia's hand to stand up. "Don't worry, Cordelia. Everything will work out, I'm sure of it."

Derek and Marcus circled the relatively sparse surroundings of the Jockey Club. They had not found anyone at their own club that remembered seeing Rhys in the past week, and they weren't doing much better here. Finally, just as they were about to leave, they found someone that recalled something.

"Huntington? He was here, but not for long." The man, with sandy hair and green eyes, was seated at a table, playing cards with a few other patrons. "This isn't his usual haunt; he prefers to gamble at the Kensington Tavern. A little too refined here for his taste, I suppose, so that isn't saying much."

"Do you remember who he was talking to?" Derek asked.

"Why, what's he done? Does he owe you money?"

Derek held out his hand. "Derek Shepherd, Duke of Gracewood. And no, he does not owe me money. He's missing. His young wife is rather distraught."

"Thomas Hunter." The other man stood and shook Derek's hand. "It's an honor to meet you, sir. I've heard much about your stables, and the success you had in breeding your stallions with the royal mares."

Derek nodded. "Thank you. About Rhys?"

"Huntington seemed rather anxious to find out information about the upcoming races at Newmarket. I think he wanted to place a large wager or two, from what I could understand."

"I see." Derek exchanged a glance with Marcus. "Did you speak with him?"

"No, sir. I am but a mere groom, without connection to the racetrack. And currently looking for work, if you know of anyone needing my services, Your Grace."

"You have references, I take it?"

"Indeed. My last employer died unexpectedly, and his widow sold the horses and no longer required my services. The Marques of Essex, you may know of him?"

"Yes, it was a hunting accident, I believe, that took his life," Marcus spoke up. "I heard that his widow left the country."

"Italy, sir."

"Well, as it is I need a groom, but this isn't the time for that discussion," Derek said. "I will be in London for awhile yet, can I find you here again?"

"Absolutely, my lord. I will give you a list of references the next time we meet, as well." Thomas bowed shortly, trying to contain his excitement over the prospect of working for Derek.

"Excellent. We're off to Kensington Tavern then."

"A word, Your Grace. It can be a dangerous place – watch your back."

"I intend to."