BPOV
"You know I will," I say with absolute certainty.
Was there ever any doubt? I meant it when I said I'd follow him anywhere.
He backs up and with a gentlemanly gesture motions for me to go first. The wild horse in me wants to gallop up the ladder like it's Belmont but I take my time and behind me I hear the delicate puffs of Edward's breath as he follows my every step.
We reach the top and as soon as I'm standing upright I'm transported back in time to a place as familiar as the womb. Goosebumps flood my skin and I rub my palms up and down my arms to warm them. Edward's hands come from behind and take over the rubbing motion. They're finely calloused and I lean back into his chest to let his body heat wash over me. It's dark up here but I can still see everything clearly.
Because nothing has changed.
The loft remains exactly as it did that first summer. Edward hadn't taken anything with him. His books and old photos haven't moved. Even his clothesline and his favorite blue flannel shirt hang in the corner untouched.
"I thought you moved out?" I ask hesitantly.
"Mmhmm I did," he hums, continuing to rock me in his arms, his chin resting on the top of my head. "I moved myself out, but I left everything else behind. I had to start over. There's nothing in my cabin that reminds me of you."
It's an unexpected jab but I don't let it knock me down. I turn to him and find the very soulful center of his eyes looking back at me. They're filled with vulnerability and a hint of fear and I swear to my mother in heaven that I will do whatever it takes to win back this man's trust.
"I understand," I whisper, reassuring him with a half smile.
"I didn't say that to hurt you, Bella."
"I know you didn't," I reply with one hundred percent honesty and before I realize what I've done I've latched onto him, hugging him with all my might, tugging and pulling at his clothes until he's hugging me back just as tightly.
"Please forgive me," I mumble into the fine material of his suit jacket. "Please, please..."
"There's nothing to forgive, sweet girl."
"How can you say that? After what I've done how can you say that to me?"
For the third time tonight I'm wondering if Edward has heard me. His intense gaze remains fixed on my face and that precious crease that forms between his brows when he's pondering something has appeared. Then he begins to move in closer and I know what's next. We've done this before yet this time feels more real than the very first. Before I know it his lips have found mine and they're soft and full of the same wild desire that courses through my veins.
He sighs a contended sigh through his nostrils as he threads his fingers through my long waves and the last tether holding my sanity together snaps. Lust takes over and I can't let him lead, I just can't. I need more.
I suck his plump bottom lip into my mouth and moan loudly at the salty-sweet taste of his saliva. My hands are all over him, sliding up and down the broad expanse of his back all the way down to his firm ass. I drag my nails through his hair to his shoulders and pull him roughly to my height. He stays in control, though, even as I plunge my tongue deep into his mouth he opens gladly with a throaty laugh and grasps my waist with both hands.
"Stupid stupid, I'm so stupid" I mumble between kisses. I palm his face, trace his eyebrows and cheekbones with my fingertips, all the while my lips never leaving his. I open my eyes to find his are closed and I start laughing with joy. "My God, I can't believe this. Thank you thank you thank you, Edward, thank you."
"Easy, Bella, easy. I'm not going anywhere."
"How do I know? How do I know this isn't all a dream?"
He swipes the pad of his thumb across my heated cheek and leans in again, ghosting his lips over mine. "You'll just have to trust me."
Edward's worn pallet is still in the same spot on the floor covered with the same blankets with the same geometric patterns with the same pillows with the same threadbare pillow covers. It's been made like it's never been slept in but I know. I know what's happened here. And I want it to happen again tonight.
"Take me there," I say, leading Edward to the end of the room to the mattress under the window. He picks up on my obvious double meaning and allows himself to be led to the edge of his bed.
"There's a light," he says, pointing to a small dust-covered lantern in the corner. "The flame will be dull but I'm sure it still works. I used to use it all the time."
"Yes, that will be fine," I answer politely, suddenly hyper-aware of where I am and who I'm with. My mind can't help but wander to the past; to the endless nights Edward no doubt spent alone here. Nights when I could have and should been with him, laying next to him skin on skin and playing with his hair while he read Great Expectations out loud by the low light of the lantern.
The unqualified truth is, that when I loved Estella with the love of a man, I loved her simply because I found her irresistible. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. Once for all; I loved her nonetheless because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection.
Edward notices the slight change in my demeanor and puts the lantern down after quickly lighting it with a match. "Hey, are you ok?" he asks with concern. "Do you want to go back to the party?"
I perk up immediately and reach for him. "No! NO not at all, I want to be here. I really, really do, but maybe that's the problem."
"What is?"
"That I still love you," I confess. It feels so right to finally admit the truth. He deserves to hear it and selfishly I am lighter having said the words.
"Oh Edward. I feel it…so strongly… right here." I take his index finger and press it into my breastbone. "Like it never left. Like the first day I saw you. It's still here. I love you."
EPOV
Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.
Suffering has taught me one thing. That there's only this girl - this one only - with her power to wound me and heal me with a word. It has taught me that I'll never be the man able to turn her out of my life for good. And why should I? She loves me.
I take her slender wrist in my hand and bring it to my lips, pressing ever so softly against her thrumming pulse. "Now I'm the fool."
"Never," she whispers but I persist.
"I should have gone back. I should have fought for you. Instead I stayed here sulking, believing you didn't love me anymore."
"It kills me that you thought that."
"Perhaps we both didn't trust that our relationship was strong enough." I give her a light laugh, not wanting the moment to turn bleak and sad. Luckily, Bella has other things in mind.
"Take this off," she says, slipping a finger under my lapel.
I shrug out of my blazer and drape it over the back of the only chair in the room.
"Lay with me." She bites eagerly on the corner of her lip as she undoes the top clasp of my trousers.
"Not gonna lie," I say, eyeing the skintight leather pants she's rocking. The way they hug and define her shapely ass has been giving me a raging hard-on all night.
"I have no idea how to get you out of those things without shredding them like a caveman."
Without taking her eyes off mine she pops a button and has them peeled down her legs and kicked off her toes in less than a hot second. Next is her silky blouse, pulled neatly over her head and tossed in the same pile at my feet.
"Now you." She steps forward and loosens my tie, then begins working down the line of buttons on my dress shirt. Once I'm out of my trousers I save us some time and pull the entire shirt and tie combination over my head, standing in front of her in just grey boxer briefs. Her eyes grow wide as they travel down my bare chest and torso to land on the obvious aching bulge below. She wets her lips before putting her arm behind her back. In one deft motion she unsnaps her bra, freeing her supple breasts. Reluctantly she lets the black lace fall from her fingers to the floor.
"I-" she begins to apologize and I put my finger to her lips to silence her.
"Don't you dare," I say, bringing her into my arms and kissing her forehead. "You're perfect."
I move us to the bed, pulling back the woolen blankets and easing her down. I can't help but stare for a moment at her laying there spread for me in nothing but a black thong. Kneeling in front of her I hook my thumbs under the thin strings and pull the piece of material down her legs. She's completely exposed to me now and a shiver races through her.
"Are you cold?" I ask, not waiting for an answer. "You won't be for long." I strip out of my underwear and join her in the nude. Her legs part and I slide my body in between the room they've created for me. She cages me inside, locking her ankles together and tightening her thighs around my waist. It's all I can do to keep from burying my face in her tits and slamming into her over and over and over until we find our release.
Instead I shift to the side, resting my weight on my elbow and letting my cock bob gently on her hip.
"Beautiful Bella," I whisper as if in prayer. "All this time." I trace the backs of my fingers across her ribs.
"Don't stop," she begs, arching underneath me. My breath is shaky and ragged as I drag my lips up her neck to growl in her ear while cupping and kneading the underside of her breasts.
"Edward," she moans, her eyes tightly closed. "Please. There's no one else." The desperation in her voice sets a fire in my belly and I want to know what she means.
"No one else? Oh God Bella. Am I still the only one?" To think that I'm the only person she's been with is such a manic turn on and I begin rhythmically grinding my hardness into her thigh, rocking our hips together to bring the friction inches from her bare pussy.
"Yes," she pants, beads of sweat forming on her forehead and chest. "No one but you. Please. I can't wait anymore."
My fingers tease their way down her stomach to the juncture of her arousal and are met with creamy moisture. I dip a finger inside and she cries out and clenches to hold me in place. No one else has been there. The fact makes me giddy. I slide my finger out and place it directly on my tongue to taste her salty tang.
"Oh God," she moans, watching me hungrily.
"No one else has tasted you either," I announce proudly because I'm positive it's true. "Maybe I am the luckiest man after all."
She writhes against the mattress, her chest heaving, her brown eyes glassy with want. She's so ready that I could get her off with just the vibrations of my voice. I drop my forehead to hers and kiss her trembling lips sweetly to let her know that it's going to happen now. She breaths yes across my face and I push in.
Time stands still. The ringing in my ears lasts for only a moment as the initial overwhelming sensation and tightness of entering her subsides and I'm able to ease into a steady rhythm. She's with my every thrust, her eyes alive and eager to please me just as much as I need to please her. Her cries grow louder with each stroke, deeper and deeper as I push and pull us toward the edge. Her legs tighten around my waist and a bead of sweat drips off the end of my nose to land in the hollow of her collarbone.
Adrenaline rockets through me with animalistic aggression and I want to throw her legs over my shoulders and ram into her mercilessly. I want to leave marks on her, but this is reunion sex. We're reclaiming our first time and I have to be in control.
"Fuck, Bella, I won't last much longer," I admit, my heart pounding in my throat. I've never come this quickly but the truth is I haven't been with a woman since Bella and jerking off is nowhere near as intense as the feeling of having her body underneath, both of us moving as one.
I take her hand in mine and trail down her abdomen to the slick spot where we're joined together so she can feel with her fingers just how hard I am, just how much I want her, how much we want each other.
Pulling out to the tip I let her run her fingers up my shaft. Just that small sensation is enough to make me come.
"Edward, that's...you're incredible...oh God..." She presses her breasts up against my chest and with one loud cry I feel the spasms of her orgasm tighten around my cock. She shudders and exhales and falls back to the mattress with a satisfied moan.
BPOV
Still fogged and stupefied from that mind-blowing orgasm I grip Edward's forearms and pull myself up to press a gratified kiss against his swollen lips. My sensitive nipples graze his chests hairs and I can't help but laugh against his mouth; laughter that elicits a low moan from Edward as my stomach muscles tighten. He's still inside me slowly thrusting in and out sending delicious aftershocks through me. He hasn't come yet and I know it's because he was trying to hold out.
Running my hands down his smooth sides I grab his ass and push him in deep, holding him there. His eyes widen and his mouth falls open with a glorious moan.
"Bella-I-unnngh"
"Come for me Edward. Come inside me. Don't wait."
Filthy expletives fall from his beautiful mouth. His climax rips through him and he collapses on top of me burying his head in the crook of my neck and gasping for breath. I run my fingers through his damp hair and follow the beads of sweat as they roll between the planes of his shoulder blades. I take a deep breath to inhale the pungent scent of his manhood and the mingled fluids now cooling between our bodies.
"Stay here with me tonight," I whisper in his seashell ear.
Lifting his head he nods yes and replies, "I love you. I have loved you since I first saw you in this house."
A/N: "Great Expectations" quotes, including the very last line of this chapter, belong to Charles Dickens.