Ready for River in labour?

If you say so...

"A girl and a boy!" the midwife cooed, beaming over the top of the file. "You're very lucky. Now, how are your contractions?"

"They're not too bad yet, I don't think."

"Well, you still have a while to go. Just sit tight. I'm sure your husband will take good care of you. Give me a buzz if you need anything; I'll be in to check on you every few minutes, see how you're progressing, ok?"

She could only nod, watching the midwife leave the room. She supposed this was how dogs felt watching their owners walk away at the kennels.

"How're you doing?" the Doctor asked, tucking her hair behind her ears.

She sighed, puffing out her cheeks. "I can't believe this is happening now."

He grinned nervously. "It's exciting, isn't it?"

"Yeah… and just a bit, a tiny bit, terrifying too. I need a glass of wine," she remarked pensively.

"Hah. That's probably not the best idea. But hey, you'll be able to have wine again after today! That's good, isn't it?"

She shook her head. "I can't have alcohol while I'm breastfeeding."

"Oh. Well, you'll be able to have wine again in a few months."

"Maybe I could have the odd glass. I think that's allowed. This would be so much more fun if I was drunk."

"You've got the gas and air. I believe it has a similar effect."

"I need to tie my hair back; it's getting on my nerves. Could you do it?"

"Ok, um… I don't have a tie."

"Just- find something."

"Right…" Finding only one item that seemed to fit the bill, he unfastened his bow tie and whipped it from around his neck. "This should do it." He gently scraped her curls behind her ears, tying them up neatly.

"I can't do this!" she wailed, pressing her palms to her eyes. "It's been nineteen hours, Doctor, it hurts so much!"

He rubbed her back soothingly, feeling utterly helpless. "It's ok, River, this is all perfectly normal-"

Her hands fell away from her face, and she glared at him so intensely he thought he might spontaneously combust. "When you have two whole people who won't get out of YOU, sweetie, you can tell me what NORMAL is," she growled.

Her anger only lasted for half a second longer. He blinked in surprise when her façade abruptly fell away and she collapsed against him, sobbing heavily into his chest.

He sort of wished she'd kept on screaming at him.

"Don't leave me," she mumbled into his shirt.

He wound his fingers through her hair. "You know I won't."

"I don't know what to do!" she cried, her voice muffled. "I'm so tired, and- and I can't-!"

Hearing familiar hysteria building up in her voice, he held her closer. "Shh. It's ok. You're going to be fine, I promise you."

He felt as if he'd said that too much today, but knew that there wasn't much else he could do.

"I thought it would be easier than this. I thought I'd be- calm! I was going to be calm, everything's ruined…"

Oh, the joys of gas and air. He had never seen the full effect before, and it would have been amusing had the sound of his wife's crying not been breaking his hearts. "Everything's not ruined, honey. You haven't got long to go; and then you'll forget all about this bit. You'll see."

She pulled back to look up at him beseechingly. Her eyes were red and swollen, standing out garishly from the rest of her ashen, tear-streaked skin. "I just want our babies!"

"They'll be here soon, River. And you'll be able to see them, and hold them, and spend every single day of the rest of your life with them."

Any reassurance he had brought to her diminished as yet another contraction gripped her. He quickly found her hands, not even wincing when she came close to breaking the bones in his fingers.

"How are you doing?"

The midwife's cheery voice startled them as she marched into the room, looking too happy for River's liking.

"Please! Come here! Help me! I must be ready now!" she implored breathlessly.

"How are your contractions?"

"They're getting closer together," the Doctor informed her.

"Right, let's have a look at you. Hold on… ah. Eight centimetres," she declared.

Horror set in on River's face. "What? No!" she wailed, pleading her case through sobs. "Look, I'm ready now, please, please, just let me have them, please, I can't do this anymore!"

The midwife smiled kindly. "Sorry. Not until you're at ten centimetres."

"What difference does two centimetres make?!" she cried incredulously.

She laughed, much to her irritation. "You'll thank me."

River's eyes followed her in an intense glower as she left the room, before her head rolled towards the Doctor. "Do something!"

He frowned bemusedly. "Like what?"

"I don't know! Can't you, like, get down there and- stretch it?"

He looked slightly disturbed. "Um- I don't think that's physically possible."

"Oh, come on! It's only two centimetres!"

"Look, you don't have to wait much longer. I promise."

"I want my mum!" she cried. "I need my mum…"

The Doctor smoothed her curls, now a mass of matted salty frizz due to her tears. "Do you want me to go and get her?"

River nodded, although he had to physically prise her hands away from him. "I'll just be a second, ok? You'll be fine."

She looked so afraid that he wished he could summon his mother-in-law with the power of thought. He never thought he'd be so reluctant to leave her for half a minute.

He ran into the corridor so fast that he almost fell flat on his back. Amy jumped up to catch him. "Whoa! Is everything alright, are the twins here?"

"No," he answered as he ran a hand through his hair, assuming by her expression that he must have looked rather fraught. "River wants you, she's all upset and hurting and scared and, and, and I can't- she needs you," he said in one breath.

"Ok," she soothed, letting him grab her hand. "Doctor, have you been on the gas and air?"

"No, I just- no, I- just-"

"Oi," she barked, spinning him around to face her just before they went back into the room. "Listen, raggedy man, you have got to calm down, ok? Your wife- my daughter- is in there, and she needs you to be cool for once in your life! Now, breathe, get in that room, and you hold her hand until she breaks the bones in your fingers or I swear to god I will stop her from seeing you, and I'm her mother, so I can do that. Got it?"

He swallowed, nodding meekly. Much like her daughter, an angry Amy was really rather persuasive.

"Mum!" River sobbed the second they went back in, holding her arms out towards Amy.

"Hey," she smiled, coming to sit next to her on the bed. River gripped her jacket as if her life depended on it, crying into her chest. "How's it going?"

"I can't!" she wailed dramatically. Amy and the Doctor exchanged pitiful glances over the top of River's head. "I don't want to do it anymore, Mummy, I've changed my mind, can we- do that thing, with the box, that's… blue…"

"Blimey. How much gas and air have you had?" Amy smiled.

"Not enough," River mumbled thickly with a sulky pout.

"You can do this, Melody. I know you can."

"No."

"Yep," Amy assured her. "You'll be fine. I promise."

"You sound like the…" She trailed off with a yell as another contraction came over her. Amy and the Doctor each gripped a hand.

River looked up at her mother. "I'm scared," she whispered.

"You've got nothing to be scared about."

"What if it goes wrong? What if they're conjoined or, they have, two heads, or no eyes, or an extra leg-"

"River, they're going to be perfect," the Doctor assured her. "Just like their mum."

"You don't know that! This is all your fault!" she mumbled half-heartedly.

"Ah, ten centimetres; we're ready!"

River lifted her head off the pillow, staring at the midwife in disbelief. "What?"

She smiled at her. "It's time to have your babies, Professor."

"Oh."

She felt the air begin to whoosh around her. "Hey," the Doctor whispered, kissing the side of her head. "There you go. I said you wouldn't have to wait much longer."

His voice could have been miles away; her hand grew clammy in his. "I've changed my mind. I'm not ready."

The midwife smiled. "Come on now, Professor. You've been telling me all day how much you want this to be over!"

"But- can it be over if I just- skip the next bit?"

"I'm afraid the next bit's compulsory. But you know what the bit after the next bit is; you'll get to say hello to your little boy and girl! Now, are you feeling like you need to push?"

"Yes," she whimpered.

"Good! That's exactly what I want you to do. When the next contraction comes, I want you to give me a big push, ok?"

She nodded, trying to steady her breathing as the midwife helped her to sit up. The Doctor kept his hand on her back as support, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. She gripped his hand as if her life depended on it. "It's ok," he whispered, seeing how much she was shaking. "I'm here."

Next up... you're about to meet two very special people indeed.

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