With one final smile the couple turned and stepped back into their van the Doctor and I headed back to Cheen and Milo
"We'd best be off too" Cheen said looking at Milo "We need to get settled in, do some planning" she said, she hadn't stopped grinning.
"Good idea" I said with a smile "Don't forget, you want a house with a nursery" I said as they stepped into the car, they smiled and waved as they shut the door, I stood beside the Doctor and waved as they drove off. I sighed and the Doctor looked down at me
"What's up?" he asked, I looked up at him quickly and then turned my head back to the car, which was slowly disappearing into the distance
"If ever I was to picture myself in a situation like this... I'd have never thought I'd be the damsel in distress." I said feeling a little disappointed in myself "Still... I also never would have thought my kidnappers would be a nice young couple doing the wrong things for the right reasons"
"If there's one thing I've learned after all this time" The Doctor began as the car finally faded out of sight "Is that no matter how... in control someone might seem... no matter how clever and aware... you can never truly control how things happen. You can change things sometimes... but other times... other times things sneak up on you"
"Like the Time war?" I said looking up at the Doctor whose face dropped instantly "Why did you lie?" I asked him as we began to walk back to the TARDIS.
"Because I liked it, I could pretend for a bit that we had a home to go to, family and friends back there and that they weren't all gone" he looked down at me seeing my face hadn't changed "You're not surprised?" he asked
"I remembered in the car, when I was singing your praises. I remembered what happened... how you saved my life, how we escaped" I paused "how angry I was at you"
"You weren't even supposed to be there" he snapped "You were a doctor! You belonged in the hospital, looking after civilians!"
"There were no civilians left!" I snapped back my eyes beginning to well up "they were all with you... on the front line. That's where I needed to be" We followed an old stairwell down into pharmacy town, where the TARDIS was parked
"You couldn't have saved them all" the Doctor said to me "why is it so hard for you to see that? I was saving YOU, someone needed to stop you!" I stopped dead in the middle of the pharmacy town alleyway where we'd arrived
"Stop me helping people?!" I snapped at him outraged "stop me saving lives?!"
"You weren't saving anyone! For everyone you saved the Daleks killed two more!" he argued back
"So what? I was supposed to just leave them? LET them die?" I shouted "I needed to try! What kind of doctor would I be if I didn't?"
"A dead one!" The Doctor shouted louder than I'd ever heard him shout before. For a while I had nothing to say, I suppose I couldn't blame him for what he did but even so, I could never forgive him for it, even if he did save my life
"How many times have you stuck your neck out for others? For people you don't even know. How many times have you offered yourself up to death so that the innocent wouldn't have to?" I asked
"I learned that from you" He said quietly. "I became the Doctor, because of you. You thought I just chose the name because it sounded good? No." He explained as I stared at him, completely taken aback. "I chose that name because I didn't want to be a soldier, I didn't want to be known for killing. I wanted to be remembered like you, a healer. Someone who doesn't kill anyone, who tries to help everyone even if it means they don't make it out alive" he looked at me sadly "That feeling only got stronger when you died. I felt like I owed it to you, to keep saving the lives I knew you would want me to" He paused expecting me to say something but I couldn't, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I should still be angry or flattered. I didn't even know if what he was saying was relevant. "That day on Gallifrey. The last day on Gallifrey, I swept you up off your feet in the middle of battle. I knew it was wrong, and I knew you'd hate me but what choice did I have? I carried you to the TARDIS, running as fast as I could-"
"I know what happened." I cut him off as a tear slid down my cheek "You carried me to the TARDIS and locked me inside and I cried, I cried so much, more than I ever have."
"Do you remember why?" he asked and I nodded as my crying grew stronger
"Because we were the only ones left" I covered my mouth with my hand which was cold and shaking "everyone was dead... and you just flew away. I stared out into space and watched our home get swallowed up by the war until there was nothing left but us... abandoners." I looked at him as I began to shake even more "Do you know who I was tending when you took me? Who my patient was?" I asked and he shook his head "It was my mother. My real mother. She was telling me how she'd told my dad to run and how I needed to do the same, and I said no. I promised I wouldn't leave her."
"I'm so sorry" the Doctor said, I couldn't believe it. I looked up at him and his eyes were red and puffy, tears streaked down his face and I sighed
"I looked at her as you carried me off, she looked so happy, she smiled and said thank you. I stared at her, right in the eyes and I knew it was what she wanted... it made me feel a tiny bit better I guess, but I hated leaving her..." I sighed and walked over to the TARDIS stopping at the door and touching it gently "That moment defined me. It was the most horrific moment... and I still can't accept what I saw... maybe that's why it was so easy to forget..." I sighed and stepped inside of the TARDIS, the Doctor followed closely
"Lily" he said gently as I sat in a seat near the control panel "I... I'm so sorry... I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I really am"
"You don't need to be sorry" I said with a sigh "You're right... I can't blame you. I'd do the same for you. I needed someone to stop me... besides... it was what my mum wanted... even in the end" I sighed and turned to him, falling into his arms. I didn't cry, I didn't want to. "I only remember so much" I said closing my eyes and breathing in his soft scent "but one day I will remember everything. I just need to know Doctor... how painful will it be?"
"I'm sorry" he said gently "It's going to be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do... but only sometimes." I closed my eyes as my stomach turned, I began to dread the day I'd remember everything. I tried to shake it off
"But... there will be some good memories too?" I asked "it won't all be horrible?"
"Of course there will" he tilted my chin up and looked into my eyes, smiling brightly "Oh Lily the things we've done... the people we've saved, the people YOU'VE saved. Yeah some bits will be hard, but you have so much too look forward to, so many brilliant things to remember and I just can't wait to watch your face light up when you do." He squeezed me a little bit and let me go "but the best part is, in the meantime we can do and be so much more!" I smiled and watched him hurry over to the control panel
"You seem so happy" I said as I watched him
"Of course I am!" he shouted as he disappeared behind the giant tube that ran through the centre of the panel "I don't think you understand exactly what we've just done! What we've already done!"
"I do." I said chasing him around the panel, laughing as he ran from me "We save the world." I said smirking at him from the opposite side of the panel as him
"We save all kinds of worlds!" he said grinning as I began chasing him again. He branched off from the panel and ran through a corridor into the foyer.
"The two super heroes and their little blue box!" I shouted happily as I chased him through the winding corridors of the TARDIS I chased him around a corner and lost him. I stopped in my tracks and looked around "Doctor?" I called out, the next thing I knew I was grabbed from behind and dragged into a room. The door closed and I was spun around to be brought face to face with the Doctor. I thumped him on the shoulder
"You frightened the life out of me!" I said indignantly, the Doctor only laughed
"Maybe if you weren't such a whimp!" he joked and I shoved him playfully
"You're such a wind up merchant!" I said chuckling
"And you're so easy to wind up!" he responded I shook my head and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. I leaned forward slightly which the Doctor wasn't prepared for and we stumbled backwards but instead of coming in contact with a hard floor, we splashed into a cold liquid.
"The pool room?!" I cried as I flailed about in the water helplessly "I can't swim and you dragged me into the pool room?!" the Doctor grabbed me and held me in his arms above the water
"It was the first door I could get to" he said as he helped me up onto the edge of the pool and lifted me out, I pulled my legs out of the pool and onto the tiles looking around properly at the room, it was 90% blue tile.
"How did I not notice this was the pool room?" I asked lying on my back feeling my cold wet clothes sticking to me, it was uncomfortable, but I was pretty tired from the chasing. The Doctor lifted himself out of the pool and flopped down onto the tiles next to me
"I don't know but" he began crawling on his stomach over to me, he flopped down on top of me, grinning mischievously "these wet clothes are really weighing me down" I laughed as I felt him flop his entire weight onto me
"Get off, you giant numpty!" I joked and he only wriggled around making himself even more comfortable
"Nah" he said smugly "I don't think I will!"
"Fine!" I responded "but if I freeze to death it's your fault!" The Doctor propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at me, his long messy hair dripping water onto my forehead.
"What are you thinking?" he asked and I shrugged
"You tell me" I responded
"If you're thinking the same as I am I'm wondering why your dad ran, how he got away and why he'd want to leave his wife." He said curiously, I sighed
"Who knows." I said "I thought you knew what happened?" I asked
"Not that part. It's just strange, I mean, he left behind his daughter and his wife... and to be honest I thought stealing a TARDIS was my fantastic idea" he got up off me and sat beside me
"Well apparently not... though I see what you mean, it is strange. Though I also can't help feeling we're being a little... disrespectful." I pondered for a while; the Doctor had a very valid point, as out of character as it was for my dad, he did run and he did leave my mum and I. "Still" I continued "It's a bit too late for this conversation... I doubt we'll ever know why he did it now"
"That's not entirely true... he must've came here in something." The Doctor responded
"That's true" I said thinking more deeply about it. I sighed and stood up "I'm freezing, I need to go shower and change but I do want to discuss this. Maybe if we can find his ship we can find out why he ran."
"Well I'll be here" he said, his expression darkened by thought
"Aren't you going to change?" I asked "You must be freezing"
"I'm alright" he said kissing my forehead. "You go."