Titania and The Hunter

Chapter 36: The World's a Stage and it's Currently Burning

########Hunter########

Lucy was walking past the edge of Magnolia Town and into the forest and the hill that surrounded it. Lucy noticed that they were losing sight of the concrete and were moving in more to the surrounding greenery. The blonde noted to her traveling group, "Naruto really lives out here away from town?"

"Yep!" Happy answered while he hovered over their heads and explained to the Celestial Spirit Mage, "There are a ton of houses built around the border of town that don't usually get sold because they're out of the way. Natsu and I live in a place like that too, just up the hills."

"Hmm, I never even thought about where you guys lived." Lucy said before a grimace crossed her face and she groaned, "Ughh, I bet it's filed with bugs and gross stuff and you can't even see the floor."

"Hey, that's rude." Natsu said pointedly before looking up at the blue cat, "You can totally see the floor in our house, right?"

"Totally!" Happy responded positively before his face twisted with confusion, "The floor is the black part, right?"

"No I thought it was the white part."

"No, I have no idea what that is. But what's the brown part then?"

Gray walked closer to Lucy and whispered as the blonde girl was disgusted by their conversation about their house, "I think you should avoid visiting them for awhile. In the interest of your own personal health."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind." She said before she looked over at her other friend and took notice of his sluggish movement and exhausted expression. Lucy looked Gray over, "Are you okay? You look really tired."

"Huh?" Gray said tiredly as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, "Sorry, I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a while."

"Is something wrong?"

"Not really. It's just...I can't explain it. I feel like I've been on the edge for the last week." Gray's eyes seem to shrink with fear and panic, "Every step I take outside...every corner I cross...I just feel like someone's watching me. And every time I look behind me they're gone. It just doesn't stop."

Lucy and Happy were shaking with fright at the experience Gray was telling as they walked behind the group, hugging each other. The scared blonde whimpered out, "S-so what? A-are you being haunted by a ghost or something?"

"What kinda ghost would haunt Gray?" Natsu asked before looking ahead with disinterest, "He's an idiot."

"Shut up Natsu, this is serious!" Lucy yelled with fright as her eyes kept darting around to see if she could find a pair of eyes watching them.

"Yeah, stupid Natsu!" Happy agreed as he was terrified of a specter watching over them.

Natsu ignored them, "Whatever. We're here."

The small team arrived in front of a one-story house with an empty clearing in front of it and surrounded by trees everywhere else. Lucy looked it over with intrigue, "So this is where Naruto lives?"

"Yep." Natsu walked over to the front door and raised his foot up to knock it down, "WAKEY-"

"No no no!" Gray came in from behind and pulled Natsu off his only foothold, causing him to fall over on his butt.

Natsu glared up at the Maker Mage from the ground, "What the hell was that for asshole?!"

"You were about to kick down the door!" Gray said plainly before shaking his head and kneeling down by the Dragon Slayer, "You remember what happened the last time you knocked the door over? You wrecked up the inside of the house, you made Koyuki cry, Naruto kicked your ass from here to the guild and back...and Erza threatened you, remember?"

Natsu's eyes constricted and a chill went up his spine before his whole body started shaking. He whimpered out, "U-um, yeah, w-we should probably knock."

"Hmm." Gray hummed before he walked up and knocked on the door, "Naruto, Erza, you guys awake? We said we'd go on a job today in Onibus and we gotta get ready to leave. C'mon."

...

No answer.

Gray sighed and knocked a little harder, "Naruto, Er-"

The door unlocked and opened to reveal Erza wearing nothing but a large t-shirt over her body with her hair a little ruffled up. She seemed tired and rubbed her eyes before crossing her arms, "Sorry. What's wrong?"

Gray seemed surprised by her choice of wardrobe before the gears started moving and he grimaced. He shook his head and seemed to be avoiding her gaze, "We gotta go on the job we picked yesterday, remember?"

"Right." Erza said firmly before nodding her head, "We just lost track of time."

"Sure. No problem." Gray looked back up at her, "Is Naruto finally good for jobs again?"

"Yes. Everything's fine now. We'll rendezvous at the guild so you guys go ahead. We have to pack and get everything ready." Erza told them before she closed the door and left them waiting outside.

Gray turned around and groaned, "Ugh, I hate it when we see them after doing that."

Lucy looked at the Maker Mage and tilted her head, "Doing what? Erza looked like she just got out of bed."

"Sure she did."

"What are you talking about?"

Gray looked at her critically and asked, "Think about it...Naruto's been healing for the last week and last night was the first day after recovery. What does a couple do in their free time?"

Lucy was confused and thought about what he meant. Then realization struck her. Then her face started to burn in a bright vermillion and she stuttered, "Y-y-y-you mean-"

"Probably."

Lucy shook her head, "B-but there's no way for you to know that unless-"

*Knock*Knock*Knock*

Natsu yelled after knocking, "Hey, did you guys do it last night? Lucy and Gray really want to know!"

...

The door opened and revealed Naruto, stark naked and covering his crotch with a pillow. He deadpanned with an annoyed scowl, "She said wait at the guild. So shut up and go."

*SLAM*

...

Natsu turned around with his hands behind his head, "Should we just go now?"

Lucy and Gray were frozen with horror and shame, their eyes blacked out by their hair before they nodded, "Y-yeah. Let's go."

########Hunter########

Lucy looked her fellow blond over and asked with interest and confusion about his suggestion, "So why do you want to carry all of our luggage?"

"Helps me get back into shape." Naruto answered immediately as he looked at the bag hanging from his left arm and the cart of Erza's stuff he was pulling. He tapped his left arm, "This arm is still lacking in strength and I need to make up for it as quick as I can. Any chance to build up some muscle will help. Although..." He looked down at the large bags and cart he was pulling and shook his head disappointingly, "This won't really help that much. They're not as heavy as I need them to be."

"Well I still feel kinda bad leaving all the carrying up to the guy that just got out of recovery." She held her arms out and gave a reassuring smile, "Here, let me carry one."

Naruto grinned at her helpful attitude and chuckled, "You're a pretty nice girl, aren't you Lucy?" The girl gave a bigger smile and Naruto just decided to comply. He slid one bag down to his hand and held it over her open arms, "Here you go."

The bag dropped into Lucy's arms...and her legs and body buckled underneath the weight. Lucy's eyes nearly bugged out, 'AHHHHH! THIS IS SO HEAVY! HOW CAN HE SAY THIS IS NOT ENOUGH?! WAIT-NO-BETTER QUESTION, WHAT ARE THESE GUYS CARRYING ON JOBS?!' She mentally screamed before giving a weak smile as her legs were crushed by the bag, "O-on second thought, could I just carry my bag instead? I need to grab some of my stuff."

"Yeah, no problem." Naruto easily lifted Natsu's heavy bag off of Lucy's legs and passed her her smaller backpack that she eagerly took and secured around her arms. Seeing the blonde girl sigh in relief, he decided to switch his focus on to their first job as a proper team, "So what's the job anyway? This town doesn't look like it really has a lot to offer for fighting and trouble so why do they need Mages?"

"Because our magic is pretty and alluring." Gray answered as he kept looking around the town they arrived in, "And some people would appreciate our help in making their play a lot brighter and amazing."

Lucy looked around at her teamed and smiled confidently, "Mira-San held this job on hold because she thought it suited us best. So let's not disappoint her!"

"Of course not." Erza reassured her teammate as they continued down the street towards the theater. She proudly proclaimed, "If there is anything we can do to assist the theater in its performance, anything...we will rise to the occasion." The others smiled and nodded in agreement before they heard Erza give a loud cough that cleared her throat and hummed.

And then proceeded to do a number of vocal exercises to get ready for the play, "La~, la~, la~, Le~, Lu~, li~, lo~."

Lucy spoke to the armor-clad woman with a hesitance in her voice, "Um...Erza...we're not gonna perform at all. We're just going for special effects and helping on stage. Like flames for effects or moving props."

"Haaaaaaaa~, ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa~."

Naruto saved Lucy some effort, "She can't hear you anymore. Just let her have her moment." The team from Fairy Tail finally arrived at their destination in the middle of town and looked at the large, beautiful theater they would be assisting with for the job. Naruto whistled, "This looks awesome!"

Natsu grinned with excitement, "This place is huge!"

Lucy looked it over with admiration, "It's so beautiful. It's old but you can tell it holds so much history."

Gray gave a small smile as he looked the place over, "I guess we should head in and see how we can help."

Happy cheered, "Aye!"

Erza just kept doing her vocal warm-ups.

"Hold on." Naruto stopped, causing all of his friends beside Erza to look at him as he looked at the area. There were no banners. No posters. No tickets being sold. No one helping prepare for a show. He scratched his head, "Doesn't this place seem a little too deserted to be a popular theater?"

They looked around and noticed there was nothing to show there was a play going on. Happy tilted his head, "Now that you mention it, you're right."

Natsu looked confused, "It's like it was abandoned."

Lucy looked worried about the effect this would have on their job, "What happened?"

"U-um, e-excuse me-"

They all looked over to see a short, strange-looking man peeking his head out timidly from behind the entrance of the theater. He was shivering a little despite the small smile on his face and asked, "You're...you're the Mages sent by Fairy Tail, am I right? Thank you for coming."

"Of course." Erza answered, finally stopping her vocal exercises, and looked around the theater, "But what happened? Is something wrong?"

"Actually..."

########Hunter########

"So you guys have been doing nothing but bad plays for the last few weeks?"

"Yes."

"And the reviews have been so bad that all of your actors and staff have jumped ship?"

"Yes."

"So now if you don't give an amazing show, you're gonna lose the theater and get shut down for good?"

"Yes." The owner whimpered sadly, "Thank you very much."

"I don't think you need to thank us for that."

The Fairies had all moved into the theater and into a back room where there were costumes, mirrors, and set pieces for the old plays it had set up. They were sitting around a short table on the ground and using pillows and discarded clothes as seats.

The owner was shaking as tears started to fill his eyes, "I know that it might seem foolish to stick around here after everyone has left, but the theater is my life. I have devoted so much of my time to it. I can't just lose it without trying. But...I only have a few days until I have to give this place up...and I don't know what else to do."

The others looked between each other apprehensively as they thought out the poor man's situation. Lucy asked, "What do we do?"

"What can we do?" Gray inquired as he crossed his arms and legs in deep thought, "We can still try using our magic but I really don't think anyone will come just to see an empty, failing theater."

Naruto shook his head, "Gray's right. Nothing we do will matter unless there's actually a play going on here."

"What's the problem?" Natsu asked with confusion at their worry, "Let's just go to the people that worked here already and tell them to come back. They worked here once, they'll probably work here again."

Happy shook his head at his partner's suggestion, "I don't think they'll be up for that idea Natsu."

The owner had small tears forming in his eyes, "Oh no~. Whatever will I do?"

"Sir..."

Their brainstorming and crying were all halted by Erza who had been silent this entire time. She turned and faced the theater owner with her eyes closed, exuding an aura of a calm and composed individual. She reassured him, "Fairy Tail, and all of its members, have proven over the years that they are willing to help anyone in need that asks them. If we must fight an unbeatable monster, we'll beat it. If we must stop a volcano from blowing, we'll stop it. And if we must help you save this theater..."

Erza opened her eyes, revealing the diamond-like sparkles in her eyes as her voice went up an octave, "Then we will be the actors that save this play!"

"WHAT?!"

Erza somehow slid in closer to the owner and reassured him with the same sparkles in her eyes, "Sir, please allow these humble people to preform on your stage and bring life back into this withered house of art."

The others just stared at the eccentric redhead in shock before turning to look at each other. Naruto saw the look in her eye that said Erza was unwavering at the idea and sighed exasperated. He chuckled, "Well I think she just made up our minds."

Gray scratched his head, "If we are actually gonna do this, I'm not sure people wanna see another bad play preformed with worse actors in it." He crossed his arms and thought, "We might need to find a play that we can actually do. Or-"

"I can write a play!" Lucy interrupted with eagerness and joy evident in her voice, "I can finally start flexing some of my creative muscles!"

"We're making a play?!" Natsu asked excitedly as a big smile grew on his face and he started bouncing in place, "I wanna have a part in it too! A big part!"

Happy jumped over to Lucy's side, "Lucy, make me a hero in the story too! I wanna do something!"

Naruto and Gray saw their friends start to acclimate with the idea of making their own play and looked between each other. Naruto grinned, "I can use my Copy to make extras of the supplies for as long as we need them."

Gray smirked and intertwined his fingers to crack them, "Guess we're lucky for having such a great builder right here. Okay then..."

"LET'S MAKE A PLAY!"

The owner saw their exuberance, willingness, and eager joy to help him save his life profession and dream. His lips seemed to quiver...

Until he just sighed, "Whatever, not like I have anything left to lose by trusting a bunch of newbies."

########Hunter########

They were several days in now.

Tomorrow was fast approaching.

Almost showtime.

"My dearest princess, do not fret. Your prince has arrived." Erza gallantly announced in her tracksuit as a regal air settled around her. She continued, "I know you fear of the days to come, trembling at night with hopes of better tidings. But I shall not halt until I hold you in my embrace so we may escape this corrupt kingdom. That I shall promise to you!"

Lucy placed her script under her armpit and started clapping, "That was amazing Erza! You're a natural!"

Erza smiled modestly, "Well you only discover some talents in the midst of necessity."

The boys were on the other side of the stage, fixing up the new props and stage pieces for the play. Gray looked over and deadpanned at Erza's hamminess, "She is really chewing the scene with her lines."

Naruto picked up the set piece they had finished with before looking over to the center stage, "Yeah well she always said she thought it'd be fun performing in a movie or play. Now that's she's got the chance I guess she's giving it her all."

Natsu finished his set piece and sat up on top of it to take a break, "I loved the movies. They were always so cool when we went to see them together. The best part was when the buildings exploded and the heroes jump out at the last second! I always wanted to do that!"

"You do that all the time, dumbass!" Gray pointed out to his idiot companion, "Except you don't jump out! You're in the middle of it, causing all the shit to burn!"

"Hey! If they don't want it to burn so easily like that, they should try building it out of sturdier stuff!"

"So everyone should build fire-proof houses to avoid idiots like you torching it all the time?! Are you kidding dumbass?!"

Natsu jumped up and the two men started growling at each other, "You wanna go?!"

"No!" Naruto got in between them and stopped them from fighting. He threatened, "I get you two love punching each other in the face, but if you get in a fight and destroy the props before the play even starts then I swear I'll shove my foot so far up your asses, you'll be eating what I step in!"

Natsu and Gray looked between each other, to the peeved expression on Naruto's face that dared them to try anything, before looking back and glaring at each other. Natsu stuck his tongue out and Gray grumbled annoyingly before he turned around and went to the other side of the stage to grab some more material.

But noticed a strange, large box sitting atop his pile of stuff. He raised an eyebrow and looked around questioningly before kneeling down and picking it up. He looked over his shoulder, "Hey! Did anyone bring a bento box to work today?"

"A bento?"

"Oh, I should have packed some for us before we came on the job. That would have been a splendid idea."

"Why are you taking about bentos?"

"Hurry up and get back to work Gray."

"Aye!"

Gray just blinked in surprise before he looked at the box in his arms. He hesitated before slowly taking off the top...

To reveal a delicious lunch with the rice colored to match a strange, overly-handsome image of Gray winking and smiling at the owner.

Gray's eyes became shadowed by his hair and he shook with fear, "W-what the hell is this supposed to be?"

"What is it?"

Gray flinched before relaxing when he realized it was just Happy landing on his shoulder. He tried to explain to the blue cat, "I-I came over and found this on my stuff! Someone made my face in rice!"

Happy looked over his shoulder and down at the bento before his eyes widened in surprise, "Wow! That looks so tasty!"

"What?!" Gray pointed at it in disbelief, "Do you see my face in the rice?! Someone is stalking me!"

"What are you two doing?!" Happy and Gray flinched when Erza's demanding voice appeared behind them with disappointment and pressuring them to answer, "We have a play to preform tomorrow and we don't have any time to waste! So why...what is that?"

Lucy came up behind her and saw the box in his arm, "Is that your lunch?"

Gray looked back down at the box before showing it to the girls, "I found this weird thing sitting on top of my stuff! I don't even know where it came from!"

Erza looked at the lunchbox with suspicion before she took the chopsticks provided at the side and broke them apart. She closed her eyes and gave thanks before taking a chunk of rice and chewing on it. Lucy freaked out, "Erza!"

Gray panicked and shook his head, "Don't just eat it! It might be poisonous!"

Erza kept eating before she gave a delightful hum, "This is delicious. I don't know where it came from but whoever made this is a great cook." She ignored the looks she was getting from her others friends, "Naruto, Natsu, come over here and try this bento with Gray's face in it. It's very tasty."

Naruto and Natsu looked down at the box and were alarmed at its sight before Erza handed the whiskered man the chopsticks. Naruto was hesitant before he took a chunk and ate it before his expression brightened, "Woah, that's good! Whoever made this is an expert!" Naruto smiled and prepared to dig in, "I wanna try his eyes next!"

Erza tried to calm him down, "Don't eat all of it. I still wish to see how his nose tastes."

Natsu looked eager, "Is it really that good? Can I try and eat his face next?"

"WOULD YOU GUYS STOP TALKING LIKE THAT! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ACTUALLY WANNA EAT ME!"

While the group of Fairies talked together, they didn't notice the black hat and curled blue hair that hid in the vast set of seats in the theater. The hidden woman looked at the stage and cried a little, "No~, that was supposed to be for Juvia's beloved."

Lucy seemed interested, "Can I try some?" Lucy took a bit of rice and ate it before she swooned, "Ah, it's so tasty!"

The former Phantom Mage seethed at the sight of the blonde woman eating her gift...

"My rival."

########Hunter########

"Ohhhhhhh~! So pretty!" Koyuki said cheerfully as she looked up at the large theater as a wave of men and women started moving in for their seats. She gripped her mother's hand a little tighter and started bouncing on her feet, "Mama, we gotta get seats with everyone else! We're gonna miss the show!"

Mahiro kneeled down and rustled her daughter's chestnut hair, "Sorry Koyuki, but Master Makarov is meeting some old friends and I promised I'd stay by his side to meet with them. I asked you if you wanna go ahead with Mirajane but you wanted to stay here."

"Oh, it's all right Mahiro. You don't have to worry about it." Makarov assured the busty blonde woman with a carefree smile, "I'm just an old fart meeting a bunch of my old fart friends. You can go ahead and find a seat with everyone else."

Mahiro seemed really eager at the idea and smiled, "Really Master?!"

He nodded, "Go ahead."

"Yes!" She picked up her five-year old and gave her a big grin, "C'mon Koyuki, let's go see Naruto and Erza!"

"Yay!"

The Senju girls ran into the theater and Makarov was left standing outside for his old companions to arrive. When the guild found out that their newest team was gonna put on a play, everyone that could spare the time came down on a train to see them. To help cheer them on and congratulate their first accomplishment as a team.

Or laugh at their faces at the hilarity of them performing a play by themselves.

"Oh, Makky, there you are."

Makarov turned around and saw his old friends; Yajima, Bob, and Goldmine walking up to him outside the theater. He waved them over, "So you guys actually made it."

Goldmine answered, "You gave us a free ticket to come watch some of your kids put on a play. I wouldn't miss that for the world."

Bob swooned a little, "Oh~, I heard Erza-chan and her friends made this play themselves. I can't wait to see it."

"Well, temper your expectations a little." Makarov tiredly scratched his chin, "I don't think these kids will be winning any awards anytime soon."

Yajima cautioned his friend, "Makky, I hope your kids can avoiding causing too much damage. This theater is old and quite beloved by the townspeople."

Makarov chuckled, "Oh Yammy..." Before his face twisted in worry, "Please don't jinx this."

########Hunter########

The large crowd was bustling with excitement as they waited for the play that had been advertised all across town. Mira looked around in amazement at the massive turnout to her friends' play. She leaned in towards her brother, "I can't believe Lucy and the other got so many people to come see their play. And so quickly too."

Elfman loudly laughed, "Haha, I guess they proved just how resourceful real men they can be in a crisis!"

Lisanna could feel the excitement welling up in her chest, "I wonder what they're gonna preform?"

"Master told me that it was something they wrote themselves."

Cana sighed and sat back in her seat lazily, "Well, can't wait to see how they screw this up."

The lights finally started to dim and everyone started going quiet. They heard a ding that echoed through the room to alert them that the show was starting and a light started shining down on the stage. Everyone went silent as they saw a cute young lady with rosy cheeks and a pink bonnet wearing a blue dress. She sat in front of a harp and joyfully waved at the crowd before she started running her fingers over the strings. Lyra's magical voice reached out...

"We start our tale in a faraway land~, across the sea and across the sand~, in valleys torn between saint and sin~, is where our story begins~."

Crowd: (Her voice is heavenly.)

Crowd: (She's such a good singer.)

Lyra kept strumming her fingers over the harp as the beautiful tone spread over the crowd.

"The Royal and magic, the evil and good~, traverse the land our hero once stood~, take princess away from the evil within~, is where our story begins...~"

The crowd clapped and applauded Lyra's musical performance and she squealed a little. She waved to everyone, "I did it! Thank you everyone!"

*Poof*

Her body glowed with light before her summoning was canceled and she was sent back home. The light focused on the stage as the curtain drew back and revealed a myriad of set pieces to convey a mountain range and a castle sitting on its edge. There was a balcony built far and high enough on the stage for someone to walk out as a figure stepped to its end.

Lucy was dressed in a beautiful pink gown and her hair done up in a regal fashion, with a shiny necklace around her neck and tiara on her head. She looked like a princess.

Crowd: (She's beautiful!)

Crowd: (Who is she?)

Levy: (Lu-chan looks so pretty!)

She spoke loud enough for the whole theater to hear her, "Oh, how long have I been stranded in this tower with no hope of escaping? Days have gone and seasons passed, yet still I've found now way to escape. Until I am rescued by a prince of pure heart, I am stuck in this prison of stone, awaiting the day he may arrive."

Another spotlight shined down on the other side of the stage and everyone watched as a scarlet-haired prince walked out into the open. He had his hair done up in an elegant ponytail and had formal, beautiful clothes on and a cape that told of his royal standing.

Crowd: (The prince!)

Crowd: (He's so handsome!)

Koyuki: (Onee-chan looks like a boy!)

Cana: (Wow, Erza pulls that stuff off really well.)

The princess brightened up and smiled, "Prince Sieg Hart! Hero and strongest Mage of the land! At last you have arrived! Please, take me far away from this tower so we may live happily ever after!"

Sieg Hart smiled and placed a hand to his chest and raised another towards the princess. He opened his mouth, "..."

"..."

"..."

"A-a-a-a-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh?"

Crowd: (Ahhhhhhhhhh?)

Crowd: (What's wrong with the prince?)

Mahiro: (D-does Erza have stage fright?)

Bob: (I think Erza-chan's knees are shaking.)

Makarov: (Of all the things she faces and this is what gets her frozen?!)

Lucy leaned over the beams and whispered loudly, "Erza! You have a line! Try and remember it!"

Erza started to stutter, "I-I-I S-Sieg Hart, g-great Mage, a-am here to rescue Princess Resha, h-hottest ass in the land!"

The audience started laughing at the slip of the tongue as Resha coughed into her fist and tried to correct the prince, "M-my prince, don't you mean to say I am the fairest in the land?"

Sieg Hart continued sputtering, "C-come princess, let's us run away and m-make forty-three children together!"

"Woah woah woah buddy, one step at a time!" Resha yelled with a red face as the audience laughed, "Get me out of the castle first and then we could at least go for a drink or something!"

"Don't even try it, Prince Sieg Hart!"

Another figure walked onto the stage and everyone saw a handsome man with ebony hair wearing a blue suit and cape. He gave a smug smile and announced, "It is I, the most handsome man in the country, Julius! Sorry Sieg Hart, but you won't be able to take back my prisoner, Princess Resha, so easily!"

Mira: (Wow, Gray looks so handsome.)

Lisanna: (Where's Natsu and Naruto?)

Crowd: (Wait, who's this guy?)

Crowd: (The princess is a prisoner?)

Crowd: (I thought she was stuck in the tower or something.)

Resha knocked her fist against her head, "Oh that's right! I was kidnapped! Silly me."

Crowd: (You don't forget something that important!)

Crowd: (Did you even try to escape!)

Julius clapped his hands together and made a sword of ice that was aimed at the redhead, "Sorry Sieg Hart, but this is as far as you go! Our age old conflict shall end today!"

Elfman: (What age old conflict?!)

Goldmine: (Can't help but feel like we're missing some context here.)

Sieg Hart panicked under the focus from the crowd and stuttered, "I-I am not afraid, b-because m-my blades can...can...ATTACK!"

Dozens of blades appeared and stabbed the ground by Julius' feet as he stumbled back, "Oh crap! Screw this!" And he unceremoniously ran off stage to avoid any injury.

Crowd: (He just ran!)

Crowd: (Was that the villain?!)

Cana: (Gray, get back on stage and fight! Make sure we didn't waste our money coming here today!)

"AHHHHHHH-OOF!" Julius was harshly thrown back out on the stage and bounced near Sieg Hart's feet. The evil Mage groaned and stood back up beside the redhead prince while facing someone off the stage.

"Kehahahahahaha! You didn't think it would actually be that easy to take the princess back, did you Sieg Hart?!"

A smoke cloud appeared on the edge of the stage and a figure quickly revealed himself. He was a tall and fairly muscular man, with baggy pants and wrappings around his lower chest with just a brown cloak to cover him. He had a large, spiky wig of burgundy hair and a malicious grin over his whiskered face. He laughed, "It is I, Shuda, right hand of the Evil King, here to take the princess back to our king for his evil plans!"

Koyuki: (Onii-chan!)

Levy: (Naruto's the bad guy?)

Yajima: (Naruto-kun seems to be enjoying himself up there.)

Crowd: (What evil king?)

Sieg Hart held his blade up to the new arrival and threatened, "I-if you think I'll let you t-take the princess, t-then think again! Go blades!"

More blades appeared from thin air and flew towards Shuda, but unlike Julius he did not turn and retreat. He ran forward and pulled a red blade from the air that became engulfed in flames as he knocked back and parried all of the prince's attacks. The crowd gasped and clapped at the amazing fire effects as Shuda leapt over the stage and landed on the balcony. Princess Resha gasped and yelped as Shuda wrapped his arm around her stomach and jumped to the other side of the stage.

Shuda landed and the princess started knocking on his arms, "Let me go! Let me go you jerk!"

He chuckled, "Sorry Princess, but the boss needs your services and I ain't gonna piss him off!" He aimed his sword towards the prince and Julius, "Sieg Hart, no matter what you try you will never see your beloved princess ever again! And Julius, if any of us see your face again you will regret it!"

Crowd: (Isn't Julius on their side because he caught the princess?)

"Wait! I thought we were on the same side! Why are you threatening me?!"

"Because all you do is stare at yourself in the mirror like an idiot! You don't get anything done!"

"Pfft." Julius flipped his hair and smiled, "Well when you look like this can you blame me?"

"WOOOOOO! WORK IT GRAY-SAMA! YEAH!"

He waved to the crowd, "Thank you, thank-wait, who was that?"

"ENOUGH!" Shuda yelled loudly and made everyone in the room shut their mouths in silence. He exclaimed, "I hope you've said your goodbyes because when I bring Princess Resha to the king, his plan will finally be set in motion! He will...will.." His smug grin fell to an uncertain stare, "U-um...he'll..."

...

...

Crowd: (Is he building suspense?)

Cana: (He'll what exactly?)

Mahiro: (Oh god, I think he forgot his line.)

Mira: (Oh no.)

Yajima: (Now it seems like Naruto-kun has frozen.)

Sweat started accumulating on his brow and Lucy broke character to whisper, "Naruto! Don't just stand there quiet! Can't you remember the line!"

Naruto whispered back, "How the hell would I remember?! You kept switching the goal around so much that I can't remember what these guys are doing!"

"Think!"

"Fine!" He stood back up and tried regaining his confident tone, "Once we have the princess, we...will...tax everyone and make them pay our bills."

Crowd: (Booo!)

Crowd: (That's a terrible plan!)

He noticed the crowd's displeasure with that ad-lib and decided to improvise again, "OKAY! THEN THE KING WILL RIP OUT YOUR $&! #%^++ AND TEAR €#*%£€+~¥$ SO FAR $& $ & ?#%^} YOU'LL ALL BE #€%*+£¥€!$& SIDEWAYS FOR A WEEK!"

Erza, Gray, Lucy, and everyone in the crowd were staring at the whiskered man with shock as their eyes became white plates and their mouths hung open. He saw their looks of horror and stood back up, "What? Was that too much? Okay...um...we'll take the princess...so we may achieve unlimited magical power...and rule for all eternity. How's that?"

The girl in his arms nodded, "Yeah, that's much better."

"All right. HAHAHA, I AM AWAY!" He threw his hand down and blew up a smoke bomb as he disappeared with the princess in his clutches.

Julius and Sieg Hart were the only ones left on stage as the smoke cleared. They looked at each other in silence for several moments as a tense atmosphere settled around them. Julius motioned to the spot they just disappeared, "That seems really bad. Let's work together and take care of them."

Sieg Hart nodded, "G-great idea!"

Elfman: (ARE YOU KIDDING?!)

Cana: (WHAT THE HELL?!)

Crowd: (DIDN'T YOU TWO HAVE SOME OLD CONFLICT THAT COULD NEVER BE SETTLED?!)

Sieg Hart stuttered, "W-we must go and save the princess! Let's go!"

The scenery behind them started to rotate around and it changed into a more rocky terrain with clouds painted over. They cheered, "We made it!"

Crowd: (Who made this play?)

Crowd: (I don't know but I don't think they were trying very hard while writing it.)

"Hahaha!" A familiar cackling echoed through the room and they saw Shuda drop down from the ceiling and land on stage. He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled, "Looks like you guys actually followed us all this way! That's pretty brave. Or idiotic. Either way this is as far as you go!"

Shuda pulled out his red sword and it became engulfed in fire as Sieg Hart summoned several blades and Julius made a spear of ice. The three fighters then dashed towards each other and the whole stage was lit up with flashes of clashing metal, rising ice, and spreading flames. The audience watched with amazement as the actors displayed acrobatics and reflexes they had never seen before.

Crowd: (This is amazing!)

Crowd: (The performances are a little stale but the choreography is outstanding!)

Makarov: (Yes! They're reeling them back in!)

Lisanna: (Anyone else think this is gonna go south real fast?)

Shuda flipped over the swords Sieg Hart sent at his feet and spun far over their heads. He swung and countered the spears of ice Julius sent at him with a wave of fire. He landed back on the ground and lifted his feet as the ground beneath him became covered in spikes of ice. With his footing compromised, Sieg Hart came in from overhead with a dozen blades hanging over him and swung down.

"WOAH!" Shuda yelled as he flipped out of the way as the swords impacted the ground and split the wood beneath it. The dodging was such a radical reaction that he didn't have time to properly balance himself on the edge of the stage and waved his arms around to save himself. He finally regained his balance and sighed in relief.

Until the redhead prince came up behind him and kicked his butt off stage and straight into the crowd.

Koyuki: (They get to play in the play!)

Mahiro: (Oh no.)

Cana: (Hey, looks like those guys were in the splash zone.)

Yajima: (Makky, I think this play is hazardous to the population.)

Makarov: (P-please no. Don't do this.)

Part of the crowd was moaning after getting slammed by Naruto's falling body and the whiskered man stood up with his wig falling off his head. He saw everyone staring at him and bowed his head before dashing up to the stage and behind the curtains.

...

Sieg Hart raised his blade, "A-and thus, Shuda has been defeated!"

Crowd: (HE WASN'T DEFEATED! HE JUST RAN OFF STAGE!)

"Kehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe-ahahahahahahahahahah!"

There was a far more devious, malevolent laugh echoing through the theater. The dark, gruff voice cackled some more before speaking out in a false, threatening voice, "So...I see that Shuda was not enough to stop you by himself. You are stronger than I believed you to be. Prince Sieg Hart, I have heard tales of your strength. Julius, I underestimated you. But is does not matter anymore. This is the end."

The scenery around them parted back and the blue sky was replaced by red and black clouds. Princess Resha was tied up and lowered close to the ground where she yelled, "Prince Sieg Hart! Julius! Save me!"

"No one can save you now."

Another figure walked out from behind the curtain and it was a man with wild, spiky blond hair. He wore a black suit of armor with a long black cape and a black sword attached to his side. And he had the same whisker pattern on his cheeks.

Julius growled, "The Evil King!"

He nodded, "That's right! It is I, the Evil King!"

Crowd: (Isn't that the same guy who played Shuda?!)

Crowd: (What is wrong with this play?!)

Julius and Sieg Hart summoned blades and aimed them at the Evil King. They threatened, "You won't be able to beat the both of us!"

"Give up!"

"Sorry but you can't fight me just yet." The King smirked and threw his hand out, "If you want to fight me, first you must defeat my four animal warriors! First, my most loyal animal solider, The Horse Soldier!"

Lucy smiled and pulled one of her keys from her back pocket, "Open, Gate of the Archer, Sagittarius!"

A light shined on the stage and a man dressed in a suit and horse outfit with a bow and quiver appeared. He saluted and greeted everyone, "Moshi Moshi!"

Crowd: (That's not a horse! That's just some guy wearing a horse outfit!)

Koyuki: (Horsey!)

Mira: (Aww, they got a horse in the play.)

Levy: (That is not a horse!)

The King pointed at his enemies, "Take them out!"

"Of course sir!" Sagittarius responded as he raised his bow and pulled an arrow back. He started firing arrows at his targets so quickly that they were nothing but blurs to the normal eye. Julius and Sieg Hart deflected the arrows with a flurry of swipes as the broken arrow heads landed on the floor around them.

Sieg Hart took the brunt of the work needed to block the arrows as Julius slammed his fists together and swung out, "Ice Make: Hammer!"

A giant ice hammer appeared and slammed into the horse archer, knocking him back and off the stage. His body started to glow and disappear, "Ohhhhhh~! Sorry! Moshi Moshi!"

Sagittarius disappeared and the Evil King just chuckled, "Congratulations, you defeated my horse. But now, you must beat the most perverted animal soldier, my Cow Soldier!"

"Open, Gate of the Golden Bull, Taurus!"

Another light shined across the stage and a massive hybrid of a man and cow appeared with a giant axe. He flexed his massive muscles and roared, "Mooooooo~, I'm here to protect the princess' sexy body from all that try to take her away!"

Crowd: (It's a giant cow!)

Crowd: (And he's a pervert!)

Levy: (I hate that spirit.)

Mahiro: (It's okay. You'll have your time.)

Cana: (No need to be jealous.)

Taurus held his axe up high and boasted, "I'm sorry, but as the top guard of this group, I have to protect the princess' mooooverlous body and-"

"HA!"

Taurus was kicked in the face by the red-headed prince and sent across the stage like a rag doll. Everyone was silent as he glowed and disappeared from sight so quickly. They all looked up at the villain expectantly after his soldier was beaten before the Evil King just nodded his head, "Okay, that was impressive. But now you must face..." He leaned back and whispered to Lucy, "Any other spirits we can use?"

"U-um...oh, I have my dog spirit." Lucy pulled out another key, "Open, Gate of Canis Minor, Nikola!"

"Meet my Dog Soldier!"

*Poof*

A light shined and a blast of smoke covered all their sights until-

"Puunnnnn."

Everyone looked at the very tiny white creature that was shivering and had a strange horn sticking out of its face. It raised its paw up at everyone, "Puun puuuunnn!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Naruto picked the poor, shivering creature up and looked it over with confusion. He raised an eyebrow, "What...what the hell is this thing?"

Lucy whispered, "He's Plue, my dog spirit."

He questioned, "Do dogs have horns now or something?"

"Well he is a dog."

"Can he attack or anything?"

"Stop questioning it. Just keep going."

"Fine." Naruto got back into character, "Kehehehe, now you must face my most brutal of beasts, the Dog Soldier! Now prepare for his ultimate attack...um...F-FASTBALL!"

"PUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

*SCHWIP*

Everyone just stared at the pathetic little creature whose nose pierced the wall behind them and struggled for a few seconds before remaining lodged by his nose. Lucy's eyes started to water at the sight of her innocent little spirit being thrown like a weapon and everyone just stared at the blond man.

He nonchalantly coughed into his fist, "Okay, let's ignore that just happened. But, I do have one animal left!"

The whole stage started to shake and tremble as the Evil King called out, "Come, my most evil animal solider! The Dragon Soldier!"

The scenery around them parted and a massive shadow started to pass over their heads. The lights turned on to reveal a large dragon costume being carried by Happy while he was wearing a black mesh outfit to blend into his surroundings. And inside the dragon costume with his head peaking out was Natsu as he yelled, "I am the all mighty Dragon Soldier! Hear me roar! WRAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone gasped in surprise as the dragon started breathing fire and whipping it around wildly over the audience.

Koyuki: (Natsu-niichan!)

Lisanna: (He finally came!)

Mira: (That definitely suits him.)

Makarov: (That idiot is gonna burn the place down if he keeps doing it like that!)

Mahiro: (I think he only cares about getting his time to shine.)

Levy: (D-does he realize what he's burning?)

The fire died down and the prince and handsome Mage finally regained their bearings. Julius announced, "That dragon's all bark and no bite, King! You'll have to do better than that to-ooooohhhhhhh shit."

Everyone was absolutely silent with horror as they stared at the Evil King as his whole body was smokey and charred by the wave of flames that enveloped him. The blond man licked his fingers and snuffed out the flame burning on the top of his head before he took a deep breath in and sighed...

"NATSU YOU SONUVA BITCH!"

Naruto dropped all context of acting and grabbed hold of Natsu in his dragon outfit. He started wailing on the open slot Natsu was putting his face through and yelled through the punching, "OW! OW! OW! OW! NARUTO, THAT HURTS!"

"SO DOES GETTING BURNED WITH FIRE YOU JACKASS!"

"OH YEAH WELL-WRAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Another stream of fire blew out of Natsu's mouth to scare the whiskered ninja away but Naruto spun around his neck and sat on his back to punch the back of his head. The two boys kept arguing and trying to hit each other as Happy's face started to strain and sweat under the weight he was carrying, "G-guys! I-it's too heavy! I-I can't hold on!"

Happy grip gave out and he let go of the rope holding Natsu and his costume over the stage. Naruto and Natsu were hitting each other but froze when they felt themselves falling towards the ground and embraced each other while screaming. They harshly crashed into the ground and shattered the wood beneath them with smoke and dust rising up from their crater.

Several props and scenery sets started to glow as Naruto's Copy magic waned from his impacted and disappeared. The stage and scenery started to fall apart as Gray saw everything tumbling down, "Oh shit!"

Lucy panicked and started kicking her legs around, "Hey, someone help me! I'm still tied up!"

Gray called out and ran to help, "Don't worry Lucy, I'm coming to-"

But Erza dashed by them and swung her sword around in a flurry of silver before she reappeared behind Lucy and smiled, "I-it's okay Princess Resha, I have saved you!"

*Schwip*

The ropes entangling Lucy fell to shreds...and so did all the clothes covering her body.

Crowd: (WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!)

Elfman: (MAAAAANNNNNNN!)

Makarov: (NOW THIS IS A PLAY!)

Levy: (Lu-chan!)

Cana: (You go girl!)

Lisanna: (Lucy, watch out! Everyone can see you!)

Koyuki: (Mama, what's happening?)

Mahiro: (Don't look Koyuki. This is the part kids should avoid seeing.)

Mira: (Oh geez.)

Lucy fell on her knees, covering her breasts and privates from sight as a coat was draped over her body. She looked up to see Erza, still in character, offer a hand to the blonde princess, "Princess Resha, it's time for us to walk into the sunset together."

"HOW ARE YOU STILL IN CHARACTER NOW OF ALL TIMES?!"

Gray was standing there in shock before he noticed flames were crawling up the curtains and into the scaffolding. He punched his hands together, "Shit! Ice Make-"

"WRAHHHH!"

"GRAHHHH!"

Natsu and Naruto jumped out of the hole in the ground and we're breathing heavily before turning and seeing each other. They covered their hands with their respective magics and pounced towards each other before a wall of ice blocked their path, "Can you two stop fighting and help with the burning stage?!"

Natsu was still fuming, "You wanna fight, Gray?!"

Naruto was seething with anger, "If you want your turn I'm happy to offer it!"

Gray felt the pressure he was under by both of their intense stares and backed up slowly, "Hold on you two. Don't do-"

"GRAY!"

"DIE!"

"FUCK!"

The whole stage started to get destroyed by the Fairies fighting and the fire spreading over the structure. Everyone watched in shock as the chaos enveloped the stage and debris started flying everywhere. Erza stood there silently and let the pieces of debris bounce off her head before she yelled, "I-I must protect the princess! Prepare yourselves for combat!"

"WE'RE NOT IN THE PLAY ANYMORE!"

Lucy yelled, "WILL YOU GUYS STOP FIGHTING! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHOW!"

The owner peeked out from behind the curtains, "I don't think they can hear you anymore. Thank you very much."

Lucy looked around with panic and worry, "Yeah, and they're really getting into it too! And when that happens, something really bad is bound to follow!"

As if on cue, the whole theater start to shake and tremble on its foundation. The audience froze and looked up at the ceiling. Naruto, Natsu, Erza, and Gray stopped fighting and looked up in surprise. And Lucy finally just sighed in defeat and played her face, "Figures."

And the whole building came falling down.

########Hunter########

The owner popped his head out from behind the door with a smile, "You all did a marvelous job again today everyone! Since you all started working here, we've been selling out our shows three times a day! The people love your unorthodox characters, changing dialogue, exhilarating action, and how you even bring the audience into the play! It's a hit! I never thought I'd be able to keep my dream alive like this! Thank you! Thank you all so much!"

His enthusiasm and gratitude fell on deaf ears as most of his temporary employees were lying on the ground, sleeping against the wall, or sprawled out on the table.

Naruto lifted his head off the ground and glared at the short man, "Shouldn't this job be done now?! You get to keep making shows now, right?!"

The owner smiled, "Well I just want to make sure so I'm going to need you all to stick around a little longer."

Gray growled, "You said that already...for the last two days!"

"Well you all destroyed my theater so until I know it can be rebuilt I'm going to need you all working just a little longer. Thank you very much."

"LET US GO HOME!"

"YOU EVIL BASTARD!"

"THIS HAS TO BE BREAKING SOME LABOR LAW OR SOMETHING!"

"CATS CAN'T WORK THIS LONG WITHOUT FISH!"

"La~, la~, la~, la~, la~, la~." The only person not tired and exhausted was Erza, as she kept doing her vocal exercises and preparing for their next show.

Lucy cried and curled up into a ball, "I just wanna go home~!"

########Hunter########

Done

And that will be the end of the light-hearted arc for awhile. Time to get back into the good and comfortable...which for the rest of you means freaky and uncomfortable.

I'm really excited to be watching the Tartarus Arc! Finally! I've been waiting so long! And I'm already hyped!

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