CH. 35

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen to start breakfast. I was making a french toast casserole. It tastes wonderful. I got the bread soaked in the egg dip, then layered it in a pan with sausage. Then I poured the rest of the egg mix over it, and set it in the fridge to soak. I started cutting up pieces of fruit and I took out the bacon. I put the french toast in the oven and the bacon in a frying pan on the stove. As I was cooking it Emmett came down. I gave him some fruit and a glass of juice as I finished making his plate.

"Here ya' go Em. Bacon and french toast casserole." I tried to act cheery, but I'm not sure he bought it.

"Are you okay Bella? You really scared me this morning."

"I'm okay Em. Just nightmares." I turned from him to wash the dishes. I didn't want him seeing the tears in my eyes. This particular nightmare really bothered me.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"N-no." My voice cracked and he heard. He got up from his chair and started to come over to me before I stopped him. "Wait! Emmett, I'll tell you...but just stay there okay? And, don't say anything until I'm done? And promise not to hate me...okay?"

"Okay Bells. But, I'll never hate you."

"I know you think that now Emmett...but you don't know."

"You can tell me anything."

"Okay but...don't tell Charlie. I'm afraid of how he'd react okay?"

"Sure...but no matter what, we'll both always love you."

"Well...growing up Renee never smiled. Then when I was 8 she met Phil. He was visiting Florida but when it was time for him to go back to California Renee followed. He wasn't nice, at all. He hit us. A lot. And I took it, because no matter how much it hurt, Renee was happy. She actually smiled.

Can you imagine...being 8 years old and the first time you see your Mom smile, it's because of some guy. I promised myself I'd do anything to keep her happy, and that meant taking his abuse. He'd lock me in the closet sometimes, and not let us eat a lot. He didn't want us fat. When I was 12 he started having sex with me. That's what the tattoo on my neck is for. He took something from me, and my 12 year old mind couldn't process it, so I figured 'he took something, then I'll add something'. I know it was dumb, but I didn't know how to cope. Sometimes he'd bring a friend. I'm sure Renee knew, but she never said anything. He started hitting her more, and she just...became an empty shell. She stopped working,and gave up. I found out I was pregnant about a week before Renee died. I stopped smoking and drinking. I knew I'd have to leave so Phil didn't kill my baby." I was crying a lot by now "As much as I didn't want to be a mom at 15, I knew I couldn't kill the baby. I was scared, I didn't know what to do so I told Renee. She was pissed. She confronted Phil. She said she was kicking him out and we were going to the police. She said that the baby was proof. Even if no one believed us about the abuse, he was still a 26 year old man who got a 15 year old girl pregnant. Consensual or not, it was still illegal. Well...Phil freaked. He killed her. I tried to stop him. I ran upstairs to get my phone and call the cops, but he threw me down the stairs. Then when he came back with his gun, I tried to stop him from shooting her. He shot me in the stomach and then shot Renee in the head. He was about the shoot me again, but he heard the sirens and ran away. I passed out and woke up the next day in the hospital. I had a miscarriage while I was there. I didn't want my baby to die. I'm a horrible person. It's my fault Renee is dead, and my baby..." I sank down to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. "Please don't hate me. I was scared, and I made a stupid decision. Please don't...I don't think I could take it if you and Charlie hated me. But, it's okay if you do. I can leave..." I was cut off by Emmett wrapping his arms around me gently.
"Bella...I love you. So does Charlie. I'm so so sorry you had to go through all that. But we'll always be here for you. None of that was your fault. It was all him."

"I'm sorry Emmett..." I hugged him tighter, then I heard and saw Charlie come in the kitchen. There were tears in his eyes, and I'm sure he heard at least part of what I told Emmett. He kneeled down next to Emmett and me, and took me from his arms. He hugged me tighter than I knew was possible, but it didn't even hurt.

"I'm so sorry Isabella. If I could have prevented all of that, I would. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay Charlie. It's not your fault." I said, while still crying. "I made breakfast...you guys should eat. I need to change. I start school today." I said meekly, getting out of Charlie's arms.

"You don't have to go today, you can start tomorrow if you want." Charlie suggested.

"No, I'm going today. I've been out of school for over 2 weeks. Gotta go back sometime!" I put on a happy facade and went upstairs to change, and get ready for the day.