1921

Esme

I tried to concentrate on the words Carlisle was saying as he read to me, but my mind was still reeling. I had told Carlisle everything, and, much to my surprise, he had not pushed me away in disgust, but instead had told me he loved me.

He loves me.

With those three words, everything changed. I had planned to keep my feelings to myself, sure they would never been reciprocated. But miraculously they were. It felt unreal, like I was dreaming, even though I could no longer do so. It was all my girlish daydreams come true.

I tried again to concentrate on the words coming out of Carlisle's mouth, but my focus kept shifting. I was acutely aware of the closeness of his body, and his arm wrapped round my shoulder. As I tried yet again to focus on the words, I noticed instead the way his voice had a slight British tilt when he was reading out loud. Eventually, I gave up trying to listen, allowing his gentle voice to wash over me as I nestled myself against his chest.

I was so focused on Carlisle that I was taken completely by surprise by the sound of the front door opening. Carlisle stopped reading and both of us looked towards the doorway guiltily as Edward walked in.

Edward froze in the doorway. He stared at us, his eyes wide in shock. Unknowingly, I stopped breathing, waiting for him to say something. Perhaps I should have moved out of Carlisle's embrace to make things less awkward, but we were both frozen in position. Neither of us said anything, but Edward seemed to be staring at Carlisle, and I gathered Carlisle was probably talking to him mentally. I tried to control my own thoughts.

What can I say? 'Oh, by the way, Edward, me and your father are in love,' doesn't exactly sound good.

A few more uncomfortable seconds ticked on, then Edward face broke into a smile and he gave a little chuckle.

"Sheesh, you go out for one afternoon," he muttered jokingly. I relaxed and I felt Carlisle do so too. "Your shift starts soon by the way," Edward told Carlisle and then he left to head upstairs.

"I suppose I best be getting myself ready," Carlisle said reluctantly.

"I suppose," I agreed, equally unenthusiastic. He removed his arm from around me, and I stood up off the sofa so he could stand. It felt weird, after being close to him for so long, to have any distance between us.

I wanted to ask if he had to go, but I knew that would be selfish of me. He was a doctor. He saved lives. That was a part of who he was. One of the reasons I loved him.

With one last smile in my direction; he headed up the stairs to his bedroom. I didn't know what to do with myself now. I found myself staring out the window, my mind still reeling with the events of the day. I ran them through my mind repeatedly, just to prove to myself that it had been real – that I hadn't imagined it.

I heard Carlisle's footsteps on the stairs and then I felt his arm around my waist.

"I wish you didn't have to go. I'll miss you," I admitted.

"I'll be back before you know it, I'll miss you too," Carlisle told me, lifting my face up to kiss me. Then he let go of my waist and walked out of the living room. I listened closely to the sound of the front door closing, then his rapidly quieter footsteps as he ran away from the house.

I sighed and looked out of the window again.

"We can go hunt if you want. On one condition, you promise to try your hardest to not think about kissing my father," Edward's voice broke through my reverie.

Are you OK? I was worried the pair of us might have hurt Edward, not least considering how sudden it all had been. The poor boy most have been taken by surprise.

"Sudden for you, maybe. I can read minds remember," he joked, tapping his temple. I smiled slightly. Having access to our thoughts meant Edward had probably figured out was going on long before even of us had.

"I knew something odd was going on in Carlisle's mind, that was for certain. And your daydreams were none to subtle." I mock-glared at him, but admitted he was right.

"Of course I am."

"No one like a know-it-all, Edward," I told him jokingly.

"I can't help it," he said defensively.

I know. I didn't mean to upset you, I was only joking.

"I know."

Are you sure you're okay? This hasn't upset you at all?

"Well, I could do without the mental pictures of what it's like when the pair of you kiss, but aside from that, no. You two belong together," he said the last part with conviction.

Thank you, Edward.

"So, hunting?"

"I'd love to."

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

The moment we returned from our hunt I glanced at the clock in the hallway. I had tried to take my time while hunting, trying to stretch the hours out so I would have less time to wait once we returned home.

Midnight. Still five hours to go.

I went upstairs and changed out of my blood-splattered clothes, even after a month I still think I got more blood on my clothes than down my throat. OK, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but still.

I looked around the room, wondering what to do next. I noticed one of my dresses that I had ripped on a hunt a couple of days ago and began to sew it up with the thread and needle Carlisle had bought for me. I remembered when he had first bought me the sewing kit, and smiled at the memory. My distracted thoughts meant I wasn't paying enough attention to the needle. I gave up after the third broken needle, I just couldn't concentrate on something as unimportant as sewing.

Not sure what to do with myself now, I finally went downstairs to check the clock again.

Half past midnight? Did I really only kill half an hour with my sewing?

Going into the living room, I picked up the book Carlisle had been reading to me earlier. I attempted to read it, but it just reminded me of sitting in his arms. After reading the same sentence half a dozen times, I threw the book down with disgust. I collapsed backwards, and my movement sent up a wave of Carlisle's woodsy scent that still lingered in the fabric. I smiled and just enjoyed its aroma for a few seconds, while wishing I could be with Carlisle for real. I simply lay there for a while and my mind drifted to when I had been sat here last night. Carlisle's uttering those three words that meant so much. How I had leant forward and kissed him, because I had wanted him to know he had not upset me, that he had in fact made me happier than I could ever had imagined, that I loved him too, with all my heart. I savoured that moment, our first kiss, the feel of his lips on mine, so gentle and tender, and all the love I could feel in that moment. As he kissed me, and classical music played gently in the background. The music got louder and louder. Wait, there was no music. I opened my eyes, I was still sat on the sofa, but I was alone, and loud piano playing filled the house, showing the player's annoyance at my train of thought.

I walked back upstairs and down the hallway to Edward's room, and timidly knocked on the door.

"Come in, Esme," he called.

"Are you sure you're OK with this?" I asked quietly.

Edward sighed and the music stopped. "In theory, yes. In practise, please stop thinking about kissing my father."

"Sorry."

Edward chuckled. "I think that might be the first time you've ever apologised out loud." I gave a slight smile, still worried about if he was more upset than he was letting on.

"Do you mind if I sat in here and listen?" I asked.

"No, not all." I sat down on the edge of Edward's bed. I looked around curiously; I had never been in Edward's room before. Aside from the piano, the main feature of the room was a stack of records beside a gramophone.

I watched Edward's hands move across the piano keys with interest, pleased with something to distract me from counting down the minutes until Carlisle would come home. I started to fidget unnecessarily at the thought. I was really beginning to hate the waiting; it felt like I was going to jump out of my skin with impatience.

Edward stopped playing and sigh. "Would you like me to show you how to play?"

I don't think I'll be very good.

"It might take your mind off of Carlisle for a while, and that would be good for both our sakes."

Well, I suppose I have nothing better to do. I walked over and sat beside Edward on the piano bench.

A while later I gave a frustrated sigh. "I'm afraid I'm not very good, Edward." I was surprised I wasn't testing Edward's patience with my sub-standard attempts at learning piano.

"It does take time, Esme."

"Well, I think I'll leave it to the experts for now," I told him fondly.

I went to check the clock in the hallway again. Twenty minutes past one in the morning. Darn clock, can't it go faster?

I went upstairs and tried to read a different book. I got about halfway through until the plot took a romantic twist and my thoughts instantly turned back to Carlisle. Knowing I would get no more reading done now, I threw the book down in disgust. I was tempted to go see what time it was, but I knew it would still be at least a couple of hours away from Carlisle's return at five in morning.

I collapsed onto the bed, wishing I could sleep and dream of Carlisle. Instead I did the next best thing, allowing my mind to drift yet again to the blissful afternoon we'd spent together. I was getting to the part where Carlisle kissed me for the second time when Edward's shout broke my train of thought.

"Esme!" he shouted exasperatedly.

Sorry, Edward!

Unable to contain myself any longer, I rushed down to the clock. Ten minutes to three in the morning! Really? That's all?

Walking back into living room, I saw my discarded knitting needles. I could finish my unidentified wool object.

I had forgotten to factor in my minds tendency to wonder while I knitted. Halfway through re-running yesterday afternoon for the millionth time, Edward's voice again broke through my contemplation.

"Would you like to play a game of chess?" he asked. I was fairly certain he was just trying to distract me, not that I can blame him. It must have been uncomfortable for him, being forced to listen to my thoughts.

Sorry, Edward! I know I'm not making this any easier for you!

Edward just shook his head exasperatedly and sighed. "Do you want to play a game or not?"

"You cheat," I reminded him indignantly. He smirked slightly. "I promise I'll try my hardest not to."

Halfway through the game, I found myself remembering the games I had played with Carlisle. I smiled to myself, and then my thoughts unconsciously turned to our first kiss, as they had done all night.

Edward groaned. "Well, you've certainly found a good way to make me want to block your thoughts."

I smiled. "Maybe that will mean I actually win one."

"Or not." He moved his queen. "Checkmate," he announced with a smirk.

"Cheat," I teased as I moved to stand up. What time is it now? Feeling more and more obsessive, I went to check the clock once more.

Quarter to four in the morning. An hour and a quarter to go.

"Another game, Esme?" Edward called from the other room. Well, since it past the time so quickly first time.

"I'd love to, Edward." I told him as I sat down again.

Halfway through the game, I heard Carlisle's footsteps approaching the house. He must have finished early.

"You win," I told Edward even though the game wasn't finished, gently pushing the newly fixed king down.

He looked at me confused. "There's no footsteps, Esme. You're hearing things. I never knew it was even possible for vampires to do that."

I felt all my giddy anticipation drain out of me. I looked at the chessboard with disgust, not able to feel any excitement about the idea of playing another game. The only thing I had enjoyed all night was when I had been able to just sit down and think of Carlisle, but I couldn't do that without torturing Edward.

"You know, I was thinking I might go hunt for a few hours before going to college."

But we hunted in the evening... oh! No, Edward, you don't have to leave.

"I just need to clear my head."

Off my thoughts. No, Edward! I won't run you out of your own home.

"You're not." And with that he was gone.

I walked back over to the sofa and collapsed on it again, allowing Carlisle's still lingering, if only just, scent to wash over me. I closed my eyes, but this time I didn't think of what had happened yesterday, but what would happen once Carlisle came home. Would he kiss me again? We had all of eternity stretching ahead of us. I allowed myself to get lost in my daydream. A future of kisses, of Carlisle in a suit and me in a white dress, of days spent in happy household bliss.

"What you are up to, Mrs. Cullen?" Carlisle asked, curling his arm around my waist as he sat down next to me.

"Just a bit of sewing. You and Edward go through shirts like no one's business."

Carlisle chuckled. "Where is our son, anyway?"

"He was getting ready for college." Just then I heard footsteps on the stairs and Edward came into the room.

"I got to get going. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Edward," we both called together as he left. Soon his footsteps could no longer be heard. I turned my attention back to my husband. He was smiling.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just love you so much," he whispered passionately. Gently, his lips brushed against me. A sensation I could never grow tired off. His arms around my waist, his lips on my mine.

"I love you too," I managed to whisper against his lips before joining them to my mine again.

"Esme? Esme?" Carlisle's voice was gentle, questioning. My eyes flew open. There he stood, looking at me in confusion.

"Carlisle!" I exclaimed excitedly.

He smiled. "Morning, Esme."

"Morning, Carlisle."

I stood up then, rushing forward to hug him before I could even think to stop myself.

"Carlisle," I whispered fervently, unable to believe he was really back. Those twelve hours had been torturously long.

"Esme," he said my name with equal fervour. I hesitated for a second before standing on my tiptoes to brush my lips against his.

"I love you," he murmured when the kiss finished, ghosting his lips across my forehead.

"I love you too," I replied.

A few seconds passed in comfortable silence, as I absorbed the fact he was truly home, and I was truly back in his arms for real, not daydreaming.

"Where's Edward?" he asked, looking around.

"He went for a hunt before college."

He picked up the book I had discarded earlier, the one he had read to my last night.

"Where did we get to?" he asked, thumbing through the pages. I stayed silent, not knowing since I had not really been concentrating on the story. "Here we are." I smiled happily as we got into the same embrace as before, laid together on the sofa. Carlisle began to read again, but again I couldn't listen to the words. I was too busy concentrating on the fact he was really lying next to me. I thought of my daydream, like so many of the daydreams I had had of Carlisle as a human, it was nothing than that, a daydream. If only for now. As I lay in Carlisle's embrace, I knew that the future I had always dreamed of was now possible, but for now I was happy to stay in the present. The two of us together.

"I love you." It was only when I noticed Carlisle's voice had cut off its reading I realized I had spoke out loud.

He smiled at me. "I love you too," he whispered before kissing me gently.

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