On a warm afternoon in the Mushroom Kingdom, Rosalina was strolling her way to the local golf links. Accompanying her was her designated caddie, Starlow.

"Holy Moo Moo Cow I can't believe I'm hanging out with Rosalina I've heard so much about you and now I'm seeing you in person this is so surreal Holy Monty Moley we're gonna have so much fun together don't you live on a comet I love your dress it was so nice of Princess Peach to arrange this!" Starlow gushed.

"Yes, it was. It's a shame she was too busy to join us today, but it's always a pleasure to meet a friend of hers," said Rosalina. "Anyway, it seems that we've arrived."

Ahead of them was a series of golf courses. The entry building had a sign that read, "The Golf Club".

"Oh, I get it!" said Starlow. "The Golf Club! Because it's a club. And you golf with a club! Haha, that's… really not funny…"

"Ah, boy… She would not like Lubba," thought Rosalina.

Once Starlow's revulsion subsided, they entered the building to collect their golf clubs. Once inside, something caught Rosalina's attention.

"What is it, Rosalina?" asked Starlow. She looked in the direction that Rosalina was staring and saw Kamek and Bowser staring back.

"Kamek…" said Rosalina.

"Rosalina…" said Kamek.

"Bowser…" said Starlow.

"…Who are you again?" asked Bowser.

"I'm your old friend, Chippy!" Starlow teased. Bowser growled at her.

"So what brings you two here?" Rosalina asked.

"We're here to golf. Duh!" said Bowser.

"The Koopa King likes to golf, huh? Shouldn't you be plotting your next kidnapping or something?" Starlow asked.

"Just because I'm evil doesn't mean I can't hit the links now and then! Besides, this wasn't my idea. It was-"

Suddenly Larry appeared, a golf bag slung over his shoulder. "Yo Pops, I got the golf clubs! You ready to start-"

Larry stopped talking when he saw Rosalina. "Hey, it's Rosalina!" he grinned. Bowser glared at him.

"Um, I mean… Rosalina…" said Larry.

"Larry…" said Rosalina.

"Kamek…" said Starlow.

"Okay, let's not start this again!" Kamek shouted. "You know, I wasn't planning on doing much besides practicing my swing. But with you here, I'm feeling a bit competitive…"

"What are you saying?" asked Rosalina.

"I challenge you to a golf match! One on one!"

"That sounds like fun. I accept."

"Oh, it's gonna be fun alright," Kamek said, rubbing his palms together.

Soon…

Bowser, Larry and Starlow were standing by as Rosalina and Kamek golfed. Starlow and Larry's eyes were twinkling with excitement, while Bowser's eyes were glazed with boredom.

"Rosalina is so gonna wipe the floor with him," said Starlow.

"Are you kidding? Kamek's a force to be reckoned with! He's totally gonna win," said Larry.

"Is Kamek the queen of space?"

"Is Rosalina the best Magikoopa in the world?"

"Best in the world? Keep dreaming, shrimp."

"Who are you calling shrimp, twinkle star?"

As Larry and Starlow continued arguing, Bowser thought, "thank goodness this is the last hole."

Levitating above the ground, Kamek struck the ball with his club, sending it onto the green. Shortly after, Rosalina did the same, controlling her club with her wand. When it was Kamek's turn again, he successfully rolled the ball into the hole.

"Ha! I told you!" said Larry.

"It's not over yet! Rosalina still has a turn left!" said Starlow.

Rosalina gently tapped the ball with her putt, pushing it down a slope, over a small bump, and into the hole.

"It's a draw!" Larry and Starlow exclaimed in unison. Bowser grunted, unimpressed.

"Good game!" Rosalina said, pumping her fist. Kamek, however, was not satisfied. "Unacceptable! There has to be a winner!" he griped.

"It's not about winning and losing, Kamek. It's about how you play the game."

"Yes it is, and you play like a cheater!"

"What do you mean?"

"You use that fancy wand of yours to swing the club for you! That can't be fair!"

Rosalina raised her eyebrow. "I don't see how that's any different than you floating."

Kamek growled. "How about a rematch then? This time without magic?"

Rosalina nodded. "I accept. I'll meet you in an hour."

Rosalina and Kamek went their separate ways, followed by Starlow and Larry respectively.

"Let's go golfing, Larry said. It will be fun, Larry said," Bowser grumbled.

Soon…

Rosalina swung her golf club repeatedly, trying to adjust to the "hands on" approach. However, her movements were clumsy and her drive was weak. "This is so hard. How does anyone golf without a wand?"

"I think your dress is part of the problem," said Starlow. "It takes up too much room."

"Perhaps you're right," Rosalina said, looking at her gown. "I should change into something more sports friendly." She waved her wand and, in a flash of light, her outfit transformed. Her regal dress was replaced with a miniskirt, her heels became golf shoes, and white tights formed on her legs.

"Let's do this!" Rosalina exclaimed. She grabbed her golf club, raised it skyward, and struck the golf ball with all her might. It flew out of bounds, skipped across a pond, and plunged into a Monty Mole's burrow.

"I told you this would happen sooner or later," said one Monty Mole.

"Oh, shut up," said the other.

"Well… At least you go it into a hole," said Starlow. Rosalina shook her head, pinching the skin between her eyes. "I wish Daisy was here."

"Hey, do you need some help?" someone asked. Rosalina and Starlow turned around and saw a girl with brown hair, pigtails, a blue top and black shorts. "You look like you're new to this."

"Well… sort of," Rosalina said, blushing.

"That's okay! I'd be happy to teach you a thing or two," said the girl. "My name's Plum. What's yours?"

"It's Rosalina."

"And I'm Starlow!"

"Cool, cool. Now could you show me that swing again?" Plum asked.

Rosalina raised her club, but before she could swing, Plum held out her hand and said, "freeze!" Rosalina stood in place as Plum moved beside her.

"Okay, when you swing your club, you want your stance to be aligned with the ball. Position your feet like this… Good! You also want to balance your weight on the balls of your feet, keep your shoulders parallel, and relax your grip slightly. Oh, and when you start your backswing…"

As Plum lectured on and on, Kamek was training in a different part of the course. Larry and Bowser were watching, but neither of them liked what they saw.

"I've got this, I've got this… Nyah!"

Kamek swung his club, barely keeping his balance. Instead of flying through the air, the ball rolled to the side and into a bush.

"Something tells me this is going to be a long match," said Larry. He looked at Bowser and saw his annoyed expression. "Why the long face, Pops?"

"I came here to golf, not to watch other people golf! Watching golf is boring!"

"Then go golf. Nobody's stopping you."

"I can't! Kamek was supposed to be my caddie! You don't expect me to carry my own stuff, do you?"

"…Yes."

"Well I won't! I'm a king, darn it!" Bowser whined, crossing his arms.

"…I'm gonna go check on Kamek," said Larry as he walked over to the Koopa wizard. "So how goes the training?"

Kamek swung his club and missed the ball completely, instead splashing dirt into the air.

"That great, huh?" Larry muttered as he brushed soil off his mohawk. Kamek groaned and threw his club to the ground. "This is impossible! How does anybody golf without floating?!"

"Do you need help, or something?" somebody asked. Larry and Kamek turned around and saw a girl with green hair, a crimson top, and purple shorts. Her eyes were blood red, and both Koopas found this unnerving.

"No, I do not need help! I've got this under control!" Kamek snapped, waving his club.

The girl grinned and shook her head. "Doesn't look like it to me."

"Who do you think you are?!"

"I'm Helen. Who are you?"

"Who am I? I'm Kamek, the top wizard in the Koopa Troo-"

Larry threw his hand over Kamek's mouth. "What my friend here is trying to say is that he'd love some help!"

"Alright, let me show you the ropes," said Helen.

"What gives, Larry?" Kamek asked, pushing Larrry's hand away.

"This is your chance to improve. Don't blow it," Larry whispered.

"Ugh, fine. But she better help me win."

Helen took Kamek's golf club and stood over the ball. "So what you want to do is stand like this, hold the club like this, and…"

While Helen instructed Kamek, Larry walked back over to Bowser. "Check it out! Kamek's got somebody training him now!"

"Who cares? This is still gonna be a snore-fest," Bowser grumbled.

"Whaddya say we make this more interesting then?" Larry asked.

"Interesting? How?"

One Hour Later…

Starlow, Plum, Helen, Larry and Bowser were watching the rematch between Rosalina and Kamek. Oddly enough, Bowser was fully engrossed this time. "Come on… Pull through…" he thought.

Rosalina clubbed her ball, sending it a great distance onto the fairway. "Go, Rosie, go!" Starlow cheered.

Kamek clubbed his ball, sending it over a sand trap and onto the green. Helen gave him a thumbs up.

Soon, they both knocked their golfballs into the hole, though Rosalina finished one shot earlier than Kamek did. Plum marked the score as -1 for Rosalina and 0 for Kamek.

"What the-?! That makes no sense!" said Starlow.

"What doesn't make sense?" asked Plum.

"Why does she get a minus one? She got the ball in first!"

"No, no, a minus one is a good thing! In golf, negative points mean you're winning, while positive points mean you're losing."

"So why can't it be the reverse like in every other game?"

"That… is a question I do not have an answer for."

The crowd moved on to the next hole. This time, Rosalina scored a par while Kamek scored a bogey, bringing the score to -1/+1.

"Come on, Kamek! Amp it up!" said Larry.

For the third hole, Rosalina tried to take a shortcut, but hit a tree. Kamek played it safe, and by the time they finished, the score was +3/0.

"Oh, dear… Not one of my best decisions…" Rosalina sighed.

The match raged on, with each contestant alternating between dazzling successes and humiliating failures. By the time they reached the 18th hole, the score was neck-and-neck.

"Here we go again…" said Bowser.

Everyone watched intently as Rosalina and Kamek took turns hitting the ball, both golfers doing much better than when they began. Soon, they arrived on the green, with nobody in the lead.

"Aw, man… This is gonna be close…" said Starlow.

Rosalina gripped her putter and gently struck the ball. It rolled over the grass, towards the hole, and…

...stopped. Starlow gasped, and Bowser's eyes widened.

"She didn't get it!" Larry exclaimed. "Kamek, this is your chance!"

Kamek took his putter and, in a swift motion, whacked the ball. It raced across the green, rolled around the rim of the hole…

…and fell in. Everybody gasped, including Bowser.

"I WIN! I win, I win, I win!" Kamek cheered. "How does it feel, Rosaloser? I won and you lost!"

Rosalina clapped. "Congratulations! That was a great match!"

"…You're congratulating me?"

"Of course I am. You played well, and I commend you for that."

"No! You're supposed to be angry!"

"Why would I be angry over a good game?"

"GRRRRR!"

While Kamek was grinding his teeth, Larry shuffled up to Bowser, a devious grin on his face. "I believe you owe me ten coins," he said. Bowser grumbled and handed Larry the money.

"Ten coins? For what?" Kamek asked.

"Oh, we made a bet on who would win-"

Bowser threw his hand over Larry's mouth, but it was already too late.

"YOU BET THAT I WOULD LOSE?!" Kamek exclaimed, staring at Bowser in disbelief.

"Nothing personal! It's just that losing is kind of your thing. Then again, it's kind of my thing too…"

Kamek fumed until Rosalina placed a hand on his shoulder. "But you didn't lose this time. And the important thing is that Larry had faith in you."

"Don't give me that storybook nonsense!" Kamek snapped, brushing her hand away. "This is the worst victory I've ever had!"

"Pretty sure it's the only victory he's ever had," Larry muttered.

"I heard that!" Kamek yelled.

"Regardless, it was nice golfing with you. I think I'm ready to call it a day," said Rosalina.

"Yeah, me too," said Starlow. "See you around!"

As Rosalina and Starlow floated away, Helen approached Kamek. "Dude, lighten up. It was a good game."

Kamek grumbled something unintelligible and stomped off. Helen and Plum looked at each other and shrugged.

"Welp, there goes your caddie, Pops. Whaddya gonna do now?" Larry asked.

"Grrr, I guess I'll just… Wait a sec! Why don't you be my caddie?"

Bowser looked over his shoulder and saw Larry running off. "Larry! Get your shell back here!" he roared, chasing after him. Meanwhile, Kamek was exiting the Golf Club.

"Goodbye! I hope you had a good time!" said a Birdo staff member. Kamek waved his wand and changed the logo from "The Golf Club" to "The Bad Pun."

"Hey! Change that back!"

"No!"

Later, at Peach's Castle…

Rosalina and Starlow had just finished telling Peach about their day. They were all standing in the castle foyer.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you had a good time," said Peach. "I wish I could have been there to see it."

"It's fine, Peach. I understand you're busy with damage control due to this 'paper incident'…" said Rosalina.

"Yes, the two Bowsers really did a number on things. But the good news is that all the paper people are back in the book."

"Not all of them," said a voice.

The three girls turned and saw two figures standing in the doorway. One was familiar, and one was not.

Plum and Helen are characters from Mario Golf games, in case anyone didn't catch that. Also, I'm going to talk about the "business" next chapter.