A/N: Hey, I bet you guys thought you weren't getting one today, well so did I, but I managed to write this all in one day, today! It was a BEAR! to write. I tried to write it sooner and absolutely nothing came to me. I couldn't figure out how to start the chapter. But, I pulled through for you guys so you're going to reward me with REVIEWS! I love you guys! Enjoy!

Chapter 36

Greg sat on his bed a bowl of oatmeal in front of him for breakfast. After he'd had his shower and slept for over eight hours solid afterward, still plagued with vague and distant nightmares, he'd felt better, more rested. Although he'd felt physically better, he didn't feel much better emotionally. He didn't struggle with what was real and imaginary, and his fears weren't so overwhelming that he felt he had to hide under the blanket, but he felt empty. He pushed his food around in the bowl not wanting to actually eat it or drink the apple juice beside it. Catherine was with him now. It turned out that Warrick had stayed almost two days without leaving. She was looking at him sympathetically. He didn't want sympathy, he just wanted to go home. No, not my apartment, no there, it started there. Somewhere else, surely someone would take me in for a few days.

"Greg, you really should eat that." it was a soft reminder that he knew he should follow. He sighed and actually scooped some into the spoon at took a bite. It was bland. He gulped it down, the familiar lump of emotions trying to break loose. He drank some juice to force it down. It was sweet and yet bland. He took another bite quickly followed by a drink but the lump continued to grow. Not too long ago he would have given anything for a little bit of food he'd been so hungry, during the first kidnapping.

Now, he could barely take a few bites he detested food so much. He felt guilty about it but he couldn't help it either. The lump grew. He was seeing James, eating his grilled cheese with a soda while the man he never knew the name of cut him up. He might as well have brought popcorn. The memory made Greg want to get sick, all sight of food reminded him of that now. He tried desperately to gulp down the lump but it wouldn't go. And then he felt the silent tears streaming down his face, dropping the spoon and drawing his knees to his chest resting his head upon them. He ignored his ribs complaints.

"Oh Greg, it's okay, things will get better." she wrapped her arms around him, rocking him slightly and ran her fingers through his hair. He didn't cry uncontrollably like he had with Warrick, that was the first and only time he did that, now he just cried strongly and silently. He just wallowed in the comfort she provided wishing she could just make it go away, that they all could make it go away. But they couldn't, none of them could. No matter how much support they were providing him it all just came back so he continued to sob into her shoulder, not knowing what else to do.

"Greg, it might help if you talk about it, just talk to me sweety." he shook his head into her shoulder, he couldn't talk about it, that would be reliving it, going through it again.

"Please, just try, I'll be right here with you. It'll be easier to help you if you talk to us." he was going to say no, but again he felt something change though he would never be able to say what, just like when he was able to let go of the blanket and come out. Something changed.

"I can't do this." he sobbed.

"Why don't you think so Greg?" she cued for information. She wanted to know what his perspective was, what was he seeing?

"I keep seeing them. Everything. Everything I do reminds me of all the things they did. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even shower without it reminding me of what they did." his sobs slowly subsided. She leaned him back so she could look him in the eye.

"How bout this, what did they do that you are reminded of when you eat." he looked away not sure he could go through it, telling someone else.

"Greg, we can't help you through this unless you tell us. We aren't going to judge you or think you're weak because we know you're a very strong person. Trust me."

"When…when they were trying to get the name, after Nick gave me that name to tell them, before the video conference. They were cu-cu-cutting me up, real bad. James uh, he was eating grilled cheese like a person eating popcorn at a show. And I I was so hungry, he just sat there, watching the show." the tears reappeared and he was shaking slightly. Saying out loud had made it real somehow.

"Where's the most relaxing favorite get away spot you go to?" he looked at her surprised.

"Ummm…the beach."

"Okay, imagine yourself sitting on the beach, perfectly free and unharmed, eating grill cheese."

"Umm..is that going to help?"

"Just try, close your eyes, imagine yourself on the beach, and take a bite of food."

"Do I have to eat the oatmeal? It's gross." he looked at her perfectly serious."

"Just a few bites to see if it works, then you can ask for something else. Does that work?" he nodded unsure, but hoping this would work. He really was hungry. He got a spoonful of the oatmeal then closed his eyes until the image of his favorite beach on a perfect day consumed his mind and he took a bite. The revulsion tried to rise up with the image of James but he doubled his efforts in the beach image and took a second bite. It worked.

"It works, can we get something else now?"

"Sure, what would you like?"

"Two Santa Fe sandwiches from Carl's and a coke?" she smiled at him.

"That's what sounds good huh?" he nodded.

"If you promise to eat it all, I'll get if for you."

"Is there a time limit on how long it takes me to eat?"

"No"

"Deal." she could see there was a smile struggling to break free, it didn't quite make it, but the signs were there. He would pull through this, in time. She waited until Warrick arrived before she left for the food. He smiled warmly at him.

"Hey Greg, how are you feeling." he wasn't expecting an answer more than a shrug.

"Okay I guess." he beamed.

"Hey, you're talking, it's nice to hear you talk again."

"Yeah. How are you."

"Sore but good."

"Sore?" Greg inquired slightly panicked. Busted. Stupid stupid stupid. He didn't know! Why did I say that?!

"Uh yeah, but I'm fine."

"What happened?" he could hear the panic in Greg's voice intensifying.

"Umm..I got in a bit of a fight, I'm fine."

"How did this fight end Warrick?" he didn't answer, he so didn't want to tell Greg he got shot, twice.

"Umm…I kind of got shot." the horror quickly engulfed Greg's expression.

"I'm fine really, I've even been released already, promise, I'm fine."

"O-okay, is everyone else okay though? No one else got hurt, right?" Warrick mentally cursed every gram of Greg's intelligence.

"Ummm…"

"What happened? Who else got hurt?" he could hear the panic increase.

"Everyone is okay Greg, but…Sara got shot, you know about Catherine, and Archie got beat up and shot, and Nick got roughed up pretty bad with you, but everyone is okay now."

"Nick? What happened to Nick?" he stared at him wide-eyed.

"Uh, you don't remember?"

"No, I remember all of it, I just…I just know what was real and what wasn't."

"What happened?"

"I remember being in a room, when I first woke up, I saw Nick and tried to wake him up but he was seriously unconscious. I tried to open the door but it was locked, I just kept trying. Then they must have been able to hear me and they got mad, and a guy came in and kicked me around some. I managed to get into a corner before I passed out again."

"yeah." Warrick mentioned encouragingly.

"When I woke up again Nick must have woken up, he'd thrown up and moved, but I was too afraid to move so I just sat there. I fell asleep again I think, when I woke up Nick had thrown up and was closer to me so I scooted over to him and tried to wake him up but he wouldn't respond."

"Yeah, we found out he had a serious concussion. Apparently it took a couple of knocks to subdue him." Greg grimaced but continued slowly. He was glad to be saying this to Warrick, he felt comfortable telling him, or at least as comfortable as one could get talking about such things.

"At some point the guy came back, he talked to me about how they would get the name and how they would kill one of us quickly…and…and they'd keep one of us around for years as…entertainment.." he gulped.

"Ah Greg, we would have found you. We wouldn't have given up. We wouldn't let them do that."

"I know. Then he was going to cut up Nick and I don't know, I guess I snapped and yelled at him. He got mad and gave me the cuts on my arms and chest then he left. Nick woke up again later. We talked and he told me to just let them have at him next time, he was slurring really bad and was unconscious barely finishing the sentence. That was what scared me the most."

"He's okay Greg, just keep on remembering that he's okay." Greg nodded, pausing for a moment trying to get a handle on a new wave of emotions before continuing.

"The next time they came back I was hiding behind the door and attacked them. Nick woke up and joined the fight. I was able to make a break for the door but James tackled me and somehow got on top of me. I think he shoved something in my mouth, I'm not sure, but I lost consciousness. It was after that that things got…weird."

"Weird?"

"Yeah."

"What happened after that?"

"Well, they'd be attacking me over and over again, like the first time, or they'd be hurting you or Nick, but things would be wrong. Things like there would be three of each person, or they'd be lime green, multi-colored and not in the usual way, or they'd be stretching and twisting in shape. You know the computer screen saver where it looks like a ball is rolling around under the screen?"

"Yeah"

"That happened a lot but there would be dozens of balls. Sometimes I'd be floating, or someone would be inside out, but for some reason I couldn't tell it wasn't real. It was…scary."

"I'm sure it was Greg. They gave you a sedative but it mixed with the other meds in your system, it made you hallucinate. But there was nothing wrong with being scared." Greg nodded.

"Other things would happen…but I was always able to tell they weren't real."

"What were they? Greg?" he could tell Greg was struggling at whether to tell him or not, and it was a fierce struggle at that. He suddenly grabbed the juice and downed it as if he hadn't had something to drink in months.

"Greg? It's okay to tell me, I won't laugh or get mad or whatever. I'm just here to listen."

"You, you guys would be there. I'd be floating in the room, you would be…you'd be….attacking me….hitting and kicking….Grissom would be in the back of the room…laughing and cheering you on…"

"Oh Greg, you know we wouldn't attack you or hurt you in any way right? You know we couldn't hurt you."

"I know that, I always knew it wasn't real but, it scared me. The one thing I knew wasn't real was what scared me the most. I just, I can't stop seeing it, every time I close my eyes, that's what I see and it scares me." Greg pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, his elbows resting on his knees, the tears meandering down his face, the only sign he was crying.

"Greg, I don't know what to tell you, I mean you already know that they aren't real and that we'd never do that. How often do these dreams happen?"

"Every time I close my eyes. I can see it right now even. It's not the drugs anymore, I'm just remembering, but I can't make it go away. I just want it to go away." he gulped the tears coming faster as he ground his hands harder into his eyes as if to crush the nightmares. Warrick was astounded. He hadn't expected them that often. He scooped him into a firm but gentle hug, feeling Greg lean into him.

"Greg, I don't know for sure, but I hope that they eventually go away. I've never had to deal with something like this and I wish you didn't either. Just remember that when you need to talk you can call me any time, I don't care how late or early. Just call me, or come over to my house, or I can come to yours when you have these dreams. We'll watch something happy. You seen Finding Nemo yet?" he felt him shake his head into his shoulder.

"Well, whenever you have these dreams, you let me know, call me, have me come over, come to my place, any time, with or without warning, you're getting a key to my house, and we'll talk about them then we'll watch Disney movies, nice happy Disney movies, starting with Nemo, get them off your mind. How does that sound?"

"Okay."

"Good, just remember you can always talk to me okay, I'll always listen, no matter when or where." Greg sat back, ending the hug, and started to wipe away the tears from his face. Warrick brought him a cool wash cloth which felt marvelous against his skin.

"Thanks Warrick."

"No problem Greg, oh and when you have those dreams, just imagine us bowing down to the Great Blue Hawaiian Coffee King, who is immortal and godly." There it was, not a smile, but an attempt at one, it was wonderful to see the attempt.

"Sounds good. Oh Warrick, don't tell anyone okay. I don't want them to know."

"Okay Greg, I won't tell."

"Thank you." Catherine came into the room with a bag of food and a soda with a smile.

"Hey, I brought you some food. Remember you promised to eat all of it."

"I will. I'm actually hungry." she was about to say something when the phone rang. She answered as Warrick rolled the table to Greg and he dug through the bag producing the desired sandwiches. Catherine hung up a moment later.

"I have to go, that was Grissom saying something about Nick and needing parental supervision. I'm going to go see what's going on. Enjoy the food." she gave Greg a squeeze on the shoulder and then left. Warrick and he looked at each other and shrugged. Greg imagined himself on his favorite beach, all to himself, on a perfect, warm day, eating his sandwich, Warrick by his side.

A/N: Well, You like? There's maybe three chapters at the most left(of course last time I estimated I said eight, and I've written fifteen, so just ignore that estimate!) Let me know!