Author's Note:

Hello everybody and welcome to another chapter. This one is quite long again but it is hopefully entertaining. Well done everyone who recognised the TOS 'Unicorn Dog' last chapter and thank you for your continued support of this story.

I own nothing.

Avast Ye Enterprise

Jim Kirk would admit that he had difficulty deciding what the strangest thing he's seen as Captain of the Enterprise so far is but this was most definitely a strong contender.

A genuine stereotypical pirate suddenly appearing on his bridge is pretty hard to beat.

They had been running a cursory scan of a nebula when the ship jolted and there was suddenly a pirate standing in front of the veiwscreen. There was a long silence as Jim and the rest of the bridge gaped at him (Spock had even raised both eyebrows). The pirate in question looked just as you'd expect a pirate to look, he had a big black busy beard complete with plaits and wore a classic wide brimmed hat with feather and skull and cross bones emblem, his jacket was long and he had a belt with both a cutlass and flintlock pistol and most likely a few other weapons stashed away somewhere, on his feet were the classic tall boots and even one of his hands was replaced with a hook. In fact every inch of this man was perfect in terms of a stereotype pirate; he even had a parrot on his shoulder.

Jim finally regained the power of speech when the pirate strode towards him and stopped in front of Hikaru and Pavel's console demanding in a perfect piratey voice, "How did ye bring me here ye black-hearted swab?"

Jim sat up and gave the man a level stare, "I am Captain James T Kirk of the USS Enterprise and we did not bring you here but I want to know who you are and how you came to be on my bridge."

Jim's no nonsense tone caused the pirate to scowl fiercely at him but when the captain's gaze didn't waver he gave an answer, "I am Captain Riphook, one of the most dangerous men to sail the Spanish Main. I was on me ship carrying a valuable cargo when she lurched unnaturally and I suddenly found meself on this soulless vessel." As he was speaking Riphook had paced around Hikaru and Pavel and was now in front of Jim. He suddenly drew his flintlock and pointed it in Jim's face. The security team on the bridge had been on alert as soon as the pirate arrived and all had their phasers out and aimed in seconds. Riphook snarled dangerously, "Put down yer arms or yer Captain will get a piece of lead through his skull!"

Jim gestured for the officers to put down the phasers and although they looked wary at the idea they promptly obeyed. Seeing them do this Riphook grinned maliciously at Jim, "Now Captain, if ye do not want me to use this then ye'll send me back to my ship after ye've given me a suitable payment for my troubles."

Jim replied calmly despite the archaic weapon still trained on his head, "That'll take some time since we don't actually know how you got here in the first place and…"

The pirate cut him off, "Don't try to fool me Kirk, ye brought me here through some sort of witchcraft for yer own reasons and I will not be swayed by whatever lies ye can concoct." He pressed the flintlock against Jim's forehead, "I'll have me booty whether ye still be alive or not ye lily-livered…"

He got know further as at that moment he collapsed after Spock had stealthily administered a nerve pinch. Jim smiled at his First Officer, "Well Spock, you can now add 'pirate captain' to your 'people I've nerve-pinched' list."

"I do not see a reason for me to have such a list Captain."

Jim gestured to two security officers, "Take him to the brig until we've worked out how he got here and how to send him back." The two men swiftly hauled the unconscious Riphook up and dragged him off the bridge as Jim spoke to his First Officer, "Spock, I want you and Chekov to find out how this happened and how to reverse it. I'll get Doctor McCoy and a team to examine Riphook to see if he's actually a real pirate."

Spock nodded "Understood Captain." he turned to Pavel, "Mr Chekov, if you will come with me please."

"Aye sor."

It was a fair bit later when Jim was commed by McCoy, "Jim, I've got bad news for you."

"What is it Bones?"

"That pirate you wanted me to look at has escaped! I don't know how he got out of the cell but the guard on duty has been knocked spark out."

Jim quickly answered, "Bones, get the guard to sickbay. I'll get security to hunt Riphook down."

"You got it Jim."

The captain sighed at the thought of how ridiculous the announcement he was about to make was going to sound but he knew that Riphook was a very real threat and opened a ship-wide channel, "Attention all crew this is Captain Kirk. The Enterprise has an intruder roaming the ship, the intruder is a male…pirate. He is possibly armed and definitely dangerous and should be approached with caution. I want all vital areas of the ship to be guarded and all spare security officers to be searching the ship, Kirk out."

His announcement finished Jim got up to join the search.

Hikaru had come off duty shortly after Riphook was taken to the bridge and was training with his sword in an empty gym when he heard Jim's announcement. Thinking that he could be of some help he left the gym taking his sword with him and was suddenly met with a cutlass in the corridor. His reflexes serving him well, Hikaru moved swiftly out of the way of the swinging cutlass and brought his own sword up ready. Riphook smiled maliciously holding his cutlass which he had somehow recovered from security at some point and spoke, "Tis good to meet a man who can handle a blade. Ye may give me some entertainment as I cut ye into shark bait ye scurvy, yellow-bellied dog."

Hikaru answered the taunt with its modern equivalent, "Bring it."

The two instantly closed in on each other and their two blades clashed as their duel began. Hikaru's blade was longer and lighter which allowed him to be quicker in his swings and parries. However, his opponent was skilled with a cutlass and its heavier blade put more force behind its swings meaning that Hikaru could really feel each hit on his own blade. The duel continued with each participant defending and attacking in equal measure with neither one having the upper hand until Hikaru saw his chance. He managed to parry and quickly shove Riphook off balance causing the pirate to swing his sword to the side leaving his body unprotected. Hikaru quickly swung towards the opening but he suddenly switched the swing's direction causing it to clash against the cutlass at full force as Riphook brought it up to defend himself. As the two blades collided the weaker metal of the cutlass gave way to the stronger metal of Hikaru's sword causing the cutlass blade to snap off at the hilt and spin through the air away from the duel. Riphook gaped at the useless hilt for a few seconds before he was knocked out by Hikaru's boot as the helmsman gave him a solid roundhouse kick to the head.

As the pirate captain crumpled to the floor Hikaru looked up and saw Jim, Leonard, Pavel and several security guards were gaping at him with looks of awe while Spock gazed at the cutlass blade which had stuck in the wall beside his head with apparent mild interest. Hikaru gave them a casual smirk before doing a fancy twirl with his sword and pushed the button to make it fold away back into the hilt; he then casually sauntered down the corridor and passed them without a word respectfully nodding to his superior officers as he passed. As he carried on walking he heard Jim's voice, "You guys saw that too, right?"

Jim was once again sitting in the Command Chair a few hours later.

Spock and Pavel had worked out what had happened and how to fix it. The simple explination was that the nebula they had scanned had a previously unknown phenomenon inside which was activated by their scan causing it to briefly link up the Enterprise with a pirate ship. Why was still unknown but this knowledge allowed Spock and Pavel to re-link the two ships again long enough to send Captain Riphook back (albeit unconscious and minus one cutlass). Afterwards was the usual de-brief and report to Starfleet so they could warn other ships of the possible danger, there had been no casualties and the only injury was the brig guard how was only knocked out and would make a full recovery.

As Jim sat on the bridge he listened to Pavel giving an exciting rendition of the duel between Hikaru and Riphook and Jim was pretty sure that the helmsman was going to be the most popular guy on the ship for weeks. It was also likely that Hikaru was going to be bragging about beating a real pirate in a swordfight for months and Jim prepared himself for hearing about the duel a great many times. Eventually things grew quiet on the bridge with Pavel having finished his story of what happened and a peaceful silence reigned.

It was rudely interrupted by a loud voice, "Lily-livered swabbie!"

Jim looked around in confusion and the voice spoke again, "Cowardly dogs!"

All the bridge was now looking around in confusion.

"Yellow-bellied sea slugs!"

Jim stood up still looking for whoever was yelling out random piratey insults, "Who is that?"

"Swab the deck ye spineless land-lubber!"

Everyone was looking frantically for the owner of the mysterious voice that was now giving orders on top of insults.

"Work ye useless pile of jellyfish or I'll make ye walk the plank!"

Pavel turned to Jim looking worried, "Keptain, I cannot see vere ze voice ees coming from."

Something suddenly fluttered onto the teen's console causing him to jump in surprise. Pavel stared at the new addition to his station and found a parrot perched in front of him. The parrot stared back at him and tilted its head before speaking conversationally, "Pieces of eight."

Chekov continued to stare at the bird and then spoke to it, "Vere did you come from?"

Spock had come over to stand behind the teen and answered, "I believe this is the parrot that came aboard with Captain Riphook. It appears that in our haste to return the captain to where he came from we overlooked this parrot."

Jim joined his First Officer, "Well what do we do with it?"

Pavel had started stroking the parrot's neck feathers and he turned to Jim excitedly, "Keptain, can ve keep him?"

Jim looked at his navigator and was treated to the infamous 'puppy eyes', to make things harder the parrot had moved to the teen's shoulder and seemed to be giving the same look. He tried hard to resist but it wasn't long till Jim caved in, "Well we already have tribble and there's still that goose in Engineering so I guess a parrot isn't going to make much difference but you are responsible for it Pavel."

The boy beamed, "Sank you, I'll take wery good care of him."

Though inwardly hoping he hadn't made a mistake, Jim smiled back, "Well what are you going to call him?"

Pavel looked thoughtful, "I don't know he might already hawe a name so…"

The parrot loudly interrupted, "Jo-Jo, Jo-Jo!"

The teen grinned again, "I guess you're already called Jo-Jo zen?"

"Jo-Jo!"

Jim leaned down and began to stroke Jo-Jo's neck feathers, "Welcome to the Enterprise Jo-Jo."

Jo-Jo seemed to contemplate Jim's words before answering, "Avast ye Enterprise."

PS-So Jo-Jo the parrot has been added to the Enterprise menagerie. I did get his name from an actual parrot which is owned by someone I've met. The real Jo-Jo is an African Grey Parrot so that is the type that this Jo-Jo is. Please let me know what you thought and if you want to see more of Jo-Jo in the future.