A Lost Nagisa Chapter 34 Should I confess?
I opened my eyes rubbing them they were still heavy with sleep...I yawned stretching and turning over seeing Karma still asleep. The last time I had seen him asleep I was much closer...I couldn't help but want to be that close again...maybe even closer some how?
I laid there for a moment staring at his sleepy face...he looked so relaxed...so calm...well he was sleeping but...some how he looked like an angel..a mischievous angel with red hair.
A thought occurred to me, maybe I should make Karma breakfast! I mean...I could right? Hopefully, I wouldn't make a mess...and Karma wouldn't get mad, then throw meet out because I made a mess of his kitchen. Hopefully.
I sat up slowly trying not to wake the sleeping angel...no wait...that didn't suit him...devil...sleeping devil...yeah that was more like it.
I threw back the covers and stepped out of bed, I instantly missed the warmth of my blanket and wanted to crawl back under it. No Nagisa...be strong...I don't need warmth! I have to make Karma breakfast...I glanced over my shoulder to check if the devil was still sleeping, he was, good.
I made my way out of his room into the kitchen, I shivered slightly as my bare feet hit the cold tiles of the kitchen.
As I opened the fridge to look for some ingredients the thought of that dream came into my thoughts, it all felt so real...the heal of Karma's lips..the heat of his hand...his voice, it sounded so real and clear...even when...Karma got shot.
I wish it had been all real (besides Karma getting shot). I gripped the handle of the fridge tighter feeling a little annoyed.
What if Karma did like me? What if...maybe...maybe he did and..I just didn't notice? Maybe..he didn't...maybe he did like Okuda but...
Did...Have I had a chance all along...and I just hadn't taken it? If...that was the case...
(I-I...was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date with me!)
Okuda..she's already taken a step already...I haven't done anything...besides cry. What if it's too late?
I a carton of eggs and bacon out of the freezer and fridge setting them on the counter.
What if Karma had already decided he liked Okuda? Should I even try?
I began cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them.
What if I do confess and get rejected? What well Karma think of me? Will he hate me, not talk to me? Will I be able to bounce back from that, or will I just grow depressed and give up on life or something...
I sighed aloud slouching a little. I poured the eggs into a pan and the bacon into another pan.
But, what Bitch-Sensei said before...
( If you really like Karma, then you have to tell him...because even if he doesn't feel the same way he'll still be your friend.)
I was too impatient before, too impatient for results...too impatient to hear an answer...to make all this pain go away.
I stirred the eggs around in the pan with a spatula I found in a droor.
So...what do I do? What should I do...should...should I tell him?
I imagined Karma in front of me for a moment trying to confess to him, a huge wave of anxiety and fear washed over me in seconds, I allowed the thought to dissolve.
It-the thought is so scary. I could hardly say something like that aloud while I was alone, how could I say it to Karma's face? My heart raced already when I was around him...how could I-AH MY EYES ARE BURNING! Stir...stir...stir...
How could I confess to him if I was already so nervous around him? My heart was racing just thinking about this.
(I like you Karma...I like you Karma...I like you Karma...) I repeated the words in my head...(I like you...Karma, I like you Karma, I love you Karma-no to strong..)
Why couldn't I just say it? Why couldn't I just say that to his face...why did I have to be so scared!
"I like you..." I mumbled under my breath..."I like you.." I repeated..."I like you." I said a little louder.
"I like you!"
"What..?" Oh no,...no no no no no...I slowly turned looking to my side holding the handle of the pan in my hand in one hand and my spatula in another hand awkwardly.
Crap! Karma-how-when-how long has been there! "Uh-um...g-g-g-good m-m-morning..." My face was heating up. He was leaning against one of the kitchen walls. He yawned rubbing his eyes,
"I'm surprised...your up this early.." He muttered. He still sounded half asleep.
"I-uh-I-I-couldn't s-sleep...a-a-an-anymore.." Why was I stuttering so much! Karma stretched his arms behind his neck before putting his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants and walking over to me.
"What are you doing?" He looked at the pans I had on the stove. "Uh-um-uh..." Nagisa speak! Holy crap! "Hmm..." Karma said to himself.
He walked over to a droor pulling out a fork and picked up some of the eggs I was cooking putting them into his mouth, they were done.I was just burning them at this point...
"Not bad, but you should try adding spices to it. Taste better that way." Oh right, he was the food expert. I rolled my eyes,
"Okay cooking expert what would you add?" Woah where did that sassiness suddenly come from? Karma raised an eyebrow smiling making the sudden surge of sassiness vanish...
"W-what..would..y-y-y-you add?" My face was red again...He walked over holding his chin looking at the eggs and the spices that sat in the corner of his counter.
I stood there watching him throw random spices into the mixture that I didn't even know of. After a moment he stuck a piece of the food into my mouth making me forcefully swallow it.
Somehow Karma made my crummy eggs taste like haven! Or in his case...hell...( cause he was...like a demon and...nevermind..)
"Well?" I nodded in approval, the chef had done it again. "Hey, are you sure you didn't have have another nightmare?" I shook my head, aside from the one from last night I slept fine...even if I couldn't sleep anymore somehow I still felt tired.
Karma was staring at me.
"K-Karma?"
"Huh? Oh sorry...I was just..thinking about something." I wish I knew what he was thinking about...
"Well go sit down and I'll give you a plate." I nodded, walking over to the table in Karma's living room, I stopped.
I turned looking at Karma who was occupied by the food.
Should...I confess?
Can I confess?
Am I able to confess?
I stood there thinking for a moment...my hands forming into fist...
I...
I will confess...I will...confess...
When...Friday comes...
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I'll tell Karma how I feel about him.