Redemption and Ruin
Chapter Thirty-five
"Don't leave me," she begged through the bond.
"I'm right here. I won't leave you. We'll get through this. I'm here, Rey. I love you. We'll find a way. I promise."
She closed her eyes briefly, imaging him. Remembering how it felt to have his arms around her. How safe she felt. How warm it was, pressed up against him. She could feel his muscles ripple as he pulled her closer. How his breath felt against her neck. The little sigh of contentment he made.
"Rey, my beautiful Rey. It will be okay. I promise."
"Just don't leave me. I can't lose you. I need you."
"Try not to fight. I don't want him to hurt you. Please, for me…?"
Rey stumbled in the dimly-lit hallway and Hux snagged her arm over one of the burns. She hissed in pain and felt the worry from Ren immediately.
"I'm okay. I'm okay."
"Rey…"
"Just talk to me. Please. Don't leave me."
"I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm not letting go. Never again."
"Walk," Hux snapped, urging her forward as he yanked on her arm.
"Ren, I'm afraid."
"I know. Don't be. I'm here no matter what. What can I do?"
"Tell me a story. A memory. Something. Anything."
She tried to keep up with Hux. He walked in quick, confident strides. Military posture and position drilled into every fiber of his being. It was so different than Ren. Kylo had a tendency to stomp and clomp, his long legs eating up ground as he held his fists clenched at his sides.
Three Stormtroopers followed them, their blasters aimed at her back. She knew better than to fight. She was too injured for a battle. Besides, she didn't know where on the Finalizer they were taking Ren. He could be anywhere on the massive star ship. She assumed he would be confined to their rooms. At the same time, she wasn't even sure where Hux was taking her.
"When I first met you, I wanted to scare you far away. I didn't trust anyone. But you… you didn't know any boundaries. You didn't care that everyone else was afraid of me. You ignored it all. Do you remember why?"
"No… I remember being fascinated. You were so tall. Like a giant."
"You said I looked sad. You asked me why I was sad. If I missed my mother."
A door whooshed open and Hux shoved her forward.
"It sounds familiar."
"Then you tried to climb me like a tree." She could almost see the smile curving his lips beneath the mask.
She stepped into a suite of richly decorated rooms. It hardly looked like they were even on the Finalizer. Gone was metallic sterility that filled most of the ship. These were private rooms, personally decorated. Dark fabrics covered the furniture and everything seemed sharp. The entire room looked like a beautiful weapon. Sleek and elegant before it stabbed you in the back.
Hux pushed her toward a black nerf-hide-covered couch. "Sit," he ordered.
Two of the 'troopers remained outside in the hallway and one stood guard on the inside of the room. As if they could stop her. If she really wanted to, binders or no binders, saber or no saber, she could kill Hux before anyone blinked.
"You looked like one. And your ears…"
"You were fascinated with them. I remember," he said in her head, sighing. "Rey…"
"Don't go."
"I won't. I'm right here."
He fastened the binders around her wrists again. "Now, there are some ground rules. Break a rule or try and escape and it's Ren who will suffer. Do you understand?"
She nodded, her lips pressed into a hard line. She could still remember the pain from earlier. How helpless she was to save him. To help him. How she'd been frozen by Snoke. Powerless in the face of his pain. Powerless to save him. Never again.
"Good. You do not leave this room or go anywhere without my permission." His hand touched her shoulder, in a spot that ached. "This little beauty right here is linked to my comms and datapad. If you go outside of a predetermined radius, I will know. And Ren will pay dearly. I have his information as well. There is to be no contact between you unless either I or the Supreme Leader order it. No training sessions. No touching. No visits."
She tensed up at the very thought.
"I'm right here, Rey. I'm here. No matter what they do, they can't take this away. We're bound, you and I."
"Now, there will be… opportunities to earn such a privilege. Provided you behave and are a very good girl."
He sat on the couch beside her and his one hand was on her knee before slowly tracing up to touch the burn on her thigh. She tensed at his touch and let out a hiss when he pressed his thumb into the lightsaber burn.
"Rey! Rey, say something… Rey…"
She felt his panic. His fear. Rey bit her lip to keep from crying as Hux pressed down again, trying to get a reaction.
"I can be very generous with the right motivation," he said, his hand caressing the skin higher up. "Very generous."
"Ren, I can't… I can't…"
"Ssh, I'm right here. I'm right here. Listen to me. Listen to my voice. You'll be okay. I'm right here. I'm here. I'm with you. You're not alone."
"Hmm, don't want these to scar too badly. I'd hate for you to lose use of your arm." Hux glanced over at the 'trooper, who stepped away for a moment. "You do understand that it was necessary. You had to be punished."
"No, I didn't. You had no right!"
"Would you have rather died?"
"Yes!"
Crack!
Her head whipped to the side as his gloved hand collided with her cheek. "Ungrateful little scavenger." He griped her chin now, forcing her jaw closed. Pain bloomed across her face.
"Rey… Rey, baby, talk to me. Rey…"
"Ren, please, it hurts. I can't… I can't."
"I know. I know. I'll kill him for hurting you. I will. Rey…"
"If it was up to the Supreme Leader, if Ren hadn't refused, and if I hadn't intervened, you'd be dead now. Ren would be all alone. You don't want that, do you?'
She shook her head 'no' as best she could in his grip, tears welling in her eyes.
"Rey, don't listen to him. Don't… I wasn't going to let anyone hurt you."
"I won't let them hurt you."
"I thought not. If you're a good girl, he won't be hurt. If you fight me or disobey me, he will suffer. You don't want that. You don't want him to suffer, do you?"
She shook her head again.
The 'trooper returned with bacta patches and medical wrap. Hux let go of her chin and her head sagged forward.
"Rey, I'm right here. I'm right here."
He ripped her trousers further near the burn. She tensed. He took off his gloves and touched the mark, skin to skin. She dug the nails of her right hand into the fabric of the sofa, trying so hard not to react. To the pain and to his touch, a touch that felt so wrong. He had soft hands, unlike Ren's. Ren had callouses on his hands.
"It's me, Rey. I'm taking care of you. Think of me. You need to be treated. Please…"
"But you're not…"
"I know, I know."
"Where are you, Ren? Where did they take you?"
"Our rooms. It feels wrong without you here. Haunted."
She closed her eyes, trying to picture him. To see him in the rooms that belonged to them. Their home. Their soft bed. Dark, rumpled sheets and Ren, half-asleep and sprawled on his back as he played with her hair. Safe and warm. The lights turned low and barely there.
Lips touched the deep wound on her thigh and her entire body jolted of its own accord. Hux dug his thumb into the wound and a whimper escaped her lips.
"Be a good girl. Hold still."
"I can clean them myself."
"That's not an option." He slapped a patch down, smacking the burn, and she held back a scream.
"I'm here, Rey, I'm here. I'm here. Squeeze my hand. I'm here."
She grabbed the couch arm, pretending it was his hand. Pretending he was there. Anything that wasn't the horrific reality she was trapped in.
"The more you fight me, the more this will hurt," Hux said matter-of-factly.
"You don't need to do this. Please…"
"Hold still."
He grabbed her arm harshly. There were three distinct burns running up her right arm. One of them slashed through a scar from the blaster.
"I'm here. I'm here. This isn't real, Rey. I'm here. Listen to me. Listen to me. The pain is only in your mind. It's not real. You're okay. You're safe. I'm here."
"I need you."
"I know, baby, I know."
She could almost feel his hand on her cheek, where the skin still stung from the slap. She felt lips pressing a kiss to the inflamed skin and her body tensed. She knew Ren's lips. She knew every part of him. And this wasn't Ren. This wasn't his kiss.
Rey pushed at him with her bound hands. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" she cried. "Ren…"
"Ren can't save you. Only I can."
He thrust his hand into her hair and twisted, yanking her closer. She tried to push him away with her hands, tried to push against his chest, but he closed one hand around her neck and squeezed. Almost immediately, she saw stars.
"Ren! REN!"
Rey kicked her legs out reflexively, her lungs screaming for air. With his fist in her hair, Hux held her mostly paralyzed against his chest.
She could hear him screaming distantly in her head and hear his fists pounding against the door to their rooms. She could feel his fury. His fear.
"Talk to me. Talk to me, I need to know you're okay. Rey! Rey!"
"I can't… I can't breathe…"
His knuckles were torn and bones were shattered in his hands, but he kept pounding on the door. He kept trying to get to her. To save her.
Hot breath against her neck. Hux. "Fighting me only hurts you both. This would be much easier if you'd give in and behave. I don't want to hurt you."
The hand on her neck loosened a bit and she coughed, gasping for air.
"Rey!"
"Kylo… it hurts…"
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. This is all my fault, Rey."
"No, it's Snoke's. He did this."
"I'll kill them. I'll kill them both. For hurting you. I'll kill them."
"Will you behave? Or do I hurt your lover? Hmm?"
His hand traced her chin and tilted her face toward him. She sucked in air, her body trembling.
"Rey, no…"
"Don't hurt him. Please… don't hurt him."
"What will you do for me then?"
"I'll… I'll behave."
"What else?" His hand curved around her neck, slowly going lower. Tracing the thick fabric around her shoulders.
"Rey, no! Rey!" he screamed through the bond, his voice filled with panic and fear.
"I'll be good."
"How good?"
She lowered her head, her temples throbbing as Ren screamed through the bond, as he begged her not to.
Trembling, she pressed her lips to his pale cheek. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held her eyes closed tight. As Ren screamed and raged.
Hux tilted her head and she was pressed lips to lips with him. Her skin crawled, but all she could think about was Ren. About him being hurt. She had the power to spare him pain. She loved him too much to let him suffer.
"Rey…" It was a whisper filled with pain.
"Very good," Hux said, his hand stroking her loose hair. A chill ran down her spine. She hated this man. She hated his touch. He made her ill.
Rey went to pull away from him and he gripped her hair tight. "Ahh ahh, did I say you could move?"
"Please…"
"Not yet." He took her arm and ripped off the sleeve of her tunic. She cringed at the sound of fabric splitting.
"Rey…"
"I'm sorry…"
His touch was almost gentle this time as he covered the burns with bacta. He wound some cloth around her arm, holding the patches secure. He was careful not to pull it too tight. It seemed very much at odds with his earlier behavior. She stayed as still as possible even though every fiber of her body screamed to run or fight. Anything but staying put.
He pressed a kiss to the outside of the bandage and her skin crawled again. It felt so wrong.
"Kylo…"
"I'm here. I'm here."
He sounded tired. Drained. She felt the same.
"You need to rest," Hux muttered. "C'mon. Get up."
She followed him reluctantly deeper into the suite. He opened an interior door that revealed a rather opulent bedroom. The bed was nearly twice the size of the large one she shared with Ren. The bedding in here was a crimson red like blood. The fabric had a sheen to it. The lights were dim and the room seemed dark. Almost evil. Like the man before her.
The door closed behind them, trapping her in this room. Trapping her with him. She glanced back at the exit, feeling a pain in her chest. Each step took her further away from him.
"I'm here…"
"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me."
"I won't."
He sat down on the bed and motioned for her to join him. She shook her head. She didn't want to be anywhere near him. Not now and not ever. She wanted Ren.
"I'm here."
Warm. Safe. Together. She could picture them, tucked up together and feel his heart beating in time to her own. His hand in her hair as he held her. How she let one hand trace the scars on his body. How right it felt to be with him. To be near him.
Her heart ached and her fingers touched the hem of the scarf. His scarf.
"You need rest," Hux said.
She shook her head and found a spot on the floor, the duracrete cold and hard against her aching body but she didn't care. She didn't want anything to do with him. The bed might be big but it wasn't big enough.
His boots rang on the floor as he approached her. He crouched down beside her and tugged on the scarf encircling her neck. "What is this, hmm?"
"Don't… don't take it," she pleaded.
"It's his, isn't it?"
She nodded.
Hux gripped the fabric, bunching it up in his fist.
Rey put her bound hands up, her hands on his chest. "Please, don't. Don't… It's cold… Don't…"
He loosened his grip a bit, listening to her.
"Please, it's cold. Hux, don't…"
His hand drifted down, resting on her lower back. She tensed immediately. She wanted to push him away. She wanted to scream.
"Rey… It's okay. Let him take it. It's not worth it."
"It's warm in my bed."
She shook her head. "I… I'd rather sleep here."
He started to pull on the heavy fabric again and she panicked.
"No, please, no… don't… don't…" She gripped the scarf tightly. "Please…"
"Kiss me. Like you mean it."
She trembled. "What?"
"I want you to kiss me, Rey. Kiss me like you mean it. Like I'm him. Do it and I'll let you keep that rag tonight."
"Let it go. It's not worth it."
"Oh… okay…"
She closed her eyes, picturing Ren. Her hand traced the scar on his face. The narrow slash marring his handsome features. His dark eyes staring into hers. The man she loved with everything. A man she should hate. A man she should fear. But a man who was once a boy. An innocent boy forced to the Dark Side.
Hesitant at first, she touched his lips. After a groan from him, she deepened the kiss, imagining Ren. His hands on her hips as he pulled her closer. His touch, warm and gentle. Protective. His hands in her hair. His thumbs stroking her cheeks. His lips against hers. The passion. The lust. The unquenchable need.
"Rey…"
She broke away from Hux and he stared at her with a sick grin. "Well, well, no wonder he is so protective of you. You've earned it." He pulled on the scarf. "This time. Behave or I will make you watch it burn."
She nodded, skimming her fingers across the ragged hem. "I understand. Thank you."
"Good. Now rest."
Rey curled up tightly on the floor, doing her best to arrange the scarf around her almost like a blanket. The dark fabric still smelled of Ren. It soothed her. It was almost like having him lying there beside her.
"I'm here. Sleep. I'm here."
"Don't go."
"I won't. Close your eyes, Rey."
"I'm scared."
"Don't be. I'll watch over you. Close your eyes. Relax."
She shifted on the hard floor, clinging to the scarf. To the bond in her head, to the voice singing to her. Ren. Singing their song.
Against her will, she felt herself drifting. Her body was exhausted. She needed rest. She did.
"Ren…"
"I love you, Rey. Sleep, sweetheart. I'm right here. I won't leave you."
"I love… you…"
And with that, Rey fell into an uneasy sleep on the floor of her captor's room, Ren still singing in her head.
Author's Notes:
Darker and darker we go… We'll get a glimpse inside Ren's head next chapter. My outline is a bit in shambles at the moment but we will see the Resistance again in a few chapters.
Just a shout out to my helpers. They've both been a big help for several chapters now. DORK DOG thanks for helping me look ahead, answer my silly SW questions, and for letting me bounce ideas and pieces off you. And thanks to Megan D1 for helping me plot and scheme for the last few chapters! It really helps having someone to bounce ideas off and to show pieces in progress too. Plus having two other POVs besides my own is very helpful.
Thank you again for reading, following, and reviewing. The ride isn't over yet, but it's getting bumpy!
well wishing - Thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. Depending on the day, writing is the best thing for me health wise. At the same time, it can crash and mess with my productivity. It's a roller coaster and thank you for your patience! I actually got a bit ahead this week so I might have some more chapters to post than usual!