Man of Justice
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jacob Michael looked at all the Barkleys once Jarrod quit speaking. How he wished he could turn back the hands of time, but Nick was right he couldn't do that. "I am sorry. I wish there was a way to prove it to you and I do wish I could make it up to you somehow. Though, I suppose after all these years there isn't. I'm sorry for bringing back painful memories. I'll be leaving…" He started to rise with the intention of leaving, as did his wife only to be stopped by Jarrod. The words the oldest Barkley brother said shocked them all.
"Why did you turn down the chances you had to leave prison early?" Jarrod asked the question quietly but firmly, with a tone that demanded an answer.
Jacob looked at all the Barkleys' who were all staring back at him. It was as if someone had just pushed them out of a darkened room and into the sunlight. It was obvious to Jacob they had no clue to what Jarrod was talking about. "H…How did you know I had chances?" Jacob sat back down by his wife's side.
Jarrod sighed. "I have worked a number of times with the *parole board. William Thatcher told me how they had offered you an early release five years ago and then again three years ago. He said the parole board couldn't believe you turned them down both times, even said the second time you looked as if you had been insulted; that it was taking all you had to not lose your temper at 'such a suggestion'. Why?" The news had taken Jarrod aback when he'd heard it and he'd been wondering about it ever since, but had never been able to bring himself to go check into the matter.
Jacob shrugged his shoulders as he thought on the two occasions Jarrod was talking about. It had been so tempting at the time to accept the offer to be paroled; a part of him wanted to. After all, he wasn't getting any younger. Slowly, he turned his head and looked at Victoria who sat there a little confused by Jarrod's question. "I kept seeing your mother," Jacob's eyes again filled with sincere remorse, the kind that reaches out and grabs a person by the throat so forcefully one would have to be blind not to see it, "standing in that courtroom demanding that justice be served, kept on hearing her demanding to know why I allowed you to be put in a position to be taken by the Modoc. I kept seeing the Widow Jackson in that blasted wheelchair asking everything to 'was the money from the guns really worth it' to 'how come I played favorites'." Jacob shook his head slowly. "I didn't play favorites when Horse Breaker and his men hit the wagon train, but I had no proof of that, not with the way I'd treated everyone before the incident. The courts could only give me prison time for smuggling the guns to the Indians… judge said they couldn't hold me responsible for what the Modoc chose to do nor could the law tell me not to play favorites." Mr. Michael sat up straight as he looked at each and every one of the Barkleys, "They couldn't. However, I knew your family did, as did others, and if the truth be told, I knew it too. After all, out of greed I put your brother in a position to be taken from that wagon, along with endangering the others with the hidden guns. If they were going to knock any time off of the smuggling charges, I figured I could take it back for what it cost your family and the others." Jacob paused, sighed and continued. "As far as I knew, you weren't back in their lives. Though, even if I had known," he looked at them all again, "it wouldn't have made a difference. The penance was still mine to do."
Silence again made itself the room's companion as all the Barkleys took in the news the man had made amends the only way he knew how. Jarrod stood up and walked over to Mr. Michael, a weary smile upon his face and extended a hand, "I'd say you've done everything you can. Thank you."
"Please, don't thank me. I came because I wanted to see if there was anything I could do for Tom and Victoria, for the family. I owed you an explanation as lousy as it was, and greed is a lousy excuse. I also owed everyone an apology." Jacob sighed as he looked at Victoria and added. "Out of everyone I have known in this world your parents trusted me the most. I destroyed that and marked my soul for eternity. I just wish there was something…" Jacob's voice trailed off as he put his head down, trying to draw the courage to go on, and suppress the pain that rose from his heart, the pain of shame and self damnation.
Before he could finish his sentence, Jarrod extended his hand once more, an unwavering expression of compassion written on his face. "You have done something for all of us in taking prison time you could have gotten out of. Thank you." he repeated as continued to hold out his hand.
Jacob looked up into the eyes of the boy that had become the man. He stood up and, with a sad smile upon his face, accepted the extended hand. "No, thank you."
Victoria slowly made her way over and gave Rose a hug and shook Jacob's hand...while she knew he was sincere and his remorse real, she wasn't ready to be embracing him just yet. Heath and Audra remained where they were, not wanting to break the mood of healing that seemed to be taking place for at least two of the Barkleys involved. Only when Victoria had stepped aside did Nick speak.
"Was the money worth it?" He asked as he bit off each word of the question. His icy glare bore a hole into the man he still saw as has his enemy.
Jacob looked at Rose; he could see the pain in her eyes, another thing that cut him deep. He turned his gaze back to Nick. "At first, I told myself I had no choice. My son was gravely ill, and I was desperate for money to pay the medical bills. Truth was, I was too full of pride to ask for help. He was my son; I would take care of it." He then shook his head. "By the time he died I had become a creature I have come to loathe." He looked earnestly upon Nick and added. "You're right. I can't turn back the hands of time, though I wish I could."
No one spoke as they looked on Nick, wondering what he'd say next. When he spoke, his volume was not as high as it had been, though the tone was just as firm. "Guess I can work on forgivin' you since you willin', like Jarrod just said, to do more time in prison. However," he stressed the word 'however', "I still would rather you stay off the ranch. Though, if you ever pass through Stockton again I won't argue with the family visiting you there."
Jacob nodded. He knew that the gruff exterior Nick projected was the man's defense against what "still might be". He could also accept this was as much forgiveness as the man was going to give. That was alright. It was more than Jacob himself had expected or even believed he deserved. Deep down he might have wanted to feel he was welcome back on the ranch, but he had to admit that would have been a bit much to ask of anyone. "I can live with that." He offered his hand to Nick, who accepted it… albeit still with some caution.
"I'll walk you to your buggy." Victoria smiled as she led the couple out of the room, grateful that some peace had been made. Audra too excused herself leaving only Jarrod, Nick and Heath in the large room.
Nick would have reminded his brothers they had work to do, but he caught the look that had crept into Jarrod's eyes as he had gone back to staring into the empty fireplace. He was shocked to realize it was the same pain filled look that had been Jarrod's companion through the years, only it had become ten times stronger. He was confused. Mr. Michael had been sincere; they'd all felt it, and Jarrod had thanked him. That being the case, why was there such a deep layer of pain still in Jarrod's eyes? "Jarrod? What's wrong? Things have been laid to rest; you don't need to be haunted by this anymore."
Jarrod closed his eyes and fought to keep the control he'd had through the ordeal of having to relive the past. Why that reaction turned on the light for Heath he would never know, only the Blonde haired cowboy spoke up sending more shock waves through Nick. "There's more, isn't there Jarrod? There's more to this story than anyone's been told."
Nick's jaw clenched with concern as he looked back and forth between his brothers. He couldn't believe that was the case. Sure, Jarrod had kept quiet about certain details for a number of years, but he had finally opened up all told the family everything…hadn't he? "Jarrod?" Nick took a step towards Jarrod only to find his oldest brother turning and fleeing out of the room and out the front door. Nick and Heath looked at each other and then, without a word, hurried to catch up with their older brother.
*Author's note: The adoption of paroling prisoners was actually not put into place until 1893.
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