A/N: This is a request from and Shortie87. Also, I will be going to visit my older sister in Virginia for a few weeks. I'll still be writing, but it might get haphazard for a bit. Just wanted to let you know. Enjoy!

PS... My novel is done and back from the proofreaders. After doing some minor corrections, I will be self-publishing this week! I'm beyond excited. As soon as I get it published, I will give you all of the information for those who would like to read it.

#53 – Break and arm or leg – if you hit any appendage hard enough, you can break bones.

#57…Throw into a tree and scare off birds – birds are annoying. This will get rid of them.

#67 – Self-defense training – it is a weapon and can be used in self-defense training and fighting.

It was another beautiful spring day in the Host Club. The gentle breeze made the branches sway, the birds were chirping…WAIT! Where were the birds? The air should have been filled with their music, the trees full of birds roosting, but the air, sky, and trees were strangely devoid of any winged creatures.

Upon closer inspection, it was easy to see why the birds were absent from the ground of Ouran Private Academy. To be exact, four individuals stood underneath one of the many trees located on the campus, and two of them were throwing a shinai into the tree under the direction of the blond in attendance. (Dear reader, I know you are wondering who and why…I'll get to that in a moment).

"Tamaki-senpai, how is this supposed to help me?" Ritsu Kassanoda questioned the older student.

Pausing in his instructions for Hikaru and Kaoru, the princely type answered, "This is a service to the princesses. All girls want to sit under a tree, but they don't want to get their clothes or hair soiled by bird droppings. Actually, no one does. Ergo, we must rid the grounds of the birds before club activities begin."

Sweat dropping, Kassanoda deadpanned, "So the shinai is supposed to rid the grounds of the birds like a magic wand."

"Exact... NO! You don't get it do you?! We are throwing the shinai into the tree, which will scare the birds and they'll fly away! Think about it."

"That was supposed to be common knowledge? How did you even come up with this?"

Hikaru and Kaoru answered, "Satoshi Morinozuka, your mentor's little brother. He's a third year in middles school, but we have high hopes for him."

"Eh?"

Kaoru caught the shinai he had just thrown and stated, "He said that if we want to get rid of the birds, then we should throw a shinai into the trees and they will fly away."

"It's a proven fact," Hikaru declared.

Kassanoda wasn't as convinced as they were and muttered, "Yeah, right." Did he dare actually believe them? No, he didn't. He wasn't even sure what he was doing there with them. He had been in route to meet Mori in Music Room 3, when they grabbed him and forced him outside with them. How exactly was this supposed to help his image? Throwing a stick upwards seemed like a waste of time and probably made him look a bit scarier than he already did. "Well, it looks like you have all of this under control, so I'll just go back to the music room. Later."

Grabbing the redhead's shoulder, Tamaki pulled him back towards the tree and exclaimed, "You can't go until we have taken care of the birds. This will help your image by showing the girls your thoughtful and caring side! Now take this shinai and throw it like a real man!"

There was no getting out of this. It was Kassanoda's epiphany in that moment. Sighing, he reluctantly took the shinai and threw it up into the tree, "Fine. Whatever." As it came back down, he took a step to the left and caught it, but was off balance. His hand caught the shinai, but in order to remain standing, he swung it wide and fast…and hit something. Falling to his knees, he looked behind him and found Tamaki clutching his leg. "What happened?"

"It would appear Tamaki chose to stand too close to you after giving you a direct order," Kyoya stated. To the others, he had appeared out of thin air and scared them all. The twins even tried to run up the tree, but to anyone that had been paying attention, he had been standing there for the past several minutes observing their idiocy. "Not to worry. I have already called a doctor and his driver will escort him to the hospital. Kassanoda, I believe Mori-senpai and Hunny-senpai are waiting upstairs for your private lesson. Hikaru, Kaoru, get out of that tree immediately and escort our leader to the car. Do be careful not to injure him further. Please do not concern yourself with him, Kassanoda, this was entirely his fault for being a certified idiot."

For some reason, when Kyoya said that to him, Kassanoda still felt like he was to blame and that the Shadow King blamed him to. How one could smile accusingly and utter words that meant the opposite, he didn't know, but then again, this was Kyoya Ootori. There were at least 50% of the yakuza in Japan that were afraid of the Ootori family and Kyoya in particular. Not wanting to remain longer than necessary, he ran into the school and up the stairs and as far away from Kyoya as possible. Arriving at Music Room 3, he pulled the doors opened and entered, completely out of breath.

"You all right, Kassanoda-kun?" Haruhi inquired.

"Uh, well…" the heir to a powerful syndicate stammered upon seeing the girl dressed in the boy's uniform. For the past couple of months, he has known she was a girl, and every time he saw her, he got nervous and spellbound gazing into her brown eyes. Of course, he tried not to let it show since she was currently dating Mori, his master and mentor, but it was really hard sometimes. "I'm fine," he completely forgot about the others he had just left.

Suddenly, a bamboo sword appeared in front of his face, and he jumped. Had Kyoya arrived with the intent to punish him?

"What's wrong Kassanoda-Chan?" Hunny inquired, snickering as he did so.

"Huh? Oh nothing! Umm, Tamaki-senpai is going to the hospital and Hikaru and Kaoru…Actually, I don't know if they are going with him. They were carrying him to the car."

"If I know those two, they'll go to torment him. What happened?" Haruhi inquired.

"I hit him accidentally."

With tears filling his eyes, Hunny asked, "You did? What did Tama-Chan do? Whatever he did, I promise he didn't mean it. I know he can be kind of..."

"Mitsukuni, he said it was an accident," Mori said. "What happened?"

Kassanoda explained, "They wanted me to throw a shinai into the tree to get rid of birds, but when I caught it, I swung it around and he was right behind me."

"Oh. Well, Tama-Chan shouldn't have been standing so close. Kyo-Chan will make sure he's all right! Now let's begin our lesson!" Hunny declared, suddenly bright eyed again, the tears in the forgotten past (dear reader, it is amazing how he can cry at the drop of a hat and then stop them just as quickly).

"Le-Lesson?" Kassanoda stammered. Were they going to make him wear funny clothes again?

Nodding, Mori answered, "Yes."

"We already know you can defend yourself, but Haru-Chan needs more practice. So you and she will be taking this lesson together. Sometimes, you can't use your fists and you need to use a weapon. This especially becomes very useful when you are trying to fight off multiple attackers at once," Hunny explained.

"Oh so you mean like when I have to deal with Tamaki-senpai and the twins at the same time," Haruhi deadpanned.

Giggling, the loli shota host agreed, "Exactly, Haru-Chan!"

Mori began explaining exactly how they were to use the shinai and Hunny demonstrated for him. By the time their lesson was over, Haruhi was attempting to fight off both cousins at the same time. She didn't win, but she tried. There may never come a time when she would have to use these techniques, however, she needed to know how to defend herself, and if she planned on staying with Mori throughout her life, she needed to learn as much as she could in order to fit into his family.

The other student, Kassanoda, wasn't sure how this was going to help him, but if he helped in Haruhi's studies just a little, then he was satisfied. Who knows? Maybe in the future, he could defend a damsel in distress and she would fall head over heels in love with him. Probably not, but he could dream.

Later that night. Haruhi found out exactly what kind of damage Kassanoda had inflicted on their club president when Tamaki called her seeking sympathy (dear reader, did you really think he would call someone else?). "Daughter, my leg is broken and those devil twins keep teasing me! Won't you come over and nurse me back to health?"

"No," Haruhi stated simply.

"But Haruhi, daddy is seriously hurt."

"You aren't my father. No."

"Daughter!"

"No way in hell, senpai."

"But daddy's leg is broken and I need help."

"Then hire a nurse. You can afford it."

"Please!" He begged.

"No. Sorry, senpai. I have to go now. I'm having dinner with Takashi's family," she hung up and went on with her life, ignoring any further calls from the blond until his leg healed (dear reader, only until then because after his leg healed, she had no choice. He was in her face and clinging to her...but she did get in a lot of karate and kendo practice with him as her practice dummy).