Epic Rap Battles of Pokemon
Episode 34: Archie vs Ghetsis
(Set to Rasputin vs Stalin)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF POKEMON!
Archie!
vs!
Ghetsis!
BEGIN!
Archie:
Cool hair there, Satan!
Try messing with Team Aqua and you'll be beaten!
How many losses does it take,
To break your mind and leave you in an insane state?
It's a disgrace what you did to your own son, man.
Your Seven Sages were all burned up by Reshiram!
Your name's Harmonia? Like Harmony?
Well now you're in obscurity!
Just a messed up Poke-Pirate bent in the mind,
Who awoke a Legendary, but he paid the price
With the destruction of Poke-Right's Activists lives,
I'll spit drops in all of your creepy cloak's eyes!
Big staff mystic known to hypnotize,
At least I didn't take Colress as my wife!
Ghetsis:
Look into my eye, you perverted witch.
See the soul of the man who made Ash's Pikachu his bitch!
You think I even give two bits about N?
He's just a Team Plasma figurehead, I would've killed him in the end.
You got off easy when you swallowed that Red Orb!
I'd leave your body in Giant Chasm, frozen by Kyurem's Glaciate!
Your girl Shelly? Glaciate! All your Aqua friends? Glaciate!
Mightyena, Crobat, and Sharpedo? Glaciate!
Send out the Shadow Tirad, they'll fight forever
Ask who the heck's Team Aqua and no one remembers.
You call me a pirate? Look in the mirror!
Drive my staff through you harder than I bitch slapped Looker.
A portal suddenly opened up and Cyrus dropped out of it.
Cyrus:
I have no pride for you who sucked at everything,
My plan was to recreate the world and be its deity!
I fought my parents rejections, emotional imperfections,
So now I'm here to spit a thesis against both your intentions!
Let's start with you there, Captain Ahab!
Was the blue bandanna all you had?
For a Water-type Team, Sharpedo's lame.
Cause that's the only Water-type you've got in the games.
And Ghetsis, you had Colress as your right hand man,
But his loyalty shriveled up like your right arm, man!
Your brains are as warped as the Distortion World.
Trying to mess around with spirit and your Stones and Orbs!
"Knock knock knock knock."
Everyone turned to see Maxie open a door a peek in.
"Did somebody say 'Blue Orbs'?"
Maxie then proceeded to walk right in.
Maxie:
Yo I'm the man with the land of Hoenn,
I saw my huge mess and I Heel-Face Turned.
I battle three times, in Pokemon Emerald, no doubt!
If you don't have a Cmerupt, time to get out!
I had the smarts to Double Battle with Tabitha
Sent Ash's Pikachu to wake Groudon up, Oh yeah!
(Points to Cyrus and Archie) You two need yoga, (Points to Ghetsis) you need a shower.
And you all need to learn how to handle real power!
Suddenly a huge video screen appeared and Giovanni's face appeared on it.
"Did somebody say 'real power'?"
The screen exploded and Giovanni walked out.
Giovanni:
So. . . . you want to face my wrath?
I captured Pikachu, Meloetta, and Ash!
You fools are contemptible, while I rose the Undersea Temple
Controlled the Kami Trio and proved that the best plans are simple.
I'm a Team Leader in my prime, my enemies couldn't defeat me,
I've got operatives in every single Region, so amateurs come at me!
You don't know what you're doing,
When you try to challenge me and my Persian!
You'll find that the ex-Viridian Gym Leader, is far greater, than you one shot preachers!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
the prof. is in 4/24/13 . chapter 32
this is pretty funny
how about for stalin vs rasputin .you choose all the villainous team leaders
something like this
RasputinArchie
Stalin Ghetsis
LeninCyrus
Gorbachev Maxie
PutinGiovanni
. . .epic rap battles. . . .
. . .epic rap battles. . . .
. . .epic rap battles. . . .
ooooooooooooooooooof - of Pokemon!
Of Pokemon!