A/N; I am so sorry for the long delay. Life has thrown a few curve balls the past few weeks. Thank you all so much for the reviews and continued input. I just wanted to mention that although I've tried, and will continue to try, to make this story as realistic as possible, the bits about the Disciplinary board hearing, and the decisions that will come out in this chapter are not very accurate to real life. Any case being brought before a board would have gone through the courts first, and would usually take months to work through. Also, the conditions I've placed on Alicia here are unlikely, but the path I'm taking here works best for my continued plot.
- It was finally official Lockhart, Gardner & Gardner was Chicago's newest law firm. The celebrating was over. The champagne had been drunk, and the large array of catered food was nearly gone. With any luck, many of the guests that had shown up for the office reception would be calling in the next few weeks to hire them as their chosen firm. As Will made his way down the hall from the conference room to find Alicia, he had to admit his two partners had chosen well on the decor. Even if the renovations had cost more than they'd originally planned.
"More budget issues to work out," he mumbled under his breath. But at this late hour all he really wanted to do was take his wife home, look in on Zach who had probably been asleep for hours now, and have Alicia all to himself for the rest of the night.
As he entered her office closing the door behind him, it wasn't just the impressive city skyline that shone through the wall of windows behind her that caught his attention and took his breath away. An intoxicating tired smile crossed her lips, her eyes closed, feet propped up on her new sofa. He inhaled moving towards her. It never ceased to amaze him how she could be doing absolutely nothing and yet manage to send a rush of excitement through him.
Her eyes remained closed as he leaned over her, pressing a soft, warm, kiss to her lips. "I might be too tired to go home," she joked, in a sleepy tone.
He chuckled lightly joining her on the sofa. "I thought things were supposed to slow down once we moved out here and started our own firm. We were going pass a lot of the grunt work off to our associates," he said. "What happened to that plan?"
Her eyes opened, her long dark lashes fluttering as she looked up at him. "I think it was just a rouse on Diane's part to get us to agree to do it with her," she said, with a light laugh.
"She can be very persuasive," he said, with raised brow.
She sat up, the smile on her face growing broader. "We did it Will!" she giggled excitedly, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He pressed his forehead to hers. "I know! Our own firm Leesh, just nine years out of law school."
"And not just any firm," she said. "A large, all services firm. Just what we always wanted."
Their eyes remained locked on each other. "You know one of the things I like most about this is that I can come in here and kiss you anytime I want, and no one can get after me for doing it." She giggled some more as he pressed a few kisses to her neck. "Let's go home," he said, pulling her closer. "I think we should continue our celebrating there."
She shifted, lifting her skirt a bit so she could straddle her legs over his lap. "You don't want to consummate the new office space?" she breathed, her lips pressed against his neck as her hands made their way to the buttons on his shirt.
He laughed lightly against her shoulder, reaching for her hands. "No. Not tonight. I'm ready to look at something besides the inside of this building for the next two days, even if it's our tiny apartment. Zach's probably forgotten what his father even looks like."
She smiled lovingly as she stood reaching out her hand for him to take. "He's probably forgotten what both of us look like. But he's only nine-months old. Hopefully we can repair any damage that's been done in the past three months."
He took her hand and they made their way towards the elevator. He was looking forward to their first free weekend since the move.
She was merciless on their drive home. She'd seductively removed her nylons before they'd even reached the first traffic light. Every time he'd glance at her she'd give him, "that look". And she'd purposefully moved her hand over his thigh over and over again to make him ache for her even more. In those long few minutes from the office to their temporary apartment, he was glad they hadn't moved into the new house yet. It would have taken twice as long to get home.
Once behind the closed door to their bedroom, he decided to take control of things. After her little shenanigans in the car, he had a few things of his own up his sleeve that he knew would drive her absolutely crazy.
Some time later, well spent, they lay tangled together beneath the soft sheets. "We're going to be the best lawyers this city has ever seen," he said.
"Mmhm," she mumbled sleepily. "And the best part is that we get to do it together." -
Will's eyes fluttered open, reaching across the bed for her. After making love to her by the fire the previous evening, and the dream he'd just had, he wanted to feel her close to him. But the space was empty. The sheets were cold. She obviously hadn't been there for awhile. He sighed. The dream, or rather memory, he'd just had, seemed like it had happened just yesterday, not years ago.
He looked around the room, and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was still early, a good half hour before the alarm would go off. He shifted, placing his feet on the floor, now noticing the faint smell of coffee coming from downstairs. He got out of bed and went to find her.
She'd been awake for awhile, thumbing through some of the photo albums. She'd do this sometimes, sit and look at each picture trying to will any sort of memory from her mind.
The conversation she and Will had just hours earlier, was still fresh on her mind. Thumbing through the album only troubled her more. Looking at the photos it was obvious they'd been happy. She couldn't understand why her depression returning the previous year would have prevented her from confiding in Will. More troubling still was the idea that things had turned so ugly she'd thought they'd needed to separate.
She heard his quiet footsteps enter the room. He settled next to her on the couch, wrapping his arm around her. "You're up early," he said, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, and then glanced down at the book she held in her hands.
"I woke up awhile ago, but couldn't get back to sleep." It had been an unsettling dream that had woken her, but something she didn't want to discuss with him. After the conversation they'd had, she wasn't certain if the dream had been a memory, or something she'd made up in her head.
"Nervous about today?" he questioned. In a few short hours they'd know the future of her career.
"A little," she sighed, relaxing into his embrace a bit more. "I don't like not knowing what the next few days, or weeks will look like if I'm not working. I don't even know where to start, or what I want to do."
He didn't have a good answer for her feeling as uncertain about things as she did. "We'll figure it out, okay?" He smiled at her in an attempt to make her feel better.
She nodded, turning her attention back to album in her lap. "I still can't imagine Diane camping," she said.
He chuckled. "Well, it was very comfortable as far as camping goes. Kurt rented an RV with plenty of room, thinking the kids would be the only ones that would really want to sleep in a tent. And he knew there was no way that you would let them sleep in one all by themselves."
"So we all slept in the RV?"
"No. One night Kurt slept in the tent with the kids. One night you and I slept with them. And the third night we all slept in the RV."
"It looks like fun," she said, quietly thumbing to the next pages which held pictures of the kids playing baseball, and swimming a few summers back.
The next page held a few images of her and Will. "This was our anniversary last year, right?" she asked, pointing to one of the photos.
"Yeah," he said, his arm tightening around her. "You surprised me. You told me you wanted to plan our anniversary. I'd been talking about wanting to go kayaking for a few years. But we'd never seemed to have enough time to try it out. So you planned a four day weekend for us in Michigan on Lake Superior We stayed at this great place right on the lake. We went kayaking, did a little leisurely hiking, shared some quiet romantic dinners. Our room had a great view of the lake. It was a lot of fun."
"It sounds like it," she said, softly. Both of them were thinking the same thing in that moment. How and why on earth had things changed so dramatically in the following months?
A few moments later she closed the album, a nervous energy running through her. She needed to get up and move around. Get ready for the day, and focus on something besides the past, and her uncertain future.
Will planted a few soft kisses on her neck. She shifted off the couch almost as if she could read his mind. "There's fresh coffee in kitchen. Or…you can join me in the shower. It's up to you." She raised a brow to him trailing her fingers across his shoulders as she walked past him heading for the stairs.
He shook his head, and stood to follow after her. She briefly glanced back at him giggling a bit, and then hurried up the stairs leaving a trail of clothes behind for him to gather on his way up.
/
Diane looked up from her desk just as Will and Alicia approached the reception area in front of their offices. She'd been anxiously awaiting the news of the disciplinary board's decision all morning.
She couldn't tell from the expressions on their faces if the news was good or bad.
Will closed the door behind him, before sitting next to Alicia across from Diane's desk.
"Well?" Diane said, looking anxiously at her partners.
"They placed me on disability inactive status." Alicia said.
"Better than a suspension or disbarment," Diane replied.
"Yes, but it's almost as if they've disbarred her with the restrictions they've put in place," Will said, with a hint of anger. He was not happy with decision at all.
"They're just being cautious," Alicia said, glancing at him.
"Too cautious in my opinion. They want us to treat this like you're a summer associate. They practically want you to start over."
"Will, I am practically starting over. And it could be worse. They could have said I wasn't allowed to work at the firm at all, which is the restriction that would normally be put on people placed under the same status."
"What are the conditions?" Diane cut in.
"I can continue to work, but until I pass the Illinois bar exam, any work I do should be treated as if I weren't a licensed attorney."
"Exactly, a summer associate," Will said. "Her name can't be on anything submitted to the courts. Any billable hours she puts in have to be submitted along with a licensed attorney's name. You get the idea." He sighed loudly, sitting back in his chair.
"They want you to retake the bar exam?" Diane asked, with raised brow.
"Yes. They didn't suspend or disbar me because I haven't done anything legally wrong, and because under disability status they have the ability to allow me to still work, which is something they deem important under the circumstances. But they are worried about the amnesia, and my lack of legal knowledge. They feel that the only way for them to measure my knowledge and ability as a practicing attorney is if I can pass the exam again. They feel like the process of studying for it would give me a base to start from, and that if I can pass it, I'd have enough working knowledge to practice without putting clients into compromising situations."
"That makes sense I suppose. Will and I can help, but we'll need to get up to speed on the Illinois specific parts of the exam. We all took the New York State exam, there will be some differences. When will you try to take it, in February or July?" The bar exam was given twice a year to accommodate winter and spring graduates.
"I haven't decided yet. I'd like to take it in February. But that seems like an awful lot of information to try and cram into three months."
Will chuckled. "It's like cramming three years of law school into three months."
"Partially, but you know as well as I do, that half the exam covers material you only brushed upon in law school." Diane said.
"Yeah, we should get you signed up for a prep course, and you should take a practice exam so we can see where you're at right now," Will said, looking back at Alicia.
She nodded taking his hand. "What do you two think we should do about it within the firm?"
"I don't think we need to make a lot of changes," Diane said. "Most of the work you've been doing these past few months falls under the guidelines, and most of your clients have been understanding. We just can't have you submitting briefs, and pleas to the courts. Will's right, about the billable hours. We'll have to submit them as associate instead of partner hours."
"Maybe I should step down as name partner for awhile."
Will jerked his head around looking her in the eye. "Absolutely not!"
Alicia held his gaze. "Will, I know you don't like this. I know that you feel like the people who reported this shouldn't win. But I think this is the best thing for the firm – our firm. You're worried about me, and my career, and I appreciate that. I love how fiercely you've stood by me, defended me. But you have an obligation to our employees as well."
"But your reputation Alicia," he cut in.
"Exactly! How's it going to look if I'm held on a pedestal, while we force our employees to follow all the rules? If I were any other partner, you'd ask them to do exactly what I'm suggesting because it's smart. It's the right thing to do. And in the long run, I think employees and our clients will respect that more. My memory loss is what it is at this point. We can't keep trying to bring back the past. It's time to start over. And honestly, I'll feel more like I've accomplished something if I can earn it back, instead of everything being handed to me on a silver platter."
Diane continued to watch the exchange. She knew Alicia was right. Employees and clients would respect her more if this was the path they took. She also knew how difficult this was for Will. She knew full well he'd give up his own law license for the rest of his life if it meant Alicia could keep hers, and continue running the firm the three of them had built together. He'd always gotten more pride and satisfaction out of her accomplishments than his own. From the moment Alicia had agreed to start the firm with them, it had been all about what the two women had wanted. Diane chuckled to herself - really about what Alicia had wanted, which office she wanted when they'd finally decided on office space, which clients she wanted for her own. Alicia had never taken advantage of his big heart. There had been more than one instance where she'd refused to do something because she'd seen right through Will's best intentions. They'd tried hard to keep everything in their marriage equal, but even Diane knew it was bit lop sided.
Watching them now, it was easy for her to see that Alicia telling him it was best to give up her partnership, even for a few months, was crushing him. Even if he knew it was the right thing to do.
Because of that there wasn't much arguing from him. "You're sure that's what you want?" he asked, rubbing his thumb over her fingers.
"Yes. It's the best thing for all of us." She could sense the hesitancy and sadness in his features. She reached her hand to his cheek. "It's only temporary. Once I'm back in good standing with the board, I expect you to give me my position back Mr. Gardner." She smiled lovingly at him.
"Gladly," he said, a defeated smile across his lips.
"Okay. I'm going to go to my office now, and get some work done." She looked back at Diane. "We should hold a meeting later this afternoon, or first thing in the morning to let everyone know about the changes."
"I'll get it set up for this afternoon," Diane said.
Alicia stood, giving Will's hand one last squeeze before she exited Diane's office.
"Is she really okay with all of this?" Diane asked, looking more seriously at Will.
He sighed. "I don't really know. She didn't say much on our way back from the hearing. I don't know if she's doing this because she thinks it's what's best or what we want. Or if it really is what she wants. They're sending someone tomorrow to start going over her cases from last winter." He looked down at his hands.
"They won't find anything Will," she said, as he stood to go to his office.
He looked back at her. "I hope you're right."
/
The house was silent again as they lay in bed, his arm wrapped tightly around her middle. They'd been lying there like that both staring out into the dark for awhile, neither one able to find sleep.
The firm meeting had gone as expected, for the most part anyway. Inwardly, Will was still reeling over the boards decision. But there was nothing more to be done about it now except to push through the next few months, and hope Alicia could pass the bar exam again.
He still wondered how she was really feeling about everything. She'd been awfully quiet since they'd left the office. Of course so had he. Movement from her body beneath his grasp brought him out of his thoughts.
"Are you really okay with everything that happened today?" He finally asked, as she turned into him to look into his eyes.
"What was it like to start our own firm?" she countered, lacing her arm under his.
He smiled at the complete avoidance of his question, and the thoughts of their early days running the firm. "Amazing!" he said. "It was something we'd always wanted to do, but we thought it would take a lot longer than it did to pull it off." He turned onto his back, and she rested her head on his chest.
"It was also terrifying," he admitted, running his fingers through her hair. "We both quit very good jobs to start the firm. Zach was a baby. And it nearly depleted all of our savings to cover moving, and start-up costs."
"We bought the firm from someone Diane knew?" she asked.
"We did, but things weren't as good as Diane had been led to believe. When the partners of the other firm found out their boss had sold the firm to someone who wasn't even in Chicago, a lot of them left and started up their own firm. And once we were here we decided the office space the old firm had occupied was too outdated. We knew if we wanted to gain a good reputation in the city we had to upgrade, and find something in the loop. And as you know, real estate isn't cheap in that part of the city."
He smiled, running his hand over her arm. "It was thrilling and exhausting all at once. Much harder than I think either of us expected it would be. It took three months to really get up and running. We barely had any income coming in. We were keeping crazy hours because we'd spend half our days trying to recruit new clients, hire employees, and take care of office renovations. The other half of the day was spent doing enough work to keep us afloat. The move threw Zach completely off his schedule. He started waking up in the middle of the night again, which meant even less sleep for a few weeks."
They talked awhile longer. He gave her more details of some of the things that happened during that time. And told her about the dream he'd had the night before.
Not long after, they lay in comfortable silence again. "You never answered my question," he said. He felt her body stiffen a bit under his touch.
There was a long pause before she spoke again. "I don't know if I can do it," she admitted quietly.
He stared up at the ceiling for a few moments before shifting so he could look at her. "I don't think that's the first thing you should be asking yourself. You have to decide first if this is what you want to do. I know you feel like you'd be letting me down if you didn't pass, or if you didn't want to retake the exam. But that's not true. I only want what will make you happy."
He took her hand into his lacing his fingers with hers. "Alicia, I've tried very hard to never stand in the way of what you want to do with your life, and I'm not about to start now. If this isn't what you want I don't think you should do it. But if it is what you want, then you should know that I have no doubt you can pass that exam. You're smart, and determined. I've watched you over the past eight months defy all the odds put against you. And I think you'll continue to do that. But this decision has to be yours. It has to be what you want." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I'll support you no matter what you decide."
She reached her soft hand to his cheek. "This is what I want. I like being a lawyer. It's just a little overwhelming right now. There's so much information to learn."
"I don't want you to worry about it. If you don't feel like you're ready to take the exam in February, then we'll wait until July. This isn't a race. You'll know everything you need to the day you step into that exam room." The edges of his lips curved upwards. "And you have an advantage over the other people taking the exam. You have Diane and I to help you prep. Two of the greatest legal minds in the city!" he chuckled.
This caused her to laugh a bit. "And one of the most humble!" she teased.
He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I know it's stressful. But I'm here for you. I'll make sure you're ready."
She moved closer to him wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too."