Chapter 33: Family Ties Us Together
With more force than I thought Castiel possessed, he gripped my arm and shoved me, albeit gently, into the open cupboard doors. From his jack pocket he produced an Angel blade and sliced determinedly into his forearm. I winced as I watched him blink at the sudden pain he was probably feeling. He began drawing complicated and ornate symbols on the walls, I looked around me wearily, where were the Angels? He had promised us death and now there was nothing but silence. I registered dimly that is was the deep breath before the plunge and any moment fire and wrath was going to rain down on us.
I looked at Gabriel's face, he was quiet, he seemed to realize that this tense situation needed no further input on his behalf. His trusting brown eyes glanced up at me and I felt my heart and stomach twist in a horrible moment of pure panic. My arms around him tightened, I wasn't going to let him die. He was so small and helpless, trusting me completely with his life and now I was going to be his downfall. If I had more control of my grace I could have zapped us out of here or I could have a better chance of fighting them off. Yes, I had Hunter training, and yes, Sam and Dean managed to fight Heaven and Hell with nothing but their combined brains and fists. But they had been fighting their whole lives, I was new at this. I didn't know if I could take them. But as I felt the toddler put his head on my chest, I knew I would die trying.
"Bethany," Castiel said sharply. I looked up at him a bit dazed, I had come to my decision. "Get in the closet and close the door. Don't make a sound." He instructed as he picked up a gun, seemingly weighing up its usefulness and then opting to keep his Angel blade in hand instead. The conversation was brought abruptly to the front of my mind, wait what? Then it dawned on me. He wanted us to hide, to let him die fighting and hope that once they got what they came for, they would leave. Those symbols he was drawing were letting them in.
"No Cas, you are not going to die, not for this, not for me." I was beyond anger. "GOD what is it with us!" I growled. "All of us! What is with the Goddamn sacrifice play? You and Sam and Dean, Hell, even I'm doing it now! All we seem to be ready for, and fighting for is who's going to die first!" I was desperate. "I don't want to be the guy who lies on the wire and let the others crawl over me. Let's just cut the wire! Let's fight to live, all of us, together. No one dies, okay? No one dies!"
"Bethany we don't have time for this." He said harshly. "You've got to keep Gabriel safe." His voice cracked just enough for me to know he wasn't okay with this. "And when they get me, they'll think you've run and they'll leave you alone." I furiously blinked back tears that had begun to well in my eyes. It just wasn't fair. Why did we have to choose; this small group of people, Prophets and Angels that I had found myself in. Why did we have to keep making the hard decisions, they ones that could lead to the biggest screw ups or the greatest solutions. Why were we given so much weight to carry on our shoulders? Why did my family have to take it all on? My family, I realized with a jolt. My family.
"Please," I tried to keep my voice from breaking, "Don't do this. Not this. Not again. We only just got back from the hospital where you were in a coma. Where we saved you from being tortured. I'm not doing that again." My voice was more stable then I felt. "I won't let you do that to yourself again." Then I said something I hadn't told anyone; that I hardly let myself think because it was too ridiculous. But it was how I felt and he needed to know. "When you saved me from the warehouse, from that twisted reality that I was forced into. I thought you were my guardian Angel." I said honestly, softly. Because what I was telling him couldn't be said in anger. "And then everything got messier and messier and the Angels fell and what I remembered at Cain's house, and now I'm your guardian Angel." I gave him a wry, sad smile, "And I'm looking after you now, I'm trying to keep you safe. You're only human."
Castiel lifted a hand to my cheek and I felt his fingertips hesitantly brush against my cheekbone. "And you're only an Angel. It took me more millennia then I care to admit to figure out that Angels aren't all powerful, they can't save everyone. You're not God, Bethany, none of us are." And that's when he kissed me.
Fiercely, passionately. It was more real than anything we had done before. It was a kiss that would be seared into my brain for as long as memory itself.
It wasn't unlike any other kiss we had shared before, but it seemed to have the power to remind me of our mortality. What little time we had been given seemed to have already ended. I prayed that it was just another one of those times, the times where I thought the worst and it turned out okay. But if it wasn't? I wouldn't know what to do. I would fix Gabriel, that was certain, but with nothing left to keep me here. Would I go with Lucifer? Was that what was in store for me at the end of this tragic tale? That's what this whole thing had felt like; it had been sudden and surprising and so out of character. Everything that had happened between us was crazy, unrealistic, fictional, but that's what made me want it. The free hand that wasn't holding baby-Gabriel, tangled in his hair. We stumbled back at the force of our kiss and I felt my eyes slid shut as I gently bumped into the back wall of the cupboard. Then he was gone, he moved away and I opened my eyes to see the door shut firmly in front of me. The bastard!
I placed Gabriel carefully on the floor and pushed against the doors. To realize he had locked them shut behind him. "You son of a bitch!" I hissed and banged against the door, knowing full well that no force that I applied to it would make it open. I had watched him draw wards on the door minutes before.
He had trapped us in here and they were coming.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" I kicked the front tire of the Impala as I glared angrily up at our motel room. Kevin, Sam and I were stuck on the outside while whatever was in there with them was probably slicing and dicing already. Another monster that I was helpless to stop hurting my family. That stopped me for a moment, when had Bethany and Gabriel become part of my family? Sam, of course was my brother, which went unsaid. Cas was family too, we had been through too much not to be. Kevin was still a kid, he needed a family, and he had given up his to save mine. I guess in a way we had adopted him. But Bethany and Gabriel?
Gabriel I could get, in an obscure kind of way. He was Cas' brother (So was Michael and Lucifer but that was beside the point) and when he had died, or fake-died, he had actually gone down fighting for what was right. And I had to respect that, he had helped heal Cas and he hadn't caused anyone too much trouble. So grudgingly, I could stretch the ties of family to him, but more in a distant cousin kind of way. But Bethany?
I had nothing against her, she was a good kid. Well, I guess I really shouldn't call her a kid considering she was an Angel. Freaking Angels man. And I always knew that if Cas became human he would eventually find himself someone else. Granted, I never thought it would be this soon or would be another Angel. I was thought Cas would shack up with some innocent human girl, someone that would teach him to be a good human. Him with another Angel made me skeptical but at least she wasn't like the others. And she was probably better then any other human candidate anyway she knew about the life and she didn't seem to care that he had no idea what he was doing.
If I had to complain about anything it would be the increasing amount of awkward conversations Cas and I were regularly having. Asking for advice, if you looked at it in a certain light it could be considered as a compliment. He of course, was oblivious to the embarrassment he was causing. Which was why I couldn't tell him to go away, he was too clueless to just let him flounder.
"Dean." Sam said quietly, his voice was off, Zeke. I gave the Angel a look and we moved further away from the car and Kevin. "I can't stay here."
I took a double take, "Wait what?" I asked in disbelief, this was all I needed. "What's the problem Zeke, why the hell are you jumping ship? Is it because we're in trouble? Because you had no problem letting Castiel get tortured in that warehouse, you had no problem sitting pretty when you were up to your neck in Demons!"
"But this isn't Demons." Zeke hissed. "These are my brothers and sisters, the Angels are a danger to you and your brother, and I will not be slaughtered in the crossfire between you." There was a cold look in his eye, one I hadn't seen since Sam was walking around without a soul. He looked heartless, his face lacked humanity. It was disturbing to behold and it was worse plastered across my brother's face.
"But what about Sam? You can't just leave, he'll die." I emphasized my point, he seemed like an okay guy, like he wanted to help. That's what he had said to me in the hospital; that he still believed in his mission. "Come on Zeke, I know things are a little bumpy but this is no time to get cold feet."
"Either they go, or I do." Ezekiel said firmly, harshly. He looked resolute, I had seen that expression on my brother's face before. It was when he had made a decision he wasn't going to change. It was strange to see an expression I knew so well, on a face I cared about so much and for it be used by someone else.
"They?" I asked confused, I didn't understand, then it dawned on me. "You mean Cas?" No, no, that couldn't happen. Cas was a friend, Cas was family. I wasn't going to abandon him, everything about this situation screamed wrong. Bethany's words floated to me as I looked at him in despair.
"That's nice." She said sarcastically. "Having tea parties? Enjoying some down time with your new friend? A friend, that just happens to be wearing your brother!"
"If he wasn't Sam would be dead." I responded. "I couldn't let my stupid little brother die."
"And you thought Angelic possession would be the answer?" She asked incredulously, her grey eyes full of disbelief. Seeing her expression, it made my choices seem so stupid. But it had been the solution, the only solution.
"I mean all of them, Castiel, Gabriel, Bethany. They attract danger like a magnet, I am not safe while they are here. So they go, or I do." Zeke spoke with finality.
An ultimatum.
I saw their shadows dance under the door before I heard them. As quiet as possible I picked up Gabriel and held him close. Hoping beyond all hope that he would remain silent as we hid in the darkness of the closet. "Where are they Castiel?" A male voice asked.
"Bartholomew." Castiel's rough voice responded. So that's what his name was, I knew that Bartholomew was the Angel of Belief and Enlightenment. Dimly I could remember him as a peaceful Angel that taught love and peaceful change. What had happened that made him so bloodthirsty? The more I thought about it the more I realized that the Fall didn't just block the Angels' connection with Heaven. It broke our connection with our true selves. We were now so far removed from our true purpose, the purpose God gave us. That we were no longer ourselves. "I thought it was you, why are you doing this? I thought we were friends you and I. We were in the same garrison, we fought side by side."
"And then you went off with the Winchesters, got yourself a face transplant, lost your grace and shacked up with a girl. Managed to kill thousands of Angels, and then kicked the rest out of Heaven in the process." There was a dark chuckle, "You destroyed my home Castiel, any sentiment that I had for you is gone. Now where are they?"
"I didn't want this to happen." Castiel's voice broke, "I didn't want any of this to happen. I just wanted to help, I wanted to fix my mistakes. I wanted to show you the possibilities. I wanted us to be a family again. To stop fighting. All I ever wanted to be was an Angel, and show you how I found freedom-"
Bartholomew rode over the top of him, his voice was full of disgust. "You didn't find freedom Castiel, you fell. And then you tried to claw your way back. And when didn't want you; when didn't want your corrupting presence in our midst. You decided to drag us down with you. All because you too scared to be alone, too frightened to live with the path you had chosen. So you made us all walk down it together. Because you couldn't not be an Angel anymore Castiel, could you? You made your choice and then you wanted to take it back. You want to be an Angel and have freewill? You want to live with humanity but not be human? Well you couldn't have it both ways Castiel and you knew it. So you made Heaven burn so you wouldn't haven't choose." I could kill Bartholomew with my own hands, but in that moment, I saw what the other Angels saw in Castiel. He had tried to be their savior but in the end he was just the herald of their doom. That's what happens when you play God. A voice in my head seemed to whisper. "Now where are the girl and Gabriel, I want to rip the skin off their bones."
"They're gone, you'll never find them." Castiel lied awkwardly. If it wasn't such an awful situation I would have face-palmed. Instead I was angry, he was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted to scream, instead I felt my heart skip a beat. I didn't know what Bartholomew was capable of and that scared me.
Another chuckle. "You are a terrible liar." My stomach clenched. "I can sense them, you think your pathetic attempts at warding would conceal them? No scribbles can mask an Archangels grace." There was heavy footsteps, and a shadow stopped directly in front of the door. I held my breath and clutched Gabriel's head as close to my neck as possible to muffle any noise he might make. I screwed my face up in concentration, if there was ever a time to use my wings then this was it. "Found you." He whispered as the door was flung open.
I instinctively curled into a ball around the toddler as I felt harsh hands clamp on my arms with an iron grasp. I kicked and screamed in terror as my arms were almost torn off as Gabriel was wrenched from my hold. "NO!" I yelled as my hands fumbled with empty air. I was pulled upright by cold hands and a quick survey of the room showed that both Cas and I were being held by stone faced Angels in suits. Gabriel was squirming in a man's arms, he had to be Bartholomew. He held the baby at arms-length and looked at him in mild disdain. He had hateful eyes and a sharp, angular face. He wore a suit like the others and his hair was a mixture of honey tones. He seemed cold and hard, but through his eyes I could see a fire of righteousness that drove him to this brink of insanity.
"Oh how the mighty have fallen." He muttered as he glanced at Gabriel and I, then fixed his stare at Castiel. "So Cas, who do we kill first?" He handed the baby off to another Angel and then pulled out an Angel blade from his suit pocket. "The girl or Gabriel?" He played with the knife for several seconds before pointing it at Gabriel's chest.
"No!" Both Castiel and I shouted at the same time. I strained against the Angels that were holding me but they didn't relent. "Bartholomew don't do this." Castiel said, desperation clear on his face.
"Too late." He said cheerfully before slashing the blade upward in an elegant turn. I let out an inhuman scream as Gabriel began to wail. My captors let me drop to my knees as I let out gasps of pain. With more strength then I thought I possessed I wretched myself from their grasp and half crawled, half dragged myself over to the still form of Gabriel. He had a glowing gash across his chest and he was deathly quiet. My head was tugged backwards by my hair and I felt the cool edge of Bartholomew's blade against my throat. I gagged as I felt blood on my neck, it wasn't mine. "Say goodbye Castiel." He said brightly.
I closed my eyes.
A/N: HELLO EVERYONE! I'M BACK! My computer is fixed, my schedule cleared, my internet is still a little shitty but we can't have everything can we? How are you all? I feel like it's been an age. Thank you so much for not panicking and jumping ship, I promised I'd be back and here I am! YAY! Sorry to keep you in suspense about what was going to happen next, but the cliffhanger above seems a bit worse then the one I left you in two weeks ago. How do you like? I feel like I need some feedback, how are you guys liking the overall arc of this story? It's about to take a whole new direction in a chapter or two because of what dear old Zeke *cough*-Gadreel-*cough* said. I'll let your imaginations fly with that one but know this: We're about to start playing a whole new ball game so get EXCITED! I was trying to figure out exactly where we are on the actual season nine timeline we're kinda just before 9.09 in some areas, but past 9.16 in others. Which is weird when you think about it but I'm trying not to think about because then I get all confused. I did say it was an AU season nine *shrugs*
Now I didn't expect such nice words of concern from quite a few of my readers so thank you all for that! I really appreciate all your support and love through my terrible internet/computer crisis. I literally sold my soul to get my computer fixed this fast, still, now I'm behind on my writing arrggghhhh. My first world problems never end! But actually while I'm here a special thanks to EVERYONE who sent me nice words whether it was by review or by P.M. all of you are so nice and lovely and beautiful people!
So I'm going to leave this here now folks, I hope you all had a beautiful two weeks since I last saw you. It snowed at my house! (I live in the southern hemisphere so it's winter here in case you were confused) And I got my own little snow day because I decided it was to dangerous to drive/public transport my way anywhere. Thanks again for your patience and I hope you enjoyed!
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