Chapter 36.
Dougie's POV:
We stayed in our room, it was actually your room but you said it was ours now, for the rest of the day. We didn't feel hungry or anything, we were just enjoying each other's company and we didn't want to face the real world. We could have gone into my room I suppose but I really didn't want to see it, it was too full of memories both good and bad. Your room was bigger anyway so it was a much better option.
I sat on your bed, staring out of the window while you tidied away any kind of reminders of yoour life before everything happened. I heard you sigh and felt the bed sink as you sat on it opposite me. I sighed with you but didn't turn away from the window, the trees were swaying along with the wind, I watched every detail of the nature outside, though it still felt like we were the ones on the outside, or we were meant to be, and we were imprisoned.
"How come Harry hates us so much?" You whispered shakily, I could tell from your tone of voice that you found it really hard to ask. I took a deep breath, glancing at you and looking back to the window. I didn't know how to answer you.
"I really don't know." I whispered back turning my head to glance at you. You sat at the edge of the bed, your spine curved as you leant your elbows on your thighs, your hands holding your head up. You looked up after a moment and met my gaze.
"He's meant to be our best friend." you stated weakly. I gulped and turned away from the window fully, leaning my back against the wall and turning my gaze to the ceiling. "He..." you stopped to take a deep breath. I felt tears stinging at the back of my eyes, I'd never seen you so confused before. "he looked at us like he was abolutely disgusted."
"I-I know." I mumbled, moving my head to meet your eyes.
"What's wrong with us, Dougie?" You choked, you sounded desperate. I pushed myself from the wall and walked over to you slowly. I sat down next to you.
"Nothing!" I told you as firmly as I could while trying to sound a calm as possible. "There is nothing wrong with us Danny. Nothing at all." I reiterated making sure he heard me, making sure he knew.
"But he hates us Doug." You told me."He hates us so much. Tom doesn't hate us though."
"Exactly!" I interrupted. "If Tom doesn't hate us, how can there be anything wrong with us?"
You stayed silent, your gaze dropping to your hands in your lap, twisting them together nervously. I moved my hand to the back of your neck, softly stroking the skin, you shuddered slightly. I moved my head so it rested against the side of yours, my breath tickling your ear.
"I never thought…I never thought of it like we're gay, you know?" you explained. As you spoke I played gently with your curls and brushed my lips against your cheek hoping this would help you go on. "For most people it's like, they start going out and they freak out cause they realise they're gay, they feel like it's unnatural but with us, I only freaked out because I was worried, the part about falling in love with a guy just felt completely normal and natural."
"It is natural, Danny." I whispered, swallowing as I spoke. I replaced my head on your shoulder and nuzzled my face into your neck, taking in your scent. Your hand crept up to mine, which was lying on my lap, and held it delicately stroking my fingers. "It doesn't matter if other people think differently, none of it matters." I said, almost desperately, my face still buried in your neck.
"Yeah, I know" you sighed, holding my hand a little tighter, one of your hands dropping to my thigh and gently playing with my trouser material. "It just hurts a little when people don't or won't even try to understand what we've been through to be together and how much we love eachother. I just want everyone to know."
I lifted my head, suddenly determined to make you see I unwrapped my hand from yours and used my index finger to curl around your chin and pull your head towards me, so you were facing me, our eyes locked together.
"We know." I whisper so softly no one else could have possibly heard it, I didn't want anyone else to hear it, I wanted that moment to be between us. Your eyes locked with mine, glancing to my lips then back to my eyes again. My stomach flipped and made me smile, you smiled back then placed a simple kiss on my lips which told me everything was going to be fine.
You fell asleep really early that night, around half eight, you need a good night's sleep though, I could tell. We had watched a few DVD's that were lying around your room, and some random telly, but we didn't talk much just lay together, kissing occasionally, holding hands. Though I knew we needed to talk, even though we were back together I knew we wouldn't be able to move forward fully if we didn't get things out in the open. There were things we needed to ask, to address, to sort out before we could properly call ourselves a couple.
I sighed softly and watched you sleep, curled up against me, your head resting on my shoulder, I smiled wondering what was going on in your mind, wondering what you were dreaming about. I was snapped out of my daydream by the unmistakeable sound of the front door opening and being slammed shut. I jumped a little bit and felt you stir underneath me but you didn't wake up. I thought nothing of the noise and was about try and fall asleep until I heard Emma's voice calling out for Tom. She seemed upset and lost, I wanted to ignore it and go back to being in my perfect world with you asleep beside just like a few seconds ago but curiosity got the better of me. I slowly wedged myself out from underneath gently kissing your cheek before leaving the room as quietly as I could. As quietly as possible I made my way to the top of the stairs, I wasn't planning on going any further, I could the conversation from there.
"Oh, do you know if Tom's here?" She asked softly, she was obviously talking to Harry as he was the only one left in the house.
"Yeah." Harry answered. "And guess what? He didn't come alone."
"What do you mean? Did he bring Becky back?" She questioned.
"No. And he wasn't doing what any decent person would do and taking Dougie home. Oh no, he only went and got the other one as well!"
"What? You mean Danny?"
"Yeah, who else?"
"Why?" She cried out softly, making my stomach flip, in the bad way.
"I don't have a clue." he stated. "Oh look here he comes." he added bluntly.
"Hi Emma. I wasn't expecting you to come back so soon." Tom said sounding concerned. I was intrigued so slowly I stepped down a couple of stairs and sat down near enough to see through the banister but still I was hidden away.
They were in the living room, facing away from me, I could clearly see the back of Tom but I couldn't see her.
"I wouldn't have even bothered if I know that they were going to be here." she sounded hurt and cold, I understood why she was acting like that but it still got to me a little bit.
"Oh, Harry filled you in did he?" Tom spat bitterly. "I was going to explain that myself."
"Yeah whatever." I heard Harry snap. Then I gasped as he came out of the living room, I prayed he wouldn't come upstairs, I dreaded to think of what he would do finding me eavesdropping. I was lucky; he turned sharply and made his way into the kitchen. I sighed, relieved, and carried on listening.
"So what happened?" Tom asked carefully yet soothingly.
"She was absolutely horrible." Chaz stated bluntly, I knew who she was talking about. "I thought that she might be there for me for once, you know? Act like all good mum's are meant to and I thought she might give me a huge hug and tell me everything will be okay but no. All she said was 'I knew that boy would cause trouble.'" I could hear voice becoming thick with tears.
"I'm sorry Emma." Tom sighed sympathetically.
"Dougie's mum know about everything. Apparently he went round to tell her the other day."
"Yeah, I know." Tom nodded "I was the one that took him, that's where I went."
"Oh right." she paused "Well it must be really serious if he's told him mum, I know how disappointed she would be in him and he knows it too. I can't believe this is happening to us, I though we were doing great..." Fhe stopped abruptly and I knew she was breaking down into tears. Tom took a step forward and wrapped his arms protectively around her, I saw her fragile arms snake around his waist. That's how she used to hug me, then she'd hide her face in my chest, like the times when I would make her laugh so much that she wouldn't be able to stop.
"Doug." A creak from above me made me jump and there you were standing at the top looking down confusion plastered over your face. I couldn't explain so I didn't, I let the tears fall freely s I turned my head back to watch, they were still hugging, he was saying comforting things to her but I knew he could say would give her any comfort.
You sat down next to me silently as glanced over at what I was watching you sighed heavily then took my hand in yours, linking them together.
"She's gonna be fine, Doug." You whispered gently. "Just give her some time."
"Do you really think?" I mumbled looking at you, my tears still falling.
"No, I don't think. I know." You smiled sweetly then wiped away my tears. "Please don't beat yourself up over it anymore"
"But I can't help it Danny." I admitted, "She's completely broken and it's all my fault. I broke my best friend."
"I have no idea how you must be feeling but I do know that she will heal in time." You said wisely pressing your forehead against mine. "Come to bed, sitting here witnessing it is only making it worse."
"And you aren't angry with me?" I asked weakly, biting my lip as I spoke.
"Why would I be angry at you?" You frowned.
"Because of you know... before." I was refering back to our argument where you said that you thought I was still in love with Emma.
"No Doug of course I'm not. I get it, okay?" you cupped my face and pulled me back to look at you. "Come back to bed?" I nodded and let you pull me up and lead me back to the bedroom, still feeling guilty but I couldn't understand why.