Hello, faithful readers. I love you. That is all.

Max POV

I returned to my little room of cages to find my flock all looking… rather… giggly. There was no other word for it. They looked giggly.

Yeah. Nudge was stifling a smile, her eyes brimming with tears of mirth. Gazzy's cheeks were puffed out with the apparent effort it took him to keep from laughing. Angel was grinning like a madwoman, and Fang…

Fang really was giggling, that's how giggly these guys were.

My Eraser escort led me to my cage and shoved me inside, snarling as he locked the cage door behind me. He left without further ado.

"Okay," I said once he was gone. "What's with the giggly-hyper-happiness?"

They all looked at each other and shared another giggle-fest, all while I was staring on, annoyed and waiting for someone to let me know what was so damn funny.

"Max, I thought you'd be happy to see me," Iggy's voice said, and I turned to glare at the Gasman.

"Gazzy, cut it out."

"Wasn't me," Gazzy said happily, pointing across the room. My eyes followed his finger to see Iggy, crouched on the far side of the cages where the Eraser hadn't seen him, grinning like there was no tomorrow.

I stared at Iggy for a long moment, deciding whether or not this was, indeed, the real Iggy. But I decided that the stupid grin on his face pretty much cleared that up. That was Iggy's grin.

"Aren't you gonna say hi?" Iggy said. "This guy's been waiting with baited breath for your return."

"Who?"

"Him," Iggy said, pointing to himself.

"You're confusing her," he continued, rolling his eyes. I looked at Fang questioningly.

"Multiple-personality disorder?" I asked. Fang shook his head.

"Nope," he replied. "There's a weird sort of computer virus in his brain that can talk through his mouth and control his body."

"Oh," I replied. "Yeah, I knew that."

Fang rolled his eyes. "Of course you did."

I nodded imperiously and crossed my arms, then flashed a smile to Iggy. I knew he would feel it.

Iggy smiled back, edging out of his hiding spot.

"Now all we need is Meagan," he said brightly. "She's being experimented on right now or something, right?"

There was silence in the room. Utter, absolute silence.

"Um…" I started nervously, unsure of what to say. I didn't fully believe that Meagan was dead myself, but…

"Sort of," Iggy said… or, I suppose that was the computer virus or whatever in his head.

"What do you mean?" Iggy asked, looking a bit confused. "What was that awkward silence just now?"

"One of you should talk with a different voice," I spoke up. "Because otherwise we can't tell who is who. Plus, it'd give us all a good and much-needed laugh."

"Yeah, and it's not going to be me," Iggy said.

"Fine," he replied. "Um, I mean fine." That was the computer thingy. I cracked a grin at Iggy's high voice.

"Now, what's all this about Meagan? The awkward silence and such?"

We all looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Well, I was supposed to kill her," the computer thingy said, and Iggy appeared horrified.

"What?" he asked.

"But I didn't," the thingy continued hurriedly. "I mean, I sort of did, but not really."

"Care to broaden that statement?" I asked harshly. What the heck was this thingy talking about?

"J," he snapped at me. "Is my name."

"Whatever. She's okay?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it okay," he replied hesitantly. "It's just… Professor Jordan has this thing. If I don't obey his orders, this jacked-up part of my whatever causes me extreme pain."

I met Fang's eyes and rolled my own.

"I'm sure that's just awful," I drawled. It was weird to see Iggy send me a hate-filled glare.

"Yeah. Whatever. But it's cool, because he never actually gives me orders without loopholes. I was supposed to kill her however I wished, so I didn't actually kill her… I plugged her into a dream simulator and killed her in the Dream. See?" He crossed his arms. "I'm no murderer."

His arms uncrossed and worried expression flitted across Iggy's face.

"But she's okay? She's fine?" he asked nervously. "Why didn't I know? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I don't actually know you all that well, kid," J pointed out.

"It doesn't matter! You're in my body!"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Phew. It was hard to really, honestly care whether or not Meagan was dead… I mean, sure we'd been through stuff, and I guess I'd feel bad and a bit depressed, but it's not like I knew her that well. It was more about the fact that if she was dead, Iggy would be devastated. No sirree, that wasn't something I wanted.

"Iggs, I'm happy to see you," I finally said, and Iggy looked towards me and smiled, and I smiled and opened my mouth to say something else when I heard the door open. Just our luck, right?

"Subject 9," a cold voice said, and goodness gracious, that guy sure gets around fast doesn't he? I mean, seriously, he was just messing with my mind like ten minutes ago! I thought he had stuff to do? Like, I dunno, have a little alone time with his child pornography?

Iggy froze like a statue, tensing heavily, and then, quite suddenly, he relaxed and stood easily.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, but there wasn't any sort of trace of the strange, frightening terror that Iggy felt in Mr. Evil's presence. I knew quite suddenly that the computer thingy had somehow stuffed Iggy away again. But why? To protect Iggy? To protect himself? Either way I didn't care, because Iggy wouldn't be punished, and that's all that mattered. "I… I was just…"

"You shouldn't be in here," Professor Jordan said coldly. He glared at all of us in turn, trying to see right through us. He couldn't, of course – I mean, he's no Angel. Not that Angel has X-ray vision, but that girl has a heckuvalota powers.

"I know," he said, ducking his head and walking towards the evil professor. "I'm sorry, I was just…"

Professor Jordan smacked J across the face and grabbed him by the collar, lifting him almost off of his feet (except, you know, Iggy's like six and a half feet tall).

"You do realize I have cameras," he hissed. "You just stay in your cell and do what I tell you."

"Yes," J choked, and I winced as Mr. Evil dropped him with a harsh glare. He stared imperiously around at all of us and sneered in my direction.

"You should all realize by now that your 'beloved' Subject 9 is completely under my control. There's no point in trying to reach it." I stifled a laugh beneath my hand, disguising it as a gasp of horror (at least I thought it sounded convincing), and Professor Jordan roughly pushed J out of the room. The door slid shut behind them.

Oh dear. I'd gotten all of five minutes with my Iggy, and he was gone again, and by the time we saw each other again we'd probably all be killed. Great, just great.

J POV

I ruefully rubbed my cheek – yeah, that's right, if I can feel it it's mine, I'm sharing it with Iggy – as I trailed along behind Mr. I-Am-So-In-Control-Of-You. He was such a control freak, seriously.

"I was just trying to convince them that I was Iggy," I said moodily. "I mean, they're gonna doubt it if I just randomly switch sides, right? It makes sense to talk to them."

Professor Jordan didn't answer, and I rolled my eyes and stumbled along. I just wanted to… grr! I had to live, like, twenty-five years of my life on a lonely little computer, flirting with computer viruses and random virtual 'Easter eggs,' which is actually a lot more difficult and a lot less satisfying than you would think, seeing as they really don't have much personality or, you know, gender. Although you can actually have some pretty interesting conversation, especially if the virus has been around a bunch. Exchanging memory was always pretty exciting.

Well, anyway, I spent all that time alone except for my lovely chats with Professor Jordan. Then once I had resigned myself to never leaving that computer and never getting my body, I was shoved into the brain of a traumatized little boy with freaking disturbing thoughts, not to mention bizarre reactions to the only man I had ever known. And then there's the whole ultimatum thing; "Help me sabotage the lives and happiness of my only son and be rewarded with your wildest dreams, or disobey my orders and die." Tell me, which option would you pick in that situation?

And now I was seriously crushing on the woman who was carrying the rape-baby of the dude whose mind I was trapped in, I was attempting to be a good guy for once in my pitifully lame existence, and I was rewarded for my miraculous change in heart by being hated and beaten. And now I was probably being led to my death or something, and that freaking sucked.

"I'll try really hard from now on." To disobey you in ways that I won't get caught. "I'll follow your every order." You know, it's okay, I've always got loopholes. "I won't talk to those idiots anymore." Except for when you're not paying attention.

Hey, what can I say, I'm a rebel.

Of course, the stupid scientist didn't answer, and I just continued to follow his echoing footsteps, concentrating on the floor as if I could see it (another thing; couldn't he have put me in the body of a guy who wasn't, you know, freaking blind?). I supposed that he'd take me to wherever he wanted me to go eventually, and it wouldn't really make a difference what I said if he was angry enough to kill me.

Eventually, we did reach a room. He stopped quite suddenly, so suddenly that I had to nearly fall backwards to avoid running into him. I heard a door whoosh open, and when he disappeared into whatever room it led to, I figured I was supposed to follow.

The room was cold, and large – I could tell by the echoes. I assumed that it was a lab of some sort, and yep, I'm probably about to die. So long, Anne, I would have loved to make out some time, but it just can't be…

"Come here," Professor Jordan said through gritted teeth, and I knew I was in for it. I stepped hesitantly over, wondering if he was gonna shoot me with some sort of beam that would short-out my consciousness, or if he was going to cut Iggy's head open and fish me out of his brain.

"Yeah?" I asked warily, waiting for the coming blow. But none came.

"Put your hand out in front of you," the Prof continued, and with a slight hesitation I reached out my arm. A couple feet from my face, it collided with a cool glass.

"What is it?" I asked, running my palm across the smooth surface. It appeared to be a glass panel of some kind, a window, over a large metal capsule or something. Like a giant freezer or something.

"It's an incubation chamber," Professor Jordan answered. "Your body's inside it."

I froze with my hand on the glass, my fingers curling. Seriously? Just inside this stupid metal chamber thing was my body? I was so close.

"Can I… can I feel it?" I asked breathlessly, and suddenly the glass tingled under my fingertips. This was weird. This was awesome.

"No," Professor Douchebag said. "It needs time to form. It's still being speed-aged, but I can't do it too fast or it will develop problems. But soon, J, if you do what I say, this body will be yours."

"Mine?" I breathed, trying to press my fingers right through the glass, to feel the face of my own body. Mine. That was the kind of news that could turn a guy's attitude right around.

"Yours, and yours alone," the Professor droned.

"Is it… does it look nice?" I wondered. I could almost hear the guy raise his eyebrow.

"Nice?"

"Handsome," I murmured. "Is it… am I handsome?"

"Of course," Prof continued. "I picked out the genes from the gametes that provided your embryo. You did tell me what you wanted in a body. Brown hair, green eyes, strong chin, tall, yadda yadda. But my point is, J, that if you obey me, if you don't break any more rules, this body is yours. And it's within your reach."

I imagined myself walking around in my own body with my own brain, one that wasn't taken up by two different consciousnesses. I imagined seeing with two eyes that actually worked. I imagined lifting Anne into my strong arms and carrying her away to live in Canada…

That could work. I wanted it.

So bad.

"Of course," I told him. "Absolutely. Anything you want."

I could hear the sneer in his voice when he replied "Perfect."

Guys, you have no idea how sorry I am for the super late review. I know it's really late, and I am REALLY sorry. I've had so much on my plate with all my classes, but I tried to type as much and as fast as I could. Thank you for your patient wait.