Chapter Thirty-Four

They arrived at the farm on Friday, after dropping Lara off at the airport and getting dinner on the way. They were alone again, but somehow neither of them could really enjoy this fact. The girl's departure affected Kurt more than he would have admitted and Diane wasn't really sure how to handle this situation.

When she came out of the shower he wasn't in their bedroom, so she went searching for him and found him sitting on the porch.

"Are you going to sit out here all night?" she asked, eying him from the doorway.

"No, I just wanted to get some air," he turned his head in her direction slowly.

"I know you miss her already, but you'll see her again soon," Diane tried to be understanding, there wasn't much else she could do, if he didn't feel like being in her company.

"I know, I'm sorry, I don't mean to ruin our night."

"You are not ruining anything, I understand, I kind of miss her too," she smiled at him still from a distance, she wasn't sure if she should approach him or not, maybe he really wanted to be alone.

"You've been amazing with her, I cannot thank you enough," the first smile appeared on his face.

"You have no reason to thank me, she's your daughter, I love her," she confessed and he seemed to appreciate her words.

"And she loves you," he replied and reached out a hand in her direction so she finally walked there and sat down on the bench next to him.

"Do you think she really doesn't mind that we're buying our own house, that whenever she comes she'll have to put up with me as well?" Lara was one of her concerns when it came to their new home, she wanted to make sure it won't lead to any disagreements between father and daughter.

"I think she's thrilled for both of us, she just wants us to be happy," he managed to silence her worries easily like he always did.

"I really think we will be happy there, the house is just perfect," she was unable to hide her feelings for the place and she knew it made him happy to see her enthusiasm.

"And the rest is up to us."

"Yes, I'll try to behave, I promise," she chuckled and he did too.

"Same here."

She felt this probably was the right time to bring up the subject that had been on her mind almost exclusively in the last days. She might have thought about it too much already, she'd tried to figure out what to say and wasn't sure how he would react, but she couldn't let this opportunity pass. She had the necessary courage and determination, all she needed now were the suitable words.

"You know I don't always mean everything I say," she took the first step and focused on his face to catch even the slightest reactions.

"Yes, I've figured that out already," he smiled at her understandingly.

"And sometimes I just change my mind without any apparent reason."

"I've noticed that too," he chuckled slightly.

"Sometimes I change my mind about important things as well," she tried to stay serious and he had to realize already that this was an important conversation.

"Like the house?"

"Yes, like the house or more important things."

"Like what?"

"Like…," she sighed, she found herself short with words at this point.

"Are you trying to tell me something in code right now?" he finally reacted the way she'd intended and it made her smile.

"You are a smart, smart man."

"Apparently not smart enough," he smiled back at her and obviously waited for more directions, so she had to try harder, not that she'd thought this conversation would have been anything but difficult.

"I…," she hesitated once again, but then something came to her mind, "Remember when we were sitting right here a few months ago? It was the night I met Lara."

"And the night you finally told me you loved me, of course I remember."

She wanted to kiss him for remembering the night, but she still needed to get to the goal of this conversation, a distraction was something she didn't need at that moment, so she just smiled at him, showing her appreciation.

"I told you something else as well and I told you the same thing three weeks ago," she finally reached the subject, without naming it and she saw the sudden understanding in his eyes.

"Are you talking about…so you want to tell me that…I'm…," he obviously knew what she was referring too, his struggle with the words, the look on his face gave him away. Still he couldn't find the right words to say and she couldn't really expect him to say them again after all that had happened. It had been her fault, she had to be the one saying the words now, no matter how ridiculous they might have sounded from her mouth.

"Will you marry me, Kurt McVeigh?"