Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and to the readers who sent me private messages! Your words of encouragement were exactly what I needed to hear! And also thank you to all those who added this story to their alert/favorite list! I can't believe that we've reached over 700 followers and over 500 favorites! Not to mention well over 150,000 views! You guys rock! And in case anyone hasn't noticed, a reader sent me a present via twitter, which is now the new cover photo for the story! Isn't it awesome?! So, shout out to kc! Thank you!
Now, I know it's been a long road that we've travelled here and that we've all been very anxious to see some progression with Daryl and Jenna's relationship. I'm going to tell you now that from this point on, there will definitely be some more Daryl/Jenna-ness and that we will absolutely start to see some development there! I hope you're all excited to see what happens between them – I know I am! Also, we'll start to pick up a little steam time-wise as well. I'm ready to get the group past winter!
But enough rambling from me. Enjoy the chapter! Hope you guys like it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Walking Dead.
Chapter 34
Six days later. Christmas Eve.
For forty-five minutes now, Daryl had not left his spot on the porch of the safehouse. He stood with his shoulder leaned against the support post at the end of the banister, arms crossed over his chest and his crossbow hanging from his left shoulder. His gaze was trained on the road, staring in the direction that Hershel's red truck had disappeared in not long before he'd taken up his post on the porch. He cast a quick look up at the grey, overcast sky, trying to judge the time of day, then dropped his eyes back down to the road. The group going out to do one last sweep of the surrounding area for supplies hadn't even been gone for an hour, but already he was feeling on edge as he waited for their safe return. If that's how it was gonna be, he knew he had a long ass wait ahead of him.
When the door behind him opened, Daryl tore his eyes away from the road long enough to see who'd just come outside. He quirked a brow upon seeing that Chloe was his visitor. She glanced up at him as she shut the door behind herself, then, without saying a word, she came to stand next to him. Chloe casually leaned her forearms against the bannister of the railing on the other side of the post he currently leaned against, her eyes gazing over the street in front of them. She must have felt his stare on her, because she glanced up at him from the corner of her eyes. But the girl didn't say anything, just turned her eyes forward again.
"What're you doin' out here, kid?," Daryl finally asked, his tone a bit gruffer than he'd intended it to be. She had cornered him twice since first talking to him about Jenna, each time stressing to him that he needed to work things out with the redhead. In a way, he supposed her persistence was kind of endearing. After all, she was only bugging him about it so adamantly because she worshipped Jenna so much. At the same time, though, the kid's nagging was starting to get on his nerves a little.
"Same thing you are," Chloe said, giving him a knowing look. "Waiting for Jenna to come back."
Daryl was a little taken aback by the girl's bluntness at first, but then let out a scoff and nearly rolled his eyes. She wasn't necessarily wrong – Jenna going out with the others was indeed a large part of the reason why he'd been keeping watch outside – but he didn't want her to know that. "What makes ya think that's what I'm doin'?," he asked evasively.
"'Cause I'm not dumb," she answered frankly. The kid wasn't wrong about that either. Daryl was quickly discovering that the girl was quick as whip. "You still haven't talked to Jenna," Chloe said to change the subject, her hazel eyes gazing at him with accusation.
Daryl kept his eyes trained firmly ahead, refusing to meet her gaze. "Yeah, and?," he shot back with an aloof lift of his shoulder.
"Well, are ya gonna do it?," Chloe asked impatiently, pressing the issue further when Daryl didn't feel the need to elaborate on his answer.
"You always this pushy?," Daryl shot at her, skillfully avoiding having to answer her question. He was about ninety percent sure he was going to talk things out with Jenna at some point, he just wasn't sure when he'd do it or how he'd even approach it.
"No," Chloe simply, shrugging a shoulder.
Daryl heaved and turned his eyes forward again so he wouldn't have to meet the girl's piercing stare. He knew she was expecting some sort of answer, but he just didn't have one for her. He didn't know how things were going to turn out between himself and Jenna, plus it wasn't as though he was chomping at the bit to discuss their issues with anyone, especially not with Chloe. Luckily for him, he was saved from having to say anything else on the matter when the front door opened again. Daryl and Chloe both turned to see who had joined them. It was Carol.
Daryl watched as the short-haired woman limped closer, her eyes jumping from him to Chloe, then back again. "Hey," she said, smiling gently. "Can we talk real quick?" She hesitated, then shot a look toward Chloe. "Alone," Carol added.
Daryl gave a nod, then glanced down at Chloe. The girl looked between him and Carol for a moment, then seemed to take the hint and went back inside, but not without shooting one last look at him over her shoulder. Once she was inside and had shut the door behind her, he turned his gaze over to Carol and faced her fully. The woman had crossed her arms over her chest, the look on her face hard to decipher.
"What's up?," he asked.
Carol didn't say anything for a long few seconds, just continued to look at him in that unreadable way. Finally, she sighed and took another step toward him. "I…I wanted to apologize," she told him with a nod. "The day we left the diner, when you an' I were out in the woods…I said some things about Jenna that upset you." Daryl stood a little straighter at hearing that, remembering very well what she referring to. She had told him that he shouldn't worry himself about Jenna so much. She had said that Jenna was never coming back. "I feel like things haven't been the same between us since then," Carol continued, frowning now. "I just…I wanted to say that I was wrong, and you were right. And that I'm sorry."
Daryl stared at her for a moment, then slowly nodded his head. "Apology accepted," he said. He could tell Carol was being sincere and that she truly was apologetic for the things she'd said, so there was no reason for him not to forgive her. Honestly, he hadn't meant to let things get so awkward between them in the first place. He'd just been so preoccupied with everything going on that he hadn't even realized it had gotten to this point until now.
Carol looked immensely relieved. She released the breath she'd been holding and smiled, her entire body relaxing. "I'm glad to hear it." She then stepped forward and came to stand next to him, her eyes gazing out at the street for a moment before drifting back up to meet his. "You waitin' for her to get back?," she asked knowingly.
"Just keepin' an eye on things," Daryl answered evasively.
Carol nodded, but didn't necessarily look convinced. "You must be glad to have her back," she commented. "I know the rest of the group is," she added.
Daryl chewed on the inside of his cheek and shrugged a shoulder, not sure he felt completely comfortable with the direction this conversation was headed. He'd never really liked talking about his feelings, especially when it came to certain feelings about certain people. "It's good 'ta know she didn't get 'erself killed out there," he said. Then he turned a look on her, one eyebrow quirking upward. "What about you?," he inquired. "You glad she's back?"
Carol hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah." The way she said it didn't leave him feeling very convinced that she actually was happy Jenna had returned. He decided to take her at her word, though, and didn't question her on it any further. "I'm just not sure if I believe her when she says she'll stick around for good this time," Carol added, her voice filled with skepticism. "Only time will tell, I suppose."
Daryl nodded, then turned his eyes back out to the road. As silence fell between them, he thought about what Carol had just said, finding that he too wasn't sure if he believed that Jenna was completely with them. He wanted to think that she wasn't going to go anywhere, that she was indeed going to be loyal to the group and stick with them to the end, whenever that might be. But the part of him that had been so angry at her for leaving, that had gotten burned when she'd up and abandoned them, was reluctant to trust her again, was a little afraid that he'd only end up getting burned by her again if she decided to go her own way. He supposed Carol was right, though – only time would tell whether or not Jenna ended up stick around this time.
"C'mon, let's go inside," Carol suggested, breaking the silence that had stretched on for the last few minutes. "You'll catch a cold standin' out here like this."
Daryl looked at her, then shook his head. He didn't want to go inside yet. Not until he saw that red truck coming back and knew that his companions – that Jenna – had returned safely. "Nah, I'm good," he said. "You go ahead an' go inside, though. That ankle needs rest," he added, nodding his head in the direction of her sprained ankle.
Carol pressed her lips together, then sighed. "You standin' out here won't make her come back any faster, you know," she told him knowingly. Daryl didn't say anything, just turned his gaze forward to signal to her that that didn't matter – he wasn't going anywhere. "Alright then," Carol said, looking and sounding a little defeated.
She gave his shoulder a quick pat, then turned to walk back inside. Daryl glanced back at her, watching her retreating back until she had walked into the house and closed the door behind her. Once he was alone again, he turned his gaze forward again to watch the road.
The walker that came stumbling toward them the moment they entered the small shop was covered in blood, missing half of its right arm, and had lost a significant amount of skin and muscle tissue, both to decomposition and to being half eaten. If Jenna had to guess, she'd say that it had once been a middle aged woman, someone's wife in a past life if the wedding ring on its outstretched hand was anything to judge by. She cringed at the smell assaulting her senses as the thing drew nearer, then glanced at Maggie.
"You want this one?," she asked, raising a brow.
Maggie pulled a face at the zombie, then motioned Jenna forward with a sweep of her arm. "Be my guest."
Jenna nodded, took her hammer in hand, and stepped forward to meet the decaying zombie. The slow-moving walker grew more excitable as Jenna approached and its sounds of hunger escalated, its gray, bloodied fingers grappling at the air in anticipation of grabbing the human it wanted to eat. When its outstretched hand was only a few inches away from Jenna's face, she knocked its arm away with her free hand, making the flesh-eating monster momentarily lose its balance, then swung at its head with the hammer in her other one. The walker's skull caved in under the force of the blow, splattering blood on Jenna's clothes in the process, before the thing collapsed to the ground and ceased to move.
Maggie appeared by Jenna's side as she dislodged her hammer from the walker's head, staring at the mess with a critical eye. The brunette blanched a little as she looked at the dead walker, scrunching her nose up. "You never get used to the smell, do ya?"
Jenna shook her head. "Nope," she told her matter-of-factly. She could face a dozen walkers a day and still want to vomit at the putrid scent surrounding their decaying bodies. Some things you just couldn't get used to, no matter how many times you were faced with it. "Come on," Jenna urged, giving Maggie a gentle nudge with her elbow, "let's look around."
They both stepped over the fallen zombie and walked further into the resale shop they'd decided to check out in a last ditch effort to find useful supplies. As Maggie went off and started searching through a rack of men's clothing, grabbing things at random and stuffing them into her bag as she came across articles of clothing the men might need, Jenna wandered over to a row of shelves that held all sorts of gadgets and gizmos. She saw a number of dusty old radios and old televisions lining the shelves, as well as large, clunky cameras and ancient looking video cameras. Nearly all looked like they'd been in their prime no later than the mid-eighties. Even if the world was back to how it was, the electronics still probably would have been next to useless.
Something did catch her attention as she moved to the end of the shelf, though. She made a small sound of interest and reached for one of four walkie-talkies on the very end of the top shelf. After wiping off the layer of dust that had accumulated on it, she turned it to and fro as she inspected the device. There was space on the backside for batteries, which she quickly pried open with her fingernails so she could see if any batteries were inside. There weren't. Apparently the owner of the resale shop had planned to sell those separately.
Jenna turned to face the direction Maggie had gone, searching for her amongst the clothing racks. "Hey, Maggie?"
The slightly younger woman's head raised, just visible over the top of a rack of men's shirts. "Yeah?"
"You got any batteries on you?," she asked curiously, wanting to test out the walkie-talkies to see if they still worked. If so, there wasn't a doubt in the world that they'd come in very handy, especially when they were out on runs and needed to touch base with the safehouse
"I don't think so, but lemme check just'a be sure," Maggie said. With a frown of concentration on her pretty face, she took a second to rifle through the contents of her bag and see what all was inside, searching for any batteries that may have been left in there from a previous search. After a minute or two, she looked back to Jenna and shook her head. "I don't have any," she told her, which made Jenna sigh with disappointment. "Why don't ya check around the checkout counter?," Maggie suggested. "There might be some there."
Jenna nodded, grabbed another walkie-talkie from the shelf, then turned to head for the checkout counter in the back of the shop while Maggie resumed her perusing of the clothes, looking for new things for the group to wear since laundry was an impossible feat at this juncture in time. Jenna had just reached the counter and set the walkies down when her stomach gave a massive rumble of hunger, a sound and feeling that was impossible for her to ignore.
Jenna pressed her lips together and sighed through her nose, rubbing a hand over her stomach in an attempt to soothe the hunger that resonated there. Due to the fact that their food supply was diminishing more and more with each passing day, breakfast that morning had been nowhere near enough to leaving her remotely close to full. She'd only had enough to give her a little energy for the supply run. They'd been trying to restock their supply by hunting and scavenging, but they just couldn't seem to find anything anywhere. Jenna sincerely hoped luck would be on their side today and that they'd find some food. If they didn't, well…things weren't going to be good.
Diligently ignoring the rumbling in her tummy, Jenna resumed her inspection of the area around the cash register, searching for batteries. When she didn't see any right off the bat, she walked around behind the counter and started searching through the drawers underneath the register, hoping that they might have just kept them stored out of sight. Jenna eventually did find a few double A's in the third drawer she checked, but it wasn't was she needed – the walkie-talkies required triple-A batteries, and each one needed four of them to work. She was a little disappointed that she hadn't been able to find what she was looking for, but reassured herself that she'd be able to find them somewhere else.
"Find any batteries?," Maggie asked as Jenna stepped out from behind the cash register.
"Not the ones I need," Jenna said with a shake of her head. "We'll bring the walkie-talkies back with us anyway, though. We can find batteries elsewhere and test them back at the safehouse. If they work, great. If not, we'll just trash 'em," she reasoned with a shrug of her shoulder, stuffing the two walkies she'd brought with her into the bag before going back to the shelves of electronics to collect the other two. Once all of the walkie-talkies were in her bag, she went over to join Maggie in her search for clothing for the group.
"So tell me," Jenna started conversationally, glancing over at Maggie as she went to one of the other racks and started thumbing through the line of women's tops, "how are things with Glenn?," she asked, thinking there no better time than the present to indulge in a little girl talk with Maggie while they had the privacy to do so.
Maggie looked over at her and smiled, her cheeks going a little pink. "Things're great. Glenn…he's an amazin' guy," she answered. "He can be a little…overprotective at times," the brunette added, raising her brows. Jenna knew that was the truth – hell, he hardly ever let Maggie out his sight. "But I know it's just 'cause he loves me, and 'cause worries about me an' wants 'ta keep me safe," she reasoned with a nod. "I don't know where I'd be without Glenn," Maggie admitted. "I love my family, but…truth be told, he's the main thing that keeps me goin'. Ya know?"
Jenna smiled, happy to hear that her two friends had such a strong connection with one another and, against all odds, had managed to find true love in the mad world they all lived in. "Yeah, I know," she said, nodding her understanding.
Maggie mimicked her smile, looking a little lost in her own thoughts for a second, then turned her gaze back to Jenna. "How about you?," she asked in return. "How are things between you an' Daryl?"
The question made Jenna sigh and shrug a shoulder. "Better, I guess," she said, a hint of uncertainty lacing her words, mindlessly stuffing a few long sleeved shirts into her bad.
Though she and Daryl still weren't on speaking terms, he'd at least started acting a little less hostile toward her the past three or four days. She'd noticed that Daryl no longer seemed to be looking for any and every excuse to get out of the house and had actually been hanging around a little more. And though he still wouldn't sit near to her in meal times or do anything that put him directly by her side, he didn't rush off at the sight of her anymore. It wasn't much, but it felt like some progress. Or, the cynical part of her brain thought, maybe nothing had changed at all. Maybe she was just so used to him keeping her at a distance that it felt normal now.
Maggie frowned sympathetically, easily picking up on Jenna's doubt of the situation. "Hang in there," the brunette said encouragingly. "I have a good feelin' about you two. Things'll get better soon, I'm sure of it."
Jenna wasn't completely convinced of that, but she appreciated Maggie's confident reassurance nonetheless. "Thanks." Maggie just nodded and smiled in return.
Their conversation lulled for few minutes as both women went to search in different parts of the store – Maggie went for the shoes, while Jenna meandered over to a small jewelry section. She let her fingers trail over the various necklaces and bracelets hanging from the jewelry display, eyeing them with interest. For a week now she'd been trying to think of a Christmas present for Chloe, but so far hadn't been able to come up with anything. She had even gone so far as to ask the eleven-year-old if there was anything she wanted for a present. Chloe's response, of course, had been that the only thing she wanted for Christmas was for the group to have a nice, normal day and be happy. It was a very sweet answer, but it did nothing to help Jenna with her dilemma.
But now, looking at the jewelry, she felt like she might have finally found her answer. When she spotted a golden necklace with a horseshoe charm on it, she picked it up and held it eyelevel to inspect it, watching as the horseshoe swayed back and forth. With a smile, she placed the necklace in her pocket.
Jenna had just finished putting the necklace away when a noise suddenly shattered the silence of the thrift store. The unexpected sound of something falling over echoed loudly through the shop, making both Jenna and Maggie jump a bit and look toward a closed door off to the side of the checkout counter. Jenna, heart pounding against her ribs now, made eye contact with Maggie and then silently motioned to the door, using hand signals to tell her that she was going to check out the source of the noise and that she wanted the brunette to back her up. Maggie nodded and, together, they made their way out of the racks of clothes and moved quietly toward the door at the back of the shop.
With Maggie behind her, the brunette wielding the cleaver she'd brought along instead of the rifle hanging from a strap around her torso, Jenna pressed her ear to the door to listen for any noises on the other side. As the sound of rustling and scratching around registered in her ears, she determined that there was definitely something moving around on the other side, only she wasn't sure what. Jenna backed up, took her hammer in hand again, grabbed the door handle with her free hand, then looked at Maggie. After silently counting backwards from three, Jenna turned the handle and yanked the door open. What awaited them on the other side, however, wasn't quite what they expected.
The raccoon hissed and spat at them as it ran at their feet, clearly frightened by their unexpected presence and going into defense mode. Jenna and Maggie both let out shrieks of mingled fear and surprise and jumped out of the way, trying to avoid getting bitten as the creature snapped at their ankles. They both relaxed once the thing had scampered off and gotten too far away to be a threat, but then, as it ran towards the open door that led into the shop, Jenna realized that the fat raccoon was a perfectly good meal that they were about to let get away. Without a second thought, she tore off after it.
"Help me grab it!," she called to Maggie over her shoulder, rushing in front of the raccoon so she could close the door to the shop and trap it inside.
"What?," Maggie asked in an incredulous tone, looking at Jenna like she'd lost her mind. "That thing's prob'ly got rabies!"
"That thing could feed the group tonight!," Jenna countered in a rush, looking for something to trap the animal with as it ran in another direction, searching for an alternate way out of the shop.
Maggie blinked at her for a second, but then did as she was told and moved to help Jenna. After grabbing a large coat to use as a make-shift net, Jenna, with the help of Maggie, spent the next five minutes chasing the thing all around the shop until they finally managed to back it into a corner. The raccoon hissed some more and made threatening moves toward them as they stepped closer, but the two undeterred females continued to advance, jumping into the raccoon's path anytime it tried to make an escape attempt to keep it contained.
"Now what do we do?," Maggie asked, glancing toward Jenna.
Jenna shoved the coat into Maggie's hands. "Throw the coat over it and hold it still," she instructed, quickly devising a plan.
"And then what?," Maggie demanded, quirking a brow.
Jenna lifted her hammer and gave Maggie a look. "I'm gonna whack it with my hammer."
Maggie looked like she might be ill for a second as she looked at the weapon in question, but she quickly rallied herself back up and nodded in agreement. Looking none too thrilled about what was about to take place, Maggie held the coat open as wide as it would go and advanced on the raccoon, her features set in a cringe. All of a sudden she leapt at the critter and threw the coat over it, managing to wrangle the thing up as though she was a cowboy in a rodeo competition trying to hog-tie a calf in the quickest amount of time.
"I've got it!," Maggie said once she was sure she had the raccoon secure. "Hurry!"
Wasting no time, Jenna hurried forward while Maggie still had the raccoon under control, raised her hammer, and then brought it down on what she hoped was the critter's head. A squeak of pain filled the air as the hammer made contact, which made her wince in response, but as Jenna gave another firm whack of her hammer and a horrible squelching sound reached their ears, the squeaking abruptly cut off. When the raccoon stopped moving altogether, she and Maggie both knew that it was dead.
Maggie released her hold on the coat and sat up, looking a little pale. A few seconds of silence passed between them before Maggie turned her eyes up to Jenna and meekly said, "Well, that was…awful."
Jenna stared at the dark spot of blood that had soaked through the coat, watching as it slowly but steadily grew larger in size. She then gave her head a small shake and shifted her gaze to meet Maggie's. "Believe me, it wasn't fun for me either," she said, feeling remorseful for having ended the creature's life in such a brutal way. "But," she continued, pulling herself together, "we need the food. I'd rather sacrifice the raccoon then let someone in the group go hungry," Jenna reasoned.
Maggie took a deep breath, then slowly nodded. "I guess you're right," she said, though still seemed a little put off by the situation. "Since it was your idea, I'll let you carry it back to the house," Maggie said with finality, shooting Jenna a pointed look as she stood back up. "I'll finish grabbin' the clothes while you find somethin' to put the raccoon in. Then we should get back to the guys. They'll be wonderin' what's takin' us so long." And with that Maggie turned and walked away, leaving Jenna to deal with a raccoon.
Jenna sighed, looked down at the bloody coat again, then went off in search of another bag so that the one she regularly used for supply runs wouldn't get ruined. It took her a few minutes, but she finally located a duffel bag big enough to hold the creature. She grabbed it, returned to where the raccoon was, then gently grabbed the dead animal – coat and all – and placed it in the bag, making sure to keep the blood-soaked garment covering the raccoon so she wouldn't have to see the damage she'd done. Once the bag was zipped up, she lifted it by the handles and went to rejoin Maggie. The brunette was shoving clothes into her bag at random now, clearly just trying to get what they needed as quickly as possible so they could get a move on.
"Ready when you are," Jenna told the brunette.
Maggie nodded, zipped her bag once it was full, then jerked her head toward the door. "Let's go."
They left the shop and walked back out onto the cold street, each of them giving a small shudder in response to the icy wind that whipped through their hair and chilled any exposed skin; it had been cold for a long while now, but in recent days it had been feeling downright freezing. Jenna saw movement from the corner of her eye and glanced in that direction, barely even reacting as her eyes landed on three zombies walking aimlessly around on the far end of the road. She didn't bother warning Maggie about them since they were too far away to be of concern to anyone. Jenna just turned her back on the monsters and followed her brown haired companion as they started in the direction of the Family Dollar just down the road, where they'd last left Glenn and T-Dog.
They reached the Family Dollar within five minutes and discovered that T-Dog and Glenn had finished their search of the store and were loading their bags into Hershel's red truck. As a small group of walkers came into sight a little further down the road, Jenna and Maggie wasted no time and headed toward the two men, weaving in between the sparse littering of cars in the parking lot – all of which they had already searched on their way to the thrift shop – and stepping over the few fallen walkers that they'd killed upon arriving. Once they had gotten close enough for the men to hear their footsteps, T-Dog and Glenn both whipped around and raised their weapons, on alert. They both quickly relaxed, though, when they saw it was just Jenna and Maggie.
"Hey," Glenn greeted, looking relieved at the sight of his friend and girlfriend returning unharmed. Maggie went to his side and they squeezed each other's hands, giving each other a quick, affectionate look. "Glad to see you're both okay," he told them, glancing between Jenna and Maggie with a small smile.
"Right back at ya," Jenna responded, giving first Glenn, then T-Dog discreet once overs, looking for any signs of injury. When she didn't see anything alarming or out of the ordinary, she felt herself relax even further. "Find anything useful in there?," she asked, curious to know what kind of haul they'd managed to get their hands on.
"Got some of the basics – toilet paper, wet wipes, deodorant, toothpaste, so on and so forth," Glenn listed off. Then he frowned, a hint of frustration showing on his features. "But as far as food goes, there wasn't all that much to find," he revealed, which left Jenna with a sinking feeling of disappointment in her food-deprived belly. "We found some canned stuff, some chips, some cereal. It's better than nothing'," Glenn sighed, "but not nearly enough. It'll probably only last for the next few days, maybe a little longer if we're really strict about it."
"Wonderful," Jenna said without enthusiasm, moving to the bed of the truck so she could start loading her bags. It seemed like their string of bad luck had continued. She had a feeling Rick wasn't going to be happy to hear about it, either.
"What about you?," T-Dog asked with an upward nod of his head. "You two run into any trouble out there?,"
"Nah, it's pretty quiet around here," Jenna reassured him, shaking her head. "Other than a few gross looking chompers and an altercation with a fat raccoon, there's nothing to report," she added with a shrug.
T-Dog quirked a brow while Glenn frowned in confusion. Maggie just grimaced at the reminder of what had just taken place in the thrift shop. "Altercation with a raccoon?," T-Dog asked unsurely. "Care to elaborate?"
"The thing was trapped in a back room of the shop. Scared the absolute piss outta me and Maggie when we heard it rustling around and went to investigate," she explained, shaking her head in exasperation. "You should have heard the shrieks of utter terror the two of us let out," Jenna remarked with a self-deprecating roll of her eyes.
T-Dog snorted while Glenn smirked, both looking amused by the retelling. "I can only imagine," T-Dog said, chuckling to himself a bit.
"What happened to the raccoon? Did it get away?," Glenn inquired.
Jenna shared a look with Maggie. "No, not exactly," Maggie answered, shaking her head. "That's him," she said, nodding her head toward the bag Jenna carried in her left hand.
It took a few seconds, but after Glenn and T-Dog both stared at the bag with curiosity, realization seemed to finally dawn on them. "Is it dead?," Glenn asked, pointing to the bag with raised brows.
Jenna nodded her head in confirmation, then placed the bag in the truck with the others. "Damn," T-Dog said, looking impressed by the fact that she and Maggie had managed to capture and kill a wild raccoon. "I guess this means you won the fight," he told her, quirking a brow.
"The animal lover in me didn't wanna do it," she said with a hint of guilt, "but all the survivor in me could think about was how we needed the food. It just seemed like the right thing to do, I guess."
"Hey, no judgement here," T-Dog reassured her, holding his hands up. "And when everyone's got a full stomach tonight, I don't think they'll be complainin' either." Jenna smiled at him, grateful for his supportive words.
"What else did you guys find?," Glenn asked so they could move on with the conversation.
"Got new clothes for everyone, new shoes, some little odds an' ends we came across," Maggie listed off. "Jenna found some walkie-talkies, too."
"That right?," T-Dog asked with interest.
Jenna nodded in confirmation. "Which reminds me," she said, unzipping the bag hanging from her shoulder and pulling out two of the walkies. "Ya'll didn't happen to pick up some triple-A's in there, did you?"
"Actually, we did," Glenn answered, stepping away from Maggie for a second so he could go to one of the bags he'd already loaded in the truck and start rifling through it. "How many you need?"
"Eight."
Once Glenn had the amount needed, he walked back over to Jenna with the batteries in hand. She took four batteries, then passed one of the walkies over to him so they could load them up at the same time. As soon as the batteries were in place, they clicked on the walkies, made sure they were on the same channel, then tested them out. To the approval of all four of them, the walkies worked.
"At least one good thing came out of this run," Jenna said with a smile, pleased with the fact that they'd be able to bring something useful back to the group.
"Hallelujah," T-Dog piped up.
In the next moment, the all too familiar sounds of incoming zombies reached their ears, drawing the attention of the group. The walkers that had been down the road when Jenna and Maggie had returned to the Family Dollar had now made their way to the parking lot – four of them were closing in, having spotted the group of humans loitering nearby and moved in for the kill. Without even having to discuss it, Jenna and her companions took their weapons in hand and went to meet the walkers, disposing of them quickly and effortlessly. Once the last one was down and the immediate threat was taken care of, they all shared looks with one another.
"I think that's our cue to head back," Jenna stated, eyeing another two walkers that had only just reached the edge of the parking lot.
"Agreed," Glenn said with a nod. "C'mon, let's clear out and head home."
And with that they all went to stow the rest of their things in the bed of the truck, then piled into the cab. Within minutes Glenn had started the engine and they were pulling out of the parking lot, headed back in the direction of the safehouse.
It was nearly mid afternoon by the time they were pulling back into the driveway of the safehouse. Jenna opened the door and got out of the truck just as Glenn cut the engine. While her three comrades all got out of the car and moved to the bed of the truck so they could collect their haul, Jenna hesitated and glanced in the direction of the porch, surprised when she saw that Daryl was in almost the exact same place he'd been when they'd left. Their eyes met and held for a long moment, until Daryl finally turned away and went to the front door so he could pop his head inside and call something to the others. More than likely, he was telling the rest of the group that they'd returned.
Jenna finally went to collect her bags, then followed Glenn, Maggie, and T-Dog up to the house. By the time they'd ascended the steps up to the porch, Rick, Hershel, and Chloe had all made their way outside and joined Daryl on the porch.
While Hershel moved to greet Maggie, looking very glad to see that his daughter had returned unscathed, Chloe, features lit up with a wide smile, wasted no time throwing her arms around Jenna's middle the moment she was close enough to be reached. Jenna grinned back and maneuvered her bags so that she could free up an arm and return Chloe's hug. When she spared Daryl a brief glance, he was watching her and Chloe's interaction with what seemed like interest.
"I'm glad you're back," the girl said earnestly, drawing Jenna's attention away from Daryl and back to Chloe. "I was worried."
Jenna patted the eleven-year-old reassuringly on the back. "It's good to see you, too," she told the girl. "And there's nothing to worry about. The others took care of me, just like I told you they would," she added, pulling back a little so that she could look Chloe in the eye. Chloe just nodded and released her hold on Jenna, still looking mighty relieved that her guardian had returned safely.
"So?," Rick asked to draw the attention to himself. "Did you guys have any luck?," he asked, eyes shifting expectantly between the four people who'd gone on the supply run.
They all looked to each other for a quick second before anyone answered. "Some," Jenna spoke up when nobody else did, making every eye in the area shift to her. "But not much." She began relaying the inventory they'd brought back, listing off the clothes, toiletries, walkie-talkies, and food they'd brought back. Though Rick seemed pleased with the fact that they had working walkie-talkies and some of the everyday necessities they'd been needing, he did not look pleased when he heard how little food they had brought back. "Oh, and a raccoon," Jenna concluded, briefly holding up the bag containing the dead critter before setting it down on the ground. Rick, Daryl, and Hershel's expression all took on varying degrees of surprise to hear that last one. "It should keep us fed for tonight," she told them with a shrug.
Rick sighed and placed his hands on his hips, looking disappointed. "I'm glad we managed to get some of what we needed. The walkie-talkies will really come in handy, too," he told them, nodding his head. "I'd hoped we'd get our hands on more food, though," he admitted, looking frustrated with the fact that there hadn't been more to find.
"We looked all over," Glenn spoke up, "but there just wasn't any to find," he told Rick with a shake of his head.
Rick nodded his head in understanding. "Guess a little is better than none at all," he reasoned, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than anyone else. "Thanks for goin' out there an' findin' all this," Rick told them, forcing on an appreciative look. "Why don't ya'll take everything inside an' get settled. You've earned it."
Rick, Daryl, and Hershel all remained where they were, while the group that had gone on the supply run nodded, then rounded up their bags and started shuffling their way inside so that they could get out of the cold. Jenna and Chloe were the last to make their way inside, with Chloe leading the way. Just as the girl stepped inside and Jenna started to follow, however, the sound of Rick's voice stopped her.
"Hold up for a second, Jenna," he called, making her halt and look to him with curious eyes. "There's somethin' I wanna discuss real quick."
Jenna nodded her understanding, then shot a quick at Chloe as the girl turned to see why she hadn't come inside yet. "Go on ahead," she told the girl, "I'll be inside in a second."
Though Chloe looked like she wanted to know what was going on, she nodded and followed the others further into the house. Jenna closed the front door so that they'd have privacy, then walked back over to where Rick, Daryl, and Hershel were all standing. Again, she found her gaze wandering over to Daryl, and, again, their eyes met and held for a few seconds. They only looked away from one another when Rick spoke up, drawing the attention back to himself.
"I think the time's come for us to relocate again," he stated bluntly, wasting no time by beating around the bush.
Daryl didn't seem too surprised by what Rick had said, but Hershel gave a small, almost weary sigh in response, looking none-to-thrilled at the idea of moving to a new safehouse. As for Jenna, she wasn't sure how often the group had been moving around but she did know from past experience that when travelling out in the open, it was never a very good idea to linger anywhere for much longer than a few weeks at a time – it seemed the longer one stayed in the same place, the greater the risk that things could go terribly, terribly wrong.
"I've been thinkin' it for a few days now," Rick continued when nobody said anything in response, "but was holdin' out the hope that things might turn around for the better. Clearly that ain't gonna happen." Rick fell silent for a moment, raising his brows as he looked between Jenna, Daryl, and Hershel. "Anyone got anything 'ta say?"
Jenna looked to Hershel first, then Daryl, waiting to see if either man was going to speak up. Daryl, surprisingly enough, spoke first. "We ain't been havin' much luck huntin'. Or with findin' stuff on supply runs," he stated matter-of-factly.
"Daryl's right," Jenna agreed, which made Daryl's eyes fly back over to her. She only briefly met his gaze, then quickly focused on Rick. "He hunts constantly," she said with a motion toward Daryl, "and the rest of us have gone on supply runs nearly every day for the past two weeks. With those odds you'd think we'd have enough food for the rest of winter, but, in reality, we've got hardly anything to show for it. There's just…nothing else to find," she stated simply, shaking her head. "This area's tapped out."
"But there aren't any walkers around," Hershel pointed out. "It's still quiet here. That might not be the case somewhere else."
"That's a risk we're gonna have to take," Jenna said with a shrug of her shoulder. "Right now we have enough food to hold us until we can find a place to restock. If we stay here too much longer, we're gonna run out of the food and then we'll all be up shit creek without a paddle."
"And there ain't any walkers here now, but there will be at some point," Daryl piped up. Jenna was shocked to the core by the fact that he seemed to actually be taking her side. "Might as well get a move on now while we've got the time an' resources 'ta get us to wherever we end up next."
Rick took a moment to consider their words, then gave a firm nod. "Alright then, it's settled," he said decisively, his tone laced
with authority. "Daryl an' I will figure out where we're goin', then we'll head out in the morning."
Jenna felt a slight sinking feeling in her stomach in response to Rick's words. As much as she agreed that the time had come to move on, she couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that tomorrow was Christmas. She knew how much the group – especially Chloe and Carl – had been looking forward to celebrating the holiday in their festively decorated safehouse, which meant she knew exactly how disappointed everyone would be if they left before they had the chance to celebrate Christmas there.
"Tomorrow's Christmas," Jenna said with a slight cringe, unable to hold the words back.
"Yeah, and?," Rick asked, clearly not seeing why she was pointing this out to him.
Jenna sighed and shrugged. "It's just…everyone's really been looking forward to it," she explained. "It's our first Christmas together and everyone worked so hard decorating the house." When Rick did not look convinced – or particularly impressed – with her argument, she tried a different approach. "I know it's important to move on and find a new place that actually has the resources we need, but…this is important, too," she insisted. "It's important to the group, especially so to Chloe and Carl." At the mention of his son, Rick's expression softened a bit. "Could we just wait until after Christmas?," Jenna asked. "We can make it here one more day, can't we?"
Daryl and Hershel looked to Rick as the man thought her suggestion over. Finally, after a few seconds, Rick gave a heavy sigh and nodded his head. "Alright," he conceded. "We'll wait stay one more day. But no more than that."
Jenna immediately nodded her understanding. "Thank you, Rick."
With that being said, Rick went brushing past her and walked back inside. Hershel lingered behind just long enough to give Jenna a smile and pat on the shoulder, evidently approving of the fact that she'd convinced Rick to let the group stay put for Christmas, then followed the group's leader inside.
As the older man disappeared from sight, Jenna quickly realized that the only person with her now was Daryl. She turned to look at him, surprised by the fact that they were alone for the first time in nearly two weeks – she would have expected him to hurry inside and get away from, like he usually did. When he took a step toward her and extended his hand, her eyebrows rose in even greater shock. He had caught her so off guard that she had no idea what he was doing – she glanced from his unreadable expression down to his outstretched hand, then back up again, this time peering at him with obvious confusion.
"Gimme the raccoon," he said neutrally, neither his tone nor expression giving away whatever he might be thinking or feeling. His guard was up, though, that much Jenna could tell right off the bat. "I'll get it skinned an' gutted for dinner."
Jenna nodded and passed the bag containing the raccoon over to him without saying a word. Honestly, she didn't know what the hell to say to him. This was the first time Daryl had willingly talked to her since the first day she'd been back with the group. And as if that wasn't shocking enough, he was even being cordial about it. Quite suddenly she was terrified to say anything at all. After two weeks of waiting and hoping and praying that things between her and Daryl would get better, she felt as though they might be on the verge of taking that first, cautious baby step towards reconciliation. The last thing she wanted to do was accidently say or do the wrong thing and wind up driving Daryl away again.
"Thank you," she finally managed out, choosing the safe route. "I'd've butchered the thing if I'd tried to do it," she added with a quick smile, hoping to lighten the tension lingering in the air.
"Uh huh," Daryl grunted back noncommittally.
They stood there for a long moment after that, neither knowing what to say to the other as they stared at each other in awkward silence. Finally, when it seemed Daryl couldn't stand the silence anymore, he moved past her and started for the front door. Jenna released the breath she'd been holding as she watched him go, not really sure she knew how she should be feeling in that moment. Before she had the chance to figure out, however, Daryl suddenly stopped in front of the door and turned his eyes toward her again, looking very much like he was going to say something to her. Jenna waited, as eager as she was anxious to know what was going through his head…
But, to her dismay, Daryl seemed to decide against whatever had been on the tip of tongue. With a heave, he turned his eyes away from hers and continued into the house, not sparing her another glance as he opened the front door and disappeared inside. All Jenna could do was stare at the space he'd just occupied, unable to help feeling disappointed. Then, with a sigh of her own, she trailed after Daryl and went inside to join her friends.
The next day ended up going exactly how everyone hoped it would. Nobody went on a run, nobody went on a hunt, nobody even stepped foot outside of the house. For just one day, the outside world and all of its countless dangers ceased to exist – there were no walkers, no other survivors to worry about, nothing. It didn't even matter that they only had enough food to see them through the next few days, nor was anyone worrying about the threat of hunger that had been hanging over them more and more for the last week. All that mattered that day was each other, and all anyone wanted was to make the day as enjoyable as possible.
The day started off simple. Everyone slept in as late as they could – which wasn't all that late, really – then, once everyone was awake, the first rounds of hugs and 'Merry Christmas's were shared. They had a small breakfast and ate around the fire in the living room, talking and laughing with each other and feeling more carefree than they'd felt in a long while. Even Rick, who hadn't been too keen on sticking around the safehouse for an extra day, began to loosen up once he saw how happy and relaxed everyone was. The only one who wasn't all that into the holiday was, unsurprisingly, Daryl. He seemed a little uncomfortable with whole idea of Christmas and kept mostly to himself, only speaking to others if they spoke to him first.
Throughout the day they passed the time by talking about past Christmases with family and friends, recounting popular Christmas stories as best they could, or reenacting their favorite Christmas movies. Once the sun had gone down and it came time for dinner, they all sat quietly and held each other's hands as Hershel said a prayer over their meal. After dinner, since there had been no opportunity for the group to get gifts for each other, everyone agreed to take one item from their personal belongings, sat in a large circle, then passed their item to the person on their left as a way of giving out Christmas gifts. Daryl had tried not to participate in this event, but everyone had pestered him until he finally caved and begrudgingly joined them. The festivities did end on a bit of a surprising note when T-Dog suddenly went to his bag and produced three large handfuls of assorted candy bars, which he'd picked up in secret at the Family Dollar to surprise the group with. Snickers, Butterfingers, Reese's, and every type of candy bar one could think of got dumped on a table in the center of the room, ready for the taking. Everyone in the group eagerly helped themselves, then proceeded to gorge until they nearly felt sick.
With their impending departure looming on the horizon, most of the group decided to call it an early night so they could rest up before the move. It wasn't long before everyone had gone off to their respective beds and settled in for the night, feeling full on sweets and happy from a quiet, relaxing day. After a while, only a few remained awake. Rick, as always, was awake and pouring over the map, T-Dog was out on the porch keeping watch, Daryl was thumbing through the book he'd gotten from Chloe as his Christmas gift, while Jenna and Chloe were sitting by the fire and talking in hushes tones.
"Did you have a good Christmas?," Jenna asked, keeping her voice down so as not to wake the others sleeping nearby.
Chloe nodded her head, smiling. "I did, yeah," she told Jenna. "I'm just glad that we made it long enough to actually enjoy Christmas. Before I met you, I didn't know if that was gonna happen," Chloe then admitted, frowning a bit.
Jenna smiled and dropped an arm around her shoulders, pulling the young girl into her side. "We're gonna have a lot of Christmases ahead of us, Chloe," she said matter-of-factly, her tone and expression full of optimism. "Someday soon we're all gonna find somewhere safe to live, someplace to settle down in and turn into a home. And once we do that, we'll have years upon years of holidays to celebrate together."
Chloe smiled a bit at Jenna's vision for the group's future, but still cast a somewhat hesitant look up at her. "You think so?"
"I know so," Jenna said with a nod. "But, that's all in the future," she said, redirecting the conversation. "Right now, there's still a little bit more of this Christmas to celebrate."
Chloe looked confused at once. "Whaddya mean?"
Jenna raised her eyebrows, immediately feigning incredulousness. "With all the runs I've gone on the past week, you didn't honestly think I wouldn't stop to get a real Christmas gift for my favorite partner in crime, did you?," she asked, using a tone that made it sound as though she was offended. But then Jenna smiled and unwound her arm from Chloe's shoulders so she could reach into the pocket of her jacket. "I got you something," she announced in a lowered tone, "only I didn't wanna give it to you in front of the others. You know, in case someone got jealous."
Chloe positively lit up when she saw the small box that Jenna produced from her pocket. Instead of taking it, however, Chloe suddenly jumped to her feet and hurried to her bag. Jenna watched in confusion as the girl dug into the side pocket of her duffel, wondering what she was looking for. She was still frowning with uncertainty once Chloe had located what she wanted and came back to join her. "Chloe, what – ?" Jenna started to ask.
"I got you something, too," Chloe interrupted, grinning as she held the item in question behind her back.
Jenna's eyebrows shot up to her hairline in complete surprise. "You did?," she asked in shock, wondering when in the hell Chloe had managed to get her hands on a Christmas present for her.
Chloe nodded, then sat back down on the couch next to Jenna. Then, after a small moment of hesitation, she moved her left hand from behind her back and extended the gift towards Jenna. Almost immediately, Jenna felt her heart melt as she gently took the bracelet from Chloe to get a closer look. It was a thin, silver bangle bracelet with a half of a heart charm dangling from it, the heart bearing the letters 'Be' and 'Fri'. Jenna knew in an instant it was one of those friendship bracelets that came in a set of two and, when put together with the other wearer, made the heart a whole. Sure enough, Chloe moved her other hand from behind her back to show the companion bracelet, which had the letters 'st' and 'ends' on its heart charm. If they were to put the two together, it would read 'Best Friends'.
"I found them when we were in Moreland," Chloe said, blushing a bit as Jenna continued to inspect the bracelet, her fingers gentle and careful as they touched the heart charm. "You know, the day we found Glenn and Maggie?"
Jenna thought back to that day, immediately remembering the boutique they had searched through. Chloe had grabbed something from the jewelry section, but had refused to show Jenna what – or even acknowledge that she'd taken anything. It had seemed kind of odd at the time, but now her secrecy made perfect sense. "It's beautiful, Chloe," she said, slipping the bracelet around her wrist and taking a moment to admire the way it looked.
Chloe smiled, placing her own bracelet around her own wrist. "It's true, you know," she said, nodding. "You are my best friend."
Jenna, feeling a little overwhelmed with emotion, wrapped Chloe up in a tight hug that the girl was more than happy to reciprocate. They hugged for a long few minutes, before Jenna placed a kiss on the top of her head and gently pulled away. "Here," she said, clearing her throat to try to clear out the lump that had formed there, "now you open mine," Jenna urged, passing the box over to her.
Chloe smiled, then quickly opened the box. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of the necklace inside. "It's so pretty," she said, gently taking the necklace out from the box and holding it up so she could see the horseshoe charm better. "Will you help me put it on?"
"Sure," Jenna said, nodding. She took the necklace from Chloe, then draped it around her neck and made quick work of the clasp in the back, securing it. "Horseshoes are good luck, you know. And in some cultures, it's even a symbol of protection," she said as Chloe reached up to toy with the charm. "I promised you I'd always protect you, and I'm gonna do my absolute best to stay true to that promise," she explained, smiling as she smoothed some of Chloe's hair back from her face. "But there may be times where I won't be there. That's where this will come in handy," she said, nodding to the necklace. "As long as you have your lucky horseshoe on, you'll always be protected."
When Chloe looked up to her, her eyes had filled with tears and a happy smile had stretched across her face. "Thank you. I love it."
Jenna smiled and wrapped her arm around Chloe's shoulders again, pulling the girl back into her side. They both relaxed into the couch, basking in the happiness of their private gift exchange and feeling closer than ever. Jenna sighed and kissed the top of Chloe's head again, stowing every detail of this moment away in her memory so that she would always remember it. "Merry Christmas, Chloe," she said.
Chloe wrapped her arms around Jenna's middle and hugged her tightly. "Merry Christmas, Jenna."
About an hour and a half after Chloe finally fell asleep, Jenna bundled herself up and went outside to relieve T-Dog of his watch so she could take over for the next few hours. Though it was cold outside and she would have much rather been sleeping in her warm bed next to Chloe, she sucked it up and did her duty, remaining on the porch under her blanket and keeping an eye out for any sign of movement nearby. It was a quiet night, though, and as the hours slowly ticked by, nothing of interest happened. There had been nothing. Not a walker, not a human, not a deer. Not even a squirrel or an opossum.
With a sigh, she set her gun down on the ground next to her and settled further into her chair, rubbing her cold nose for a moment to warm it up again. The air made the new bracelet around her wrist feel cold against her skin, which drew her attention to the gift. Turning her eyes down to the silver jewelry, Jenna toyed with the half-heart she wore and gave a small, fond smile. Chloe's present was so sweet and heartfelt, a true testament to the girl's personality. The last thing Jenna had ever expected was to meet and become the guardian of a little girl, but now that she had, she honestly couldn't imagine life any other way. She didn't want to imagine life with Chloe in it.
The sound of the front door opening caught Jenna's attention and made her lift her head and sit a little straighter. She'd been on watch for a good three hours now, which meant that it was probably Rick, who'd said he'd come and be her relief after he got a few hours of shut eye, coming to relieve her. Jenna climbed to her feet and turned to face Rick, more than ready to say her goodbyes and go get some sleep…but when she realized that the man who'd just walked outside was not Rick Grimes, she froze with surprise.
Daryl hesitated a bit as their eyes met, looking a little unsure of the situation. But then he closed the door and shifted the crossbow hanging from his shoulder, walking to the edge of the porch and taking a moment to have a look around the dark street. "Anything to report?," he asked without looking at her.
"No, nothing," Jenna answered, still caught off guard by Daryl's sudden appearance. "I thought Rick was gonna be my relief tonight?," she asked unsurely, wondering why there'd been a change in plans.
"Rick needed the sleep," Daryl answered, finally turning around so that he was facing her. "I told him I'd take over."
Jenna nodded her understanding. "I see," she said slowly. When Daryl didn't say anything else to her after that, just stared at her as though waiting for her to leave, she quickly picked up her gun and started in the direction of the front door. "I'll just…leave you to it, then," Jenna said, offering a pinched smile as she went to leave.
She had almost made it to the door when Daryl suddenly spoke. "Hold up a second, Matthews," he said abruptly. Jenna halted at once, then slowly turned back around to face him, uncertainty and nervousness quickly swarming her belly. "You an' me got some things 'ta talk about," he told her, using a tone that plainly said there'd be no getting out of it either.
This was it. The time had come for her and Daryl to hash things out. Sucking in a deep breath, Jenna nodded and walked a few steps closer, propping her gun up against the bannister before crossing her arms over her chest. She didn't dare try to go any closer, feeling as though it would be wise to give Daryl some space for the undoubtedly difficult conversation they were about to have. As she stood there, her palms began to feel very sweaty as her nervousness mounted. She discreetly wiped them on the sides of her coat so Daryl wouldn't notice.
"I have to admit I'm a little surprised," Jenna said to break the ice. "I wasn't sure you were ever gonna talk to me again."
"Yeah, well, that was the plan," he admitted dryly, snorting to himself. "But ya know what? It's goddamn hard to ignore someone when they're never more'n ten feet away from ya," Daryl added, shrugging his shoulder in a way that said he hadn't really had any choice in the matter. "An' if you're gonna be around, figure we may as well try'ta talk so shit out."
Jenna nodded her understand, unsure if their talk was off to a good start or not. "Look, Daryl," she started, wanting to do something to try to get things headed in the right direction, "I'm really sor – "
"Don't say you're sorry," Daryl interjected sharply, making the words die on her lips. "I've heard ya apologize more times in the past two weeks than anyone else in my entire life. I'm sick 'ta death of hearin' you apologize." While Daryl shifted his gaze elsewhere, looking deep in thought, Jenna pressed her lips tightly together to keep from saying anything else, officially having no clue just what it was that Daryl wanted to accomplish with this 'talk' if he didn't want to hear an apology. After a few tense moments of silence, Daryl looked at her again. "Look, I ain't surprised that ya left," he finally admitted. "Even that last night you were here, somethin' told me ya wouldn't be around much longer." Jenna couldn't help but think back to how she'd spent that last night on the farm – sleeping in Daryl's arms. "But did ya really not know what your leavin' would do to the group?," he asked.
Jenna glanced down at her feet, shamefaced. "I knew," she admitted.
Daryl made a huffing noise. "So you just didn't care then?," he shot at her bitterly.
Jenna's gaze flew back up to his. "Of course I cared," she said vehemently. "I still do! Me not caring was never the problem."
"So you decided 'ta show how much you cared by bailin' on us?," Daryl countered swiftly, not missing a beat. "Is that how that works?"
Jenna sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm herself as she felt a small surge of annoyance within. Even after the time they'd been apart, even with how weird things were between them currently, there was one thing that hadn't changed – Daryl still knew exactly how and what to say to push her buttons and try her patience. But now wasn't the time to get annoyed with him for his tone or his words, she reminded herself. Now was the time to try to make things better.
"I had my reasons for leaving, Daryl. You know that," she said pointedly. When Daryl just raised his eyebrows, clearly waiting for a better answer, Jenna heaved. "Things were so complicated toward the end. First Sophia died, then all that shit happened with Shane. And I always wanted to try to find Sam – I told everyone that from the start," she said matter-of-factly. "I just…" Jenna trailed off and shook her head. "I was scared, Daryl. And I didn't know what else to do, so…I left. I didn't want to leave the farm – I loved it there. But at the time, it was the option that made the most sense."
Daryl pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "Well, I got a newsflash for ya," he said, his tone teetering on the edge of condescending, "the world's nothin' but one shitty, complicated place. An' with everything workin' against us, it's only gonna get more complicated from here on out," he told her matter-of-factly. "You can't just run away when things start 'ta get hard. Ya gotta put on your big-girl britches an' deal with it. That's life, Matthews."
"I know that now," she assured him with a firm nod. "Believe me, I've learned my lesson."
Daryl gave her a calculating look for a moment, as though trying to determine if she really had learned her lesson. Finally, he spoke again. "Were ya plannin' to come back?"
Jenna frowned and gave a small shrug. "To be honest, I wasn't sure what my plan was in the beginning. All I knew was I wanted to get to Fort Benning. Past that, I didn't know," she confessed. "I did think about it, though. Almost every day," she added, nodding her head. "I'd start to think about you or T-Dog or Lori or Carl, start to wonder what ya'll were doing or if everyone was okay. I'd get so worried sometimes that it'd take all my willpower not to turn around and come back." Jenna paused, remembering the nights spent lying awake and thinking about the friends no longer within her reach. Sometimes her worry would be so great that it would almost make her physically ill. "I never stopped thinking about you guys. Not for one second," Jenna continued. "But I kept going because of Sam. As bad as I wanted to be with you guys, I'd think about him – how I needed to find him – and I'd somehow find it in me to keep going forward."
"But you didn't find him," Daryl pointed out. She wasn't sure if she was seeing things or not, but it seemed as though in spite of his otherwise hard expression, Daryl had the tiniest gleam of sympathy in his blue eyes. "You never even made it to Fort Benning."
"No, I didn't," she confirmed with a sad shake of her head. "But I did find something else."
Daryl's frowned with uncertainty. "What's that?"
"Closure," Jenna answered. "As happy as I was to be with everyone on the farm, and as much as I wanted to stay, I knew deep down that I would never truly be at peace in the group unless I knew what happened to Sam. It was like I had this big question mark constantly hovering over me, refusing to leave me alone. I had to know," she insisted. "I didn't find my brother, no, but I did find the answers I'd been looking for. I finally had the closure I needed to move on with my life and start the next chapter. Here. With my friends," Jenna said with emphasis. "From the moment I found out what happened at Fort Benning, all I wanted was to come back to the group – even if Shane was here when I got back. If it meant being with the group again, I was willing to face him again, willing to live around him again. It wasn't gonna be easy, but I was gonna try."
She could help but notice that way Daryl's demeanor changed at the mention of Shane. His back went rigid and his gaze turned dark as he looked away, his jaw moving in a way that let her know he was grinding his teeth. "Fuckin' Shane," he grumbled under his breath, shaking his head.
Jenna pressed her lips together, thinking back to a conversation she'd had with T-Dog just a few days ago. He'd told her about the fight that had happened between Daryl and Shane after she left, told her how Shane had mouthed off to Daryl about her and how Daryl had nearly beat the bastard to a bloody pulp for it. "I heard what happened between you two after I was gone," she said quietly.
Daryl's eyes met hers again. "He had it comin'," he said without remorse. "He's lucky I didn't do worse." Jenna just nodded her understanding. After that, there were a long few moments where neither of them said anything. Then Daryl finally spoke up. "I wouldn't have let him hurt you," he admitted, some of the anger leaving his body. "I – we – would have protected you," he assured her, echoing the same words T-Dog had said when they'd sorted their own issues out.
Jenna smiled a bit and nodded. "I know."
Daryl looked at her for a long moment, then heaved and shook his head. "Ya shouldn't have left the way ya did," he said matter-of-factly, directing the topic away from Shane. "It wasn't right."
Jenna just nodded her head in agreement. "I know, and I regret that more than anything else. I should have talked to everyone. I shouldn't have been such a coward."
"No, you shouldn't've," Daryl didn't hesitate to agree.
Jenna sighed heavily, unsure if they were actually making progress in their conversation or not. She decided the time had come to go for the Hail Mary. "Look, Daryl, I know this isn't what you want to hear," Jenna started, "but I'm gonna say it anyway – I'm sorry. I hurt a lot of people when I left. I hurt the group and I…I hurt you," she added boldly. Daryl looked a little taken aback for a second, as though he hadn't expected her to that, then quickly turned his eyes elsewhere. "Believe me when I say that that's not what I was trying to do. I," Jenna hesitated, then decided to go all or nothing. "I care about you, Daryl. The last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you. But I did…and I'm sorry."
Daryl didn't say anything for a long few minutes, but, eventually, he let his eyes drift back over to her. "I been let down by a lotta people in my life," he said steadily. "So much so that I ain't usually one to give out second chances. Not when it's somethin' like this," he added with a shake of his head. "It just ain't how I do things."
Jenna instantly felt her heart drop into her stomach with massive disappointment. This was it then. No matter what she did or said, Daryl simply couldn't find it in himself to forgive her. Her worst fear was coming true. "I understand," she said with a nod, trying very hard to ignore the stinging threat of incoming tears. "I…I won't be a bother to you anymore. I'll keep my distance, I promise. The group won't even – "
"Would ya let me finish?," Daryl said, interrupting her rambling. Jenna fell silent, looking to him in confusion. When he was satisfied that she was going to listen to him, he continued. "I said I don't usually give second chances," he repeated, this time with more emphasis. "But in your case…I'm willin' to make an exception."
Jenna blinked in surprise. "You are?," she asked, unsure whether she'd heard him correctly or not.
"Yeah," Daryl confirmed with a nod. "That don't mean I'm gonna forgive an' forget everything overnight," he added, "but…I'm gonna try." He paused, then pointed a stern finger. "You gotta do your part too, Matthews," he added, raising his brows. "If you're gonna be with the group, then be with the group," Daryl told her with authority. "No more sittin' on the fence, no more pussy-footin' around, an' no more runnin' away. I ain't gonna deal with this shit again, you got that?," he demanded.
Jenna quickly nodded her head. "Yes."
"I want your word, Matthews," Daryl insisted.
"You have my word," Jenna promised.
"Good. I'm'a hold ya to that," he said in a tone that let her know he was being completely serious.
Jenna wasn't at all surprised to hear this. "I don't doubt it," she said smirking a bit. Daryl just nodded in response, the tension in his shoulders easing a bit. Another silence passed between them where neither of seemed to know what they were supposed to do or say next. "So…" Jenna pressed her lips together and raised her brows in question. "What does all this mean?"
Daryl thought about it for a second, then shrugged a shoulder. "Assumin' you don't have a change of heart an' run off in the middle of the night…" he said pointedly, lifting a brow at her, "…then I s'pose this means things'll be alright between us from here on out."
There were no words to describe how good it felt to hear him say that. Up until recently, Jenna had been feeling so discouraged, had truly been starting to believe that a friendship with Daryl just might not be obtainable anymore. To know that she had been wrong, to know that Daryl was finally willing to move past this awkward phase, made her heart swell with happiness and made her feel as though the weight of the world had just lifted off of her. She couldn't help but grin at him, not even attempting to hide her unabashed joy.
"Thank you, Daryl," she told him sincerely. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that," she added, though she was pretty sure her beaming smile was a pretty clear indicator.
"Don't thank me," Daryl countered with raised brows. "Thank that kid 'a yours."
Jenna immediately pulled a face of confusion. "Chloe?," she asked, her tone full of surprise. "What's she got to do with this?"
Daryl let out a snort. "She's spent the past week tryin'ta get me to talk to ya. Kid won't stop pesterin' me," he revealed. "Maybe now that we've got things sorted, she'll finally leave me alone," he added hopefully, though he didn't look nearly as irritated by the whole thing as he was trying to sound.
Jenna stared at him in shock for a moment, then chuckled a bit and shook her head in exasperation. "I'm surprised...but not at the same time," she admitted. Chloe was young, but she was mature for her age and wasn't shy when it came to something she wanted done. "That kid…," Jenna mused aloud, her voice filled with fondness.
"She's a bold one. Stubborn as hell, too," Daryl commented. "Reminds me a lot of someone else I know," he added, shooting Jenna a meaningful look.
Jenna smirked. "Birds of a feather, am I right?" Daryl nodded his head in agreement.
Silence fell between them after that, but, for the first time in a long time, it wasn't an uncomfortable one. The mood around them had done a complete one-eighty, turning from tense and uncomfortable to much more relaxed. Even still, after a few moments of staring at each other Daryl seemed to grow tired of the silence and nodded his head toward the door. "You should go get some sleep," he suggested. "I'll take over here an' keep an eye out."
Jenna considered staying behind, finding that she wasn't quite ready to leave him when they'd only just reached level ground again, but decided not to push anything. Their reconciliation was still very fresh – she didn't want to do anything to damage that. "Okay," she agreed, nodding her head. "If anything happens, well…you know the drill," she told him. Daryl nodded again, silently confirming that he knew what he was doing.
Jenna smiled at him, picked her gun up, then turned to leave. She'd only taken one step, however, when she felt overwhelmed by an urge that she knew she'd absolutely have to act on, especially so given the circumstances. "Hey, Daryl?," she said, turning back around to face him.
"Yeah?"
Jenna hesitated for a second, then set her gun down again and started walking toward him. He stood a little straighter as she approached, looking unsure as to what exactly she had on her mind. She stopped just in front of him, taking a very brief moment both to muster up a bit of courage and to appreciate the way he looked in the dim lighting that the half-moon overhead provided. "I'm gonna do something that I've wanted to do since I came back to the group," she informed him, stopping once they were standing only a foot apart. "Can you just…promise not to freak out?," Jenna pleaded, remembering all too well how Daryl recoiled whenever anyone tried to show him any affection.
Daryl raised a skeptical brow. "No guarantees."
Jenna smirked. "Good enough."
With that being said, she took a slow step forward to close the gap between them and wrapped her arms securely around his neck, nearly every inch of her body touching every solid inch of his as she hugged him for the first time. Daryl stiffened underneath her touch, but the reaction didn't surprise her. In fact, it was the exact reaction she'd expected from him. But then, in the next moment, Daryl began to slowly relax as he got used to the contact. And, to her surprise, after a few more seconds she felt his muscled arms slowly inch their way around her waist, as though he wasn't sure what exactly he was doing or if he was doing it right.
Jenna hadn't thought he'd hug her back, but here he was, relaxing even further and hugging her just as securely as she was hugging him. She rested her chin on top of his shoulder, smiling to herself as she hugged him tighter. She could feel the cold leather of his jacket underneath her chin, could feel the slightly longer strands of his hair tickling the side of her face, felt his steady intake of breath as he held her to him. The only other time they'd been this close was when they'd spent the night together in her tent for warmth. And just as had been the case back then, being in his secure embrace made her feel more safe and more content than she'd ever felt with anyone else, including Jon. She didn't want to let him go – she wanted to stay in his arms for as long as she could. But after a few moments ticked by, she knew the hug had probably gone on for longer than Daryl was comfortable with and finally mustered up the willpower to let him go.
She smiled at him as they released one another and took a step backward so that she wasn't directly in his face. "That wasn't so bad, right?," she asked, trying to ignore the way her heart was pounding against her ribs now.
"I've suffered worse," Daryl said. Though he was trying to sound nonchalant about it, she could tell by the way his eyes shifted around and how he rubbed the back of his neck that he was nervous. He seemed like he didn't know what to do with himself now that the hug was over and done with.
Jenna decided to save him the trouble of trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next. "Well, I guess I'll leave ya to it," she said, taking a few more steps backward. "Thank you…for everything."
Daryl nodded. She thought he looked the tiniest bit relieved that she was going to go to bed and give him some space. "Don't mention it."
Jenna smiled, then turned on her heel and started toward the front door, only stopping briefly so she could collect her gun again. She could feel his eyes on her as she left, which made a few butterflies begin to flap around in her belly. Jenna paused once she reached the door, turning to face him one last time. "Goodnight, Daryl," she said. "And Merry Christmas."
Daryl just inclined his head to her in response. Jenna flashed him a smile in return, then left him to his watch and made her way back inside, finally feeling that – for once – everything was right in the world.
Thoughts?