Fractured

Chapter Thirty Four

"Where have you been? When you ditched Rat we thought something..."

"I'm fine." Nicole snapped cutting Jax off as she slammed her bag on the bar before turning to face him. She was so angry right now that it was taking everything she had not to hit him.

"Where have you been Nic?" Jax asked again and this time Nicole noticed the need in his voice and for the first time since setting eyes on him she took the chance to really look at him. His posture slouched, those once sparkling blue eyes of his dulled by pain and sadness. It reminded her of herself.

How did we get here.

Everything had changed. They had all gone so far south now that none of them knew which way was up. It wasn't suppose to be this hard. They were a family they were suppose to love one another not destroy one another. This life, it was going to be the death of all of them.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you do it, why did you make Happy do it?" Nicole's voice cracked a silent tear falling as she watched the realisation of her words wash over her cousins face. He took a step to move towards her but Nicole instinctively took a step back. "Don't..." She warned. "Why?"

"Who told you?" Nicole shook her head.

"Doesn't matter." Her voice was raised. Why did they always have to dance around everything why couldn't they just talk be honest with one another. "Just tell me why Jay...Please."

"She was going to take away my Son." Jax answered his voice now raised to the same level as Nicole's

"Oh my god." Nicole ran her hands through her hair as she turned her back on her cousin. She knew that Wendy wasn't lying but it still didn't make it easier to hear the admission of guilt tumble from her cousins mouth. She looked back at him. "How could you..."

"I did what needed to be to done." Nicole laughed.

"Really that's what your going with. It wasn't her Jay. She didn't plan this she just did what she was asked to do by your wife. She did it for the love of her son. Tara did it for the love of her Sons."

"I DON'T CARE." Jax shouted slamming his fist on the bar as he walked closer to Nicole.

"That much is obvious. Look around you Jay we're dying here. Look how much blood has be shed. I don't blame Tara for wanting to leave. She's getting them out before it's her blood or worse those children. Your children."

"I can protect them." Jax pleaded in anger as he ran a hand over his face.

"At what cost." Nicole sighed. This time instead of taking steps to put space between herself and her cousin Nicole moved towards him. She took one of his bruised and cut knuckles in her hands. "Clay?" Jax nodded. "And what happens now?"

"That doesn't concern you." Jax said as he pulled his hand out of her grasp.

"Right." Nicole recreated the gap. Turning her back on him as she went over to her bag. "Because I'm just your cousin, Tara and Gemma just Old Ladies. Wendy just a crack whore and the mother of your 1st born son. We don't have a cut so we're not important enough to know what is going on. Club business right." Nicole pulled her bag onto her shoulder and looked at Jax who for once was no longer looking at her. "We're just privy to the blowbacks, the revenge the blood, the hurt, the loss. I don't blame Tara for wanting to get those boys out, get them the hell away from this poison. Those boys deserve better than this life. There was a time you agreed with that."

"And who fucked that up. YOU." Jax shouted standing toe to toe with her as he pointed his finger in her face.

He was sick of listening to her, sick of the accusatory tone. He knew all to well how deep they had gotten. But he wasn't about to stand there and let her speak to him like that. Judge him and his family. She was no innocent. He hadn't forgotten the fact that if she had never screwed up and gotten mixed up with the Cartel that Jax and his family would have been free of this life. His actions, all the plays it was to get the club clear of all of this. Get his family straight. What he didn't need was his Family being pulled away from, Nicole acting like she was innocent and free of blame. This was as much on her as it was on Clay...the Cartel...Pope.

"Your right that was on me and I hate myself everyday for especially now. It's like I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Funny I thought the same thing when I found out you were a whore."

The slap caught him off guard, his head snapping to the side. His hand came up the burning of his cheek. His eyes turning darkly onto his cousin. He watched as her hand came up to connect with his face again. Jax was quicker now. Ready for it, so before her hand could connect with him Jax grabbed her wrist pulling her forcefully towards him. Using his weight he pushed back against the bar pinning her there as he gripped her wrist tighter. He watched the fear flash in her eyes as she fought to control her tears. He didn't care.

"What are you going to do Prez. Hit me. Pump a speedball into huh..come on tough guy...DO IT."

"SHUT UP."

"What's the matter, need someone else to do it."

"You have no clue what I do for you." He yelled. "I protect you to god damn much." He peeled her from the bar only to slam her back against it. He was getting completely lost in that anger that seemed to always be there ever since the day he had watched his best friend die."

"Your hurting me..."

"Good maybe then your realise this isn't a game. We're in serious shit."

"I know that."

"Do you. Do any of you..." Nicole suddenly realised that all this anger wasn't just about her. This was about Tara, Wendy. Everyone. He cousin was sinking in his own hate and that just made Nicole feel worse.

"Jay..."

"NO..."

"Jackson."

Nicole turned to see Gemma standing in the clubhouse doorway. Her eyes wide in horror as she took in the scene in front of her. Gemma tentatively took a step deeper inside the clubhouse towards them. Nicole looked back at Jax who was still staring at her. Looking back at Gemma who was almost at Jax's side, Nicole gave a shake of her head warning Gemma not to get involved. Gemma ignored her warnings.

"Jackson." Gemma spoke softly as she placed her hand on her Sons forearm trying her best to ease him off her niece. "Come on baby. You don't want to do this."

As if her voice pierced through Jax's trance he turned to look at his mother, his grip loosening on Nicole fully. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair finally putting some much needed distance between them as he took a few deep breaths.

"You okay sweetheart?" Nicole nodded although her hand cradled the soreness of her other wrist. Gemma looked towards her Son. "Jax...Jax." Jax turned to look at his mother.

Jax could see the fear in his mothers eyes and realising what she must have just walked in on, what it must have looked like Jax did not blame her. He had never meant I to get that out of hand. He hadn't meant to lose it with Nicole he was just so tired of all the shit. Tired of having to always be the strong one. He looked over at her then down to the wrist she was rubbing. He rubbed at his eyes.

"Mom." Jax finally spoke looking back at his mother who still looked concerned for both him and Nicole. He didn' have ime to ease that concern right now though."I need you to take Clay home. He's out Mom. He's gunna need you." Gemma nodded, kissing Jax on his reddening cheek before turning on her heels. She spared one last look at Nicole, reaching out and touching her arm before leaving the way she had come in.

Nicole just stared blankly at the pair, her eyes going between Gemma and Jax, confused by what was going on. Confused by her cousins words.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"No it wasn't you and Gemma...is...is she with Clay for you, for the club?" Jax didn't answer her which just confirmed everything. Her mouth came up to cover her mouth. "Oh my god." All the horrible things she had said to her Aunt came rushing back to her. Gemma was only do this for Jax, the club. She was doing this for them. "How could you ask her to do that." Jax remained silent. Unsurprised Nicole picked up her bag that had dropped to the floor in all the commotion, and readjusted it on her shoulder as she to headed for the door.

"Nicole...Wait."

"What?" She asked her back still to Jax.

"Your going to Tacoma." This caught her full attention as she turned to face her cousin.

"Why?"

"It's to dangerous for you to be here."

"Why?" She asked again like a little child.

"You being here causes to many problems. To many variables. I need you out of the picture."

"No."

"Fuck Nic...When are you going to stop this and just do as your told. I'm doing this for you."

"No your doing it for yourself and the club."

"What's the difference?" He said as if he was losing all fight. "Look I have plans." He ignored Nicole's scoff. "Plans to get us clear of all this shit. Clay is suspicious of your ties with the Cartel. He's up to something. I can't afford to have him getting into this. It's better if your out of the equation. Just for now." Nicole rubbed her temples.

"I have no choice in this."

"No. You leave in an hour."

"Fuck."

"Just do this Nic, please don't fight me on this."

"And Tara. What happens to her?"

"That's not your business."

"Of course it isn't." Jax just looked down at his feet. Nicole went to leave but suddenly stopped. "You never answered my question. Why did you make Happy do it?" Nicole's voice was small as if she didn't really want to be asking the question. She didn't.

"I needed to know if he could." Jax answered deciding not to bullshit her. After everything that had just transpired between them they were way past politeness and worry over hurting each others feelings.

"Yeah well he did."

Nicole walked through the clubhouse doors and was met by Phil. He gave her a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. Nicole wondered how much he had overheard.

"Hi Nicole. Jax wants me to take you home."

"Of course he does." She followed Phil over to the garage tow truck. As she climbed into the passenger seat she noticed Gemma standing in the door way of the garage office, clearly waiting for Clay to be done so that she could as Jax had ordered, take Clay home. Nicole physically shuddered at the thought of what Gemma might have to do to gain Clay's trust back. All that anger she had felt towards her Aunt when she found out she was back in Clay's arms had now evaporated and turned into something more like sadness and fear.

"Are you okay Nicole?"

"No. Not really Phil."

The car journey had been driven in silence. When they pulled up outside of the house Phil followed Nicole inside. She switched on the light in the kitchen chucking her bag onto the kitchen table.

"You want anything to drink?"

"No, um we actually don't have that much time."

"I better go and pack then."

Walking down the hall Nicole pulled her cell from her back pocket. Looking over her shoulder as she entered her room to check if Phil was following- which he wasn't- she closed the door as she pressed the call button.

Voicemail.

Nicole sighed and tried again. Same response. Taking a breath she waited for the beep. "Hi T, it's me. I spoke to Wendy today..." Nicole took a seat on her soft bed. "Look I really need to talk to you. When you get this just give me a call. Please." Nicole ended the call throwing the phone next to her on the bed as she fell onto her back. Tears silently falling.

"She knows." Jax said from the shadows when he saw Happy heading for his bike.

Happy craned his neck noticing the red glow of the cigarette beside the garage office. Seconds later Jax was emerging.

"She knows about Wendy. Bitch told her everything." Happy ran a hand back and forth over his shaved his head. He didn't want Nicole to find out about what had happened, what he had done. Not like that.

"Fucking Whore."

"Yeah."

"You tell her 'bout Tacoma?"

"Yeah. She's at her house packing."

"I better..." Happy cocked his head towards his bike. Indicating that he should probably go and see her, like he was originally planning.

"Yeah, go man." Happy turned but before taking a step he looked back at Jax his eyes narrowing in on his President. "What?"

Happy shook his head. "Nothin' Prez." Happy walked over to his bike. Even though it was dark the dull light from the garage allowed Happy's trained eye to see the red mark on the side of Jax's cheek. A mark that hadn't been there before he disappeared into the clubhouse with Nicole. She had slapped him and if she had slapped Jax of all people it was because she had to. He felt his fists clench as he swung his leg over his bike.

He parked up at the side of the tow truck. Upon entering the house he found Phil sat at the Kitchen table. He shot to his feet when he noticed him.

"Hey Hap."

"Where is she?"

"Bedroom. She's been in there a while." Happy nodded.

"Go take a smoke." Taking the hint that Happy wanted to be alone with Nicole Phil nodded and slipped out the back door. Happy slapping him on the arm as he went.

Happy walked down the hall to the closed door. He knew that she was going to be pissed. Hell she had every right to. He pushed open the door. Nicole was stood at the head of the bed emptying the contents of her nightstand into a duffel bag. She stopped when she heard the door. It took what felt like a life time to Happy for her to look at him...when she did he wished that she never.

Nicole bit on her lip to stop the sobs that suddenly filled her chest when she looked at him. There were so many things she wanted to say, do. She was so mad, hurt, upset but before she could puzzle any of those emotions together Happy was in front of her. His rough calloused hands coming rest on her either side of her face before he crashed his lips on to hers hungrily.

Her body acted all on it's own, agaisnt her mind that was screaming that she didn't want this. Instead her hands traveled to the back of his head as she kissed him back. Wanting him just as much as he clearly wanted her.

A moan escaped her lips as he broke away. His dark eyes bored into hers and she couldn't stop the tears.

Happy pulled her into his strong arms. Her arms wrapping around him as she sobbed. He hated that he had caused this. But he had to. It was his job and as much as he loved her that had to come first.

He ran his hand over her soft dark locks trying to soothe her when he noticed something poking out of her nightstand drawer. Intrigued he unwrapped his arms from her moving her to the side so that he could get a better look.

"What the fuck is this." Happy asked grabbing the pamphlet as he looked at Nicole.

Wiping the tears from her eyes Nicole focused on what Happy was holding. She froze, the blood draining from her body.

"Hap...I can explain..."